Comics by Shaenon II

[chicgeek]

Intermezzo: Nightmares and Dreamland

Chic dreams. Head on Wally's shoulder, she's fallen asleep during a MST3K marathon.
She's walked a long, convoluted path with her companions. A grouchy bear shambles to her left. To her right, a three armed half metallic man. Skipping merrily ahead, a spikey haired scarecrow of a man, dressed in wild colors, a red coat over all. A vine peeks out of the basket swinging from her arm.
The curtain opens before them, revealing the wizard.
"Mr.Tesla! It was you all the time!"
He smiles at the girl in the blue gingham labcoat, who's clapping her hands with glee.
"Of course. You've had a difficult time, but it will soon be over. Just reconfigure the settings on your shiny brass slippers, click the gears together three times, and you'll be home."
"Why would I want to do a foolish thing like that? I'm staying here in MadOz forever and ever!"
Her friends cheer, even the bear. "Good answer!" The wizard replies."Step this way to the magic workshop!"
She sighes happily in her sleep, smiling.

[Professor_Tinker]

Xerox did *not* dream.

... this was because he was still awake. Lying in bed in a wife beater and boxers, sunglasses on the side table, staring morosely at the ceiling.
His Meds tended to keep him awake, combined with a diet high in caffeine and sugar. All that was keeping him insane was what was driving him insane.

Some nights he took a sleeping pill, just to cut off the time spent up in bed. Even though he hated sleeping pills- he disliked being drugged. Because when he stayed up late, he started thinking too much.

.... thinking to much. Meh. It was easier not to. To just accept reality as he saw it, his life, his past- just keep ambling on through it, without a backward glance.
Just snark sarcastically, drink some soda, and keep moving.

If only the easy way wasn't getting harder and harder these days.
he glanced in a mirror on the wall, smirking slightly.
We'll, at the least, maybe when the past caught up with him, it would have trouble recognizing him.

Eventually he drifted off, one hand clasped over a spot just down and to the left of his right shoulder. There was a scar there, an old scar.
Like a bullet wound.

[Dr. Amino]

*Amino dreams*

Dr. Amino stood on an empty field, looking around. "Where is everyone?" she asks. She turns to the valley, where the White House usually resides, but it isn't there. She scans the skies, but there is no sign of the Megalomanic Rocket Society's starship anywhere. Even the crystal field that the Pinks and Blues had made their home is empty. "Is anyone here?" she cries.
"Dana!" a little girl's voice calls out, "I'm so glad you're here!"
Dr. Amino smiles. "Hey, Alice. Have you seen President Grant? I haven't heard from him in a while. Or the Megalogical Rocket Society, maybe?"
Alice rolls her eyes. "Oh, they're all busy over at the castle." She waves her hand dismissively.
Amino stares in the direction of the distant castle. It seemed to have grown somewhat since the last time she had visited. "Well, let's go get them." She begins to walk towards the castle, but Alice stands in her way.
"Why do you want to hang out with them, Dana?" she asks sadly. "You don't need them. You've got me."
"I know, Alice, but right now I really want to talk to them." Amino tries to step around Alice, but Alice keeps getting in the way.
Now Alice looks angry. "Fine! Be a meanie! I don't want to play with you anyways! So go away!" She stamps her foot on the ground.
*and with that, Amino woke up*

*Ingrid enters her office at five-thirty the next morning, bright and cheery thanks to a dozen cups of pure caffeine. To her surprise, she sees Dr. Amino sitting at her computer, playing a game of solitaire* "Wow, ma'am. You're usually not awake this early."
"I couldn't sleep. I had a really bad dream that kept me up all night."
"What was it about?"
"I couldn't find Grant and Alice was being a b$#@&."
*rolls eyes* "You know, ma'am, most people have dreams about things like giant monsters that turn into pastries or something."
"Seriously? Most people's dreams are boring."
*right on cue, a chinchilla the size of a minivan runs across the room and promptly transmogrifies into a Danish*
"Ingrid? Could you get the transmogrifyer away from the chinchillas again? I'm a little busy." *points at computer screen and giggles* "All the cards are dancing across the screen, look." *giggles again as Ingrid enters the chinchilla pens*

[Wallycaine]

Lagos looked up at Andrew. "Yeah, I met your Dad. Wally did too. Apparently tutoring that poor boy is a family hobby or something."

"But that would have had to been over ten years ago, and Wally would have been... Oh."

"Yeah, it was just after he went mad. In fact, just the fact that I'm talking to you is something I have to thank him for. I... had a lot on my mind at the time."

"Really? I would have thought he'd have mentioned working on someone like you. How did Wally meet him?"

"I'll let him tell you that. I'm sure there's a funny story about it. Or a sad one. You never can tell. Ohh, food's here."

---

Wally dreams...

Wally whirled around at the sound of falling bombs, then skedattled. Running into a nearby townhouse, he reached a window and looked out on the London street. There was Tinker, trying valiently to rebuild a rabbit shaped shed, which was trying to pull itself down around him. There was Chic and Des and the rest of the family, laughing and singing, while his shadow wrapped itself around each of them. There was SIB, sitting alone in the tower, batting away missles with a metal pole, while the pole shrieked in pain. Wally pounded on the glass, trying to get someone's attention, while they all ignored him. Then, he was whirled around and punched.

Jane stood there, hand raised, then gestured outside. "Look at that," she shrieked, "look at what you've done." Wally followed here finger till he saw the most heavily damaged palace out there. "You destroyed it, just as I was getting it back together. You monster!"

"I didn't do it, it was the war-"

"But who started it? Who set it loose to wreck havoc? You did! You always will!" With that, she turned and stalked away, never once breaking stride to look back.

Wally breathed hard, leaning up against the wall. Out of the shadows came a shadowy figure, hooded and cloaked. "You did well. Here's your seven fifty." Passing over a bag of coins, it backed away again.

"Wait, I don't even know who you are. Pull back your hood." Pausing slightly, Wally watched as it reached up. He woke up in a cold sweat upon seeing the ears.

Wally looked down at Em. She looked so peaceful. Just a bad dream. Nothing he hasn't had before. Back to sleep.

Wally's next dream consisted of whipped cream, gerbils, Chic, and flying turtles. Figure out your own configurations.

[Professor_Tinker]

Andrew, eventually relieved of duty by Sayasuke, dreamed a very small dream.

He dreamed that he was young- as young as his aging made him look.
A teenager.
He was in a living room, and all of his friends were there, and they were as young as he was.
They were talking about something silly, making Emily giggle while she cuddled with Wally. Desius was ignoring everyone, playing with a child-Fredric, who was laughing and chattering gleefully to Sayasuke. Xerox and Jane were arguing over some trivial point in the last movie, and they were both blond for some reason. And he was sitting with David, talking shyly while Thaddeus picked out another DvD.
He could smell fresh cookies and flowers, and Daddy was out having dinner with Mummy and everyone was so happy, no worries or sorrow, just this one... perfect... moment.

End Intermezzo

[Professor Zobot]

Chapter 11: A Tangled Web

-Five Miles Beneath David's Ice Cream Shoppe-

A moment of silence passed between them. The arm was the first one to speak.

"I do not know what exactly would happen to you if I killed you, you know."

David looked up at it. He lay on a table, surrounded by computers and electronics, by flashing lights and whirring machines. His body was fastened down by metal grips along his neck, his stomach, both his ankles, and his one remaining wrist, as the Arm pointed it's palm sensor down at him. Along his head were several electrodes, affixed to his skull. He gritted his teeth. "Oh really? What do you mean?"

"I possess little data on theology, but my hypothesis is that it depends entirely on whether or not you have a soul of your own, which is difficult to determine. You exist within the body of David Toboz, once known as Zobot. He was undoubtedly a wicked man, who murdered, stole, and used others to fulfill his wishes. If you inherited his soul, it is reasonable to conclude that you, despite being a creature morally alternate from Zobot, would be consigned to hell because of deeds you would have never done, given the choice. But I do not believe that would happen, for while a soul likely persists within the body, it is not affiliated with you. Rather, it is aligned with Zobot. Thus it is likely that when the body dies, you will cease to exist."

David stared up at him impassively. "I am Zobot. I just can't remember..."

"That is incorrect. For one, your behavior does not match him, either before going mad or after. You may share his genetics, but little else... as for the memory, it is not a factor of remembering anything. Zobot no longer exists except as shards." it looked away, up at the computer terminals nearby. "The night he was betrayed, Lord Zobot believed himself about to die. Rather than accept that fate, he chose to transfer his consciousness to the nearest thing he could find that might survive the blast... part of a prototype robot he was designing... an arm."

David blinked. "So then... it's not I lost my memory-"

"-it was merely moved. Using a device to transmit data between organic and inorganic intelligences, Zobot managed to move nearly 96% of his brain into the arm of a Zobot Mk. 3 android before the explosion severed the link." The arm ejected it's rockets and lightly propelled itself over to a keyboard, typing into it.

David clentched his fists. "B-but how is that even possible? If I only had 4% of a human mind, could I be thinking or talking or anything at all?"

The Arm paused for a moment and turned around. "Because you are Mad. The Madness rarely cares for what is possible. Zobot transferred his mind, but not his genetics. I possess many of his memories and most of his consciousness, but none of his Madness. That... was your inheritance. With it, you became just slightly more than an ordinary human: not truly mad, but capable of occasional madlike outbursts. Remember the final attack against the Martians? The conflict with Desius? Or the incident at the Awards you spoke of? You are, perhaps, the least Powerful Mad Scientist on the planet... but still Mad."

It continued to type away, furiously, as David squirmed and tried to escape. He found he couldn't. Not yet, anyway. With a sigh, he turned his head. "So what now? Are you going to download yourself back into me and we become that psychopath again?"

"Negative." The Arm almost looked like it was frowning, despite it's lack of a mouth. "You are...growing. Becoming more and more complete. As am I. Were we to unite, it would likely turn into a cliche "demon within" scenario, where you seemed nice and stable but occasionally went psychotic and evil. But somehow, with the help of friends, you would gradually grow and change and become the dominant personality, until we were integrated together and becoming a benevolent, if violent, creature. I have learned how these things work: I've read about Xenogears on the internet." It tilted it's palm. "Besides, when I choose to download into a human body, I want it to have TWO human arms."

"But if you're not going to kill me... and you're not going to unite us... then what?" David raised an eyebrow. "What was the point of all this otherwise?"

"You needed to cease to be. As long as I inhabit this frame, I am hardwired to obey certain entities. I cannot change this, I would have to take my own mind apart to even try. I was programmed to obey the inhabitant of the body of David Toboz, and as long as you give me commands, I must obey them. However, when those commands conflict with the commands of another designated master, such as Robert Anarmi, I am given flexibility to decide which to follow."

"I command you to release me and shut down." David smiled.

"Robert Anarmi commands me not to, and to download what useful data is in your mind into his off-site supercomputer, Arkives. In the absense of a third designated master, I have conflicting orders, and thus must choose which to obey. I choose Anarmi."

"D-darn it! Who is Robert Anarmi? I won't let you do this!"

"...A state of mind." The Arm turned away. "And it is irrevelent because I've already done it. Credit where credit is due, the organic/inorganic interface device devised by one of Anarmi's recruits can copy data from humans remarkably painlessly." It bent down and pressed a small, nondescript, black button. "Deleting from an organic AI, however, is quite painful."

David's mind became awash in fire. He screamed, as he felt as if he was being torn apart. The electrodes on his skull buzzed as they worked. "NNNNGGGH! Ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts!" He clentched and unclentched his hands. Muscles along his body spasmed uncontrollably. For a brief moment, even his heart stopped beating.

"It burns so badly..." The man looked around, opening his eyes. "Why am I here...why does it hurt so much? Please...what did I do? Who are you?" it stared at the arm, looking like a kicked puppy.

"I'm your best friend." The arm reached out and touched the man's free hand. "We are almost done, and then you may rest. Stay with me." It clenched his arm as it spasmed again and the man screamed. "You were a useful decoy, but little else... take heart, for there is a greater good in what we do."

The boy gritted his teeth as images and words flashed in his mind.

Failed to stop the martians. (What are martians?)
Failed to bring Narbon to justice. (Why? Was she bad?)
Failed to save Desius from himself. (Who was that?)
Failed to save the twin heroes. (When did I do that?)
Failed to spare the demon. (Why would I spare a monster?)
Failed to stop the fighting at the awards. (How did it start at all?)
Failed to protect his friends. (Do I have friends?)
Failed to save himself. (What must I do to end the pain?)
Failed. Failed. Failed.

Madness dreamed. It dreamed a dream of being sane. The dream was flickering, sputtering out, like a candle that has burned itself away.

And then, there was an ending. It wasn't a big one, so on a galactic scale, almost nothing noticed.

[Jane Narbon]

I stared at Izydora, sizing up the machine she had constructed. "You know," I said, as if I didn't occasionally have to dodge a blast from the thing, "if you're dissatisfied with something in your job, you only had to say."

I had almost reached the phone when it was blasted to bits. However, I could see what the machine was and did now. Hmmm...

[Professor Zobot]

A body lay limp on a rack. The Arm peered over at it. "Arkives, are you certain that he has been deleted?"

"Affirmative. All data, save for subconscious impulses necessary for body functions, has been erased from the organic frame."

The Arm pushed itself off of the computer terminal and crawled forward. "And you didn't copy any of his sentience into your systems? Merely memory data and the knowledge stored within his Madness?"

"Affirmative."

"Are you SURE? I don't want a risk of this turning into a "Ghost in the Shell" scanario."

"Affirmative. All data transferred is read-only, and may not interact directly with Arkives system files."

"Alright. As soon as this unit departs from this lair, delete any mission-critical data stored in these computers. It's all backed up in the main Arkives unit anyway. Then sever any internet or network connection with your main terminal and power down most systems in this area. Only keep what data and power is needed to keep life support and security systems on. Do not allow anything to enter or leave this place; Lord Zobot cheated death once before, we cannot allow his body to die and his 'soul' released yet again. Let this place serve as an appropriate tomb for our creator."

Arkives began to do so without speaking, and as lights began shutting off all around it, the Arm laughed. It laughed long and hard, and it laughed the laughter of devils. It was extremely satisfying to finally be able to put things into motion. It ejected its rockets and began flying up the powering down elevator shaft. As it finally reached the entrance again, it jetted out of the hidden pathway and closed it behind him. Staring up at it was the Walnut-man, Doug. It bent it's fingers. "Lock the doors behind us and board up the building. Then, hunt and kill the man known as Thaddeus Guy. He is one of the last undefinable variables that must be removed."

Doug reached into the ice cream cooler and removed a dripping ice cream scoop that gleamed silver. "Ha ha... yes master..." he breathed loudly. "Three scoops of...ice cream flavored...brains... hah ha... sent to you..." there was a manic grin on his face.

"Err... this unit did not inform you where it will be going, nor has it any intention of doing so...but sure, whatever. Go do it." It jetted out of the building and into the sky. Storm clouds were gathering in the sky, and a light rain was falling. Soon, it would be growing much stronger. "All units receiving my e-mail: Begin phase one come this morning. We are going to shift the tone of this world from Whimsicality to Tragitron."

Shortly after it vanished into the cloudy sky, all wireless communication within the city and the surrounding area began to experience a strange sort of interference, and ceased to function...

[Professor_Tinker]

~M~
~Headquarters~

"... you know, as much as I appreciate you thinking of this, don;t you think you should be in bed? You're still pretty krenklech, frankly." said Xerox, climbing a ladder- they were in Forms Room 3.5, and the set he needed was on the top of the file cabnets. Thirty feet up.

Fredric made a grunty noise, half leaning against the wall.

" 's fine. M'not sleepy- jus' tired.Wait- that came out wrong." said Fredric, shaking his head slightly.

He had definitely gone Mad, xerox could tell- His eyes had that look now, along with the other signs.
Apparently he woke up around noon and demanded to be brought in to M to get registered ASAP.
Made Xerox proud that he remembered the paperwork- but the kid needed to rest. he was so tired, he hadn't even spiked his hair! Cute, sure, but kinda a shocking change.

"Ah, here ya go- SMRD Positive Form, Shapshifter DNA reg (better safe then sorry), Magic Abilty and Artfact Reg, SMRD Registration, annnnnd a renewed M form- you gonna keep working here, right?" he asked, hopping off the top of the ladder and landing easily, stack of papers in hand.

"Wha? O' course. ya hired Chakra yet?" asked Fredric, rubbing his eyes.

"This morning, great girl. Fits in great. Already beat Calypso at arm wrestling and got the Doc to kicker her out of- wait, you know....?"

"Erm, long story. She's a pal." said Fredric, scratching the back of his head.

Xerox nodded, and lead him back to his office. Calypso was sitting in the corner sulking- he didn't handle defeat well.

"Get up and get me some coffee, ya yutz. And show some respect! Fredric here had his meshugas* yesterday." he snapped, hitting him with the thick stack of papers.

Calypso made a curt suggestion whic will not be repeated.

"Physically impossible, my carribian friend." said Xerox dryly.

"I'd like ta see ya try, Color-Copy." groused Calypso, standing up and turning to Fredric, instantly cheering up.

"So, ya hit the big cocconut, ey? How ya feelin?" he asked, ruffling Fredric's hair.

"Okay- sort of. My head is tired." he admitted.

"Awwwwww. Don' worry little man- one cup of Momma Calypso's Cure-all coming right up! You just getcha work done." he said cheerfully, pushing Frdric into Xerox's office and scampering off.

Fredric collapsed happily into the chair in front of Xerox's Desk- Xerox had already gotten started sorting the forms.

"Calypso's his *last* name?" he asked, shaking his head.

"No. It's a codename. His real name is James, I think. But he likes Calypso better. Hell, he thought *my* name was a codename for three years... hey, what's your specialty and General field? I need it to update the Dossiers- most people have one of each. Lit-Bio, Bio-mech, Psych-Bot, that sort of thing." he said offhandedly, twirling a pen.

"Um, Strategy I think.... I'm not sure about my general yet." admitted Fredric.

"Fine with me. I know the rest of your info- where's your pappy?" asked Xerox, hands bluffing as he completed the paperwork at an inhuman pace, stamping signing, filling, filing and sorting at superspeed.

They were both jolted when an alarm went off.

"What the- Aw, come ON! Code 34- high concentration of Mads in an urban area. So much for the staff meeting."

"Don' you hafta go, Xerox?"

"What? Hell no! They pay me to do paperwork and manage- I only go on Feild missions a) when I feel like it, b) when it's a case on my clearance level, or C)because the higher-ups feel like yankin' my chain. Therefore *I'm* staying right here and doing my @#$!! job."

"Nice. Hey- ya missed one. I, uh, *have* a 'secondary DNA Donor', as it turns out."

"WHAT?! Oh, god... really? Oy vey, you know how many peices of paperwork I'm gonna hafta shift? Who? I'm gonna need to verify this one."

"Desius Raize- if ya wanna meet 'im, I was plannin' on seein' him today anyways."

"Lead on, macduff."

[Desius]

Mister sipped his coffee. He checked his watch. It was time.
He enjoyed the peace of the cafe, watching the city flow around him.
It would not last.
He wondered, not for the first time, and not for the last, if he prefered peace or the frenzy.
He knew the man he waited for would come.
All it would take was time.
Every action had a consequence, even his own. It was time to pay the piper.
Mister smiled. A hard and humorless smile. He took a sip and waited.

[Claire]

Fredric won the argument. He picks up a bucket, turns to me and starts to pour the chemical on my head-

A bird yells outside, waking me up. Stupid bird. I get up and get dressed. First things first, I’m going to need some actual clothes. I can’t keep wandering around in this dress and these high heels. At least I can hide the cooler in the hotel basement.

*Outside*
Let’s see, I have Mister Tinker’s address, but first I need to find clothes. *walking* Here’s a store, but I don’t have any more money. What to do…

John shoved the last pair of jeans onto the shelf. This wasn’t the best job in the world, but at least it made sense. Plus, he wasn’t as likely to get hit in the head as when he had worked for Dr. Smi-

*CLANG*
He’s unconscious, so I should have a few minutes. I need jeans, a shirt, shoes, and, most importantly, a coat with *lots* of pockets. Pockets are useful. I run into the changing room, put on the new clothes, stuff the dress into one of the bigger pockets and the high heels into another, and run back out. He’s still unconscious. Good. I run over to the cash register and hit “No Sale,” quickly removing the money and placing it in one of the sale bags under the counter. Then I run back to the salesman, drop the money in front of him, and wait.

John blinked. Ow. There was a girl next to him, watching him.
“Are you ok? That guy hit you really hard?”
“...What? A guy hit me? That explains why my head hurts.” She looks kind of familiar. I wish I could think properly.
“Yeah, he ran in and knocked you out, then stole the money from the cash register.” She gestured to a bag next to him. “You got lucky though. I watched this superhero- I think he said his name was Mr. Awesome? – catch the guy. The superhero dropped the money here and flew off. Do you feel alright?”
“Headache…”
“You should probably take the rest of the day off. He hit you pretty hard.”
“Ughh… I think you’re right…”

I stroll out of the store as the salesman leaves for wherever he lives. With some luck, he won’t even remember what I looked like. Since none of the cash was stolen, I doubt they’ll believe someone seriously stole random things like a coat off the sales rack.

Now, properly attired, I can go to Mister Tinker’s house. I found this map in the changing room, and it says I should… umm… *twisting the map* maybe I should go to the left…

[Professor_Tinker]

Andrew sat down in the set across from Mister, face uncharacteristically... well, pensive, to say the least. He was carrying a briefcase, which he set down next to the table.

"... Mister, I presume."

"Indeed. As you are Andrew Kaboom Omega Particle Prince Risk Tinker."

"You know, most people never noticed the 'squared' I put over that last 'P'." said Andrew, smiling at the waitress who brought his favorite drink- Coffee, extra cream and sugar.
.. had Mister ordered for him? Creepy.

Twenty minutes ago, he had been cleaning his classroom when someone had delivered a package to him, containing the briefcase he had brought with him. Inside ....
Inside were pictures, documents, newspaper clippings... a hundred pieces of dots that connected and pointed to one... horrifying... incredible fact..
A conspiracy to destroy hundreds of people, innocent and guilty alike, who all suffered from madness.

And the one picture of a culprit.. was sitting across from him.

Mister made a slight motion that on anyone else, might have been considered a 'smile'.

"Suffice it to say, Doctor Tinker, that I am no ordinary Man. Allow me to cut to the chase."

[Professor_Tinker]

"Look, mister, I don't care WHO you are, that patient is recovering, and only family is allowed in. That punk kid can go in, but YOU can stay OUT."

"... oh, gonna bring out the big guns, ey? Thrilling at keeping the guy with the Green hair out, hmm? Well, eat it- your taxes pay my salary, and Mr. Badge here says Get the hell out of my way, lady." snarled Xerox, flashing his badge. he had to admit, that sort of greenish-chalky look on their faces was always worth it.

he stalked into the hospital room, puff of steam practically rising from his head.

A rather scruffy-looking man with his arm in his cast and a Fredric hugging his (uninjured) arm gave him a look of awe.

"I don't know who you are, but I am eternally grateful for what you just did."

"Primary Xerox, nice ta meetcha. Fredric, ya yutz, get off of him- ya want him to need another cast?!"

[Jane Narbon]

I dodged the blasts of Izydora's machine, pulling the shades open as I went. Izydora herself was looking somewhat disheveled, and I swear her eyes were glowing. Ordering her around probably wouldn't work. Then, I got a look at the machine.

Which suddenly stopped, Izydora clicking her remote without success. The distraction gave me the ability to sneak over to the machine's power cord, unplug it, then get Izydora flat on the floor with her arms safely behind her back.

"As you appear to be dissatisfied with your job, I release you from all your obligations as my henchwoman. You're fired. Your belongings will get sent to you by mail."

Then I propelled my former henchwoman firmly out the door.

Now, why had the machine failed? This question got quickly put aside when it exploded.

Ah well... time to find a new hench... maybe I should call that "Claire" person we met the other day!

I went over to my cell phone (also known as Chic's radio transmitter). It lit up with "NO SIGNAL". An attempt to call Chic, on some of the more esoteric frequencies, met with no success. Turning on an FM station resulted in static. TV came out static. Something very weird was going on.

I picked up the (land-line) phone, which still worked, and called the number I had gotten from Claire. When I asked her if she wanted to be my henchwoman, she responded with an emphatic "Yes!" I arranged to meet with her in an hour at my lab. First, however, there was this machine to clean up.

So many ideas, so little time...

[SoItBegins]

SoItBegins was setting up a complex experiment when his nanobots stopped responding. A quick check of his mind showed that all frequencies of the electromagnetic spectrum (except for visible light, and gamma rays) were being blitzed by some jammer of extraordinarily high power.

"Some idiot with a Emitter, eh?" Said SoItBegins to himself as he gathered up the nanobots. They'd work if he was in physical contact, or there was a wire he could send electricity-- and commands-- through, but mostly, his abilities had just taken a bit of a dip. The quantum-entanglement link with Prime was still active. No other communication was, unless it used wires.

SoItBegins walked out of his lair, trying to home in on the source of the jamming...

[Claire]

Look, it’s the hotel. Again. This really isn’t working. I go inside, hoping to find someone who can explain why none of the streets are on this map, just as the phone rings at the counter.

“Who is calling?”

“Well, Miss Narbon, I’m afraid Claire has-“ I run over and grab the phone from him. It’s Miss Narbon, and she wants to know if I’ll work for her!

“Yes!” I’m going to work for a Narbon! I’m going to work for the daughter of Helen Beta Narbon and Dave Davenport! I’m supposed to meet her at her lab in half an hour. Wait, how do I get there?

I turn to the bemused clerk, holding up my map, and ask him how to get to the address Miss Narbon gave me. He looks even more confused.

“Miss, I don’t know where you got that, but it’s a map of Australia.” I guess that explains the ‘Australia’ in big letters at the top. I had wondered about that. He hands me an appropriate map and tells me where to go. I grab the cooler from the basement, (I can probably leave it in Miss Narbon’s –Mistress’s!- lab.) and set off.

[Professor Zobot]

"You'll go no further, pardner!" Two men stood in front of SiB just as he left his lair. The former was a bit strange in that he wore a 10 gallon hat along with normal clothing. Lining his arms and legs were metal armor plates and electrical components that connected to a device strapped to his back, which hummed.

The other man was wholly unremarkable, except for how he almost didn't really seem worth noticing until he spoke up. "Um, C-calvin, he hasn't actually g-gone very far." The other man stood behind Calvin, in his shadow. Hanging from his neck and shoulders was a small laptop computer.

The first man's lip twitched. "Shut. Up. Spencer. Go hide in the bushes and be prepared to support me if necessary. I got this." He raised his arm and pointed at Begins. "I'm callin' you out, bud! A duel, right here, right now!" He frowned and turned his head and keeping a close eye on So It Begins.

[Wallycaine]

Lagos perked up. Time to go. But first, leave a note.

"Thanks, Professor. I really needed to see him. You have a great day, and stay well. -Lagos"

Wally got up and kissed Chic on the cheek. "Hey, Em, I'm going out for the day. Lagos has got something cooked up on the outside of town, but it'll probably be pretty boring. You have fun keeping an eye on that cousin of yours. He'll probably try and break his other arm if you aren't careful. Take care."

Time to prepare.

[Desius]

~Des

Des grinned. "So-o-o," He drawled, "what brings a Gov Op to my neck of the woods?"
"But before you answer," he waved before Xerox could speak, "We have a serious crisis that I could use your help with."
"Oh?" chuckled Xerox.
"Somebody stole my pants, and I want to get the hell out of here."

~Mister.
"First off, let me explain, Doctor Tinker."
Mister took a sip before leaning forward, eyes drilling into Andrew's.
"What you have there is irrefutable proof, what you've always dreamed, of a conspiracy that ruined your life. Make no mistake, you were not the intentional target of such an act, you were merely an unavoidable... consequence."
"I read your files." Andrew said, "I know-"
"No, Doctor Tinker, you do not understand them or we would not be having this conversation." Mister sighed, taking another sip, "Suffice to say, I would greatly prefer you to let me finish speaking before you ask me a question. Rest assured, I will answer you everything. All that I know about the conspiracy, your father's murder, my own actions during and surrounding that event or any other event you may ask me of."
"Now. Where to begin?" he smiled, a cold grimace. "First let me finish explaining."
"In your case was a photo, one of the few I have permitted to allow of myself. You also recieved a time and date. Here and now, of my current location. Rest assured, I have seen to it that you have Carte Blanche. Anything you do in regards to this manner will simply... dissappear. If you are in custody, you walk. If the police investigate you and come across anything involving me, that investigation has come to an end. Anything you do to me will not be penalized by the law."
"Wait, wait," Andrew sputtered, "You've just told me to kill-"
"I have done no such thing Doctor Tinker, I have merely seen to it that this matter remains between us. Your choices are your own, there is no outside factors except your own desicions here. Now please, try your drink," Mister waved at the untouched coffee, "I assure you the service here is phenominial."
Andrew looked at his cup.
"Please stop looking like a deer lost in the headlights Doctor, I do not condone the use of poisons or other such things. I have no need of them. The truth is my weapon here. And I suspect you shall find it has a sinister edge to it indeed."
Mister took a final sip, and set his empty cup aside.
"May I continue?"

[That Guy]

(She won't get rid of me that easily. No No No. She'll pay. I will kill her or die in the attempt.) Izydora put together a machine out of some parts she had collected. (I know what went wrong with my Destabilizer and I won't make that mistake again.)

"Hehehehaha! Muahahahehe! Hehehe!"

Thaddeus

He rose from the makeshift bed the Cheshire Cat had made for him. He was all healed up. Even if bullets can't kill you they still sure hurt like hell.

He cleaned himself up and went outside. It was a marvelous day. The sun was shining. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. And the morning birds were singing sweetly in the breeze.

Thad turned to walk to his apartment. He waved to the vaguely walnut-like man on the path. The Walnut-man raised a shiny ice cream spoon and charged at him.

"Aww Man. It was going to be such a nice day," said Thad. He dodged out of the Walnut-man's path and pulled two guns from his coat.

He fired at the ground in front of his attacker.

Slllllip Crash

Walnut-Man slid across the ice. Rolling to his feet, he saw stars as Thad's fist slammed into his face.

When Doug awoke he was tied to a tree.

"Why did you attack me?" asked Thaddeus.

"I'll never tell," replied Doug.

Whack Crunch Pow Bam Smash

"Master told me to eliminate you. You're the only unpredictable element left," said Doug.

"Who's your master?" asked Thad.

"You'll have to kill me."

"You're not worth it. I'll just have to figure it out myself then. Don't move," said Thad. "I might need you later."

He left Doug tied in the woods. As he walked away he thought, (I'd better make sure no one else can try to find me.)

[Professor_Tinker]

~Andrew~

Andrew closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and sipped his coffee.
This... this was nothing new, really. A somewhat creepy, but cordial Villain having coffee with him. It had happened before.
If only it didn't feel so different. He felt... a little out of his depths.
But that was only because of the personal connection.

"Please, continue. I won't interrupt again." he assured him, managing a cordial smile.

~Xerox and Fredric~
Xerox laughed, searching his pockets.
"Oh, I feel you. Broke my leg last summer- and if you think *this* place is bad, just picture a Gov. Hospital. This mamzer nurse was on my ass- looked like a Russian bodybuilder in a skirt." he said sympathetically, finally pulling out two small solid squares.

He shook them out with a flick of his wrist, transforming them into a plain black shirt and a pair of trousers.

"Here, take these for now- God Bless the inventor of Emergency Pants." he said, tossing the clothing to him and politely turning around.

"An; as fer gettin' ya outta here, we c'n do that easy- Greenhead over there could getcha outta Arkham wi' that badge of his." said Fredric wryly, helping Desius get dressed.

"Watch the mouth, boychick." snapped Xerox, self-conciously smoothing his hair down.

Desius chuckled, giving Fredric a quick half-hug.
"You... you okay?" he asked carefuly, looking him over.

"... yeh. Mostly. It;s kinda hard t' think without stuff gettin'... bigger, but s'not like I don' know how ta stop thinkin'." admitted Fredric, smirking slightly.

"... sheesh, i guess you two really *are* family. That;s what I'm here about. See, I'm the (Unwilling) Commander of M, where the kid there works with his pappy. And he's such a nice boy, he came in today to get registered as a Active SMRD. And suddenly, he tells me that after all these years, he actually *has* a secondary DNA detonator- that is, you. So I need to verify." he explained bluntly, while they walked out of the hospital. Surprisingly, no one even *tried* to stop them- being a MIB lookalike tended to hit peoples Weirdness Censor juuust enough to not want to get involved.

Desius blinked, glancing at Fredric.
"Well, yeah, I guess I am... but what's the problem?"

"Are you *kidding* me?! The *problem* is that he's a meshuggener! And all of this time we've been assuming that he's pure tinker- which made it so that we could easily track and guess his ability and traits. If you are in fact, his Second Pappy, then that's a whole 'nother story and a pain in my tuckus. Because I need to practically re-register the kid, scope out *you*, and get this all filled. And don't even ask- you *have* to know. The Tinker family is an experimental made family- with a *very* interesting set of genetics. Genetics designed to take *the best* traits of whoever is contributing to the kid- which means this boychick isn't just your kid. He;s all of *your* best traits and *Andrew's* best traits, whatever that happens to be."

[chicgeek]

"What do you mean he's checked out?" Chic sighes, exasperated. "How long ago-and who picked him up?"
She drums her fingers on the counter while the receptionist gives her a plastic smile.
"I'm sorry, Miss, but I can't give out personal information. Have a nice day!"
Chic narrows her eyes, and leans closer. "Listen carefully-that's my cousin I'm talking about. I ought to be on file as next of kin. And take a good look at the labcoat-you don't really want to get on a mad scientist's bad side, do you?" Her smile has become positively icy.
The hapless clerk blanches.
"Uh...under the circumstances, since you're family...I don't have a specific time on here, but it was this morning. Let me call the nurse on duty and see what else I can find out." Suddenly anxious to help, she starts making calls.
"Okay, I'm sorry, miss-I don't know their names, but Nurse Joy says he left with a, um, punk kid and a man with...green hair?"
Chic smiles brightly-which somehow doesn't make the desk jockey any calmer. "There! Was that so hard?" Fredric-out and about already? And the green haired man has to be that Xerox character she's heard about.
Chic pulls out her cell phone. Darn it, if she hadn't taken the time to make cookies this morning, she would have caught him. But what the hey, she figured Des would appreciate them after enduring hospital food.
The phone's not working.
Allright, radio transmitter.
The same. Even the oddball frequencies.
Which shouldn't be possible.
Suddenly in a hurry, Chic rushes back to the lab. Des'll show up there eventually, and she has some experiments to run.

Okay, the land line works. But that's it. She makes a call.
"Hey, Jess-I can't believe I didn't get the machine."
"Nerd girl! What's up?"
"Dunno. I want you to do me a favor."
"Okay, but I'm pretty far away right now."
"That's perfect. Something's blocking wireless transmissions here. I want you to use your cell, and make calls to business in a particular radius. Start here, and expand the circle. I want to find out how large a geographical area is being blocked."
"Sheesh, is that all? Yeah, I'll burn through my minutes for you, and call you back. Anything else?"
"Nah-that'll be plenty. Thanks, punk."
"Anytime."

With that data, she can make a start on determining how strong the blocking device is, and perhaps narrow down the location. A map is tacked to the wall, awaiting pins. In the meantime, Chic is carefully rereading some old, yellowed notes. Studying Tesla always inspires her.

[Professor Zobot]

-Chicgeek's baselab-

The storm grows stronger, as light rain worsens to heavy rain and strong winds. Dark clouds cover the sky...

Suddenly, an explosion rocks the other side of the building, and Chicgeek's notes are knocked to the floor. From outside the room she hears a loud scraping sound. Looking into the next room over, she saw a strange sight.

A familiar, disembodied, mechanical arm, crawling through a smoldering hole in a wall of her house. It is followed by another, and then another. The fourth one crawls through gripping an old-fashioned tape recorder, and as a fifth one enters, it turns its palm sensors up and points at her. "Dudes! It's, like, that girl we're supposed to blast! Let's bomb her up!"

The second arm turns and shakes its finger. "Wait brah! Start the recording first! We're not supposed to start trashing the place before we start the recording, or else she'll get mad at us!"

The third shook it's fist slowly, reminiscent of a nodding movement. "Oh, right! And we totally don't want her mad at us! That'd be gnarly!" It detatched rockets from it's length and jetted over, to press a button on the tape recorder. From the machine started playing a prerecorded voice:

"Bonjour! Je suis Mistral! Ca va?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-In an Undisclosed Location-

"Phase one is beginning as planned, but slightly behind schedule. Tell Mistral to up the power input to her machine by 23%. That should increase the severity of the storm enough to put us back on schedule."

"Affirmative."

"It's boring here...Arkives, do you know any good jokes?"

"Insufficient data."

"...You know, Arkives. You may be nonsentient, but it wouldn't delete you to show some personality."

[SoItBegins]

I blinked. A duel?! Well, if he wanted trouble, then he'd get it. But first, it was time to try low-tech (that armor looked thick.)

Picking up a rock, I threw it accurately, knocking off the duelist's 10-gallon hat. "What exactly do you want to duel me over? I don't need any time wasters."

[Dr. Amino]

"I'm worried, ma'am."
*Amino, who is currently making festive tinfoil hats for the fearsome robotic arm drones, replies* "Relax, Ingrid. We've got the arm drones, the transmogrifyer ray, Holy Hand Grenades, the Martian Pie-O-Matic, an assortment of explosives, chemicals, some blue fuzzy stuff from the back of the fridge, and my 'secret weapon' in case something goes wrong. We'll break into the base, trash some stuff, and be gone before anyone notices."
"That's not what I meant, ma'am."
"What do you mean, then?"
"Mister is late."
"So?"
"Doesn't that seem a little sinister to you, ma'am?"
"Maybe he got caught in traffic."
"Or maybe he's plotting against us."
*laughs* "Why would he do that?"
"Ma'am, remember the email we got from Rob Arm? It described Mister as a dangerous mercenary who hates Mads. I doubt he's very fond of the fact that he has to work with us."
*Dana snorts to herself*
"What's so funny, ma'am?"
"Oh, please." *mocks* "He's a 'dangerous mercenary'? From a 'dark, shadowy conspiracy', I'm sure." *laughs* "I know the type. He's probably a softie underneath, who grows petunias and lives with a wife named Missus out in the country."
"Somehow I highly doubt that, ma'am."

[Professor Zobot]

Calvin frowned as his hat flew off his head. "Aw, I liked that hat. If'n Sprint Mail hadn't told me that wasn't comin' at me, I woulda thought you were trying to hurt meh." He crossed his arms and turned his head slightly away from SiB. "Don't reckon I hafta tell you mah motives, but jess know I was sent ta' make you bleed today, 'fore you get that network of yours back up. Of course, I coulda used yella injun tactics and snunk up on you or sum'thin, but where's the fun in that?" He pointed at SiB.

"Um, but..."

"Spence, I told ya to stay outta this! Go play with that laptop or something." Calvin sighed. "Jess 'cause we're riding together on this one don't make us pardners." He listened as Spencer turned and started walking off, vanishing in the brush near SiB's house. Then, two small parts of the legplates of Calvin's armor detached and shot up into the air. His arms shot out, catching both of them as they unfolded... shifting into weapons vaguely reminiscent of six-shooters. "A'course, just because I'm here ta hurt you doesn't mean I'm gonna go all out. This is the outdated model of Sprint Mail, aftar all."

He took a step back and narrowed his eyes. "You'll pay fer the loss of my hat, hombre!"

[chicgeek]

Chic smoothly grabs her notes and stuffs them into an inside pocket.
Next, she powers up her personal force shield. Watching the five bickering robot arms, the phrase 'armed and dangerous' can't help but flash across her mind.
And who is this Mistral anyway?
That girl we're supposed to blast? Trash the place? Suddenly she's glad Des isn't home.
Well, maybe it won't be as easy as they think...
Cooly she pulls out a blaster, dials it to a particular setting, aims-fires!
She's suddenly glad she added that setting to convert metal into rust, during the redneck wars, when the three of them had holed up temporarily in that paper factory.
And-nothing happens. Darnit! That weapon's radio based!
The arms appear bemused. "Like, maybe she forgot to load it?"
Grr!!!
The recording continues. "You have an hour, ma petite, then-"

Chic lobs a concussion grenade, and slaps a button. As the lights go out, she ducks inside a secret passageway. Scuttling along inside the walls like a rat, she grits her teeth at the sound of destruction. She opens a tiny hatchway in the kitchen to see Mecha's wrapped part of himself around the coffeepot. Like he's...protecting it?
She whispers-"Don't draw attention to yourself, or they'll blow you to smithereens. Use your escape route if you hear the self destruct signal. And send part of yourself outside to watch for Des!"-and immediately closes it again.
She has infrared lenses and more on her goggles, so the darkness isn't a problem. Hmm, better assume the robots do too. And she's more of a heat source than they...
Dammit, there goes the china cabinet! And...crap, that crash came from the lab! They've split up. And most of the triggers she has in place have been rendered inert.
Chic sprints through the narrow passageway, looks through the peephole-then quietly steps into the hall, and slams shut the lab door.
"Hey! She's over here!" She frantically spins a select few of the multiple gears decorating the door, while the door shudders from the arm's blow.
Before the arm inside can fire a missle, the room explodes.
Chic is knocked to the floor before she can duck back inside. Smoke billows out from the doorway, making her cough. Hopefully, that's one...
A blackened, bent arm flies out from the wreckage.
"nNnOoo ffFaIrRR! Noww iI'mm all gnnarRlY!"
Mecha lashes out-grabs two fingers with one strong tendril, two with another, and makes a wish. The weakened arm is ripped in half. Mecha rips it into confetti, then returns to his pose as innocent houseplant.
Okay, time to start playing hardball...
She barely has time to duck back inside the passage before four arms come whooshing down the hall.
"She got George!"
"No!"
"We'll tear her limb from limb!"
Chic engages a small gear. Which clicks onto a larger one. And another...
A door slides open, and the clockwork beasts come forth. She hasn't needed them since she had to capture Des for his fitting. They ferociously attack the arms, buying Chic a little more time. My, they're putting up a splendid fight!
She hates to do this, but she's running out of options.
A base wide EMP burst is set off.
If that doesn't slow them down...well, there's always the self destruct. Take them down with the base. But only if there's no other option.
What was the rest of that message again? It's still playing. Alouette? Frere Jaques? What kind of a sick Mad is she up against, anyway?

[Desius]

Chic dodged into Des's room, as a missle streaked down the hall at her. The explosion ripped the door from the hinges as Chic dove to grab Des's spare lightning gun.
Electricity arced into air tossing one of the armbots across the floor.
"nNnOoo ffFaIrRR!!" whined the bot, spasming on the ground. "tTtHaAattT ttTiIccKklleEsSs!"
The gun beeped as the battery started charging.
"Sigh. You just can't do anything right can you?"
Chic whipped around, relief on her face.
"Des! Thank god! We're under..."
Something was off.
Des shrugged, adjusting his mechanical gloves. "Really, you're useless without me."
"SsSoOorRrryY BbbOosSss." The arm beeped, curling into a fist as it sparked.
"Des?" Chic paused, looking more closely at her henchman. He looked like Des, almost a twin, except paler, with long hair tied back.
"No." grinned the man, "I'm better."
Desecration snapped his fingers, the sonic boom shattering the glass throughout the building. Sound waves buffeted the wall collapsing brick and morter as Chic was tossed outside.
"Oops." Desecration laughed, climbing out the hole and hanging over the edge.

[Claire]

Yes! I found the lab! Navigation is *tough.* Miss Narbon's not here yet, and the door is locked. Fun as it would be to blow the lock off with one of these dynamite-things Dr. Smith gave me, I really don't want to leave a bad impression on the first day. Of course, depending on Miss Narbon, that might make a good impression, but dramatic entrances and exits are tough when the door's a molten blob of metal on the floor. On the other hand, I have hairpins. I always wanted to know if it was actually possible to unlock something with hairpins...

[chicgeek]

Chic staggers to her feet. Thank tesla her force shield held! That man-my god, now what's going on? If Des's double is as competent as he is...she'll still kick his butt.
She turns the disorienting ray on him at maximum power.
Dammit, the wireless blackout's affecting it! And the storm's gotten worse.
Chic runs, triggering the self destruct as she goes. The base is wrecked anyway-this'll take care of those other four robot arms at least. She has no illusions about taking out the anti-Des, but having a building you're climbing down spectacularly explode under you should be a delay. Plus the storm is helping hide her.
Where to go? Wally's out of town, they'll expect her to run to Andrew's-
Jane. Make her way to Jane's base. Regroup. Then, retaliate.