Comics by Shaenon II

[runingwolfin]

Wolfin gave a snort at his reply. She decided against making another comment, as he did have her food to handle. She decided to change how she acted for a while, especially if she was going to become a regular. The little box gave a little 'bzerpt' Sound as she tinkered with it. It shocked her, and her fur was now standing on end with the electrical currents. "Err.. that can't be right..." She kept looking at Gamsey's food, and at her little block. She knew mads were, well mad, but she was not used to one quite like Gamsey.

[Desius]

"So....?" Gamsey said watching the child dig into his treat and the wolf... well wolf down her food.
"Tell me a little about yourself."
He picked up a glass and stared wiping it down, settling against the counter.

Joe rolled his eyes. Gamsey was doing the bartender shtick, again. He moved to watch the counter better. Gamsey had a tendency to give free drinks out, not a problem normally, but when you have a clearly underage kid and a wolf we wasn't sure could handle her liquor, he knew it was best to stop him before he mixed up something... unique*.


* Gamseys last drink, the ohmygodimdrunkjustlookingatit, was incredibly potent. It was made with counterclock wine. Rare grapes that grew backwards in time. You get the hangover before you drank it. Everyone that day at the bar was feeling so lousy that they drank more to get over it. Gamsey considered it one of his greatest successes.

[runingwolfin]

Wolfin finished up her plate before she replied. "I used to be a full human, My parents never liked me and my experiments, and the kid in school used to make fun of me for blowing up the chem lab... That's about as close as I got to a good education... Then my parents set me up for an experiment that they didn't tell me about until I was at the lab for the experiment. Needless to say, it was a failure." Wolfin turned to look out the door. "HEY! is that BlazerFlary out there?" Wolfin thought she saw blazerflary, but wasn't sure.

[Desius]

"Blazerflarey!" Howled Gamsey, crushing his glass in his hand.
"Why that scoundrel, How Dare he pUt SaLt oN MY PRECIOUS.... he paused for a moment, pain blossoming.
"Oh." Gamsey said, looking down.
"Bob?" he called sweetly.
"Ya boss?"
"Call the ambulance, I did it again."
"Jeez, Boss," Bob tisked, jumping behind the bar and grabbing a clean rag. "Put down your drink before you rant, or at least crush something not made of glass."
"Hrmph." Joe agreed, lifting the phone as Bob wrapped Gamsey's hand.

[runingwolfin]

Wolfin stood up, and backed away slowly. "Note to self, never put anything on this guy's food..." She then walked back over to the stool where she was sitting a moment before, and sat back down. "So, I take you do this often enough to have 911 on speed dial, am I right?" She leaned onto the bar while placing her right paw/hand over the left one. She decided she might need to be careful before she points someone out to anyone here. She would need to learn quickly.

[JanetTor]

A young woman dressed in ragged clothing sits against the concrete wall of a barber shop. Beside her sprawled legs is a sign and a chipped ceramic mug. The sign reads “PLZ HELP, K THNX.” The mug holds one whole quarter.

“My name is Alice, if anybody’s interested! Anybody? Anyone at all!” the woman shouts, clearly disgruntled at the cheap passersby. ‘Alice’ slumps back against the wall and sighs. She’s begged in worse places. Still, it’s her first day back in this city, and she’s anxious to be Janitor for awhile. She wants to meet the local Mads; seek out some cheap, greasy cuisine; taunt a few cops.

But it is just her first day. Better to wait, she thinks. Not many people pay attention to the homeless. Observe. Try not to dwell on the fact that not many people pay money to the homeless, either.

Alice fiddles with something in her pocket, and sighs again.

[Professor Zobot]

(Hmm...it's kinda unfair to leave JaneTor waiting with out anyone to hang out with... I think it's time to resurrect a little liked and not particularly demanded character from the pile.)

The begger girl who announced herself as "Alice" sat against the wall of the Barber shop for a while, watching people come and go without giving her money.

Then she saw a large number of them running in one direction, their faces masks of panic. Shortly after they passed, she could see why: Tromping down the street was a large, multicolored robot-ish THING comprised mostly of Lego, with a little boy riding on top, cackling madly. As he passed Alice he turned his mech to face her, and pointed a large plastic hand holding a foam-dart gun at her head. "Gimme yer money!" He shouted to the woman dressed as a begger, proving once more that even smart people can be remarkably dumb.

[JanetTor]

(Thank yooouuu! ^^)

A slow smile creeps across Alice's dirty face. It's not a cop, to be sure. But she doesn't have to worry about Janitor's reputation. She's free to do whatever. She. Likes.

"Okay, here," she shouts, tossing the quarter into the air. It's kinda funny to watch the mecha scramble to catch the tiny shining dot, but Alice is already moving for a nearby fire escape. As the kid starts crowing about victory gumballs, she rummages in her many pockets.

"'Liquid sentinence'?" she reads, selecting a small black box. "Must be one of Derek's." She's never tried it before, but what's being Mad without a few risks? Quickly, she undoes the clasp. Inside is a sparkly clear liquid that looks all unicorns and emoticon innocence. "Definitely one of Derek's," she murmurs, and pours it on the fire escape.

The fire escape stretches like a cat. With a squeal, it tears itself away from the building it was once attached to.

Unfortunately, it only has one 'leg,' and, after a brief attempt to balance itself on the fire escape ladder, it tips over, bringing down the mecha as well. Alice climbs out of the wreckage, dazed.

[JanetTor]

"Kid? Are you okay?" Alice calls, anxious. She's never done anything on that scale before... Then she shakes her head, trying to think logically. What if the kid realized she'd attacked him? Weapons. I need weapons.

Janet pats her pocket and her jacket bursts into flame. She shrugs out of it and flings it to the ground. Flames quickly devour the ragged cloth, making a few interesting pops, belches and minor explosions as the fire eats through the other items she'd made/stolen from Derek.

And now I'm defenseless. Think, Janet, think...!

[Professor Zobot]

The situation only gets worse... as her coat burns, she feels an uncomfortable plastic knob push up against the bottom of her jaw. Looking down, she sees a rather put-out little child holding what appears to be a toy space laser thingy. He sticks out his tongue at her. "You wrecked my Lego-Bot! You'd better say you're sorry, or else I'll shoot!"

He paused, and then added as an afterthought. "Maybe I will anyway! So you better 'pologize!"

[JanetTor]

Alice groans inwardly. Of course. There's a huge pile of broken parts behind me and if I go for it, he'll shoot me.

...How old is that kid, anyway...? Ah well, desperate times...

"I'm sorry for wrecking your, erm, Lego-Bot. But you see, I'm homeless, and that was my last quarter -" Her voice turns wheedling, but the gun prods her slightly. Alice gulps, the movement painful. The kid's having none of it.

"All right, just gimme a bit to make peace with the deities of my choice, okay? Then you can shoot."

Slowly, with her hands raised above her head, Alice sinks to her knees. She closes her eyes and throws her head back theatrically. "Oh Lords of the Earth!" she intones, taking a peek at the kid. He seems vaguely intrigued. "I call upon you to witness this trial of moral and financial interest!" She's losing him; the kid probably gets philosophic-babbled all the time. "If my cause is right and just, then let his gun jam, let him not be able to shoot me. Otherwise, what the heck."

Alice opens her eyes, stands up. There are a few tiny specks crawling unnoticed across the kid's out-stretched arm. "All right," she says slowly, deliberately. "You can shoot now."

"Only if you want to, of course," she adds hurriedly.

[Yongkusumo]

[I'm really sorry if I posted this in the wrong thread]

"'Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo' is actually a grammatically correct sentence."

I looked at my friend, Butch. He dressed the same way as me, a simple black trousers, white shirt with red tie. The only thing he lacked is the suitcase I'm carrying. Shut up, Butch. He shut up immediately.

I look around. Man, this town sure had its share of madness. I'm pretty sure I saw TWO broken headquarters. I'm pretty sure I've seen a zeppelin. I'm pretty sure I saw a giant thing made of colorful blocks run amok the town, scaring people. Then it fell from climbing a fire escape.

"Yay for gravity!" Butch said.

I shut him up again. I am in no need to care about such thing. So I entered a restaurant. The inside of it somehow had been frozen in time. There was a...werewolf of some sort, and some kind of cream. Probably ice cream. I left the restaurant and went to a cafe, located quite far from the Restaurant That is Frozen in Time.

I sat down, and ordered coffee. As I opened my suitcase, I asked, what do you want, Butch?

He didn't answer. The waitress looked around before asking me, "Uh, sir? Do you come with your friend?"

Ah, it must be that. I'm sorry lady, but my friend, Butch, is extremely shy and tend to hide whenever he saw someone except me coming. I've been trying to bring him to the psychiatrist, but he always disappeared. Just bring me the coffee, thank you.

The waitress looked at me weirdly before leaving me. As soon as she turned her back, Butch appeared. It looked like he was hiding below the table. He asked, "So what is your plan here?"

Ah, of course. My plan is simple: I simply have to act like a hero. You see, there are a lot of mad scientists here, plotting destruction of each other, allying themselves briefly before backstabbing them...in the back. I plan no such annoying matter. I will simply act like I sided with the masses, and hold off any attacks done by the mad scientist to the town. When I gained their trust, I shall do away with them. I will turn them into a salamander into something. They tend to get better if I turned them into a newt.

"Perfect plan, Yonk," Butch said. Of course it was a perfect plan! I have been planning it sinc-

"Here's your coffee, sir."

Thank you, lady. I drank it, before quickly spitting it out. The waitress is surprised. Butch disappeared again. This coffee is BITTER, lady! How dare you provide such abhorrence of nature to my fine and delicate sense of taste!

I tend to screw grammar and vocabulary when I get mad.

Ah, but this trouble shall be repaired post-haste! I picked up a vial of White Powder of Wonderful Potions, and dropped it into the black, soulless matter in the state of liquid, positioned directly facing me in still pose. As the powder fused with the black liquid of unspeakable bitterness, I lift the cup up, and pour its content down my throat.

It was sweet now. Not to mention incredibly hot.

I dropped the cup, put some amount of money, like ten bucks, or something? Money didn't really matter to me right now. Take the tip, lady, even though I'm sure you didn't deserve it.

As soon as I leave the cafe, Butch appeared behind me. Being angrily mad and madly angry, I spoke to him, in the most condescending voice I could muster, stop doing that or I'll do the same things I do to Liam! This terrified him greatly, and he nodded away.

You see, Liam is my talking teddy bear, present from my mother when I was 7. I thought he was my best friend, but the moment I stepped into the psychiatrist's office, he always disappeared. I have to listen to the ramblings of the old and ugly (or was it 'ugly and old'?) man about things like 'imaginary,' and 'loneliness.'

Finally, Liam make me so mad I started to ignore every bit of his speech. By the time I was 9, he was gone forever from my life. Butch somehow know this story, which save the troublesome task of telling the terrifying tale twice.

I entered the Restaurant That is Frozen in Time again. Time to turn on my Time Machine in a non-sexual way.

I may or may not have a smile on my face.

[Jane Narbon]

No, you've posted it in the right thread. Welcome!

[JanetTor]

Yaaay, a Practice-mate! You are most definitely in the right thread, fella m'dear, though there's also a sign-up queue to introduce yourself in. I look forward to foiling your plans. Er. Actually... my character doesn't want to rule the world, so I guess you're good. I look forward to foiling your attempt on her life then. ^^

[Yongkusumo]

[Yay rightness!]

Time is difficult to explain. Everyone seemed to think it was a simple stream, like a river.Well, they were not a mad scientist hell-bent in destroying teddy bears and towels (they are INDEED the most important thing in traveling) like me. Time is much more complex. Imagine, if you will, a matter shaped like a ball with many protrusions. So it wasn't exactly shaped like a ball. Imagine this matter spinning, but it changes direction time after time. One time it spins west to east, then suddenly it spins northeast to west. The change is completely random. Imagine time, as two rubber bands tied around this ball. This rubber band also covered the protrusions, so it was just a matter of time before it get cut and drop to the ground. Yet there is also a possibility of the rubber band stick even closer to the ball. The rubber band also had a chance of intersecting with each other, and I think every mad scientists hearing this explanation will understand that I have no idea what time is about.

I have two philosophies in my life: 'The amount of explanation is inversely proportional to the amount of my knowledge regarding a subject,' and 'start low.'

"If my cause is right and just, then let his gun jam, let him not be able to shoot me. Otherwise, what the heck."

I heard someone prayed to God.

Now, regarding God...I've published a 900-page essay titled 'Is God Is?"

I left the Time Machine and went outside. I saw a woman amidst the wreckage of colorful blocks. A kid is pointing his toy gun at her. I analyzed the scene. There is only two possibilities:

One, the kid is the owner of the colorful blocks, and the woman is somehow responsible for its destruction. Sad and angry, the kid is using his toy gun to threaten the woman. Perhaps due to the sheer amount of animation the kid is watching, he believe that his gun is real.

That, or it was a Hamlet scene goes awry. Perhaps the blocks were the curtains, the woman was that man hiding behind the curtain, the kid is that guy whose dad is killed by that one guy who ended up dying in the end, and the pistol is the sword. Tsk, today's director and their 'impressions' on classic works.

"In a Freudian sense, the second scenario is the most logical one," Butch said. I agree with him. This could be my first foray into the fields of fretending to be friends with the fopulation of the fillage. Fantastic.

I tend to screw alliteration in case of emergency.

I opened my Suitcase, and pulled a gun. This was no normal gun; it was completely black. And invisible. Everyone would think I was simply pointing my finger at them, but I was in fact giving them chance to say, "Yes, I do feel lucky."

I call this gun 4Kids Censor. This way, no kids could see the horror that is guns before their puberty. I pulled the trigger, aiming it at the kid. Being a kid actor, I'm pretty sure his acting is lousy, and I'm pretty sure surfboarders killed cannibalistic baby clowns.

I love me some non-sequitur in the napalm-smelling morning.

The beam from my 4Kids Censor hit the kid, straight in the head.

"Headshot!" Butch said. I strike him, and he counter struck me. Of course, he missed.

The kid fell down. I, of course, do not kill him. I need to be kind so I could be accepted as a hero.

I walked to the woman. Are you okay, lady?

[Any references to any famous philosophers/smart guys/good jokes/theorems/works are in fact, total and utter lies]

[JanetTor]

'Alice' waits for the kid to pull the trigger. He seems like the type to test divine intervention, and she can't wait to see the look on his face when the gun jams - thanks to some local dust mites. As she expects, the shot never comes, but neither does a look of shock and terrible realization. Because before the kid can do anything, he is knocked off his feet by some sort of beam.

Talk about your divine intervention! she thinks, eyes wide. Just when you think you've got it all rigged in your favor...

"Are you okay, lady?" There's a man walking towards her. He's dressed pretty decently. Very clean. Huh. I bet he's got some money to spare a poor homeless woman, Alice thinks before Janet's logic kicks in. Huh. I bet he's the one who shot the kid for me. Probably Mad, then. Definitely good. A hero...?

"Yeah," she finally mumbles. "Thanks a lot, sir. I dunno what I woulda done if you... if you hadn't..." Her eyes fill with tears. It's crucial to cry when testing heroes. How they react reveals who they are, whether the brainless jock or the closet nerd, the antihero or the corporate spokesman. Now, who are you...?

At her feet, the kid snorts vaguely and murmurs what sounds like, "You hadda plan all along..." Alice starts sobbing to cover up anything incriminating the kid might try to say.

[Yongkusumo]

Meta-thinking and common sense are common enemies. Like communism and capitalism. Like manga and anime. Like HD-DVD and Blu-Ray. Like one thing and another. You know, that and that.

On one hand, like...my right one, this poorly poor woman is crying. This effectively meant the scene was not from Hamlet. She was terrified of the (possibly) midget gun-owner, and is happy that a man of superfluous handsomeness come to save her, like a big dang hero.

On the other hand, this woman is crying. She could use her feminine charms to charm me, and then she'll use me like a dominatrix master that she is! I must not be charmed and affected! Must resist!

So while my left hand was screaming 'ESCAPE!' like crazy, my right hand was dreaming romantic comedy plots. Which one should I obey?

Why? My right leg, of course!

The decision to trust this lady had too many effects. For example, I might have to see her again. In the other hand, she could help me in making childish plans to conquer the world later. Good god, I have too many hands. I have to think this many times over! If only Butch were here. That shy bustard really annoyed me sometimes.

"Wait," she said, amidst her cries. I ignored her.

My name is Yongkusumo!

Hot dang. Why the heck do I tell her my name? Now she could track me down! I'll (well, and Butch) be shot down in the head by the police! Of course, if that's the way it supposed to happen, then I'll have to plant clues regarding my family who was trapped in ancient burial grounds. With that clues in mind, the woman will surely search the burial grounds, until she found my 'family', which is actually my dummy-like bomb. She goes down in fireworks. But then, her sidekick, who will avenge her, will search for my REAL family, and then killed them for real. Of course, at least one of my sisters would survive, and then proclaim war against the sidekick and his family. The battle between our families would later be the basis to a famous work which will be interpreted by historians later as an allegory for a two-winged purple elephant who goes too close to the sun.

Dang me and my Xanatos Gambit.

I went back to the Restaurant That is Frozen in Time, take back my Time Machine, and pulled out my Gate Generator. I turned it on.

I think it malfunctions somehow. I may or may not have two sets of extra hands.

[There will be chances that Yongkusumo will be unable to reply for today and tomorrow. If it does happen, patience will be needed.]

[Professor Zobot]

The kid, having been blindsided by a ray of odd design, stood up, feeling fairly strange. The urge to fight duels with cards and long-running conversations felt strong with him.

He sniffs and looks over at his Lego-mech. "Bwaaa... You guys won this time, but I'm gonna make you cry next time!" Scooping up his little shrink ray, he turned tail and began running away down the street, sniffling.

[JanetTor]

And then Alice is alone. She has no idea what to think of the hero, this... Yongkusumo. He's not overconfident, he's certainly not an antihero. He seems... good. Rational enough to recognize that when a lady starts crying, she doesn't always mean it. But is he rational enough to recognize her when she's Janitor...? I'll have to be careful. Keep an eye on him, Alice thinks.

And as for the kid...

"So who is he?" she whispers to the ground. The answer comes quickly - his name is Timmy. And his room alone is host to about six times the usual number of dust mites. Alice sighs. She'll have to be careful not to anger them.

Luckily, Alice is now free to peruse a massive stack of Legos, metal bars, and the smoldering remains of her beloved jacket. "Can you believe they just left all this valuable trash lying around?" she asks no one in particular.

Plans fill her head. She's thinking guns. Timmy had one. Yongkusumo must have had one. She should have one. Or more. Tiny little guns. Fireproof guns. Guns that do the improbable, with a special setting for the impossible...

The woman in ragged clothes isn't quite Alice anymore. The source of her madness is Janet, and it is Janet who finds the quarter buried under an old SNES system and Lego heads painted like skulls and mummies. She considers it a moment, then tosses it away, already moving for a red Lego brick.

"Hehehehe..."

[Professor Zobot]

"Waaa...stupid meanies!" Timmy ran into his room, then into the secret laboratory of his room, and then into the secret playroom of the secret laboratory of his room.

He felt frustrated. How dare they break his toys! Such jerks... of course, there wasn't anything wrong, of course. He'd make them cry.

But first he'd have some work to do.

In the darkness, he began to WIND. Little metal keys twisted in his hands.

Not much longer now... not much longer until his wind up army hunted down those bullies with extreme prejudice!

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEE!"

[JanetTor]

Alice emerged from the small hill of damaged robot parts and once-sentinent fire escape limbs. She blinked. "Hey there, officer. Wanna join me? Plenty of pretty twisty things for everyone!" Okay, so she's still a little loopy. But she's got a gun now! And a hero-tracker. And a new jacket - odd that, since her previous jacket was reduced to ashes, and there was no cloth in the robot. And since she can't resist, she's constructing a castle with what's left.

"Are you mad?" the officer asks point-blank. His face is still soot-black and his hair still standing straight up from his last encounter with a mad, three days ago.

"Noo-ooo-ooo." She giggles. "Well, no more than the next person. And by next person I mean you, and you're definitely mad. Or you like Legos too. Ooh, ooh! I know! You want to give me money 'cuz I've got this great big castle and you don't."

"You don't -"

"It's not done yet, so you should get your taxes in now. A buck. A bargain! Come now, good sir, your government requires your monetary aid."

"I work for the government!"

"Exactly. Fine upstanding citizen like you should pay on time. Yes, yes? Yeeesss?"

"Miss," the police officer begins, sucking in his gut importantly, "I work for the city, for all the people who populate its fair and prosperous streets. Not for half-crazed ragamuffins such as yourself."

Alice cocks her head to the side. "No?" she asks in a small voice.

"No."

"You found out, didn't you?"

"Er, what?"

"That I don't have a panhandling license." She's staring at him hungrily. "I hope you don't find out. I'd have to maim you."

Half a minute later, the half-constructed castle is deserted. Alice is chasing after the policeman, shouting things like "You'll never catch me, coppers!" which make no sense in context but make Alice herself extremely happy.


((Why yes, I am taking advantage of the fact that Janet can at least pick on a hapless NPC. ^^ ))

[Professor Zobot]

It has been said that nothing is sweeter than the sound of a child's laughter.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA! MWEEEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

In Timmy's case, this is complete and utter bull.

Soon the entire suburb would be overrun with his wind-up toy army. Then he'd finally be able to ride the rides at the theme park without having to stand in line!

...and get his vengeance on those meanies that had made him cry. That too, he guessed. From the desk of his "My First Laptop" computer, he giggled fiendishly.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alice once more encountered a scene which was apparently a regularity in the vaguely defined setting she was in. Crowds of people screaming and running in a particular direction.

Then she saw what they were running from. An enormous army of diminutive tin wind-up dolls of various shapes and designs, all clutching tiny laser pistols.

One of the people running tripped, and about 12 of the creatures circled him and started zapping. "Ow! It isn't really dangerous but it sure hurts and stings! AUGH!" He squirmed and flailed about.

[JanetTor]

"Thanks for the info!" Alice has a gun in her hand, and a smile on her face. Though the dolls appear to be attacking anything that moves, she notes that there's a whole squadron moving to bring her down.

"My god! What are those things?!" The policeman stands beside her, frozen in shock. Actually, it's more likely that he can barely run after being chased for so long.

"Enemies of the state!" Alice exclaims, and then they're overrun. "You haven't run into too many Mads, have you?" she adds, stomping on several of the dolls. The rest zap their ankles mercilessly. The resulting dances of pain accidentally marry a few to the pavement.

Alice feels herself about to fall down. The policeman already has, and kindly squashed part of the horde flat for her. The lost wind-up dolls are quickly replaced, their guns grabbed by the more aggressive. This might just be a losing battle... She starts shooting. The dolls back off, then surge forward. A few start climbing her clothing, administering shots at random.

"Oh no you don't! Eat hot cha-cha slide!" Alice slides to the left and takes it back now y'all. As she criss-crosses and sashays, the wind-up dolls fall off. Less of the shots hit now that she's moving. And there's enough dolls around that every one of her shots takes at least one out of commission.

She hasn't realized yet that the army's size is also a bad thing.

[Yongkusumo]

[Wow, that's a lot of development]

Being in a place that is frozen in time is difficult to explain. The time does not freeze, but it keeps flowing, from one place to one place to one place. This place is 'frozen' in that flow, as in, in this place, while time is still going on, there isn't any difference.

Unless outsiders, those who aren't frozen in time come in and done something. Then it all goes bananas.

Why, I had six arms now! They all rip open my lovely shirt, and YONGKUSUMO ANgry. However, I have six arms. There must be some kind of an advantage I could use with these new appendages.

Relieving purposes are out of question. Holding six guns at once? I don't even have six guns. I could hold wrenches, screwdrivers, hammers, and pliers at once? I don't have that many Mechanical skills. Easier push-up? Okay, easier push-up.

Good going, you! The only advantage you could muster with six arms is easier push-up!

Maybe I'll just go to sleep.


Apparently giant footsteps-like sounds are a really good alarm. I looked at Butch. He was staring at me. Is my sleeping face that handsome or what?

"No, not in the slightest," Butch said.

I opened the door to see what was happening. There is that crying girl, attacked by what I could only interpret as fetish machines. She blasts some of them away, but there is simply too many for her.

Saving her twice? My hand screamed romantic comedy plot developments again.

But wait. She had a gun? Did she find it in a chest? Could it be that she had it from the very beginning?

Dang that woman! I will leave her to her fate. As of the rest of the fetish machine that attacked the civilians...

Say hello to my Critter Crusher, a ball-like weapon specified to hunt small, annoying objects that have any relations with a talking dog in a ghost-seeking group.

But I changed the setting. Now it pretty much ANNIHILATES any critters. I turn it on, and hundreds of holes appeared on its surface. What do these holes do? They emit green (so people could see it) blast. With the amount of holes, the amount of green blasts could easily outnumber the amount of the fetish machine.

And I have a LOT of Critter Crushers. I throw two at every direction. The sounds of explosions soon appear.

Now time to prepare my dramatic entrance.

"I'm thinking a cape, an ugly Halloween mask, and four less arms," Butch said.

[JanetTor]

((F-fetish machines...? Yongkusumo's got a bit of a dirty mind on him! But then, to heroes, or would-be heroes, I imagine damsels in distress would be a bit of a fetish - Gah! Rationalization bad! Out, vile jelly! Out! ^^ ))

"Wha-?" Alice's dancing slows. Her brain functions are returning to normal (normal for her, anyway), and logic has just pointed out that there has been a significant decrease in the number of attackers. In her pocket, the hero tracker beeps once, tentatively. Then it gains confidence and beeps insistently until Alice reaches to shut it off.

"A hero?" she murmurs. It's understandable. Massive army of diminutive toys starts shooting civilians, of course a hero's going to show up. Luckily, she's clearly not the villain here. But then Alice catches a glimpse of the hero from before. Yongkusumo, he said his name was. He appears to be arguing with something in the shadows of one of the nearby shops. He also appears to have more than the usual number of extremities.

Oooh, this could be bad. Having my cover blown on the first day? Yeesh. "Hey, thanks, man!" she calls, fluttering her eyelashes a bit. The effect is fairly disconcerting. "If this poor guy -" she nudges the unconscious policeman with her foot "-hadn't given me this gun, I would've been a goner before you could save me!" She chooses to ignore the fact that he hasn't seen fit to blast the remaining crowd around her.

Unfortunately, Alice's slowed movement allows the machines to zap her accurately again. One of her ankles gives way and she falls to the ground. The gun lands too far away for her to reach it. "Ow ow OW! Motherfudgin'- Hey, can I get a little help please?"

[Professor Zobot]

"Aww..." Timmy frowned. "That guy's breaking all my toys! Let's see how he likes it!" With a joystick in his hand, he directed a platoon of wind-up toys towards Yong's location, using the entire platoon to carry a high-powered tazer he had them swipe from a local store.

With one of them, he flipped the activation switch on, and then had them charge him with it. If they managed to strike a hit, he'd be taken out long enough for them to drag him to Timmy's room. He giggled a bit. He'd have to prepare a suitably unpleasant trap for the man...

[Yongkusumo]

[A little bit of dirty mind here and there won't hurt, right?]

"Hey, can I get a little help please?"

Nope, lady, you got it coming to you. I shall not, will not save you again.

Ah, who am I kidding? I threw one Crusher at her direction. This Crusher is my first one, and it's not as destructive or durable as the ones I threw to save the civilians. It was also defective. But she didn't know that.

Ah, here they are, the fetish machines! Carrying...a phallic object. It was aimed at me.

"I think it was a tazer. Or that adult toy which name escapes me at the moment," Butch said.

Yeah, I think that adult toy is named...dongs? I forget. But I think it's a tazer. A thing flashed through my mind, but this is definitely not the time t-

"Don't taze me, bro!" Butch said.

Bah, screw it. I'd threw three Crushers at him, but turns out I overestimated the number of Crushers I have at my suitcase. Turn out the Crusher I throw to save the girl is the last one. I have to pick another weapon! Which one do I use? The 4Kids Censor? The handgun? The Unoriginal Lightsaber? The Improvisational Weapon Kit? The Splash? The Bad Video Games Hurler? The Catchy Hypnotizer? The Thingy? The Fourth Wall Breaker? The Super Ultra Mega Weapon of Ultimate Mass Apocalypse of Destructio-

Gah! The fetish machines were on my shoulders! I turned back, only to see the phallic thing few...decimeters, I think, from my face. I quickly take one thing I could from my suitcase, and turned it on.

Nothing happens. Except that the phallic thing shocked me, and I lost my consciousness.

As usual for someone to end their chapters in a cliffhanger, the last thing I saw before everything was black is the thing I turned on.

It was the Deus Ex Machina.

[If this information is of any importance: The Deus Ex Machina didn't pick sides]

[Professor Zobot]

(Sorry I've been so lax in posting here, recently. There's been a LOT going on, both IRL for me and on the game. Hey Yong... why don't you post on the Halloween party thread too? It's pretty active, and everyone's invited. Another post will come here soon.)

[Professor Zobot]

(Because the Halloween party thread's not very active right now and poor JaneTor's got little to do, I'm gonna start posting here again.)

The two of them woke up to find themselves dangling by pieces of rope. Alice and Yong looked down to find Timmy cackling below them.

"Mwehehehehehee! Wake up, sleepy-heads! You're my prisoners now, and that means... you're gonna get turned into nerf darts!"

He pressed a button, as the ropes they were danging from began to gradually lower, dropping them slowly towards a large vat of liquid nerf foam.

[JanetTor]

((Thank you!))

Alice groans. That annoying little-! Her head aches. In her pocket, the hero tracker has begun beeping again, insistently. But even if she had the free hand to shut it off, she would be focused on other things anyway, such as freeing herself from impeding doom.

"You awake, Yongkusumo?" She twists a little to look. The hero is also shaking himself out of his daze. All six of his arms have been painstakingly tied with the kind of knots that earn badges. "Yong?"

"Yes." The reply is short, curt. He's still mad at her?

But - She sighs. All these heroes and nary a one believes a damsel should be armed. Such is life. How about making sure you keep yours now?

Alice takes stock. The hero tracker won't be much use. Her gun is probably still lying in the street somewhere. (In fact, the dust mites have thoughtfully taken it back to her box for her. (Ah, continuity!)) She can't do much without the use of her hands... But they aren't tied, it's just her arms.

"Okay," she says brusquely. "Yong, get over yourself and try to reach my jacket pocket."

"Lady-"

"Ali- Gale. Call me Gale. And, please." Alice - no, 'Gale' - softens her tone a bit. He was overdefensive, but her own motives aren't exactly pure. She's not an innocent tumbling into a dreamlike world, she's a force of nature. Now's not the time to pretend otherwise.

"Can you reach or not?" Gale asks.