Comics by Shaenon II

[Professor Zobot]

Hey, good to see a new player after so long!

Sounds like an interesting character concept. Is he considering university education? I know a couple of insane schools he could apply to...

[blazerflarey]

Yes I believe that he is going to attempt to pursue a university education. The chief reason for that belief is that the character enjoys learning new things. By the way he is seventeen years old. His birthday is in the Spring. I am basing this character on myself, like using my personality and my age and current educational status. The reason that I wish to join in this "war" is because it seems that it will be fun.

[Professor Zobot]

Well, I hope you get in!

I'd invite you to join the Practice Wars, but it seems like we're lacking in new recruits over there. Still, don't get discouraged.

So, your specialty is numbers, eh? Hmm... for some reason I'm reminded of the calculator class from Final Fantasy Tactics. It'd be cool if he could do stuff like that.

[Professor_Tinker]

A Numbers specialist? Hmmm, somehow I see him and Prof. Tinker having something of a rivalry pretty quickly, Phantom Tollbooth style.

[SoItBegins]

Hmmm... I'd need for you to write a paragraph showing your character doing something nefarious or mad-science-y. If it's good, perhaps I could streamline you into the game soon..

[Professor Zobot]

A Numbers specialist? Hmmm, somehow I see him and Prof. Tinker having something of a rivalry pretty quickly, Phantom Tollbooth style.

But without Rhyme and Reason, their fighting would escalate...

Hmm...we may need more than a humbug to keep this fight from happening.

[blazerflarey]

Think of it this way. Quite a bit of data in physics can be put into number, so if a person can change the influence of one of the variables, let say like gravity, effect on a person, well lets just try to figure out how a person will react to the effect of One hundred G's. And probability is almost always put in numbers, now if a person can change the ratio what would you expect happen. If my character gets in, just keep in mind he would rarely use the power to alter numbers at a whim, in a situation to just destroy something. He would more likely just alter the possibility of arriving unscathed. Any variable can be put in a numerical form. The power to alter them placed in the hands of a person that is often oblivious, add into the fact that that person is easily capable of warping reality, but has no real intention to harm people, well that would be interesting to watch. Tinker, I am not certain that he would have any interest in fighting you because the character loves to read fantasy books.

[Professor Zobot]

Well, good luck writing that Paragraph, Blaze! I'm sure you can do it!

[blazerflarey]

Now let's commence the testing of an anti-gravity device. As far away as possible from my home. {Five blocks away} Let us commence the testing! {Uses the anti-gravity device on a building, instead of floating away the building crumbles to rubble} Oh well you win some and you lose some.

[SoItBegins]

Hmmmmm.... OK!

blazerflarey, You have been given a provisional Invitation to the Mad Scientist Wars.

This invitation will become active at the end of the second day of the Convention.

[Professor_Tinker]

A Numbers specialist? Hmmm, somehow I see him and Prof. Tinker having something of a rivalry pretty quickly, Phantom Tollbooth style.

But without Rhyme and Reason, their fighting would escalate...

Hmm...we may need more than a humbug to keep this fight from happening.

Desius as Milo, Fredric as Tock, and Toboz as the Humbug. We can make this work!

[Professor Zobot]

Hmm...but who would we get to play Rhyme or Reason?

Chicgeek, if we could talk her into it, could probably play one role, but we'd still be one short.

[Professor_Tinker]

Hmm...but who would we get to play Rhyme or Reason?

Chicgeek, if we could talk her into it, could probably play one role, but we'd still be one short.

Jane Narbon?

Nevermind.
... Um, maybe we could just use the Twins instead?

[SoItBegins]

Yeah... and I can see Prof. T as King Azaz, and myself as the Mathemagician.

[Professor_Tinker]

Yeah... and I can see Prof. T as King Azaz, and myself as the Mathemagician.

King Andrew rules with an iron fist! FREDRIC! Show the dissenter to the dungeons- um, but make sure they get some cookies and tea, first.

[Professor Zobot]

Watch it, Tinker, or I'll sic the senses taker on you...

[chicgeek]

Norman Juster, author of The Phantom Tollbooth, wrote a second, obscure little book, called The Dot and the Line. It's a mini mathematical romance.
Look it up. I'm not a math geek, but I'm surrounded by them.

Besides, we need Dr.Amino in on this. With the aid of the multiple voices in her head, she can be Rhyme AND Reason.

[SoItBegins]

Hey, who's going to be the Demons of Ignorance, then?

[Professor_Tinker]

Oh, I think there's plenty of mads that could stand in for them.

[Professor Zobot]

Sheesh! Where are our manners! Congrats, Blazefury, for getting a provisional invitation to the game!

Granted, we're not quite to the point where you're introduced yet, but there's plenty you can do in the mean time. Feel free to post in the Lounge, and you might be able to get someone to bite in the practice wars as well.

This really isn't the thread to be congratulating people in, but since this is the most action it's seen in weeks, what the hey.

I look forward to destroying you, as well as the rest of the cast. Possibly with lasers. These lasers may also be Wicked.

[Claire]

Well, I've been watching the Wars for a long time, but never posted anything before. Here goes nothing.

Claire, age 23, seeks work as a henchwoman. She is proficient with the sword, knife, battle-axe, broken bottle, fists, and wrench. She will provide the first replacement of all body parts, excluding the right hand, and will work for room, board, and explosives, although paid death leave and subsequent replacements of body parts are also important. Non-toxic food is preferred, but not required. She is knowledgeable in Mad traditions, and a basic grounding in most sciences. She is strong and fast, although too short to reach the stuff on the top shelf. Evil Mads preferable.

I also wrote a scene which I feel better introduces this character, but I'm not sure what to do with it. (It's what happened at the end of her last henching job.)

[Wallycaine]

Hello! Nice to see a new face. I knew there were more people out there.

Edit: Either put the scene here, or in the Tales of Madness. Both will work, and should be fun to see.

[chicgeek]

Welcome. Claire! Good luck finding that evil mad. As qualified henchmen, and henchwomen, are hard to come by, I forsee a short search for employment.

[Claire]

Well, here's the reason I'm not employed anymore.

The Hero stood, pointing his gun at Dr. Smith. “Your perversions of nature are at an end, evildoer. No longer will you terrify the townsfolk. They will be free of you and your cursed exploding grasses. Soon, children will be able to walk the streets in safety, without fear of the ground blowing up under your feet.” The Hero’s knuckle tightened on the trigger.

*CLANG* He crumpled to the floor. Behind him stood Claire, holding a large wrench.

“Cutting it a bit close, don’t you thing?” asked Dr. Smith. “You could have hit him at any point during his speech.”

“Master, traditionally he must be allowed to finish his speech. It’s important for dramatic tension.”

Dr. Smith sighed. Oh, well, at least now the Hero could be disposed of. “You don’t have to call me master, you know,” he said reflexively, picking up the Hero’s gun and pointing it at the Hero.

“Master!” Claire effortlessly yanked the Hero out of the way as the bullet ricocheted off the floor. She looked scandalized. “You can’t shoot him like that!”

Dr. Smith groaned. He wasn’t allowed to just shoot the Hero. Of course. Claire would be especially picky about something like that. Now he had to build a deathtrap, and give an evil monologue. Having a henchwoman was such a pain sometimes. Why did he put up with her again? “Fine. Put him in the courtyard, with 20 feet of explosive grass on each side. Give it some of that super-fertilizer, and I’ll be down to give the monologue in ten minutes.”

“Very good, Master.” Claire carried the Hero off. OK, it was nice to have someone to carry things. She was strong for someone so small, and it was convenient to have her around, even if she couldn’t reach the things on the top shelf. Dr. Smith got out a pencil and some paper as Claire disappeared from view. She would be appalled if she knew, but evil monologues didn’t exactly roll off his tongue. At least he had ten minutes to prepare.

Five minutes later, Claire ran into the room. “Master! Master! An angry mob with pitchforks and torches has assembled at the gates! They demand to know what you have done with their Hero! They plan to storm the castle!”

And, of course, she’s thrilled. Next time, I’m hiring a hench who isn’t obsessed with tradition, even if I have to train them myself. Dr. Smith picked up the phone. “Well, they’re trespassing, so I’ll just call the police…” Claire gasped, and he chuckled, commenting “don’t worry, I’m just teasing. Besides, I mutated all the police into flying frogs last week, remember?” He mused to himself, “the laser’s being cleaned, the grass grows too slowly, even with fertilizer, and any sort of large-scale explosive would have twenty Heroes here within a week. Hmm…”

“Master?” Claire asked tentatively. She knew she wasn’t supposed to do any planning, but… she ran through a side door to her room, and came back with a copy of James Tesla’s Traditional Villainy. Chapter 12 described appropriate ways to handle mobs.

“Ah, thank you Claire.” Dr. Smith flipped through a few pages, and smiled. “Perfect. Those fools will never know what hit them. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” Claire grinned and hugged herself. At times, the Master really came through, especially with his evil laughter. She glanced at her watch. 43 seconds of laughter. Amazing!

“Now Claire, here is your pay,” said Dr. Smith, once he had calmed down enough to talk. He handed her 4 sticks of what looked like dynamite and a jar of purple sludge. “Help yourself to the food in that cupboard. It’s a shame we have to part ways, but you know how it is…” Claire nodded. After getting torn apart by an angry mob, the last thing a Mad Scientist needed was to have his henchman show up and spoil everything. They shook hands, and he left for the front gate.

Claire took some rations and her few belongings and left via the secret passage. She could hear the sounds of the angry villagers long after she had left the castle. In the woods, she stopped only to uncover a large cooler, which she picked up and carried. There was no need to run tonight, she had plenty of time to get to another town. She would need a new Master, though. She also needed to write a letter to her parents, telling them how wonderful and normal college was.

*Munch munch much* “His poison PB&Js are the best.”

[chicgeek]

Oh, nicely played!

[Professor_Tinker]

Ha ha ha ha!! Oh, I just *love* it. Likes evil laughs, ey? she'd love Andrew....

[Jane Narbon]

I liiiike it. I'd hire you now, but I've already got a henchwoman.

[That Guy]

Not for too much longer though, Jane.

[SoItBegins]

Uh-oh.

[runingwolfin]

((Well, the practice wars aren't moving, so I might as well try to go in the war sometime XD if it's ok, I'll still keep wolfin XD))

Wolfin looked up at her old school. She could still see the black that they had never been able to clean off from her chemical explosion. It was almost a shame to do what she had come so far to do. She rubbed her paw like hand up and down on a shiny gun. "Such memories, but to bad it has to be this way. All of them are in class, and are about to-" She looked around as she remembered that there is usually someone around when you state your evil plans. She took aim with her silver gun, and pulled the trigger. She watches as the building turned a gold for a split second, then turned into jelly with little kids stuck in it. Well, there goes her dispartical ray gun, but it would take them a long time to get a new school up once the animals were done eating it. She shrugged as she began her long journey to head back to where she wasn't chased with silver just for walking around outside. Her coat flowing as is began to fall apart. She knew it would happen, after all, it was the coat she wore in the chemical explosion years ago.

((sorry... much longer than I thought it would be..))