Comics by Shaenon II

[SoItBegins]

Brrrrr!!

[That Guy]

I hope you all realize that every dark past you have written here was in Lucifer's archives. When the time comes you will face your pasts...

[Professor_Tinker]

... remind me to add more Dark pasts. whoo!

[That Guy]

A Mad In Time

Episode IV
Iscimuth's Plot
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Thaddeus was trapped in the lair of the Evil Madman Iscimuth. He was strapped to the table. He stared at the ceiling for a while thinking that if you strap someone to a table you should come along and threaten them soon. After all, leaving the hero alone and not in a death trap is bad form.

"Good Evening," said the sinister voice of Iscimuth.

"About time you got here," said Thad. "You know it's bad form to keep me here without a death trap. Entertaining your guests is very important."

"Quiet you," said Iscimuth as he fiddled with a ray pointed at Thad. "Now this is quite complicated..." He drew some blood from Thaddeus' arm. "So I'll let Adelaide explain our evil plot to you."

From behind Thad came a young woman. Lord Wenstram's daughter from earlier. She seemed a bit less weepy and flimsy right now. In fact she looked very evil.

"Why do we have to tell him the plan?" she asked.

"Because," answered Iscimuth. "We already kept him waiting and if I miss too many points on the captured hero checklist I'll get a bad name."

"Fine," she said. "We are going to kill you. Well after you become useful to us. You see my Iscimuth here wants to rule this land. And I want the power that he will control. All we need to do is wrest the land from my idiot father."

"And how do I fit into this then?" asked Thad mockingly.

"I'm getting to that. Unfortunately the Metal Man is preventing my Iscimuth from killing my father. The only solution is to frame the Metal Man for killing me. Then father will drive the Metal Man out of town and there shall be nothing to stop us. Muahahahaha." She and Iscimuth joined in an evil laugh.

"So that machine," said Thad nodding his head toward the large ray. "How will it kill me so everyone thinks the Metal Man did it?"

"Oh you fool," said Iscimuth, now finished with his tinkering. "The ray shall not kill you. You shall be transformed into a double for my lady," he kissed Adelaide. Once more laughing maniacally he pressed a button on the side of the ray.

Shoooooom

There was a large flash of reddish light and Thaddeus' consciousness faded...

Thad woke slowly feeling quite strange. He was still tied to the table where he had been before. His clothes felt looser and baggier, while his long dark hair hung in his face.

"Long dark hair?" he said aloud. "Oh great. Just great. It's not enough that I'm going to die in the past. I'm going to die in the past in the wrong gender."

He, or perhaps we should say she, looked around. Iscimuth's lab looked the same. She felt herself strapped to the table still. Though her arms felt somewhat looser. She struggled a bit and got a hand free. "Yes villain fallacy #10, not properly tying up the captive."

She freed his other limbs and sneaked away quietly. She ran through the corridors until she came upon the guards in front of the dungeon. They were sleeping off a lot of ale it would seem. She tiptoed past them to the dungeon.

Coming upon the cell where Roderic and the Professor were being held.

"Ah so the Evil Lord's beautiful daughter has come to rescue the heroes from their deaths because she has fallen in love with their leader," said Roderic.

"Don't be so full of yourself," said Thaddeus. "You've been told too many fairy tales." She opened the cell doors and let them out. "Now, be quiet. The guards are asleep."

They tiptoed past the guards. After a close moment when one of Roderic's men stepped on a guards hand they hurried away from the dungeon.

"So what's going on miss?" said the Professor.

"Iscimuth is planning to kill me and frame the Metal Man," answered Thaddeus.

"Why," said Roderic loudly. "Those filthy Mad's are in cahoots with each other."

Two guards came round the corner to investigate the sound. Thaddeus gave them some swift kicks before they could cry out. She slapped Roderic in the head. "Be quiet. We're sneaking out of this castle here."

Once she had stormed out of earshot he said, "I think I'm in love."

"I wouldn't if I were you," said Doctor Kirington. He caught up to her. "Don't you think you're being a bit hard on him Thaddeus."

"No I don't-wait how'd you know it was me?" she asked.

"It's not to hard to tell. You're still wearing your clothes. If Roderic wasn't so busy looking at something else he'd probably noticed too."

"What do you mean looking at something else?" she looked at herself. She re latched the top of her tunic.

After successfully escaping the castle Roderic wanted to round up his forces for an attack on the castle. But after Thaddeus reminded him he only had the force with him, (she needed some visual aids, such as her fist on his head) she convinced him to take them to see the Metal Man.
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End Episode IV: Iscimuth's Plot
Coming Soon: Episode V: The Double Trick

[chicgeek]

I like Thad's time travel adventure! Mads of the past, chivalry, and plots-and I like the evil princess.

[SoItBegins]

Adelaide Narbon...? No.

[That Guy]

No Adelaide D-...I mean Wenstram. You almost got me to slip up SiB.

[SoItBegins]

Heh heh heh.

[Professor_Tinker]

The Alliance, Part one of Two.
~Undisclosed Location, Midnight~

"Ladies und Gentlemen, de Mad Villains Alliance vill now come to Order."

The room was large, and made of a sort of faintly shining Grey stone. Dominating the room was an enormous oval table, made from a black material that refused to reflect light.
There were two large Windows, showing the panoramic view around the dormant volcano in (LOCATION UNDISCLOSED) that the building was not only built on, but out of the rare stone it was made of- known for it's peculiar ability to negate most Super-hero powers.

Also on the walls were paintings, of exquisite style, of the Alliance's members- the largest two being the Alliances Founders.
Doctor Florian Viktor, and Nikola Tesla.

Tesla was not, of course, attending this meeting, but Florian Viktor was there, and he sat at the head of the table, in front of his own portrait. He was dressed in his finest bronze and orange suit, lounging across his seat casually.

"Everybody here? Yah? Goot." he said, sitting up straight.
Gathered at the table were the Fifteen finest Mad Villains in the world- chosen by hand by Deed, Demeanor, and Reputation.

"Hy soppose hyu are vonderink vy Hy hef called diz meetink, ey?" he said, grinning charmingly.
A mummer of agreement followed, which he cut off with a wave of the hand.

"Yeh, settle down hokay folks? Vell, it's simple. After due events, Hy hef no choice bot to do someting perhaps a leedle shockink." he said, standing up slowly.
The room hushed- a chilling silence as each member worried that he meant them.
Which made the following announcement all the more shocking.

"Hy hearby charge myself vit breakink de rules set to me by de Alliance uf Villains, und musht charge myself vit de proper punishment." he said solemnly.

Edward Entropy lept to his feet.
"But sir! The charge for breaking the Alliance code is expulsion! You must be joking." he said, looking around for agreement.

"Sit down, Entropy. It pain me to say, bot diz time, Hy no joke. Hy hef villingly broken a core tenement- Cooperation vit Hero."

[Professor_Tinker]

The Alliance, Part Two of Two.

Florin Viktor sat patiently on a comfortable lounge chair in the Alliances 'Den', waiting while the others voted on his own expulsion from the Alliance. It was a cosy room, for more casual conversation- the Alliance was about more than just meetings and rules, after all.
It was a refuge. Any Member who wanted to could stay in one of it's many luxurious living quarters. Whether due to a base being destroyed, being the target of a Manhunt, or even just wanting a vacation, the doors were always open.
It was also a place for companionship- the life of a Villain was a lonely one, after all. But the Alliance members were sworn to never betray one another- to do so would mean immediate expulsion, and no protection from the ire of the other members.

It was a Haven, fr those who both Merited invitation and could follow it's code.
Viktor sighed slightly, casting his eyes to the modest tapestry on the wall of the Den that listed the rules.

They were pretty basic, really. No genocide, no undue endangering of innocents, never kill a child, treat every Hero equally (gender, race, species or Age is no reason to dishonor your foe), Never turn into a giant snake (it never helps), You are *not* the All-Powerful God (get over yourself), no Betraying an Alliance member, Never Destroy the Moon (wreaks havoc with the Tides), No Destroying Earth (where the hell would you live after *that*?), no Bogarting the *good* heroes (Find yer own), so on and so forth.

He remembered hammering the rules out years ad years ago, him and Nicky sitting up late in the cold Russian winter. He had seen generations of Villains come and go, could remember the face of every man and woman who had ever been in the Alliance.
Friendship. Family. Honor. This was the Alliance to him.
He had Founded the Alliance, with one of the best friends he had ever had. It was only right that he do well by it- he was as subject to it's rules as everyone else.

Edward Entropy sat across from him suddenly, startling him- he'd been too deep in thought to notice him.
"Ay! Don' scare me like dot, hyu vippersnapper."

"Don't call me that. Doctor Viktor, why are you doing this? " he looked serious- well, moe serius than usual. The Entropys were a serious bunch.
You would never find more honorable Villians, though. There had been Entropys in the Alliance for decades.

"Hy broke a rule, Entropy." he said simply, refusing to look at his comrade.

"Well why did you *tell* us?! I mean, that rule even has a loophole!" exclaimed Edward, clearly agitated.
He had been in the Alliance since he was Fifteen- Dr. Viktor had found him after he had been run out of his home town. He had been a friend of his Father- and he was going to be expelled?! It just could happen.

"Hy know de loophole, Entropy- Hy helped *vrite* de loophole. 'Onless if hyu are avoidink incarceration by hyu only means to do so'." he recited, smiling slightly.

"Right! and that was what you did! You had been-"

"Hy DEED NO SOCH TING!" thundered Dr. Viktor, eyes blazing red as he lept to his feet, fury on his face.

"Hyu tink dot puny cell could hef held *me*?! Dot Hy vas scared uf those vorthless Emerikkan agents?!" he demanded, teeth cleaminglike daggers.

"WELL THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT?!" shouted Dr. Entropy, every inch as angry as he lept to his feet.

"You obviously knew the consequences, so WHY?! Why would you *do* it?! WHAT COULD BE WORTH IT?!" he nearly screamed, chest heaving as he panted.

After a moment, Dr. Viktor turned away, putting a hand in his pocket and grasping something. He took out whatever it was, clenching it in his fist.

"... Hef hyu ever met Dimitri Io?" he asked suddenly, sinking back into his chair.

"... what? No, no I haven't." said Dr. Entropy, confused by the question.

"Makes sense. See, he a Hero. Bot mosht Hero, dey run around havink adventures, savink de vorld vit a fisht und some luck. He not like dot. He Mad Hero- hyu ever meet vun uf dem? They rare. Him, he sit in hiz lonely labritory, tryink to save de vorld vit a microscope und shmots." he said, slowly smiling.

Dr. Entropy sat down, watching his face.
".. he's who you helped." he said simply, face clearing. All the years he had known him, he had never heard hm speak so softly- so fondly. Dr. Viktor was a boisterous, obnoxious man- a giant who could carry the world.

To see him look so... human was almost heartbreaking.

"Hyu asked me vot iz vorth diz. Vell, now hyu know. It vorth everyting Hy ever hef. For diz, diz man, for diz dreem ve make. It vorth it!" Dr. Viktor said simply, leaning back in his chair.
He opened his hand, where a simple gold ring sat. He smiled to look at it, turning it so he could see the moon embossed in it.

Dr. Entropy blinked, suddenly realizing something.
"Viktor... when did you start wearing your family ring on you're *middle* finger?" he asked.

"Five years, eight months, und tventy-four days. Hy'm sorry, Edvard- bot de light's on. They done votink. Time for old Viktor to face de music." he said with a grin, slipping the gold ring on and standing up.

"... For what it;s worth, I think I understand."

"It's vorth a lot, Edvard."

~In the Meeting Room~

Mr. Wist, Evil Secretary stood as soon as Viktor and Entropy had sat down, adjusting his glasses regally.
"Doctor Florian Viktor, Twenty-Fourth in the Line of Viktor, Member of the Order of Frankenstein, and Honorable Founder of our Alliance, We have reviewed your alleged breaking of the Code. Do you have anything to say before you receive your judgment?" he said, his polite monotone echoing in the room.

Viktor tilted his head, and nodded shortly, rising from his chair.
"Hyu all know me, ya? Hy recruited mosht uf hyu. Here, in diz room... iz de finesht collection uf de greatesht Villains in diz vorld. Exept for tvo boys, Raspotin und Vladimir. They are my sons. They are- They are shtill babies, yah? Bot dey gonna be great Villains. Don't let dem go jusht because dey Poppa let hyu down- give dem seats here someday." he said, grinning again and sitting down as everyone nodded agreement.

"Thank hyu." he said softly, bracing himself as Mr. Wist cleared his throat.

"We reviewed the files of the project you Aided; Project Tinker. A project meant to create a line of Hero Mad Scientists who will spread and grow with each generation, with strong Madness- your own blood flows in their veins. They will be the strongest, most capable Heroes any Villain can ever face, and will only grow stronger as time passes on. After reviewing and discussing these facts, we have come to our conclusion that...."

Viktor squeezed his eyes shut, tensing up.

"It's probably the single most God-Damned Villainous thing you've ever done. Meeting adjourned." said Mr. Wist, mouth twitching in the tiniest of smiles.

[chicgeek]

Oh, I like!
Funny how Chic ended up with Tesla's secret notes-when her grandfather never knew she existed.
And yes, come to think of it, helping Io was a pretty villainous act!

[That Guy]

It's true. Those who destroy/save the world, causing destruction and mayhem in their paths may be evil/or good in their right.

But parents are still the creators of those destructive monstrosities. While the heroes and villains battle it out, they destroy property and land.

The best creations of an evil mind are the heroes it makes. For when a hero makes a hero, the hero is only as smart as the hero before it. But if a villain makes a hero, that hero has all the tricks that villains have.

A good hero makes his/her nemesis try harder. The greatest heroes have therefore caused the worst destruction.

Theorem of Proportional Heroics.

[Professor_Tinker]

Exactly!
The Tinkers cause *how* much mayhem? Heroes attract mayhem, but the better the Hero the *more* mayhem they pull.
And by creating the Tinkers, Viktor and Io effectively *halted* lesser villains- 'Why be a villain when a Tinker could get me?"

Plus, I liked showing that Viktor risked as much as Io did to make their family- basically he gamed his life's work without batting an eye.

[Professor Zobot]

The Nega-Files: David Vs. Zobot, Part 1

(This submission to Tales of Madness deserves some explanation. One of the principle conventions of the Evil Alternate idea is that at some point, the good and evil versions of each other fight. Bitterly. It's happened so often that it's practically a cliche. However, I like the idea, and I wanted to get some practice writing for combat. So, based off of an idea Tinker and I cooked up, we have the first of The Nega-Files, a collection of Tales of Madness pieces intended to be about alternates fighting alternates. If anyone is interested in writing about how two versions of their character would duke it out, feel free to write your own submission to the Nega-Files. These stories aren't considered Canon unless the author explicitly states they are, so don't worry about working it into the main story.

For simplicity's sake, plus the reason that I'm not entirely sure I have Nega-Toboz's character fully down yet, (he's not supposed to be Prof. Zobot, but he's coming off a bit as such right now) the following story is not canon, although I may backslide on that depending on how future parts turn out. Thanks for reading!)

David yawned and stretched his body. The zombies had been defeated, and everyone else was off speaking with their universal alternates. Something hadn't quite felt right about the events of the day, however.

Something was missing.

He had been so lost in thought that he had wandered off. He looked around. His feet had lead him to a field somewhere. There was no wind. There was no sound. Everything felt abnormally still, almost unnaturally quiet. The first thing he heard was the laughter. Loud, uncontrolled, unhinged laughter. In a very, very familiar voice. Abruptly, right before him, in the center of the field, there was a bright flash of light and a clap of thunder. David raised his robotic arm to shield his eyes, as a figure emerged from nowhere. The man slowly drifted downward, his feet lightly touching the grass. His eyebrows slanted towards the top of his nose and he narrowed his eyes

"So it's you." Two voices spoke in unison. Zobot's gaze met with Toboz's.

"The fallen hero..."

"And the man who couldn't cut it as a villain."

David sighed. "Somehow, I knew this was going to happen. I just had a gut feeling... and here you are."

Zobot sneered at him. "Well, everyone else was out having so much fun in the altiverse, and I just got bored. So I figured I'd borrow Andy's riftmaker and see if I couldn't stir up some trouble too." He wiped some dust off his shoulder.

David looked at him, sizing his alternate up. "Your arm looks a lot more realistic than mine..."

Zobot chuckled. "You like it? I figured that if I was going to make a prosthetic, I'd make something that felt humanlike to touch. Unlike your clunky automation." He closed his eyes and shrugged. "I would have expected better, but than again, you aren't me." Opening his eyes again, he looked over at David and rubbed his chin. "So, you still haven't recovered your memory?"

"Like I would tell you. Does that mean you have?" David kept his body tense.

"Hahah, Andrew was right. You are confrontational. Makes me a bit nostalgic, honestly." He stretched his remaining living arm. "You are correct, however. I regained my memory several weeks after losing it. Not that I've told anyone, of course. It'd just complicate things, and people are so much easier to deal with if they don't think you remember them." He grinned."Maria Narbon certainly was."

"Manipulative jerk."

He grinned at his positive alternate. "Naturally. So... 'David.' From what Andrew has told me of literary conventions, whenever alternates encounter each other, they always inevitably fight. But I've been watching the antics of my peers over on this world and I must say I'm disappointed. I had hoped that cities would have collapsed by now." He raised his robotic arm and took a step back, shifting his weight. "How would you like to help me feel satisfied? Let's see who turned out stronger, shall we?"

David snarled. "Like I needed an excuse to run you into the ground. Bring it on!"

[Wallycaine]

Very cool. I can't think of much reason for Caine and Wally to fight, but Lagos and Zombie Lagos? They might end up here. Anyways, cool idea, like your's so far.

[Professor_Tinker]

*snerk* Of course, you realize that Nega-Tinker would hit him for calling him 'Andy', right?
I think he comes off pretty well- considering that he probably acted like Toboz when he was good, so it makes sense that he's reminiscent of Prof. Zobot.
I'm working on mine- which will actually be cannon.

[Professor Zobot]

*snerk* Of course, you realize that Nega-Tinker would hit him for calling him 'Andy', right?

It's the only reason he does it. Because his Andrew isn't around, so he can get away with it.

[Professor_Tinker]

Please, he does it in his home 'verse too- just to laugh after Nega-Tinker snaps at him and demolished something nearby.

[Desius]

The Tinker way of life is filled with risk.
He knew this. He accepted this.
He had tangled with the greatest villians, escaped the most convulted deathtraps, even laughed in the face of death, and yet, he was afraid.
This... this was something worse than all of that. For the first time, he knew he could not escape, that there would be no mercy.

Gamma looked at the soup. Black as midnight, with small peices of chicken floating in the foul broth. He could see the bones still on most of the peices. It burbled like a foul potion, wafting with the burnt smell of charred flesh.

He looked into the wide, eager eyes of his son. A son who had suprised them with dinner after their adventures. He flashed a look at Delta, who smiled and shrugged.

He gulped.

He reached for the spoon.
It cut the broth like a knife, sinking in slowly, a raspy hiss escaping as it gurgled.
He lifted it, a slimy trail of viscous fluid strung to the bowl.
Some peice of meat surfaced on his spoon, and he swore it blinked at him.

He was afraid.

[chicgeek]

Heehee chuckle chortle guffaw! That's funny!
I'm suprised Chic lets him make the coffee!

[Professor_Tinker]

.. and that's how Gamma and Delta gained a resistance to most poisons and toxins.

[Professor Zobot]

Heehee... good one, Desius!

Expect the second segment of my Nega-Files story to be up sometime tomorrow... hopefully.

[Jane Narbon]

But only most. (:twisted: heh heh heh)

I'm thinking back to the Convention here.

[Professor_Tinker]

But only most. (:twisted: heh heh heh)

I'm thinking back to the Convention here.

Well, Ingested poisons, anyways.

[Professor_Tinker]

~The Nega-Verse, Nega-Tinkers Dark Mansion, on Niihau Island~
~some time ago~
((Please note, that as this Is written from Nega-Tinkers point of view, most of the Third-person limited will refer to *him* as 'Tinker', and our Tinker as either Posi-Tinker or Andrew. Thank you!- The Mngmt))


"... You're taking a trip to the Posi-Verse? Now?"

Tinker smiled, sipping his cup of red wine. He was standing in the large french windows of his Mansion, overlooking his beautiful island- so worth the planning it took. Niihau was one of the worlds treasures.

And where better to house *his* treasures? A home for himself, and his precious Children- who could roam the beautiful forests as they wished. Training space for Katanazo, a music hall for Freddy, and elegant guest rooms for his cousins, protegee and his.... most important Guest.

"Mm, not *right now* silly. In a week, about. And I'll be there for a few months- It would be quicker, but the SIBs are clever, so I'll have to be very subtle." he said mellowly, watching with interest as a light rain began to fall outside.

"Heh. Subtle? You can't stand subtly for long, even if you are so good at it. You have no self-control... Andy"

Tinker twitched, the wineglass in his hand breaking dramatically.

"Don't call me that." he said in a dry, deathly whisper, turning his head to glare at the man lounging on the elegant sofa.

The man simply chuckled, obviously enjoying his momentary fury.

Tinker sighed, looking at his wine-streaked hand.
"See what you made me do." he scolded, walking back to the spindly table that held the wine he was drinking, along with a few spare wineglasses and a towel- which he used to clean off his hand.

"So sorry, only I wanted to see what you would look like, face contorted in fury, hand dripping with crimson liquid, framed by the rain. Such a picture...It was too perfect to miss." the man said, clearly not sorry in the least. He delighted in tormenting him- relishing being one of the only beings who could do so freely.

"And if I had decided to attack you instead?" said Tinker darkly, pouring himself a fresh glass.

"... that would look nice, too. You are so pretty when you're murderous."

"Flatterer. You are so transparent- don't think you can distract me from my plans, good master Z." he said reproachfully, sitting next to him and staring off into the rain.

Zobot barely restrained the urge to roll his eyes- it was just too easy, sometimes. Part of why he disliked Tinker leaving was the Posi-Verse set the Tinker on edge, making him more cynical than usual.

For a moment, they both were silent- the only sounds being the rain and Tinker's 'Children' taking shelter- they had special houses Tinker had had built just for them around the island.
After making the humans who had lived there evacuate, of course. Nothing but the best for his family.

"... you've never told me about how you discovered the Posi-Verse. As far as I know, you've kept it a secret." he said teasingly- he knew it made hm more likely to talk.

"I have lots of Secrets- and we have plenty of time for you to hear them... *eventually*. Do try to live long enough." snapped Tinker, refusing to look at him.

"You still don't trust me." Zobot accused, narrowing his eyes. He had thought they were past this.

"Oh, I do- there are easier ways to get information from me, and you're too selfish to waste time feigning emotions. Now, hush- I'm enjoying the rain-fall." he said, tone a little softer. Why couldn't he ask about anything else? The Posi-verse was one of his greatest discovery... but it had come bundled with his worst failure.

"Andy."

*Crack! Tinkle tinkle..*
Tinker glared at him, grabbing the towel to wipe his hand off before standing to pour himself *another* glass of wine.
"Don't think I'll let my feelings get in the way of murdering you if you keep doing that." he hissed, sitting back down.

"I'll bother you from beyond the grave- so tell me already." they both knew it was an empty threat- even if he *did* attack him, Zobot could take him.
That was part of why they liked each other- the thrill of an even fight.

"Pah. Insolent manipulative little Ex-Hero, I bet you would too." he sighed, glaring at him momentarily
"Fine. I'll tell you- but remember what I can do to you if you think of telling." he hissed, downing the wine in one go- he was going to need it if he was going to tell such a painful story....

He cleared his throat, setting the glass aside- he didn't want to break it when he got to the furious bit....

[chicgeek]

The Nega-files are a good idea. I don't know if I'll write one-I'd have to think of a good reason. Anti Chic is a little wilder, a touch more evil-but not that different from her alternate.
But if they do, cities will burn indeed.

Zobot, see what you started with one reference to a Nega Tinker? Now all we need is the characters from both universes teaming up in a desparate fight against a third, worse one....

[That Guy]

A Mad In Time

Episode V
The Double Trick
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After convincing Roderic to lead them to the Metal Man, the group arrived at a small house in the woods. It seemed a picturesque and calm little house attached to a watermill. Thaddeus pushed her way to the front and politely knocked on the door before Roderic and his men broke it down.

The door opened a crack and a wrinkled face peaked out. "Who goes there?" said the man.

"It is I foul man," shouted Roderic. "I've come to set right the wrongs your kind inflicts."

Stomping his foot Thaddeus said, "Settle down." To the Metal Man-"We've come to warn you of a devious plot."

"Well far be it from me to refuse a lady," said the Metal Man. "Come in, but leave your weapons by the door." He opened the door wide.

"I shall not be parted with my sword," said Roderic defiantly.

"We're in his home," said the Professor. "We should do as he says."

After everyone had placed there weapons in the pile the Metal Man ushered them all into a room lit by a fireplace. Once there it was obvious why he was called the Metal Man. His arm, his leg and half his face were fashioned of a dull gray metal.

"Will you take some tea?" asked their host.

"Yes please," said Dr. Kirington.

"Neither I or my men will take of this poison," said Roderic. However is was obvious that his men were hungry from the way they looked covetously at the bread and tea set out.

"I'd like some, thank you," said Thaddeus.

After they had settled down around the Metal Man's table he said, "Now what is it that you wish to warn me of."

"Iscimuth is trying to conquer the Lord's lands," said Thad.

"A fact which I already know. He controls Wenstram and all the kingdom. The Lord, I believe might be shown the error of his ways, but Iscimuth leads him down a dark path that I've tried in vain to draw him from."

"He is doing far more than that," said Thaddeus. "He plans to drive you away and dethrone Wenstam to take the power for himself."

"He has been trying to do that for ages. The Lord, however, does not wish to anger me. Iscimuth would win, but Wenstram remains unmovable on the matter."

"I doubt that he would remain so if you had killed his daughter," said Thad. "He will frame you for...my murder."

"Horrible," exclaimed the Metal Man.

Roderic suddenly stood. "I fail to see how telling this monstrosity of this will help."

"Don't be a fool," said the Professor. "You would never be able to stop him yourself. We need this man's help whether you like it or not."

"It seems I've remained inactive for too long," said The Metal Man. "We shall plan for an attack."

The plans were laid out, with only occasional interruptions from Roderic. They would attack at dawn. The Metal Man invited them to sleep in his loft for the night.

Thad was walking off with the others when a metal arm gripped her shoulder. "Young lady, you've been holding something back all evening. Tell me what is your secret."

"I suppose there is no point in lying about it," she said. "I am not really Lord Wenstram's daughter. Iscimuth made me look like her somehow."

"I suspected as much," said the Metal Man. "You do not act like her. You and Goodman Kirington are not from here."

"You could say that."

"You come from the future," said the Metal Man. "You needn't answer. I observed the way you talk and how you act. You are nothing like people of this time. But I babble on. Come quickly to my lab. I must see how Iscimuth did it."

The Metal Man led Thad to another room in his house. It was large and full of cogs and gears. It had in it many half built contraptions and bubbling liquids. He led her over to a workbench.

"I'll need a bit of your blood," he said. He drew the blood from Thad's outstretched arm. He laid it in a dish and focused on it with his mechanical eye.

After examining it for minutes. "I'm sorry," said the Metal Man. "There is nothing to be done for you. You must remain in Adelaide's body."

"Nothing to be done..." whispered Thad.

"Yes he's completely replaced your blood and tissue with her's. For all intents and purposes you are her." Helping her out of the lab and to another room he said, "Please take this room for tonight."

Thaddeus laid down on the hay bed and a tear dripped down his face. Slowly his eyes shut on the dark room...


In the morning everyone prepared for the fight. The Metal Man brought Thad some clothes that had belonged to his wife, so Thaddeus could wear something that fit him better.

They sneaked into the castle cautiously. Hiding the whole day so as to catch the people napping. After everyone had settled down to bed everyone moved off to find their positions.

Thaddeus was tiptoeing through the halls when from around a corner came Adelaide. "Look at what I found Iscimuth," she called. Before Thad could get to the end of the hall to stop him Iscimuth came around the corner and shot her.

Thad once more woke tied up. He was in the cellar. While he was asleep he had been put into one of Adelaide's outfits. She started to wriggle free of her bonds.

Adelaide entered the room. "So Iscimuth caught you again. With all the trouble it's been catching you, it will be fun to see you die."

At that moment Thaddeus untied the ropes and leaped at Adelaide. She knocked Adelaide to the ground. But then she fought back, punching and kicking Thad. The battle was nearly even because Thad was not used to fighting in a dress. Thad pushed her back into the wine barrels breaking them open drenching them both in red liquid.

Suddenly two men burst into the room. Iscimuth and the Metal Man. They too were fighting each other. Loud explosions and bangs echoed from there fight and shook the castle.

Iscimuth, for the first time, noticed the second battle raging between the two women. Taking his weapon he pointed it at them. Thad looked up just in time to see him and jumped away.

From behind some wine barrels Thad heard a scream. Then a man cried out, "Iscimuth, what have you done." Recognizing the voice as Lord Wenstram's Thad realized that the situation would resolve itself, and fled through the castle.

She found Dr. Kirington and explained. He agreed with her. So they took off into the night on two horses from the stables. They journeyed all through the night and reached the metal pig standing in the forest and piled inside.

"Thaddeus, I'm sorry that I've gotten you changed into a girl," said the Professor.

"These are the risks involved in a henchman's job. It always was a risk, and it's not to say that this is my first time as a girl."

They settled down for rest inside the large metal porker and relaxed. Tomorrow was for another day, year, or maybe a century.
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End Episode V: The Double Trick
Coming Soon: Episode VI: The Mechanics of Time Travel

[Professor Zobot]

The Nega-files are a good idea. I don't know if I'll write one-I'd have to think of a good reason. Anti Chic is a little wilder, a touch more evil-but not that different from her alternate.
But if they do, cities will burn indeed.

Zobot, see what you started with one reference to a Nega Tinker? Now all we need is the characters from both universes teaming up in a desparate fight against a third, worse one....

Hey, I resent that! I didn't encourage the Alternate universe thing. This is purely Tinker's snowball. I just tried to find something to do because I wasn't entirely sure what was going on with the superhero thing.

As for Anti-Chic vs. the original flavor of Chicgeek, I could think of a few things for them to fight over...

You see, it doesn't necessarily have to be a PHYSICAL conflict...

Can you say karaoke-off, anyone?

[Professor_Tinker]

((Remember, this portion is Nega-Tinker telling the story out-loud.))

The problem with death, in a world of Mad Science, is a tricky one. Between the Ether of the world, bringing a soul back from the world beyond is not difficult- well, so long as you can keep the body from falling apart.
All one needs is some lightning, a motive, and a little inspiration.

And so, if you think about it, It is fairly perplexing as to why Eric Tinker is dead. He was beloved by many Mad Scientists, all of them powerful enough to bring him back from the cold horizon we all must cross.

However.
His manner of death- a fatal gunshot at point-blank range- may have been seemingly mundane, but his disappearance was not.

As he died, he saw to it that a unspeakably dangerous man could never exist in the world that held his precious family again. Hew did this by twisting the laws he had studied all of his life, managing the incredible feat of forcing the very walls between universes to rend.

Unfortunately, to accomplish this, he dropped through this rip in reality as well. Meaning that his body, his very physical space in his universe, is gone. Not even a clone could sustain the resurrection of his soul.

As such, his son spent years attempting to learn how to bend reality just once more... if not to revive his father from the dead, then just to at least have his body to rest in his empty coffin.

Now, it should be mentioned, this is a story that has happened at least twice, in exactly the same way. In both the Posi-verse, and the Negi-Verse, a young boy wept at his noble father's empty grave.

Sad, isn't it?

But far more tragic, is the fact that the two men managed to complete their task, applying every scrap of ability they had fought for in one magnificent attempt.

".... who?"

"... what?"
The two identical men stared at each other, in shock, refusing to believe what they saw.
... the one in red realized it first, a small tear falling down his face.
The machines, set to work at the exact same time....

The one in green clenched his fists, face lighting with fury.
... instead of finding Fathers body connected to each other.

In that moment, the feelings of failure gripped both mens hearts, and the sort of self-hatred you can only get from such a disappointment erupted.
.. and self hatred, when faced with an exact copy of ones self....

Engulfed by rage and disappointment, they flew at one another.
... battles tend to be so tedious, really. After only a paragraph or two, they get repetitive. Because no matter how bloody or vicious a battle, it is one of the few things that mere words can never really get across, unless it has some goo dialogue anyway.

And this battle did not. There were no words. Only the trading of blows that could break walls.
.. suffice it to say, the two nearly killed each other.
After they had no more strength, they both lay on the ground, bruised and somewhat bloody.

"..... I guess we must be alternates of each other."

"Likely.... Andrew K. O A Risk-Tinker, and you?"

"... the same."

They were both silent for a moment.

".... Nega Tinker and Posi Tinker? I apologize, I can't think of anything better right now."

Nega tinker cracked a small smile, painfully sitting up.
"That's fine... it suits... things." he looked over at his double, who was still on the ground.

He sighed, reaching over and hauling him up into a sitting position against the wall.

Posi- Tinker smiled in gratitude, managing to pull a thermos out of his coat, taking a swig of it before passing it over to Nega-Tinker.

"What's this?"

"Eh? Healing coffee, to put it simply."

"Oh... I prefer espresso. At least tell me it's black."

"Just drink it."

Nega-Tinker took a swig, and made a face- milk *and* sugar, the sissy.

"... don't make that face!! I just like sweets..." protested Posi-Tinker, taking the thermos back.

"Ugh. Of course you do."

They were silent for a moment, passing the thermos back and forth until it was empty (and the broken bones healed).

"How... how many universes.. do you think h-he d..." Posi-tinker stumbled on the words, throat choking up.

Nega-Tinker whapped him on the head, frowning.
"Don't.. don't even. That's too lonely."

[That Guy]

A Mad In Time

Episode VI
The Mechanics of Time Travel
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The sun rose on a quiet medieval forest. Staunch pines hid the ground from sight. In a small clearing there is a large metal pig with lines showing the origins of its meat. Inside this porcine contraption were accommodations comparable to a motor home, only with more odd-looking machines.

Our heroes are up and about eating part of a small food supply for breakfast. Meanwhile an awkward situation is playing out...

"I'm sorry," said Dr. Kirington. Dr. Kirington Mad Scientist, Time Traveler, and a man of meager social graces. "I didn't build a lock on the door and I didn't realize you were in there."

"You could have knocked," replied Thaddeus Guy. She is the professor's henchman companion and student. She is permanently stuck in the body of Adelaide Wenstram as of two days ago.

"B-b-b-b-but I..." stammered the Doctor. He had hired a male companion to avoid such problems as walking in on her half naked. However now was not the time to.

After an muted breakfast, Dr. Kirington began to tune the ship. Adjusting the destination time and place, reconfiguring valves and switches, and pushing all manners of buttons.

Thaddeus looked around at the mechanical mess. "So, how does all of this stuff work?" she asked.

The professor looked up and realized that she was no longer angry at him. "Well you see," he said. "The quantum disintigratio-matic scans and registers all relevant PK Particles. Then the Trigonometric Energy Converter plucks energy out of all general Trigonometric Energy sources and pulls them to our Temporal Location. Then it breaks a Quantum Space-Time Vortex and twists a Temporal and Location shift wormhole into our destination. Then our Mass is converted into an Energy Signature and bursts through to the location. A classic Print Energy Field converts our Energy into Mass Identical to the Mass at the start of the trip."

After the long speech Thaddeus asked, "Now can you say that again in English?"

"Oh...uhh...well. The Machine pulls energy from its source. Then it records our exact mass and the correct positioning of every atom. It feeds that into the Print Energy Field. Our Matter is converted into energy. Sent through a wormhole that has just been ripped in Space-Time and deposits us at our destination."

"All right, I understand most of that, but isn't it an established fact that Time Travel requires energy equal to the total sum of energy in the Universe."

"True," said Dr. Kirington. "But, the total energy required to create the Universe is an infinite amount of times more than that. So by destroying only one parallel universe-which in our case was the bad smelling universe- we can create a rift from the beginning of the Universe that carries the energy into our engine and powers the Time Machine."

"Okay, but I still have another question," said Thad. "If you record our exact atomic configuration, wouldn't the machine have a record of my original body that could be changed so it could replace this one."

"Oh..." said the Doctor. "I hadn't thought of that. The machine just feeds the information to the Print Energy Field. If we recorded it, well it could prevent accidents of aging and injury." He flew into a frenzy of Madness altering the Machine so that it would record Matter. Suddenly he turned around and said, "I'm sorry."

After the machine had been altered Dr. Kirington stood at the controls and began to flip the final switches.

"So when are we going?" asked Thad.

"Well, I'd rather like to see the Great Roman Empire." said the professor as he flipped the oversized switch.

SHABLAMO
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End Episode VI: The Mechanics of Time Travel
Coming Soon: Episode VII: When In Rome...