"Oh come on!" Des yelled, slamming his hands on the table."You're a... a... mechanical plant thing!" he pointed at the vine which shook excitedly, and he slid his finger next to the coffee machine, "You're a coffee maker, an inanimate object for Christ's sake!"
It burbled happily.
"It's not a compliment!" he retorted, glaring at his old foe. "I mean, it's not like you guys NEED anything, so why do you always, always, have to take my money?" he pleaded as a small vine carefully wrapped around the pot in the middle of the table.
"I'm regretting teaching you guys how to play poker," he huffed, crossing his arms and fuming. "I'm not even sure how you play," he shot at the coffee machine. It puffed a wave of steam almost like a shrug.
"What do you even do with it?," he asked the vine, moping as he worked his way over to the supply closet and rummaged for a can of oil. The coffee maker slyly reached with a small arm and slipped a few cards under it, the vine innocently looking away as Des continued to mope his way back. He slipped on a pair of gloves and dabbed here and there while it slithered and twisted in pleasure. "How?" he asked, rubbing in the oil. "No, No, I'm not asking how you got on the internet, I gave you the cable last week, AND don't tell Chic, she thinks you're too young to be surfing the interweb."
"I know, I know, you promised not to, but I know how you get when she asks."
"No, I want to know how you got a credit card to be able to buy stuff."
"What do you mean, you just applied, you don't even...", he started putting the can away and stripping off his gloves. "What do you mean you got a social security number!"
He slid back into his seat, when he heard Chic moving upstairs. All three froze, waiting for quiet, like little boys about to be caught by their mother.
Des relaxed, the vine going limp with relief, and even the coffee maker gave a little puff when they heard Chic giggling and the lightning started flickering across the Zephyr Mark II.
"She's been going all night, readying herself for that grand entrance of hers."
The coffee maker bubbled pitifully.
"Don't you start," snapped Des, shuffling the cards, and flicking them one by one around the table. "You only got to make the coffee what, ever hour or so? I've been working 'round the clock since yesterday. Technically, this is my lunch break."
The vine wiggled a question while Des played the flop.
"Well I've been on lunch for about three hours now." Des smiled. "Chic won't notice it until she snaps out of that frenzy she works herself into." the round of betting moved it's way across the table.
"You know that one the Mads always do." he commented, laying the turn.
"I don't know really, I've been taking some night classes, trying to work on that degree," Des turned to the laughing plant and machine. "Hardy Har Har fella's, laugh it up," he fumed, the next round of betting over. "But, as I was saying, there isn't very much on Mads, its like the outside world ignores them. But they rely what they make!"
He pondered playing the river, and giving a low whistle. Four of a kind, he thought, plenty enough to get him back his money. "All in boys." he said pushing his money into the middle.
The coffee maker puffed warily, and called, the vine withering in indecision.
"In or out?", quiped Des sweetly, as the vine whipped around violently, and finally called.
"Four of a kind, Aces," Des smiled as the vine uncoiled in defeat.
The coffee maker steamed loudly, filling the air, as a small mechanical servo, inched out and filpped his cards.
Des's eye twitched as he read them, Royal flush.
He clenched his fist, shaking his head and glaring as the coffee maker gathered the money burbling happily away.
"I don't know how you do it," Des forced through clenched teeth, "But one day.... wait a minute..." he said spying the edge of a card under the machine.
"You cheating peice of scrap metal, I'm going to take you to the junkyard you littl-" He started, climbing over the table to reach the machine, when Chic burst through the door.
"I got it, I got it!" she bounced excitedly, "I know how we're go...ing... to... what are you doing?" she asked sweetly, steel slipping into her voice as Des wildly knocked over the table and the machine steamed innocently.
"N-n-nothing at all, Chic," Des said, flashing his widest smile, kicking the remaining cards not so gently under the coffee machine, who continued steaming as innocently as it could. The vine discreetly coiled the money, unnoticed into itself.