Comics by Shaenon II

Blood of the two most dangerous Mad families in the world, all the way back to the Storm King... I wonder what he could do if he *didn't* want to be nice...

"Wow."

"Don' see people like that very often, do ya?"

"Every now and then... Mister Tinker's the first one I've met in a while." Now that I think about it, I'm not sure the Risks are the most dangerous. They're just the loudest about it. Not that I would say that to any of them, of course. I like my organs where they are.

Fredric glares at another random guy wandering over. This probably wasn't the best costume for me- stupid voluntary arrest.

"So why're ya bein' so subdued?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, normally you wouldn' have any problems takin' out just about anyone who bothered ya, even if they are all Mad, but now yer talkin' about hidin' just ta avoid these guys."

"Oh. I guess I'm just kind of 'in character.'" Of course, there's only ever one set of circumstances where I wear nice clothes, which isn't really helping at the moment. "Do you know if any of your great-uncles are coming?" I change the subject. "I'd like to meet Mister Viktor and Mister Viktor at some point."

Fredric grins.
"Well, o' course they are. Uncle Vlad wouldn't be caught dead missin' 'is princess' party. Jest they can't come on time- they hafta crash it. Tradition 'n all." he said, tapping out another cig- he had to admit, they were pretty soothing. Kinda rasberryish.

"An' costume or not, you should kick loose. I think Xerox'd appreciate havin' his party partner back." he said sagely.

Well, there is one thing I can do...

I make eye contact with a nearby Hero, and he walks over. "Miss, I couldn't help but noticing-"

I reach behind my back and put my fingers into a few crevices on the wall. Suddenly, a pit opens up under his feet. "AAAAH!!!"

Fredric blinks. "How did ya do tha'?"

"There are about two dozen traps on the floor that can be controlled from around the club. I've seen the plans for the building, and I can remember most of them." Not to mention the traps in the walls, ceilings, chairs, tables- I like this club. "Of course, if they're used too often, the tigers might get full."

Although I would hate to feed the tigers anything but Heroes- it just seems wrong otherwise.

Minerva enters.. She's wearing an elegant green kimono, matching her eyes. Her red hair is worn long tonight.
Idly swishing her fox tail, she strolls around the room.
"Ah, Agrajag! What a splendid costume!"

Dr.Animo shoots Ingrid a look of triumph.
"See, Ingrid, I told you so! Even Foxwoman's read Douglas Adams."

"Of course, dear-I am a librarian. And I'm a kitsune."

"Bless you."

Minerva blinks. Ingrid grabs her by the arm, and hustles her over to Professor Tinker.
"Okay, what's your expert opinion? Miss Marple or Sherlock Holmes?"

She smiles. "How can one choose? But actually, I prefer Simon Templar. Or Mike Hammer. No, I take that back. Modesty Blaise, hands down."

The discussion starts all over again, but is soon interrupted. A hideous hag screeches like a banshee and swoops down from overhead, just low enough to make people duck, before vanishing.
Chic's getting better at those holograms.

As Minerva enters, David, as "Itsuki", turns his head and whistled a bit. He had to admit that she pulled off being a kitsune better than he had.

Then, all of a sudden, a pit opened up beneath him, and he fell downwards. "AAAAH!!!" he screamed, as he landed into a dark pit, hearing the snarling sounds of wild beasts in the shadows around him.

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As the SOS Brigade began to disperse into the crowd, "Haruhi" and "Kyon" were approached by a large, tentacled, green THING. It drew up to it's full height and waved a gun of some sort around. "Puny humans! I am Zorg, from a distant solar system. Divulge immediately to me the reason you wish to encounter alien life!"

There was a moment of silence between the three figures. Eventually, "Kyon", who stood over to the side, turned his head towards "Haruhi" and spoke. "Well? What do you think?"

"Haruhi" sighed and drew up to her full height, just a head shorter than "Kyon." She looked up at Zorg, and took a deep breath. "I don't have time to waste on ordinary Mad Scientists!" She turned and took several steps away.

Zorg blanched, his tentacles billowing. How DARE people keep comparing him to these fleshy earthlings?!? He pointed a tentacle over at her, poking her in the back. "Now see here, female, I am-"

"Haruhi" reached over and grabbed his tentacle, which broke off with a distinct snapping sound. "-wearing a costume." She scowled at him, and tossed the oddly juicy, still wriggling tentacle piece on the ground as Zorg stared at her in disbelief. "To be Brigade Chief one must possess a superior mind, capable of seeing through the most elaborate disguises. And you're just a fake-o who can't even put together a convincing Alien outfit!" She frowned and crossed her arms, turning away and walking off, leading "Kyon" along with her. After a moment's thought, she turned around. "And you should know how inappropriate it is to approach a schoolgirl from Japan while having that many tentacles!"

As they walked away, Richard, as "Kyon" leaned over and whispered into his fiancee's ear. "But you're not exactly from Japan... nor are you a schoolgirl..."

Lady Drezebel, as "Haruhi" whispered back. "But Haruhi is both...and I'm method acting tonight. You'd better too, 'Kyon.' Be patient, this is the only day of the year I get to do this. Now let's go find 'Mikuru' and 'Yuki' and make them wear funny outfits." The two lovers walked off into the crowd to search for other members of the Brigade.

As they passed just by Jane Narbon, a girl with long blue hair watched the three of them and smiled. Just watching and waiting had gotten so boring... She cut off a slice of a cake shaped like a werewolf with an abnormally large knife she had brought in with her, keeping an eye on her target...

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-David in the Tiger's Den-

David was understandibly a bit nervous, as a number of tigers circled him, licking their lips. He didn't have any of his traditional hero-ing equipment with him, all the space in his backpack had been taken up by his costume! And there wasn't any sort of technology or infrastructure he could work with down here, at least that HE could see...

Why the frig had that pit just suddenly opened up beneath him?

One of the Tigers, a large, graying male, stepped forward, snarled at him, and then leaned down to lock eyes with the collapsed human, his breath smelling faintly of raw meat.

"I say, good sir, would you fancy a saucer of tea?"

David blinked. "Err... I'm not the most knowledgeable about anything at all, but isn't Tea served in cups?" His mind caught up with his mouth. "Wait, aren't you going to try and eat me?"

"No hands, old chap. We much prefer saucers for tea. And we haven't garishly consumed a Hero in years, how brutish! We just allow the Club staff to continue believing we do. That way they leave us alone."

One of the other tigers, a younger female, nudged a saucer filled with warmed Earl Grey toward the young hero, who, after a moment o coming to terms with his situation, picked it up and took a gentle sip.

He'd say this was one of the stranger situations he'd been involved in, but it STILL didn't entirely compare with the time one of Professor Tinker's baby Gazebos had asked him to explain bi-partisan politics.

Trembling with rage, Zorg picks up the snapped off tentacle tip. How dare they? HOW DARE THEY!
One earth creature greets him welcomingly, with refreshing radioactive beverages. The next, after calling for aliens to come see them, offers him the supreme insult! Reports mention earthlings have a similar insult, called 'giving the finger'.
Mad! These fleshly beings are mad!
Haruhi finds herself grabbed, and wrapped in so many tentacles she can't move. Another tentacle holds his raygun next to her head. If Kyon makes a grab for him, he'll pull the trigger.
Zorg hisses menacingly, "Now, earth creature, shall I snap off one of *your* tentacles? Give me one good reason why I should refrain! And speak convincingly, before I love my temper!"

Wally turns back to Janitor. "Well, that was interesting. As for what we fight, it's obviously Cowboy Dinosaur Viking Cannibals. Kids these days..."

Janet laughs at his tone. "Of course. Silly me, I should have known. So, how's the dip?"

"Only mildy poisonious. So what are you doing around these parts?"

-"Haruhi" and "Kyon"-

Surprisingly enough to Zorg, the entangled girl didn't seem frightened at all. Actually, her eyes were shining with what seemed to be...enthusiasm?

"Oh wow! I was totally wrong about you! You really MUST be an alien of some sort!" She turned her head to address "Kyon", seemingly oblivious as to the fact that she was in any danger at all. "Isn't this so exciting? Maybe it's the last scion of a dead race! Or it came here to seek out allies for the losing side of an interplanetary war!" She practically seemed to froth over with something she hadn't had before: Interest. Zorg's gun-tentacle squirmed a bit against the trigger. It honestly, truly, had not expected this sort of reaction. These life-forms were quite strange.

"Kyon" looked up. "Perhaps, 'Haruki', but don't you also realize that it's pointing a weapon at your head?"

"Haruki" blinked and looked at the nozzle pointed at her forehead, as if noticing that a fly had landed on her. "Oh, hmm. That's simple enough to fix." She took a deep breath and paused for moment, which Zorg foolishly gave her. Then, she uttered one of the single most powerful words in the English language as loud as she could, for the whole club to hear.

"RAAAAAAAAPPPPPEEEEE!"

What happened next requires some explanation. As a general rule, Mad Scientists as a whole are not social creatures. Most of them are also male, and nerdy. Romance is a rare and treasured thing for them that happens all too rarely, and Sex is even rarer. As such, they have a tendency to be envious of those that do happen to find someone to love. To such people, the idea of forcing oneself upon another is almost always a horrifyingly repugnant concept: it's why most Mad Scientists aren't also well known as sex offenders and rapists as well as immoral men: They want the romance they feel they've been denied. Mad Scientists might mostly be evil, but still... even THEIR sensibilities can be offended at times.

The fact that the act was clearly a innocent and pure young Japanese schoolgirl being accosted by a tentacle monster (which is immensely stereotypical as well as disturbing) didn't help matters for Zorg at all. If anything, weapons were drawn FASTER because of it.

Even given that context, it's somewhat surprising that it happened so fast. Within a minute of the outcry, Zorg was seen fleeing Club Malevois as fast as his multiple tentacles could carry him, various energy-based weapons being fired wildly behind him. Inside the club, "Haruki" was surrounded by several of the female Mad Scientists present at the event, who were offering her words of comfort.

"Haruki" fake-sobbed quite convincingly. "It...it was horrible!"

One of her sympathetic well-wishers patted her back gently. "There, there... Bad thing's gone now."

Another one scowled and shook her fist. "Yeah, after the damage'd been done. Stupid oppressive male-ocracy..."

Oops. That was Mister Toboz, wasn't it? Oh, well, I'm sure he's learned how to get out of deathtraps by now. That's pretty much the first thing covered in Hero training.

Miss Haruki screams, and a number of Mads rush to take care of an alien that's attacked her. Nothing interesting there- I doubt there'll be any alien left in another few seconds.

I walk over to where Mister Tinker is talking to a kitsune and a detective. Something about how Holmes is the best detective.

...He *would* like Holmes.

He briefly pauses to introduce me to Ingrid, Dr. Amino's henchwoman, and Miss Minerva, a Mad librarian, then they resume their discussion. I listen for a few minutes, not recognizing any names besides Holmes's.

"What do you think?" The detective- Ingrid- asks me.

"Oh, well, I only know Holmes, and even then I've only read The Final Solution and The Valley of Fear, but I thought he was a pretty smart Hero." Oh dear, I don't think Miss Minerva approves of how poorly read I am. She's kind of scary. I back up a step.

Someone walks over. "Miss, is something bothering-AAAAAH!!" He falls through the floor.

Andrew chuckles, a surprisingly creepy sound. It's no different than his usual chuckle, but the costume.. well, if you can't see his mouth, you can't see him smile. And if you assume he's *not* smiling.... eeee.

"Now, now Minerva. Mystery novella is difficult to find- I'll lend you one of my collections- the short stories are easiest to get into. And Holmes is... well, certainly a grey hero at best." he said kindly, not even noticing the traps opening.
After enough pit traps, you just didn't even notice anymore....

"Hello, Jane."

I turned, recognizing the voice. It was me... almost. Sure enough, Maria Narbon was standing there. She was dressed up as Poison Ivy, wearing a green dress of leaves, vines twining all around her body and through her hair, setting off yellow skin and green lips.

"Oh... it's you," I said. She waved a hand. "Nice party you've got going."

"Thanks. I try."

"You know," said my double, raising one finger, "For such an exciting party, you don't exactly look like you're having fun."

On my trigger, a rotting hand reached out from under the buffet table and grabbed someone's ankle. "Fun? I'm having loads of fun," I retorted.

"Sure you are," she said. "I've used that look too many times to miss it. What's the matter?"

I couldn't believe that I was telling my (undeniably creepy) counterpart about my own emotional state, but... I was. And now I would have to deal with it.

"Well... it's just... all the things I used to love... manipulating people... having fun with them... it's starting to get a bit grey. Dull. ...boring."

MN smiled. "Well, I know the perfect cure for that," she said.

"What?"

"Go straight."

"...eh?"

"Stop manipulating people underhandedly for a while. No 'fun', no deviousness... then watch people's reactions."

"How will that... oh....."

"You'd be amazed what reactions you'll get. At first, people'll think you're planning something big. Then, they'll start believing that you really don't go in for that anymore. Then, they'll say you're really going to stay that way. Then..."

"Then... they'll all leave themselves open to-- wait a minute! You're Good, aren't you? Why are you helping me in this?"

"Well, you are my alternate universe counterpart. That's got to be worth something. Also, this way I get to boast at the next Association meeting that I stopped an extremely devious evil mastermind just by talking to her. That'll be worth more. And... well..." Her voice got a bit wistful. "I'm Good, yes, but it's more what you might call Pragmatic Good. By that token, you're almost certainly Pragmatic Evil. I don't know, but helping you out just feels right. Even if you are a bit abhorrent to me."

"Gee, thanks. For that, you get to know that I find you really creepy."

"You know, I've gotten that reaction before... I'm not sure why. Do you have any ideas?"

"(I can't believe I'm saying this)" I thought to myself, guiding MN over to a corner where we could talk (and watch the order-spiked-with-chaos that was the party.) "Hmm... come on. Maybe we can swap strategies or something..."

Commander Xerox finds himself engulfed in a hug, that, while not many tentacled, is still quite strong. A voice squees in his ear.
"PUUUDIN!"
"AcK! Leggo!"
Harley Quin, releases him, pouting. In harley's voice-"Oh, Mista J! Have you forgotten me already? I bet you didn't feed the babies, either." She scowls.
"Why, I oughta..." Words fail her, and she pulls out a pistol, pulling the trigger. A white flag pops out, bearing the word "BANG!". Harley giggles madly. "Psych! Ah...no hard feeling?"
Xerox, keeping in character, puts out his hand. "Nah...Put 'er there!"
Heh. He gets to use the joy buzzer on someone.
BZZAP!
And his green, purple striped hair is standing on end. She's overridden it, amplified it, and sent it back.
Still in a Harley voice-"Electricity? Against ME?" Giggling madly, she runs away.
Hmm...that was fun! What next?

Thaddeus banged open the door and walked directly to the bar. He ordered something called a "No Tomorrow."

He currently looked like himself but polka-dotted. Someone walked up to him, "So uh, what are you supposed to be?"

"Supposed to be. Same as always I wanted to be inconspicuous, but no drenched in mutagen, irradiated, weird injections. This happens every costume party. Worse this is the third time with the Hic-Hiccup"

He turned into a three foot tall dog-creature. He got the drink down in one sip. "Another."

Xerox calmly took out a switch-comb, setting his hair to rights. heh. He;d know that voice anywhere... but *chic* was over there. Which meant...
He scanned the room, mind scurrying- body shape, body language, face outline, profile, height- aha!
He smirked, spotting a match.
Nega Tinker, 'Freddy' Anti-Chic, and Maria Narbon- check, check, and check. He could only assume *his* alter- 'Tommy'- had weaseled out of having to go. The guy was a total introvert, for such a smug bastard.

He thought about doing something, before shrugging. Halloween. Room full of dangerous Mads and Hench. And so far, no funny stuff.
he;d give 'em a break. But he wondered... had anyone else spotted the duo? The costumes were a bit of a give away, to him.

Janitor is still and silent for a moment. It is such a contrast from the laughing woman of only a minute ago that Wally is - for a moment - made uncomfortable.

"Well," she begins, smiling again, "business, mostly. I make my living as a cleaning lady for Mads. I do lairs, labs, as much organization as they allow me to do, etc., etc. My specialty's recycling, so I use the trash for projects of my own. That business card, for example, was made using a black-and-white TV, a misfiring sonic screwdriver, and a few Spikes of Doom someone just left lying around.

"And recycled paper, of course," she adds, as Wally carefully examines the card for sharp, metal edges. "The spikes just held the paper in place.

Janitor reaches for an unguarded cup of what appears to be punch. "So what about you, Wally? What's your story?" She sips. Chemical changes begin to occur.

After retreating from the mystery detective discussion, I look around again. Some of the other guests seem... off, but I couldn't explain how.

I study one's back for a minute. He *is* off, but it's almost impossible to tell if I'm not looking for it. It makes me wish I had my hyper-glasses.

Well, for someone to be off by that small an amount, they must come from nearby. He turns around- it's Mister Tinker.

Oh, of course they would know their mirrors, and invite them to a party. I hope Rose isn't here. Still, I wonder what Mister Mirror-Tinker is like.

I edge my way through the crowd- there aren't any convenient trap controls in this area, and people keep trying to stop me. Fortunately, about half of them are determined to 'rescue' me from the other half. A few fights break out, and I keep walking. I *really* should have said no when she pointed the blaster at my head and showed me those blackmail pictures. Oh, well.

"Um... Hello, Mister Mirror-Tinker."

"So, you guys weren't always intelligent?" David lifted the saucer, spilling only a little bit of his drink on the ground, and took a slurp.

The eldest male tiger nodded. "Not at all! It happened several years ago, when they dumped some hero that had been injected with an experimental chemical down here... of course we devoured the fellow, and he was quite tasty, but while we were dining suddenly we began cogitating, discovering concepts such as algebra and oration." The Tiger grinned. "These days we usually procure meat from the local butchery... there's far too much there for the humans to ever eat before it gets bad."

David grinned. "You all seem so well-adjusted! I can honestly say this is the least threatening death trap I've ever been in."

The eldest female gave him a toothy grin. "Indeed! Our eldest, Khan, is even going to be starting at a local college soon, thanks to some wonderful people involved with the government. He'll be double-majoring in Predatory Arts and English."

David paused, the mental image of Andrew Tinker confronting a teenage Tiger in his classroom making him honestly wonder which would back down first. "Ah...that's...nice for him." He stood up, thanked his hosts for the company, and walked towards the glowing exit doors, exiting the Club and entering a subterranian cavern which led to an entrance just at the front doors. Shrugging, he walked back inside after the pleasant moment.

"Oh, nothing big. Going to college, trying to learn something without blowing up the premises, the usual. Oh, and between you and me, don't worry too much about having a Dark and Mysterious Past. I swear, I'm the only person I know who don't have one."

"Hmph." Janitor says, non-commitally.

"I mean, I don't know for sure, but you just seem like the type. It's your choice on the mysterious point, of course. Anywho, did you ever hear about when I catapulted Lagos at Dr. Amino's lair? That ones a fun story."

Nega-Tinker turned, surprised, Someone had recognized him? He'd figured no-one would for at least another hour. Well, unless of course Freddy- who was chatting with someone in a Japanese schoolgirls uniform about dimensional travel- was unable to resist picking a fight with Fredric.

He was dressed in black- and not his usual preferred sleek velvety black, but the shabby dull black of a man who just didn't want to choose between clothing. His face had been made narrower by application of makeup, and his hair shortened. He had a short beard, and his glasses had been left behind.

Who better for a Dictator than Vetinari? Besides, it allowed for a naturally low-key profile.

"Nega-Tinker, actually. Good evening miss...?" he blinked, looking closer- the frame was familiar, and...

"Ah. Miss Rose's alternate- you must be Claire. Good eye, miss. Little Andy doesn't yet know I'm even here. I like to check up on him now and then- his powers may, in a way, surpass mine, but he is so naive. One of these days, he;s going to get himself hurt, you know?" he said, taking her hand and shaking, firmly.
He still wasn't sure what Freddy was here as- he'd tried to explain, but Nega-Tinker hadn't quite gotten it. Something about a lazy town or some such.

Janet pouts inwardly. Hers isn't much of a dark and mysterious past, but neither does she particularly care to go into it. At times she's wondered if she'd appear more trustworthy with full disclosure. There are times... But then, why live a dual life at all? Why not introduce herself as Janet Torvalds, former English major, current recycler?

Because it's not as fun, that's why.

Luckily Wally doesn't seem expect an answer, and graciously offers a change in topics instead.

"I'd be happy to - urk!" The punch drops to the floor. Janitor's vision goes a bit blurry, and she grabs at a nearby... something... to keep the dizziness at bay. The dust mites scramble to give her space and to avoid the punch. Wally wonders if it's too late to start worrying about Dark and Mysterious Pasts.

When the feeling passes, Janitor straightens up and heaves a sigh of relief. Wait, something's not right. A quick glance down - "Aw motherfudge," he says, voice uncharacteristically deep.

"On the bright side, you're the right gender for your costume now, wot wot?" Wally replies.

((I'm sorry, did I say "chemical changes"? I meant "genetic changes". And hormonal changes. ^^))

"Yes," Janet hisses, and looks at Wally, "but don't you think that your costume would be improved by a feminine touch?"

Picking up the punch bowl, Wally considers. "Ah, no, not really. In fact, I think I'm going to warn everyone." Turning towards the crowd, Wally waves his arms to get attention. "Hey, everybody, the punch... that I just spilled... all over you all... You know, I'll just take cover now." Diving behind the table, he whispers to the male Janitor. "Don't worry, they'll stop firing in a few minutes, once Jane and Chicgeek get them all back to the approprite genders."

"You mean the two women over there, laughing their heads off at you?"

"Yes, those two. Now, I just hope Professor Tinker doesn't remember who spilled the punch on him. Wait, laughing? As in not planning to help?"

"That would appear to be the case."

"Fiddlesticks. Professor's going to make me grade more papers after this."

Harley-a.k.a. Alt Chic-buzzes merily about the room. How could she not prank Xerox, with his choice of outfit? Oh, this will be fun. Especially when her cousin meets his alternate, and Freddy and Fredric get into it. Silly boys. And there's a kareoke machine-maybe her counterpart is more evil than she thought. Hmm, Maria and Jane are having a cozy little chat. They seem to get along just fine, despite the good/evil thing.
Herself? Evil, schmevil. Being mad is something to enjoy. And what better way to have fun than to sow a little chaos?
Ooh, a tray of mints! Now that she can have fun with. There's Alt-Caine on the other side of the table. She slips a few mints into brownies, to make a chocolate mint treat. Now, let's start the fun with him....why is he waving that bowl of punch around?
Oh, @!#. Her spandex harlequin outfit is now snug enough to be indecent.
She takes aim and joins the wildly firing throng.

Suddenly, from amidst the crowd of gender changed mads, a very angry female Viking Cowboy Dinosaur Cannibal got up and screamed. "Waalllly!!"

"Yes?"

"No, not you. I was yelling my own name to the heavens, as a prelude to some tirade about how I'm supposed to be male in public."

"In public?"

"Ask Francine. Ever since she and Maria started hanging out together..." Wally II smiles. "Anyways, I'd be having a good old rampage right about now, if you didn't have the same name... and an opposite costume... Your my mirror, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I guess we have to fight now. I mean, for the show at least."

"Ahh, well then, mon, I guess I betta be in character mon."

"Jolly good then. Chop, chop, let us put on a good show."

Disregarding the wildly firing mads, the two go at it, only occasionally puctuated by "Oww, yeah, your arms on the other side." and "How'd you get that scar?"

"You don't want to know."

"Come on, tell me, please."

"Can't. I wiped the memory."

It was entertaining enough that some mads stopped firing. Only some, however.

I nod. Naive Heroes are the easiest to hurt. I'm glad someone's keeping an eye on Mister Tinker.

Suddenly, punch splashes across the crowd. It doesn't reach us, but a large number of people immediately swap genders. Mister Nega-Tinker chuckles. Interesting, he sounds just like Mister Tinker when he does that.

"It's nice that you get along with your mirror." They seem like a basic Hero/Villain swap. That's probably one of the better kinds.

"I take it you and Miss Rose don't get along?"

"I *like* Mad Science. That should tell you enough."

He chuckles again. "Yes, she is a bit irate about the whole thing, isn't she? How did the two of you meet, anyway?"

"Oh, I was just dumped in the mirror-verse-"

"Call it the Nega-verse. You're in the Posi-verse." I guess that makes sense. Easier than trying to figure out where the speaker comes from, at any rate.

"Sorry, the Nega-verse, and told 'play nice with your double.' She wasn't Mad at that point, and I almost managed to kill her before I got pulled back. Then I was told I wasn't allowed to go to the Nega-verse anymore." I roll my eyes. "I did, of course, after I turned nine, but she was Mad then, and, as you may have noticed, she likes guns a lot."

I watch as a number of angry Mads fire at the refreshment table.

"I bet you that table achieves sentience in the next 30 seconds."

earlier...
Ingrid grins-it was so nice to have an intelligent conversation for once without mentioning the functionality of tinfoil hats over aluminum. "Well, myself, I somewhat prefer Agatha Christie over Doyle. I would have dressed as Hercule Poirot, but I'd rather not give anyone any excuses to mess with my gender tonight." She laughs.

present time...
A tall, blond man wearing a tweed jacket and skirt readies a sonic raygun. "I just had to say that, didn't I?" Ingrid mutters to himself, "I just had to say something witty and ironic, didn't I? &#$%ing Dramatic Irony. &#$% Murphy's Law." Then, after a short pause, "I really should have gone as Poirot instead. This skirt is just embarrassing."

Meanwhile, Amino, conveniently on the other side of the room from the gender-swap mayhem, looks for potential targets. "Hmm..." she murmurs to herself, "let's see...the Red-Coated One's talking to Ingrid and Fox-Woman right now, so I can't attack him right now, I lost track of the Green-Clad Man after he fell through that trapdoor, Wally Caine seems to busy fending off an attack already..." Then she notices someone familiar. "Hey, look, it's Kiwi-Head!" She readies her raygun and approaches her target.

Alt Chic pauses her firing, suddenly remembering her pocket of mint laded treats procured before the table went blooey. She can switch back anytime! And it's not like she's never been gender swapped before. If she just had a change of costume....no one would recognize her!
Well. Almost no one.
Eyes narrowing, she searches for a male about her current size.
WAM! A hapless mad is clunked over the head and dragged off to the restrooms.

Jess is watching the gender changed mads having hysterics, and is laughing herself sick.

Chic turns to Jane and grins.
Best.Party.Ever.

Xerox dived for cover as soon as the punch flew in the air, taking shelter behind some poor behemoth who was quickly introduced to double-D's. He glanced at the chaos, chuckling to himself before spotting Amino.

"Oh, god in heaven- I'm not Aurthur Dent you know." he snarked.

Andrew didn't fair so well. He stood stark still of a second, feeling the familiar, horrible minty tingle.
Ingrid glanced at him.
"Oh, did you not get hit? You look the same as-"

"Don't say it." he hissed, twitching slightly.
THIS was why he hated being gender swapped. What did everyone always say?! Oh, you look exactly the same!! No height difference, no shift in frame!
Andrew was many things. Vain was inthe top-ten. And for his own sanity, he liked to delude himself that he was handsome. NOT pretty. NOT girly. But when a gender swap only meant the difference in SHIRT size...

He lept onto a table, cape swirling menacingly.
"There is a biologist here, more than one. An antidote. NOW."

Nega-Tinker raised his eyebrow, rolling his eyes slightly.
"I'll take that bet. My, he can be so dramatic, can't he? Considering he *could* just re-write himself male... bah. All that power, no drive. Well, although I *did* mess with lord of The Flies... used to have a rather cheerful and uplifting message about basic human decency before *I* got to it." he said, chuckling slightly.

The ending to Lord of the Flies- I giggle. Someone nearby shudders, looks at me, and starts to edge away.

Mister Nega-Tinker raises an eyebrow. "Not bad."

"Oh- thank you. That's the only laugh I could get without practice." I watch Mister Tinker ranting on the table. It looks like most of the biologists are too scared to approach him. "It's more entertaining when he's so dramatic like that, anyway."

Mister Nega-Tinker looks back at the first table. "It seems to have disintegrated."

"It could still have achieved sentience."

"True." He turns back to Mister Tinker.

A thought strikes me. "Do you suppose this stuff uses the standard Narbon gender-change antidote?" I start to grin.

Maria and I actually seem to get along better than I expected. The conversation's shifted from strategies to stories and many points in between. And right now...

I pull a little device out of a pocket. Pushing a button makes a hologram of the club appear, aimed so that only we can see it.

"Well, in addition to the traps already built into the club, me & Chic might have messed with the food, the drinks, the tables, the chairs, the floor, the ceiling, the decorations, those vases of dead flowers on every table, various well-positioned door handles, and a few other things," I say, colored dots appearing on the hologram to denote the various things awaiting the unwary. "And, I've got a few little tricks of my own to play, too," I say, showing off my fangs.

"You know..." Maria appears to have been thinking things over. "It's a party, after all, and it would probably do us some good to let our hair down."

"Sounds good," I say. I produce a duplicate of my special remote, the one that's wired to all of the club's surprises. Maria takes it and hides it in a secret pocket, so that she can trigger it with only a small movement. Me and MN each hide some sort of device in our hands as well. For me, it's a ring; I can't see what Maria's is.

"Well, I'm ready..."

"We're set..."

"So let the good times roll!"

Then, together, we step out into the room, to cause as much chaos as will fit.

Nega Tinker rubs his beard, pondering the question.
"Hmmm. Hard to say- I certainly *hope* not." he said, chuckling slightly- nearby, frost crept over a few punch cups.

"Good one. Why not?"

"What, you don't know already? Andy's a prude- or at least he thinks he is. Really, he just has terrible luck. Comes from going over the base laws of reality mixed with too much Holmes at a younge age. All relationships|If=Hero Endrun:Failure(Death/mishap/kidnapp--illogic/) and all that." he said casually.

"And you're not?" she asked curiously.

"Heavens, no. Of course, I'm a taken man now- but that;s mostly because my deary would probably kill anyone who tried anything." he said cheerfully.