Comics by Shaenon II

Mad science has never been so cute!
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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 7:56 pm 
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-More Grades From the Judges!-

Titus

"Originality: 7.5, Intimidation: 9"

"Umm... I don't want my house to go kerplooie... but I'm not sure this is what they're suppose to be doing. Can I not vote this time?"

"Of course you can, little miss! We'll grade enough for you! Intimidation: 8.5, but originality only a 7. Every Mad's lost a place at one point. They'll just rebuild!"

"Shows what all you know. Finally, someone whose doing something interesting! Maybe this show won't be a snoozefest after all. Intimidation: 8, Originality: 10"

"I don't quite like you antagonizing your fellow judges, young lad!"

"Yeah, well, I don't quite like your face, so there!"

"Children, children! Settle down."

"Well, I wasn't expecting that! On intimidation: This one is certainly intimidating. It was like Miss Narbon's display, saying that he has power over you. However, it's not as personal, and only destroying their houses doesn't really make sense to me. 6.5/10. On Originality: it certainly serves to get the message across. That said, it's not really a rant is it? So I'll have to take a few points off in my book. 7/10."

"I'm going to have to go with you on that. I'm going with the same scores: Intimidation: 6.5, Originality: 7."

"It got the point across, and you can't claim it wasn't original. Originality: 10. Intimidation: 9."

"Alright. So we've got average scores of 8 for Originality, and 8 for Intimidation. A very solid score which elevates the dark horse mad Titus into the ranks of those most likely to make it to the second round! Let's give him a hand, folks!"

Dr. Amino

"Well, the pie was new, and I think that's the first ever funny rant I've ever seen. Not too bad. I give it an Originality of 6. Unfortunately, being funny is not the sort of thing that gets many people shivering. She'll have to work a bit harder at instilling fear next year. Her intimidation score is a 2.5"

"I dunno... she's a classic example of someone whose too odd to suspect anything suspicious from. And that makes her suspicious. I'd give her an intimidation rating of 8, and an originality rating of 8. She's trying, we can clearly see that."

"Meh. Intimidation: 4.5, Originality: 5. It wasn't anything too far out of the norm."

"...Intimidation: 2. Originality: 10."

"Wa-hey! That was ok. Intimidation: 6, Originality: 6. I'll say I quite like that Amino lass!"

"Hmm...well, I found it scary. Intimidation: 8.5, Originality: 7.5. I'll never look at baked goods the same way again!"

"I again choose to abstain on this one. So we've got an average Intimidation score of 5, and an Originality score of 7. Her chances are a little bit shaky, but if enough people disappear or if too many people score lower than her... she still has a shot."

Frederic

"Umm...didn't we already kinda see a trick like that with the mike?"

"You mean what Miss Chicgeek did. And it's not really as scary the second time around, just like every horror movie ever made. Intimidation: 5. Originality is where he really shined, though. On that he gets a 8.5"

"I agree. You don't often see a Mad ranting in someone's defense. It's usually about how they'll show them all. And the ending was pretty perfect. Originality: 10. Intimidation: 6.5"

"Wah ha ha ha hah! The kid's got spirit! I'd love to see him back it up! Originality: 8.5. Intimidation: 7.5."

"On Originality: That certainly isn't the standard rant subject. It's rather fresh, actually. 8.5! But on Intimidation: Um. This wasn't half as intimidating as some. The mike trick only works once, folks, and Chic was the 'once'. There was plenty of anger and fire, but the accent kinda poked holes in the effect. The content was not exactly very fear-inspiring, either. Only a 4 there."

"I dunno... that accent kinda ruins the effect for me. He's just too cute to be scary! I really didn't see how this worked... aw, did it go over my head? Intimidation: 6.5, Originality: 7."

"...Originality: 9. Intimidation: 9."

"I'm impressed... than again, the Tinkers are very high level Sparks, so it's to be expected. Originality: 7.5, Intimidation: 7.5, so we're looking at an average Intimidation score of 6.5, and an Originality score of 8.4. Another solid entrant!"

Wallycaine

"Oh wow! He's so cool! That voice is sexy! Intimidation: 10, but an Originality of only 8.5. Is he single?"

"Down girl! Let's keep things professional here. Intimidation: only 7, but you don't really see much of the 'whatever you do, I can undo' thing here. I gotta give him credit for that: Originality: 8."

"Regarding Originality: Fiery, but not very original. Making, unmaking... it's all pretty standard. There were a few good points, though. 'I will be still standing' was a nice touch. I'd give it a 5.5. On intimidation: That was nice! The Madness Voice thing was pretty good, and the content scores reasonably up there on the Intimidation scale. That being said, it sorta weakened a bit at the end. Maybe instead of "I will be still standing", he should have said "I will make a stand." A 6 out of 10."

"...Originality: 7, Intimidation: 5.5. It's defiant, but not scary."

"...Holy crap. You actually talk? What the fnord?"

"..."

"I'm...kinda...creeped out by that too."

"Me too!"

"I as well!"

"Even I'm freaked out by that."

"Regardless, I have to admire the lad's spirit. Let's give him an Originality of 8.5, but it doesn't frighten at all. He only gets an intimidation of 3.5."

"In terms of true talent, he could probably back up those claims. Originality: 7, and Intimidation: 7."

"I dunno. I'm not entirely impressed. Intimidation: 6, Originality: 6.5."

"Alright... so we've got a total average of 6.4 for Intimidation, but a rating of 7.3 for Originality. A solid entrant, definitely!"

(Prof. Andronicus: For space purposes, will be done with the last batch of round 1 entrants.)

"Alright... will the remaining Mads not called please ascend to the stage, one by one?"

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


Last edited by Zobot257 on Sun Nov 30, 2008 8:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 8:10 pm 
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I poke Jennifer. "There's going to be a whole bunch of Mads on the stage at once. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yeah, but the Maddog stand isn't going to be blown up for the 40th time for a while. So what?"

"No, no. The other thing that I'm thinking."

"Oh! Right. Sounds like fun. Do you have enough materials?"

"Yup!" We approach the stage. On the way, one of the MSO operatives approaches me.

"Excuse me Miss NE, but we've been instructed not to let you within fifty feet of the stage, *especially* during this part."

"Wait, why? Everyone else is allowed, and they're..." My voice trails off and my eyes widen. "Oh. Oh. I didn't even think of that. That's a great idea!" I clap my hands. "Jennifer, can I borrow Alceste for a minute or two?" He shouldn't be affected- I've been watching him, and I'm pretty sure he'll be ok.

She blinks, then a grin spreads slowly across her face. "NE?"

I nod, grinning. The MSO operative looks apprehensive, at least until I knock him out. And I *know* they can't throw me out for this- I have read the rulebook, after all. I just usually ignore it.

_________________
"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

Spam Poison. I think.


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 8:23 pm 
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Amino nods when she hears her scores. "Not bad, I guess."

Ingrid shrugs. "I still think you ought to have gotten at least a seven in both categories, ma'am."

"Thanks, Ingrid, but let's be honest: I'm not exactly intimidating in the traditional sense. So really, my only option is to try to be intimidating by not being intimidating. That was the point of the speech. It was pretty impossible for me to score well in this category, because doing so would have undermined my entire argument. So, really, my speech was a success."

"That does make an unusual amount of sense, ma'am. But it does mean you might not make it into the next round."

"True, but they did say if enough people disappeared I still had a shot at making the cut. And a lot of people tend to disappear during the Prix, so I wouldn't count myself out just yet."

"You really have thought this through, haven't you, ma'am?"

"I tend to do that sometimes when I'm tired of making festive tinfoil hats and pies."


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 8:47 pm 
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Chic continues strolling about the grounds. She has a clear shot at Wally, but refrains. Farnsworth quizically raises an eyebrow. Chic smiles. "I'd rather fight him face to face...and during one of the rounds, not as a sniper attack. It's the least I can do."
He sighes inwardly-yes, she's a jaeger, all right. Ah, romance.
Chic is finding quite a bit of material to work with, with all the free for alls going on in the crowd. She casually aims something at the stage. Nothing happens. Again, from another angle. Again. Still nothing.
She smiles.
Farnsworth's eyebrow lifting is getting quite the workout. Chic murmurs-"Just keep watching-as much as I've weakened the supports for the stage now, once it's full of mads..."
They exchange toothy grins.

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 8:52 pm 
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Fredric huffs, ears flopping slightly.
"Sheesh, the mic, the mic! Wots wi' harping on just that I wanna know! I wasn;t even *trying* to destroy it... bah." he humphed, crossing his arms.

"It's a fine score, and you know it. As a first time entrant, its an *amazing* score." Micheal said, rolling his eyes at his theatrics. Really, had he expected them to be scared of a bunny?

"Bah... yeh. Yeah. I guess. Dammit, why is no-one ever *scared* of me? I mean, i know that;s the *point* of a Vorpal Rabbit, but really..."

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 9:13 pm 
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"I'm sure dat they're jes' having trouble grading yours on-a-count'a how good it was," said Radcliffe to the Professor. Radcliffe knew he was lying. The Professor was old school, there was no denying it. His rant would go for close to zero on originality-and the intimidation can only carry so far.

"I'm gonna go take out a couple more people ok," he said.

"Mmmhmmm," said Prof. Andronicus as he built a bomb out of things he found under his seat.

Radcliffe shot a couple people to ease his nerves. Then he saw him, that kid-Tinker-the bunny.

Now some people assume that Radcliffe is unintelligent. That is always their last mistake. Radcliffe checked for Frederic's hearing. He made a quick, high pitched whistle and watched the reaction.

He mentally cursed himself, for picking this kid out, but he'd had such a high score he couldn't resist. He watched for a moment. He realized that there would be a lot of steps to this one.

He ran off to set up his trap. Then from behind him-

KA-BOOM

"Well at least someone's havin' a good time."


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:06 am 
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The MSO operatives are looking around frantically. I guess they have some idea of what I'm doing. I stand with the crowd onstage, waiting...

*CRASH* The stage falls, collapsing under the Mads standing on it. I figured someone else would target the stage. Pity they didn't go for an explosion. Ah, well. I can still work with this.

Alceste yells loudly behind me. "Ow! Hey, I'm just a henchman!"

I jump up onto the top of a pile of rubble near the front of the stage and grab the microphone. Everyone can see me. Now, I'm not entered in the competition, but nothing says I'm not allowed to borrow the microphone for a few minutes.

And any MSO operative that gets close to me is going to get hit by Jennifer, standing nearby with a gun full of Pacifist darts- she thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

"Why do the henchmen and henchwoman always get hurt?" I yell as loud as I can, filling my voice with outrage and hurt. This is going to be fun! "We slave away under our masters and mistresses, doing the heavy lifiting, the grunt work, and for what? Measly wages and maybe a place to sleep! And how do they pay us back? We're collateral damage! We're completely expendable! Half the time when a hench gets killed, it's accidental, and you know what? They don't even care! You think your union does anything? They watch the union! They'll give you something simple like a paradox vaccine just so you don't complain when they steal your body parts! Our lives are worthless! We'll last maybe a couple of years before they trade us in for a newer model, an upgrade, because we're just pieces of equipment! You think you're a human being? You're wrong! You're just a means for your master or mistress to get one step closer to their ultimate goal! Do you even know who you're working for?"

Silence. The Mads blink, confused. The henchmen, on the other hand, are staring in wide-eyed shock. Hmm... That wasn't as strong as I'd like. I probably only got a fraction my targets.

I think that will probably work out only be around 3% of the henches here. It doesn't seem like much, but it isn't bad for a general, improvised sweep. And there really are a *lot* of henches here- it's a big event. I pause for a minute, watching as the full reality of what I said sinks in. Watching as my words take effect.

Then I grin. Speaking more softly now, I address the crowd again. "And Mads, do you know who, or what is working for you?" I giggle coldly, and watch as members of the crowd shiver.

Then someone shoots. The crowd bursts into chaos. Laughing, I run down to where Jennifer's standing. I should probably deal with the MSO operatives now. They might be a bit annoyed. I hope Mistress isn't. From a practical standpoint, all I really did was take out some of the weaker competition. Plus, I was *bored.*

One of the MSO operatives starts to shake of the effects of the dart. "Nng... what did you do? There shouldn't be this much chaos just from some of the henches turning on their masters..."

"Tell me, what group has the highest percentage of Mad latents? And also, what group is under the most stress and exposed to the most Maddening circumstances?"

He stares at me, horrified. "You didn't..."

"It's not as bad as it sounds, really. Anyone who's Mad now probably would have gone Mad soon anyway- if a single speech could make them lose, it, they were pretty close to the edge to begin with. Can I have my explosives back now? I was really sad when you guys took them all." Granted, it doesn't seem like a speech should have been able to drive anyone Mad to begin with, but a lot of people drastically underestimate the power of perfect sincerity in a speech.

_________________
"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

Spam Poison. I think.


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 6:45 pm 
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As the MSO operative speaking with Claire gasps and sputters at her query, and the contestants of the arena break out into chaos, as Henchmen attack Mads and Mads attack henchmen, Unkillable Eddie stepped behind him and sighed, a finger on his temple, his eyes closed. "Young lady, exactly how much do you underestimate us?" He opened his eyes and stared at her, scowling. "This is one of the biggest gathering of Mads and latants outside of the Mad Sci Convention. MSO upper management has known fully well the risks and dangers they were calling upon themselves." He narrowed his eyes. "I think it's time to remind everyone who exactly is in charge here. I will say one thing: Nothing, nothing, has happened thus far this year that we have not permitted." he removed a cell phone from his pocket and put it up to his right ear, auto-dialing a number. "This is Eddie. I need the R-Unit for miscreant #345748 transmitted via a generated wormhole to coordinates 437:235, with a stable velocity of 40 m/s. Oh, and contact Nurse Joy in the infirmary. We have a mass emergence of Madness and she's the only person we have on staff with the qualifications to manage a large amount of psychological trauma."

A round, black hole in space/time opened in front of Claire, as a shiny metal blur slammed into her, both of them rolling backwards due to the momentum involved. Claire looked up at the thing on top of her and saw a contorted, metallic caricature of her own face glaring back. Eddie walked up behind them both and looked down at her. "Meet Robo-Cl41r3." he yawned. "After all the trouble you've caused us in earlier years, the boys down in MSO R&D were tasked with creating an effective foil for you if you started causing any real trouble." he put his cell phone away. "She's programmed to be twice as strong and fast as you are, and has no higher priority than to destroy you, save preserving her own existence." He faintly smiled. "You'd better defeat her quickly. If we get to the second round before you've finished, as Master of Ceremonies I'll have to rule that Jane Narbon won't be allowed to use ANY henchman during the Henchman Obstacle Course... and imagine how annoyed she'll be if she finds out she has to choose between using a Plush Hench-Buddy or being disqualified." He turned and walked away, murmuring quietly to himself. "That oughta keep her out of our hair for a minute or two..."

He climbed back up onto the stage and stood in front of the constantly-replaced Microphone. He took a light breath, and then shouted.

"SILENCE!"

And there was. For a brief moment, Unkillable Eddie glowed with a fearsome black aura, and his face grew emaciated and foul. For a whole second, the attention of everyone in the stadium was focused directly on him. In that moment, he was the only thing that existed. And then the moment had passed, as he spoke again. "You louts! You bunch of infantile fools! Are you really this easily manipulated?" Any pretense of his earlier cheer had vanished from his face. "Right now I realize that many of you are in a very delicate state. Many of you probably feel betrayed. Enraged. Hurt. Vengeful. You're all discovering that, after years of being downtrodden and experimented on, you suddenly have power, and you want to use it to lash out at the people who hurt you. I will say this only once, so you'd all better listen clearly: None. Of. You. Are. Special. At. All." He scowled out at the audience. "Do any of you have any idea how old I am? When a mad reanimated the first corpse, I existed. When a Mad harnessed lightning for the first time, I was there." He took a breath. "I can say from experience: Everything you are feeling has been felt by someone before. So you've been abused? So you've had organs taken from you, or your head turned into a flyhead? So what? The universe isn't fair, and there have been people out there who have had it far worse off than you." He flung his right hand out through the air with a flourish. "Your lives are exponentially more pleasurable than those of your ancestors. You have so much in abundance that Mads or henchmen would have and probably did kill for two hundred years ago. And instead of counting your blessings you fall over and snap because of some workplace abuse? I could remember the days when Sparks actually had REAL reasons to emerge!" He laughed bitterly.

Out in the audience, many of the emergent Mad henchmen began to break down crying. Soon, MSO operatives were leading them away to the Infirmary, where they were told that the kind and friendly Nurse on duty would take care of them and make them feel better. The MSO agents were lying through their teeth.

Unkillable Eddie stood up to his full height and put his hands in his pockets. "Of course, there are always a few of you who are saying things like "Screw this! I just want to kill things!" or "FoOlS! I'll make you all pay!" He sighed. "In that case: take me on." He clenched his fists. "Mad Scientists do impossible things as easily as they breath, and newly emerged Mads are at their highest potential. Surely ONE of you should be able to kill me, and after what I've just said, most of you probably want to. But I'll warn you... I've been bashed, crashed, smashed, bled, red, written out, smacked, whacked, cracked, tortured, mind controlled, beaten, stepped on, burned, churned, paper cut'd, cooked, choked, drown, pickled, beheaded, and humiliated. I've even had the unpleasant experience of being disintegrated into disassociated individual subatomic particles. And every single time I got better. So I certainly hope at least one of you've got something up your sleeve that's actually halfway original." The remaining enraged Henchmen began to follow him as he walked out of the arena. With a suddenly cheerful expression on his face, he turned and waved at the stage. "Bye! Judges, MSO agents: I'll probably be back in a couple of hours. I leave the rest of the first round in your semi-capable hands."

In a few short moments, the group had departed, and the MSO agents were able to quell the remaining snippets of disorder. A single agent took to the stage and stood in front of the Microphone. "Sirs, there are only a few remaining Mads left to give rants. Will any Mad Scientist who has yet to participate come forward and get in line to participate now? Once everyone else has finished, we will have last year's victor take to the stage, so that everyone can shoot at him, and he will give his rant."

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 7:42 pm 
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Let's see, the second round's coming up pretty soon, so I'd better destroy this thing pretty quickly. Sheesh, he sounds annoyed. I was there when the first Mad harnessed lightning, too, but you don't see me going on about it. Also, I seem to be flying very quickly toward that wall- I guess she decided to start by throwing me into a building.

*CRASH*

Owww... That hurt more than it usually does.

"HEY! That's my COUSIN!" I don't know what kind of death ray that is, but she sure built it quickly. And she's really, really angry. Uh oh. Robo-Cl41r3 turns and grabs the death ray, smashing it. Wow, she's fast. And, of course, I'm not going to let my baby cousin get hurt by some sort of killer robot.

"Jennifer, MY evil double!"

She blinks. "But-"

Oh @#$%, the robot's coming at me again. As I dart off, I yell. "MY evil double, MY problem!" Let's see, if I can run at speed v, and Robo-Cl41r3 can run at speed 2v, and she's distance d from me now...

Well, the answer is clearly d, but I don't see how that helps, because I don't know what happens after t= d/v. I also don't know the actual values for d or v. I throw some explosives at her as I run.

So, she's twice as strong and twice as fast as me. Does she have any fighting knowledge? Probably- programming that sort of thing isn't too hard. I might be able to hold my own in a fight, but I don't see how that would help me destroy her. Maybe some highly-concentrated acid, or perhaps I should just start stealing death rays and firing them at her. I'll figure out something. After all, it's not the first time I've fought a 'superior' version of myself.

Of course, all this would be easier if I weren't so distracted by curiosity at how she's put together. Darn it!

_________________
"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

Spam Poison. I think.


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:45 am 
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Andrew stepped smoothly through the mild chaos in the crowd. Oh dear... Miss Claire really does have an interesting mind. Clever, very clever... that probably skimmed a decent 2.5% of the competitions Henchmen *right* out.
It seemed, somehow, like the sort of thing Xerox would do... were he less honorable than he pretended not to be, of course.

He easily stepped up to the stage, walking past the startled man who called the Mads up.
"Ah, hello Bartholomew. Be a dear and announce me, would you? Ah ah ah- I know, I know. I;m not to be called yet. For *some* reason, I've been scheduled to speak last ever since my first year." he smiled, which seemed to only fuel the slight shaking from the man named 'Bartholomew'.

"But the crowd is still edgy, don't you think? And I plan on calming them down." Oh, he was lying through his teeth, at that. He was taking advantage of it. High originality, low intimidation... it was the Tinker curse in this sort of thing.

But he was not just a Tinker. And right now, he was not the 'Hero' Andrew, the man who traveled the globe with luck and a grin. Or even the 'real' Andrew, known well by familly and friends.
No.

He was the *other* Andrew.... the Teacher. The one who sent freshmen fleeing to avoid his cheerful glance, who's step could cause a rash of sudden religious reverence. The one with the Throne. The one who expected nothing less than the best from you, no excuses.

"Will Andrew Omega P(squared) Risk Tinker take the stage?" the announcement wavered slightly, and Andrew walked calmly on stage. Sayasuke flanked him, standing at the front of the stage, quietly.
Most of the crowd had seen the Hero Fights- the appearance of the pale demon won a small amount of quiet apprehension.
The rest of the quiet was purely garnered by the fact that Andrew was Smiling, a friendly, *terrifying* smile.

"Good afternoon Ladies, Gentlemen, and Other. Today I would like to discuss the role in our society of fear. Fear; Terror, Horror, Dread. An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, will cause pain, is a threat. She feared the cliff would catch her and she would fall forever. Archaic definition: a mixed feeling of dread and reverence; He feared and prayed to God on the cold stone." he paused, folding his hands in front of him, the picture of a lecturing professor.
Then, that went wrong.

"And yet, these definitions seem so paltry in front of what we know as fear. The dark, unspeakable dreads and haunts that cross your soul when you are alone. The burning light between the stars. The ancient, creeping terrors from when Man first looked up and said 'I AM!', and was met with the echo 'You Were.'" here his voice cracked, and his eyes suddenly burned. The fire was upon him.
He induced his *own* Madness, no one else. It was *his* dark place.

"Fear the dark, for it hides the nameless dread. Fear the snake, the knife, the happy poison. Fear the man, fear the beast. Fear the end of the story....because the page tears. Fear it all... but never turn away, for It watches you." something was... appearing, behind him. Or was it already there? Something dark and nebulous... something somehow growing from his words, from the silent screaming from *somewhere*.

Andrew laughed, a horrible broken giggle, his eyes *sparked*, the red of his coat seemed to hold old blood...
"But I am not above the fear, no! I am not it's master. See the spider under the dirty veil, and rejoice... it could have been worse. I just know what writes... and the story writes me, to write it. Do you understand now?! What genre do we live in?! I could make it all better." the thing behind him swirled, shifted- were there eyes? It seemed to solidify, about to horribly drop and be real-
And suddenly, with a crack, Andrew hit himself with his metal hand, just hard enough to leave a faint bruise.

"...And yet, there is control. For now. I hope you paid attention, there will be a test." he said calmly, turning and walking away.
Whatever had been behind him-and afterwords, no one could agree just what it had been, some seemed to claim 'it' had been Professor Tinker himself- was gone. Or had never been. Perhaps.

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


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 Post subject: Re: The Umbra Family
PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:19 am 
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~Far away~

"Wow, they really are annoyed with her."

"Why am I not surprised? Although you'd think she'd know better than to go back."

"Yeah, right. She never thinks before she does anything. I'm more surprised by the fact that she got a Narbon to hire her."

"She's goot at vot she does."

"Shh! I want to watch this!"

...

"Ow. There's no way she's getting up after that one."

"She chust did."

"He's got a point, though. The forces should have crushed her rib cage. About time she got hit by someone stronger than her."

*smeck* "Oh, shut oop. Hyu and Jennifer put her through much vorse."

"Ow! This is what I'm talking about. And I barely even bruised her!"

"No, you just made her cry. I think she preferred the pain gun. Should we do something?"

"I don't think we can. It *is* an evil double, after all."

"Yeah, but look at her- she's getting slaughtered."

"Nah, she's testink- did hyu see her tryink all de different chemicals? Hy tink she's chust a bit distracted and keeps forgettink to block."

"One back robbery says she dies in the next five minutes."

"Two say she vins in the next tree minoots. Hy tink she has a plan."

"I'll take that bet. We are visiting Eddie afterward, right?"

"Of course. Although I don't see what-"

"Well, at the very least we should tell him about the R&D department. That's the nice thing to do."

"You're evil, you know that?"

"Why, thank you."

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"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:44 pm 
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Radcliffe walked over to Professor Andronicus, "Do you think you could build something for me?"

"Sure, why not. Just let me get my tools-Oh wait I don't have any!" said the Prof. angrily.

"Okay great," said Radcliffe ignoring the his reaction. "I need a very strong form of contain'ment."

"Demanding henchmen...*mumbles mumbles*." The Professor began to build. He looked up when Eddie and all the henchmen made what he considered a commotion. "Oh please," he said. "If they really want to get him, all they have to do is go back and pre-kill him. He doesn't seem important enough for continuity to make a fuss-Here's your plasma cage...*mumble mumble*..."

"Grea' thanks," said Radcliffe, once again ignoring the Professor's reaction. He got up and went off to complete the next step of his plan.


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 8:19 pm 
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Okay, let's see what I've learned so far.

1) She's built out of a very sturdy material- more sturdy than my current bone structure.
B) She's twice and strong and twice as fast as I was the last time I was here.
iii) I've gotten slightly stronger and faster since the last time I was here.
- Someone on the programming team is both neurotic and slightly rebellious- 2.000002x my strength and speed? who programs with that much detail?
> Whoever the programmer was, they were almost sane. I mean, I've already reached the edge of her fighting programming- she can't lay a finger on me unless I get distracted...
f) Ohholygeezethatwall'scomingreallyfast

*CRASH*

Owww... Not again... Alright, I guess I'd better hurry up and beat her- I don't know when the second round is starting. Dodge, block, carefully place explosives, leap backward as the explosion sends her in the opposite direction...

She jumps toward me, bits of metal loose. Perfect! Now, I stole this gun from someone, and with just a bit of time...

*CRASH*

Ow.

Okay, I guess flying into a building worked, although next time I'd prefer something less painful. Alright, let's try this...

*Ka-ZAP*

500,000 volts, right through her. I don't care how she was built, she shouldn't be able to survive that- either her programming's been wiped, or at the very least enough stuff's melted that she won't function properly anymore.

Jennifer walks over. "You don't seem to be dead. That's something, I guess. How did you..." She trails off as I show her the gun I stole. "Oh, one of those. Can you stand up?" I get to my feet, wincing. "You probably have some pretty bad bruising, but I doubt anything's broken- you can walk, right?" I nod. I should be ok. I just hurt a lot. She scowls. "Next time don't get thrown into the walls so much. You should know better than that! And how is your mistress going to react to you getting damaged fighting a robot version of yourself?"

Uh oh. I didn't think of that. I gulp. I hope she isn't too mad at me. Jennifer relents at my terrified look. "Aw, don't worry about it that much!" She hugs me. "As long as you still help her win on the obstacle course, she can't complain that much, right? Come on, we can watch the last couple of rants." She shoots a Mad behind me- I guess I've become a legitimate target now. As we walk, I start to take apart the gun I stole.

*ZAP* "Ow!"

Jennifer puts her hand over her face. "Claire, give me the zap-gun." Sighing, I hand it over. She changes a few wires, then throws it into a crowd of Mads behind us, where it promptly explodes.

"Why didn't you make it zap them? What good is a zap-gun if it doesn't zap stuff?" I clobber a Mad brandishing a death ray with my wrench. Owww... that does hurt. Stupid walls getting in my way...

We sit down in front of the ruined stage. "Shush. Now, there are only a few rants left, so why don't you see if you can sit quietly until the end of this round, ok? At the very least, you shouldn't tick off the MSO any more for a while- we're only on the first event!"

"Awww..."

_________________
"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:40 pm 
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[A... while ago.]

Janitor had had to keep herself still when some of the audience rushed off to the restrooms after Jane Narbon's speech. It was odd, her compulsion to clean. Usually cleaning was a necessary evil - a means to access all the materials she could ever need. Usually... Janitor bit her lip and clenched her fists and stayed put. It's an aftereffect of all that caffeine, she told herself, but it didn't help much.

So she was glad when Trebaruna took the stage and started yelling about swords and breaking people with her head or something. Janitor couldn't help an evil chuckle. It was all too ridiculous. Derek Gluon still under the effects of her neural chaff (though looking surprisingly focused as he sat on the stage), and Trebaruna ranting there as if she had any real power at all...

"Heh heh heh... You fool," she said, quietly but with intensity, ignoring the stares of the people around her. "It's not about needing things. It's about doing what you can with what you have. You say that words mean nothing, you say that you are your own best weapon. Maybe you're right. But what happens when someone takes that away? You could be a brain in a jar, and you couldn't do a thing. Or someone could take away your brain... Eheheheheheh. Oh that's tempting. But... does she deserve it? She never liked me, but that's not enough -"

Janitor's eye began to twitch again. "Heh. But it would be fun..."

Meanwhile, Trebaruna and Dr. Gluon listened to the judges' scores. "Hhrmph," Trebaruna snorted. "They wouldn't know a good rant if it bit them in the -"

"Treby, we can sees Janitor naow?" Dr. Gluon pleaded. "Please please please plz!"

"We don't know where she is, Derek, remember? But the judges won't be hidden in the crowd-"

Derek shook his head, and pointed toward the audience. "Plz?" he asked again, with puppy dog eyes.

Trebaruna glares at him.

[Now]

Janitor runs. She does not giggle, though she wants to. Giggling nearly got her caught when a trigger-happy Mad assumed she was going to attack. She left him a little present. His surprised sputter as he inhaled the chaff was happy. Her impulses are doing jigs of excitement, and her mind is ringing. So much potential here, she can feel it, all she has to do is reach out and take it, all she has to do is scatter the chaff to the winds...

"Janitor!" ...And all of a sudden Janitor's thrown backwards and there's a familiar head of orange hair buried in her bosom. She blinks as Dr. Gluon smiled up at her, his arms around her waist. "Heya!"

"You...!" Janitor checks herself. He's clearly chaff-addled, and not a threat. Unlike his partner. "Where's Quark?" she demands.

"IIII dunno," he says. And smiles oh so sweetly. Janitor groans, rubs at her eyes. This isn't good.

_________________
"Dad! Human biology does not work like this!"
"It does if you believe in science! With science, people can do anything, as long as they believe."
"That's magic, Dad."
"It sure is, my little echinoid. It sure is."
"No. I mean, literally. That's fictional."
"Whatever."
~ Friendly Hostility


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 3:05 am 
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SoItBegins entered the hall through the air vent (attempting to walk through the electromagnetic screen at the door would have proved fatal.) In the form of a cloud of grey dust, he swirled into solidity on top of a pile of rubble, and began.


"A long time ago, I was respected. My theories were taught in schools all over the country. Slowly, I began to invent. I began to explore. I began to push the boundaries of science far beyond what they ever had been before. There were costs-- but it was worth it. I faced many challenges, and I overcame them all. And when others found out, what did they do?"

"They called me mad."

"They called me mad. I, mad?! The fools! They laughed at me, at my creations, but I'll show them. I'll show them ALL! I'll make them see! I'll make them understand my vision! They'll see that anything's possible! I will forge ahead with my work, make the past's future, build my dreams anew.... FOR SCIENCE!!!"

Then, SiB began to laugh, gradually increasing in volume until the entire building shook. Above him, the ceiling of the hall simply went away, revealing the near-void of an immense, starry sky. A powerful lightning bolt sliced down from the clear sky, striking SoItBegins; somehow, he began absorbing the lightning into himself, as his mad laughter reached a fever pitch.

Then, it was over-- the lightning bolt was gone, the ceiling existed once more. SoItBegins made a slight bow to the audience, before turning back into dust and leaving simply, the same way he had come.

_________________
Welcome to the promised LAN.


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:11 pm 
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"Will Mister Toboz, sir, please come to the stage?"

David Toboz walked up to the stage, looking disinterested, as a robot the size of a large car lurched after him. He sighed, stood in front of the microphone, and spoke.

"Look everyone..." Abruptly, he ducked, as a laser beam whizzed through the air where his head had previously been. "A-anyways...I don't mind if anyone else does, but I'm just not going to [let anyone leave here alive.]" He stopped and blinked. "Err...what I meant to say was that [before this tournament is over, each and every one of you shall pay for your insolence in challenging me.]" He gasped and clapped his hands over his mouth, which continued unabated. "[Mwa. Ha. Hah. By entering this tournament you have all signed your death warrents! The feeble mechanations each of you will put into play will be shattered before my tremendous intellect.]"

The spiel continued, despite his best attempts to stop it. "[I won the previous Grand Prix due to my superior malevolent intellect and cunning. My devices are superior and my technique supreme. Cower before me, worthless peons, as I prove once more the massive gulf between my tremendous talent and your feeble attempts at scientific creations! Ah. ha. hah. hah. hah. ha! Ha. ha. ha ha. Ha ha ha!]"

The robot behind him lurched forward and pounded two arms the size of truck tires against each other. "CRUSH-TOR SMASH!" It bellowed out towards the crowd, as David looked up sheepishly. "Ah..yeah...that's about it for me... good luck, everyone!" He dashed off the stage, followed by heavy weapons fire chasing after him.

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 10:06 pm 
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-Even MORE grades from the Judges!-

Dr. Andronicus

"Hmm... a definate flair for the theatrical... nothing I can fault him for. He's got good technique. Intimidation: 8.5, Originality: 7.5."

"Yee...scary! I don't wanna make him mad at me... Intimidation: 9, Originality: 7.5."

"...Originality: 4, Intimidation: 7."

"Ah, good! Miss Orange is back to her unspoken self again!"

"They say every time she says something less than necessary a wolf puppy dies of shock."

"...not funny."

Somewhere, elsewhere in the world, a baby wolf abruptly died of shock. This had no impact on anything regarding the Prix at all, but was very startling in and of itself.

"Aaah! That poor doggie! You monster, Miss Orange!"

"..."

"ANYway... moving back to judging... well, I gotta say he's put a lot of heart into it. I'm gonna agree with Red on Intimidation, he gets an 8.5, but only a 4.5 for originality. Everyone's seen the "I am superior to you" speech before, regrettably. It WAS a nice twist on an old cliche, though. We've gotten a lotta high scorers this year, haven't we?"

"Meh... Intimidation: 6, Originality: 5. You guys are all too generous, and I'm getting bored here."

"...I abstain from this vote. Sorry!"

"Hah hah... he reminds me of one of the old witch doctors of Unboru! Intimidation: 8, Originality: 8! The bad doctor's got fire!"

"Alright...so we've got an average of 8 for Intimidation, and a score of 6 for Originality. Not terrible overall, but he could stand to work on his words a bit more... still, if he makes it into the second round his henchman'll shine. I hear he's got a Guy working for him."

Professor Tinker

"Ha ha ha ha! Takes me back to my old school days with Miss Sto Helit! That woman could scare a killer! Intimidation: 9.5, Originality: 7!"

"...Ok. What the CRAP are you smoking and where can I get some? It's totally the other way around! The speech was nifty, but barely scary at all. I'ma gonna give him an Intimidation of 5 and an Originality of 8.5."

"I dunno... I used to have a scary teacher like that in grade school...she always threw books at people if they nodded off in class. Big dictionaries too. Intimidation: 7.5, Originality: 7.5."

"Unh... Hmm... I dunno... Tinker's an experienced contestant with a lot of potential... I'm really not sure how to rate this. It's an excellent technique, but...I pass, alright?"

"...Originality: 8, Intimidation: 6.5."

"Phew...those little puppies escaped. Thank goodness!"

"Quiet, you!"

"I'm going to rate this as follows: Intimidation: Very novel... a different approach, and given the right sort of audience it'd shake terror into their hearts. But only to students. So I'd give it a 7.5. Originality? That's different. He gets a full 10 from me on that. This is easily one of the least generic speeches we've seen all day."

"On Originality: Another unusual one. Not too many Mads talk directly about fear-- instead, they try to induce it in others. Quite unique. 9 outta 10! But on Intimidation: Huh? This guy's descriptive text is good, but it wasn't really very scary. Odd. After reading his reputation as a teacher, I was expecting rather more.... 3 out of 10."

"Alright...so that's an average of only 6.5 for Intimidation, but a higher score of 8.3 for the Originality score. Interesting indeed. He's certainly got a shot at this... of course, Andrew Tinker's been known for making it to the 4th round usually. Does his mother proud, that one."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I've heard stories about that lady..."

"Dude! Shush! You're gonna get us in trouble again! Just stick to the grading!"

SIB

"Hah ha! Now this guy's got style! Let's see some more property damage! Yeaaaah! Intimidation: 8.5, Originality: 8."

"On Originality: Mister SiB's mixed the Original (the 'build my dreams anew' line, and the lightning-- and that earthshaking thing was COOL!) with the Classic ("I'll show them ALL!"). It's a nice hybrid. A bit weak in parts, but nice. 8 of 10! On Intimidation: The speech, with its Classic components, wasn't as intimidating as others, but the eye candy more than made up for it. And that bit at the end... I felt the hall shake! The laughter wasn't bad either. 7 of 10."

"I dunno... I get the whole blending themes thing, I really do, and it's not TERRIBLE...but "they called me mad?" is a dead line these days. He scores high for the theatrics, but as a judge I can't forgive him for that line. 6.5 out of 10 for Originality, but an 8 for Intimidation."

"Hmm... I'm still having trouble deciding. Do me last."

"Bwahahahahaha! This man's got the power to make the earth shake! I'm impressed! Someday he might be as mighty as...me! Intimidation: 8, Originality: 8!"

"Sheesh you blowhard!"

"Aww...guys...can we all just focus? I don't wanna hear people fighting again... that was scary enough. Intimidation: 10, Originality: 7.5. Please don't make the earth shakety-rumble again, ok Mistah SiB?"

"...Intimidation: 7.5, Originality: 7.5."

"You know, I'm going to agree with Miss Orange on both scores. Which gives us an average of 8.2 for the Intimidation score, and a value of 7.4 for Originality. A solid submission!"

David

"10 on both counts."

"Yeah, I agree."

"Me too."

"Umm... yeah. I gotta agree too."

"The same."

"Uh huh."

"What are you guys talking about? That was just terrible! I mean, he didn't even look like he wa- Oooooh. I see. Yeah, 10 on both categories."

"So that's an automatic ten on both counts. Well, it looks like last years' winner goes onto the second round!"

In the crowd of Mads, Michael sighed, grabbed a hand grenade someone had taped to Frederic's back and tossing it away randomly. "Don't freak out, Frederic. This happens EVERY year... last year's winner always gets a chance to get to the second round...it's not a kindness, either. In the second round Mads can go after each other directly. You'll see soon enough."

Unkillable Eddie

"Hmm... Judges? Huddle!"

There is a sort of frenzied whispering from the group of gerbils on the table. Eventually, they break for a moment.

"We of the judges have decided by majority ruling that due to his quite Mad-like rant caused by the most recent disturbance he quelled... he shall be entered in as a contestant in the next round, and treated just as any other Mad would be. He shall be "congratulated" when he returns from sending all those henchmen to the injuries booth."

As Eddie returns, a group of MSO agents converge upon him. A loud tirade of swearing in multiple different languages and rising and falling levels of vulgarity can be heard echoing through the stadium as the MSO agents drag him off to a quiet place for a few minutes to "calm down."

The MSO agent temporarily in charge takes the stage again. "Well Sirs....and Ma'ams as well... given the circumstances, that is it for the first round. We will now announce those who will move on to the next round. Many of you did well but only a few can move on, and those people, Sirs, are the following:

David Toboz
So it Begins
Andrew Tinker
Dr. Andronicus
Wallycaine
Frederic Tinker

Unkillable Eddie (Under Protest)
Dr. Dana Amino
Chicgeek
Primary Xerox

Jane Narbon (Assuming she makes herself present within the next five minutes before the next round begins, or else she will be disqualified)
and Tit- Wait... what?

Err... Titus, the "Passionless Mad" is withdrawing due to a near-fatal allergy to custard. So the last competitor moving onto the next round will be:

Miss Quark!


"These twelve sirs...and ma'ams will move on to dominate the next round...even if they don't want to. Each is permitted moments of celebration while we set up the obstacles for the next round using our invisible construction crews... however... will one Frederic Tinker take to the stage?" The MSO agent smiled. "Every year we have an award handed out commemorating an up and coming new bit of talent in the Madness vector... handed out at the Rants, it's considered a mark of good luck and most people try to find a way to make it Explosive somehow. Mister Frederic Tinker, Sir, it is with a slight sort of pride in my gullet that I award you this: The Golden Medal of Potential. It's a quantum award that looks like a different shape of medal whenever you change the angle you look at it, sir..." The MSO agent reached up and put it over Frederic's head, narrowly missing the ears. "Be proud, sir."

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 1:58 am 
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Jane appeared on stage as if by magic, much to the consternation of the MIBs. She looked at her fellow contestants. With the exception of Dr. Andronicus and Mz. Quark (Unkillable Eddie wasn't worth bothering), every one of the current contestants knew her well enough to keep a safe distance away. H-m-m-m-m.

She knew most of her *ahem* friends were good enough to resist anyone she could control, and Chic and Andrew were both invulnerable to her chemical creations. Of course, Wally might fall for it. Or Dr. Amino. Or even Primary Xerox, though that would take some work. Then, of course, there was the other little diabolical plan she had been carefully setting up... and the next event was on its way.

Heh. Heh. Heh.

_________________
"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:54 am 
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"WHAT?!"

Jennifer puts her hands over her face, sighing. "And here I was hoping all I would have to worry about was the competition..."

"He's entering?! He's not even Mad! How can he enter?! Ooooh, that's it..." I stand up. Let's see, if I can just find a way to the R&D department...

"Claire!"

"At least three, which, given the materials, should be enough, but if I can just access the computers..."

"CLAIRE!!"

"Hm? What? Hey, Jennifer, can you build me a stress inducer?"

"No! I kept a large group of enraged Mads from attacking you, I kept the MSO operatives away from you, and I watched you nearly get yourself killed fighting that robot!"

"It didn't nearly kill-"

"I. Have. Had Enough."

"J-Jennifer?"

She grabs the front of my coat, lifting me off the ground. "I'm sorry your clock doesn't work any more, but you should still be able to act somewhat like an adult. Now, you are going to keep an eye on your mistress, protect her if she needs protecting, and otherwise do your job. You can't do anything else, henchwoman."

Tears come to my eyes. "B-but... I th-thought..."

"You, think? Don't make me laugh. You never think. You can't think." She drops me onto the ground. "And unless you get your act together, it looks like you're a failure at even being a henchwoman. Damaged right before the obstacle course, almost getting yourself disqualified, generally ignoring your mistress... I suspect the only reason you haven't been fired on the spot is that she doesn't want to use the Plush Hench-Buddy. Although, really, I'm not surprised. You always will be a failure, won't you?" I sit on the ground, sniffling. She- she didn't have to- "Now stand up and stop crying. I don't want Jane Narbon annoyed with me because her henchwoman dissolved right before the obstacle course."

_________________
"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:16 am 
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Abruptly, Miss Umbra felt herself get lightly smacked in the back of the head. She turned around to see who would dare, and came face to face with Eddie, who was scowling. "That is ENTIRELY enough of that."

He took a step back. "While I am most displeased in having to enter the competition, ESPECIALLY in a contest which I have no henchman and thus a severe disadvantage, ESPECIALLY in the most cutthroat round of the competition (You'll see.) I am still TECHNICALLY the Master of Ceremonies, and therefore am obligated to step in here. Miss Umbra, regardless of your personal feelings towards that meddlesome woman next to you, you had no right to say those things." he held up his hands in a non-confrontational manner. "Now you can feel free to hurt me as much as you'd like for that smack. I'll just get better, and after a while you learn not to mind pain. But unless things have changed in the past few decades, I seem to recall that most Mads have a "No One Touches My Henchmen But Me" rule that they adopt. Which means that by reducing her henchwoman to a sniveling pile of tears you're just ASKING for Miss Narbon to come after you. Beyond which, your behavior, for someone in your position, is extraordinarily immature. Just because Miss Claire is going to continue competing by the virtue of her employment to Miss Narbon and you are not does NOT mean you should be taking it out on her." He sighed. "I shouldn't even have to say that."

Of course, the REAL only reason he was stepping in was because he knew that it'd probably drive Claire up the wall to know he interceded on her behalf, but he didn't need to say that. He had just found out he was being forced to participate in an event he more or less just enjoyed heckling. He was irritated himself and needed to vent his anger. And as an invincible man, he found that there was no better way to do that than to annoy Mad Scientists. Even the pain afterwards helped calm one down.

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We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:22 am 
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Jennifer crosses her arms and smirks. "Immature? You think I did that because I'm annoyed about losing? Let me tell you this- the probability of me being able to sleep in my hotel room tonight is higher this way, *including* taking Miss Narbon into account. I'll let you interpret that how you will." She glares at me as I try to hide behind her. "Oh, stop that. He already knows you're crying. Here." She hands me a handkerchief, then turns back to Eddie. "Normally, I would shoot you with some sort of horribly painful laser thing at this point, but honestly? I don't think it's worthwhile. I mean, we already *have* our revenge. Come on, Claire- at the very least I'll get you a decent zap-gun for the next event. And if you don't help Miss Narbon win, I *will* be annoyed with you. Geeze, I forgot what a crybaby you are."

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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:27 am 
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"Whee! We made it?" Chic's grinning from ear to ear.
"Was there any doubt?" Farnsworth smiles slightly. His 'vacation' is turning out pretty well so far.
Chic sobers slightly. "Okay, we won't have much time. Just remember our plans. And I've built you a few things."
Chic passes him a few small devices, with swift explanations,"Don't let Lago's cute bunny act fool you. She's incredibly chaotic, will cause mayhem just for fun if she's bored. And Wally built her-need I say more? Hmm, there's a pretty impressive array of henches this year. An AI controlling a clank, a Guy, Ingrid's sneaky, Claire's tough-and you just know she'll find something explosive, Lagos, Prime, a demon, David seems to have aqquired a giant robot, dunno much about Fredric's hench, or Quark's..."
Miffed. "Ahem."
"And of course a battle savvy jaeger with brains as well as brawn, with a few of my devices, to boot."
Mollified. "That's better."
The two of them spend the time comparing notes on what they've witnessed of their competition so far, fine tuning plans. Chic is multitasking, her hands a blur as she builds while they scheme.
"And we ignore taunts-the goal is the two of us making it to the next round. Every offensive and defensive move we make has that behind it. Trust me, watching us progress onward will be more of a burn to our foes than the most satisfyingly thrown bolt of lightning."
"Heh. Go teach your grandmother to suck eggs, youngster-I mastered battle tactics before you were born. Still...this will be enjoyable."

Jess grins, giving Xerox a quick hug. "Damn, baby-and your first Grand Prix, too! You and the Kid did good!'
She leaves Xerox and Lemon to prepare, while she snags the perfect spot to watch round two.
"The Kid?"
Years of control keep her from jumping. She didn't hear Dr.Rose come up behind her. Mentally cursing a bit-she's got to keep a sharper eye out in a crowd like this!-she replies casually.
"Oh, yeah-best friend, works for Prim sometimes." Her shrug isn't fooling Dr.Rose.
"So, who will you cheer for? Maybe I should take her out and save you the conundrum?" She beams brightly.
Jess groans inwardly. "I'll cheer for both of them-and let the two of them sort it out if they face each other. Please don't make me kick your ass, Dr.Rose. I really don't want to get into it with my...with Prim's mom. Besides, I think he'd be cheesed at both of us if we interfered. Okay?"
"Ooh! With your...?"
Nope. Not blushing. Not the Chimera."my sweetie". Change the subject.
"Hey, you want some popcorn?"

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.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:14 am 
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Jane called Claire over (she looked like she was in a rather awkward situation), and the two went off to a corner. Jane pulled out two vials.

"Drink up," she said, handing one of the vials to Claire. "Chicgeek, over there with the purple hair, has a disorientation ray. That should block the effects for a short time." Jane drank the other vial herself. "Also, take this."

JN laid a small device down, and an opaque force field formed, so no one could see what she was doing. First, she reached into her purse (which was obviously deeper than it looked), and gave to Claire-- her explosives!

"Enjoy."

".....Thanks, Mistress!"

JN smiled. "Oh, and one or two more things..." she said, pulling out a few more items. "This little device is called a Resonator. You wear it hidden, right here," (she expertly slipped the device into position on Claire) "and when you trigger it, it'll send out waves that cause atomic resonations in whatever you're facing."

"What does that do?"

"To the point where a small portion of the object will explode. Keep it secret-- it's designed to be a stealth weapon for you, to use when they aren't expecting it. You trigger it like this, so you'll be able to fire it off even if people see both your hands free."

"Wow, thanks!"

"I thought you'd like it. Let's see. OK, I've got a few little tricks of my own set up... I haven't seen the plans for the course, but hopefully, it won't be that hard."

Jane picked up the device. "...and remember," she said, perhaps a hair louder than normal, "I want you to not attack anybody. Understand? If someone attacks you, just shrug it off." At waist level, the hand hidden from the audience (and the other Mads) made a gesture that Claire had learned meant "ignore what I just said-- I'm lying".

Then, Jane and her henchwoman waited for the obstacle course to be built.

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"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:57 pm 
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Prof. Andronicus had called Radcliffe over. "Yessir, what is it?"

"I require spare parts Radcliffe. Hand me your sub-atomizer," said the Prof. Radcliffe frowned. They had not sneaked in extra tools, because of his power, but the sub-atomizer.

"Aww, please don' make me."

"Just hand it over, and several of your ordinary guns."

Radcliffe pulled the sub-atomizer from his coat and several smaller ordinary weapons.

"Now. Go and do what you were doing. Just be sure to be back in time for the event."

Radcliffe walked off a bit dejected. He went over to where Frederic and Michael were. He smiled. The people he had payed off mobbed Michael.

Radcliffe entered the Math. The trajectory locks and he pulls the gun from his jacket. Bullets go everywhere, bouncing off of everything.

All head for Frederic. He puts up a good fight but one hits him. Radcliffe swoops in and carries him off.

Michael breaks free of the scuffle and starts to chase Radcliffe.

"Too Slow! Too Slow!" teased Radcliffe as he dashed around the corner.

The scene carries on as Radcliffe ran deeper and deeper into the stadium's hidden nooks. Michael corners him.

"Give him back."

"Shore thang boss," Radcliffe said with a fanged smile. He threw the body at Michael.

Michael caught it and looked down. It was a dummy.

"Gotcha'," said Radcliffe as a blue field blew the dummy apart and suspended Michael within it.

Radcliffe rolled on the floor laughing.


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 2:48 pm 
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Fredric loomed behind Radcliff, brushing off a slightl amount of dust.
"You bloody little amateur..." he snarled, grabbing him by the collar and hoisting him over head, cutting off the mans hysterical laughter dicisevely.

"Alright, good show. But you expect a bloody bullet to work on ME?!" he demanded, slamming him down onto the pavement, with enough force to stun him slightly.
After a moment he slapped his forhead.

"Annnnnd then oi'll just go ahead and knock out th' person who set th' field. Perfect. Bloody hell..." no choice- brute force it was, then.

He put his hands on the field and hit it with a charge of magic- breaking down the resonance with a counter frequency dissolved most containment fields so far...

Unfortunately, he now had a knocked out Hench. He sighed, carrying him over his shoulder.

"Honestly... loik I even needed rescuing." he muttered heading back for the main area.

Dr. Rose grinned, taking a peice of popcorn and chewing happily. She giggled, settling in her seat and taking out a full-sized picnic basket from behind her back.
"I brought some snacks too! I hope you like apple cider." she said happily, taking out two cups and a bottle of juice.

"Sure, thanks." said Jess, glancing behind her- mallet space, huh? Clever.

"Mm-hmm! I'm not really worried... he's tougher than he looks. I'm not sure if he'll make it to the finish, though. He... well, there's a lot of vicious people out there, and he just doesn't work that way." she said, taking a dainty bite of a finger sandwich.

"That;s true... his honorable streak might get him in trouble."

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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 3:42 pm 
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"Not so fas' Bunny-Boy," said Radcliffe as he hopped onto Frederic's shoulder. "Noogiezs!"

He ground his hand into Frederic's head. "An' to ans'er your question: I din' think the bullet would be good enuf."

Radcliffe somersaulted over Frederic's head and yanked Michael from his hands. "Tha' was jes' phase two." He took off Michael in his grasp.

Radcliffe knew he couldn't escape from Frederic, but that wasn't the plan. He turned the corner and kneeled down. He poured some of the Clan's best brew down his throat.

"Dis sho'ld be fun." In a second Radcliffe was on his feet and crawled into the foul smelling sewer. As he escaped from Frederic he laughed a bit...

But after inhaling the fumes decided to save it for later.

(There isn't an antidote to the Brew. It'll make him tipsy, or it'll knock him cold.)

After a small shower in what appeared to be a locker room for the MiBs, Radcliffe went back and sat down next to Professor Andronicus.

Radcliffe smiled.


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:47 pm 
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Fredric sighed, picking Micheal up and carrying him to the main area of the games again.. lord, was that *apples* he smelled? Or,at lease, *mostly* apple...

"Sure, sure. Lucky charm they say... Moi tail fluff. More loik great big 'shoot here' target." he groused, looking around for a place to put Micheal down.
All the same... he had that guys scent now.

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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:00 pm 
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I stand next to Mistress, waiting. She didn't seem too angry with me...

Suddenly, something flashes by my head. I reach out and grab it. It's a zap-gun. I turn.

"You know, almost no one hear knows how to build a decent zap-gun. It's unbelievable." Jennifer's standing behind me, grinning. "Incidentally, if that purple-haired woman who did the trick with the mike comes by, feel free to tell her which way I went." She holds up a hand. "Don't thank me- Arthur will have my hide if I get you fired. Plus, I figure I owe you for dealing with Eddie. Anyway, try not to zap yourself silly before the second event." She waves at Mistress. "Hey, Miss Narbon. I'm a big fan of your work. Don't zap Claire too hard. See you later, Claire!" She runs off.

Oh my. She stole one of Miss Chicgeek's zap-guns? I hope she knows what she's doing. Then again, she always was good at evading people. I open the zap-gun and examine the circuitry. Oh, wow! I haven't seen *that* application before! And she has this modification, which I didn't think anyone knew about, and look at this...

Eeeeee! Zappy!

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"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

Spam Poison. I think.


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:24 pm 
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-The Beginning of Round 2-

The MSO operative temporarily replacing Unkillable Eddie took to the stage once more. "Will all the remaining contestant Mads please depart from their henchmen and travel over to the east side of the contest grounds, please?" He waved his hand over to an empty patch of ground nearby. Upon arrival there each Mad was patted down for any left over weapons, tools, or chemical agents (SEVERAL things were liberated from the person of Jane Narbon, and for a few minutes two MSO agents had an argument about whether they should burn her clothing "Just to be sure.") "Meanwhile, will all Henchmen please gather on the far west edge of the contest grounds, against the walls of the stadium?" Again, he gestured over towards the west.

Unkillable Eddie sighed and began counting down from ten on his fingers, as if expecting something. The MSO operative began to speak again. "Sirs, the second round, the Henchmen Obstacle Course, requires some briefing before we begin. Originally, in this event both the Mad in question and their designated henchman run the course as a team, with the Mad only able to rely on their Hench to get by the various tricks, traps, and freeform Raps that they may encounter along the way, collective Sirs. The event was graded by time taken to complete the course, and the general rule was that as long as the Mad in question and at least one third of their henchman crossed the finish line at the same time, they would be considered t have passed." he paused and took a deep breath. "However, this year, as a response to the reaction of the crowd, which has long felt that this event is "Too tame" MSO Management has decided to change things abruptly and uncontrollably." He took a gulp from a glass of water, looking noticibly nervous. "In this year's incarnation of the event, Mad Sirs... your primary responsibility is to survive."

Suddenly, the ground beneath the Mad Scientists still competing in the Grand Prix gave way, and each one of them unceremoniously fell into a deep pit... from around them came the baying of creatures that were ONCE hounds. They hadn't just been dropped into ANY pit... but into one of the Feral Wolf Pits they had been warned countless times about. All around them were several holes, and from each one many, MANY pairs of yellow eyes gleamed out at them. Far too many pairs of eyes for even a Mad to count.

And most of their tools and devices had been stripped of them. It didn't look good.

Back above them, on solid ground, a large obstacle course with varying deadly events faded into existence, as if it had always been there. The MSO operative managing the Ceremony spoke once more. "In this year's version of the second round, Henchmanly sirs, you will be running a newly designed obstacle course by yourselves... failure to complete the course will result in the disqualification and subsequent demise of your Master and/or Mistress. You will each be graded by the time it takes you to cross the course and reach the Feral Wolf Pit, in which you will be able to retrieve your employer from the pit safely using a rope ladder located at the top of the pit. If any of your employers leave the pit before this time they will be disqualified, so move quickly. Additionally, if any of you, or your employers, find some way to particularly impress the judges, they may decide to reward you by knocking seconds off of your score. And alternately, for poor behavior, obvious cheating, or sloppy form, the Judges may penalize you with additional seconds added to your time. The 8 Henchmen who achieve the lowest times will have the reward of their Masters going onto the third round as it occurs tomorrow, while the others must depart in Shame. Best of luck and swiftest of feet to each one of you, Sirs."

The course itself was laid out according to the following description: There were 12 entrances, one for each Henchman involved. Each entrance led to an identical room 90 feet in length, with walls that fired jagged metal blades at high velocities at any movement which hidden motion sensors in the room detected. From there it led to several large pools of lava, each with a single, flimsy rope stretched across the width of. (Each of these particular rooms also had a hidden device in them which varied the strength of gravity within the room itself randomly within tolerable parameters...this meant that one had to move fast and have a VERY good sense of balance... and flying across was exceptionally dangerous.) The next room seemed harmless at first, but contained 20 life sized statues armed with Greek weaponry that would come to life and attack anyone who entered, barring the way through. This room led into a room with a locked door and a table with five syringes of unknown substances in them. Each Henchman had to determine which syringe of the five contained a mutagen that would turn whoever was injected with it into a monstrous human/ferret hybrid, and then place that syringe into a small box at the foot of the door before it would allow them to pass through. However, each of the 5 syringes looked exactly the same, and only one contained the mutagen: If any of the rest were placed inside the box, the Door would emit a sonic burst that would stun the henchman in question, wasting valuable seconds. This room led to another room where they would encounter a doppleganger of themselves barring the way through: the doppleganger would counter any action they attempted and mimic speech and mannerisms, and would have to be somehow circumvented. This room finally led into a wide, circular antechamber wrapping around the Feral Wolf Pits... this Antechamber had 12 doors, each with a riddle engraved on each one, and stone keys strongly resembling a keyboard carved into them. Each door would open once and ONLY once, whenever the answer to their riddle was inputted using the stone letters carved into them. So each Henchman would have to answer a unique riddle to save their Master/Mistress. The 12 riddles were as followed:

Door 1: I am always hungry, I must always be fed. the finger I lick, will soon turn red.

Door 2: Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.

Door 3: What fastens two people yet touches only one?

Door 4: What is put on a table, cut, but never eaten?

Door 5: What goes into the water red and comes out black?

Door 6: Only one color, but not one size, Stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies. Present in sun, but not in rain, Doing no harm, and feeling no pain. What am I?

Door 7: I cover cities and destroy mountains, I make men blind, yet help them see....What am I?

Door 8: When one does not know what it is, then it is something; but when one knows what it is, then it is nothing.

Door 9: I have rivers without water, forests without trees, mountains without rocks, and towns without houses. What am I?

Door 10: Lives without a body, hears without ears, speaks without a mouth, to which the air alone gives birth. What am I?

Door 11: What is so delicate that when you say its name it is broken?

Door 12: Who are the two brothers who live on opposite sides of the road yet never see each other?

(One final note: Please read the post in the Grand Prix Backstage section before posting here? That post will be up very shortly. Thank you.)

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Frankenstein 1000 Grand Prix
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 9:48 pm 
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*Earlier*

Janitor is astounded. "Trebaruna made it through?!" she gasps, staring at the MSO announcer. "That - but that -"

"You got something to say to me?" Trebaruna hisses, pressing something sharp against the small of Janitor's back. "Janitor."

Janitor stiffens, but smiles anyway. "Trebaruna. Your rant was terrible. I'm looking forward to seeing someone rip you a new one in this next round, though. Shouldn't you get up there?"

"Mmhmm. I need my hench, first. If you'll just let him go, I'll be on my way."

Janitor looks down at the man beaming at her. She protests, "Hey, he grabbed me -"

The blade presses harder. "You made him dumb. I want the cure. Now."

Janitor forces out a laugh. "There is no cure. Really. It'll wear off eventually."

"Treby?" Dr. Gluon asks, drawing away from Janitor a bit.

"Not what I wanted to hear, Janitor!" Trebaruna hisses, bringing back her arm and swinging her weapon.

Janitor winces. "Did - did you just try to mortally wound me with a crayon?" she asks incredulously, peering down at her side. "Congrats, maybe I'll bruise." Dr. Gluon giggles.

Trebaruna glowers. "You better start looking for a cure or I'll use a real one next time. C'mon, Derek. Let's go kick some -"

"Unicorn abacots!" Dr. Gluon finishes happily. But as he's dragged off by Trebaruna, he looks back at Janitor and chuckles low enough that even he can barely hear it. In one of his pockets is a quarter. Those nice people in the featureless white room said he could keep it, he'd been such a good boy...

_________________
"Dad! Human biology does not work like this!"
"It does if you believe in science! With science, people can do anything, as long as they believe."
"That's magic, Dad."
"It sure is, my little echinoid. It sure is."
"No. I mean, literally. That's fictional."
"Whatever."
~ Friendly Hostility


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