Comics by Shaenon II

Mad science has never been so cute!
It is currently Sun Oct 20, 2019 1:12 am

All times are UTC - 8 hours




Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 3001 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 101  Next
Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 9:29 pm 
Offline
Heh heh heh.
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
I take that last comment as an insult. I'm a madwoman, for crying out loud!! Also, there's a small flaw in David Toboz's plan that he hadn't predicted: If he's transporting himself to another dimension, then given the huge number of alternate dimensions similar to our own out there, someone from one of those other dimensions should be arriving here.

Sure enough, another gray portal opened, and someone stumbled out. It was s a lookalike of David Toboz. He looked at me and said, 'Ha schpoz tr rÿlin?'

I didn't bother to answer him-- I just pushed the third button on his remote. Here, the button read 'Dlylåx', but on our-world-David-Toboz's remote, the button read 'Undo'. Quick as a flash, other-world-David-Toboz was gone, and ours was back where he started.

SoItBegins grinned at David. "By the way," he said, "you know when I said I was through with the plan?"

David looked up, apprehension in his eyes. This turned to gut-wrenching clarity when he saw SoItBegins aiming his energy pistol right at him.

Then, SoItBegins shot David Toboz, knocking him out.

"I lied."


I smiled. Now I simply had to do one more thing to make my plan complete.

----------

It's done. Now-- OH NO! The satellite will destroy this place in minutes! And those self-destruct charges... they're about to go off too!

I check "our friend"'s remote, but it's flashing a light saying 'Low Battery'. The doors are sealed, the explosives are counting down, and a huge laser beam is going to vaporize this place very, very soon. And I haven't sorted through DT's belongings yet.

I love my job. It's always so exciting!!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:00 am 
Offline
Hyperkeeper
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 1301
Location: Xyon City
This is not going well. Sealed doors. Explosives about to blow. Orbital laser pointer getting ready to vaporize us. Fortunately, we have a little time, but how much? Fortunately, David Toboz's computer screen is showing the time to laser pointer laser ignition. 3 minutes, and counting. I yell over to JN, "How much time before this place blows?"

JN checks her watch. "2 minutes 46."

Her timer almost exactly matches the time until the satellite's lasers ignite. We've got to get out of here, and fast. But first...

"Ok. You've got 30 seconds to grab whatever you can. Then we bail." I immediately start following my own advice, stuffing CD-Rs into a bag I brought. I also make sure to snag DT's backpack, and a few other small goodies. JN appears to have raided the chemicals rack. Then, we both run for the exit door.

Miss Narbon draws her raygun and says, "On three!" We both aim at the door.

"Three!"

Two concentrated beams of energy hit the door at exactly the same point... and splash. #&$m. Blast-proof doors. I check my watch. 2 minutes left.

Then, I spy a stairway down, with a sign marked 'Tunnel System' leading to it. If one of those tunnels leads to an exit, then... well, there's nothing we can do but try. I yell "Prime, guide me!" then run down the stairs, Miss Narbon following me.

========

Only 1 minute left. I think I've successfully circumnavigated most of the twisty passages, but daylight still eludes me.

===

30 seconds. I see the exit. NO TIME.

===

20 seconds. Exit is blocked by rocks. Blasting.

===

15s. Found antigrav skimmer parked out here. It must be David Toboz's.

>10 All stuff is loaded.

>9 Starting this thing.

>8 Started. Shield is in place.

>7 Now we just

>6 have to

>5 GET

>4 THE

>3 HECK

>2 OUTTA

>1 HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!

=============

Five things happened at once.

The near-satellite laser pointer, having finally built up enough charge, activated. The laser emitters warmed up, found the target they had been commanded to strike, and sent a combined hair-thin beam of pure energy straight at the target.

The laser beam punched through the roof and walls of David Toboz's lair, through several load-bearing beams and columns, and straight into a tank containing a prototype of a new light-sensitive explosive.

Meanwhile, the timer for the self-destruct explosives Jane Narbon had placed triggered.

At the exact same moment, an overloaded hoverskimmer went slicing through the sky at top speed, frantically trying to be as far away from the lab as possible.

Finally, David Toboz, who had been waking up for the past 15 seconds or so, became fully awake. And thought, Oh sh*--




Image

_________________
Welcome to the promised LAN.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: He's dead! He's gone! And he's never coming back...is he?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:18 am 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:30 am
Posts: 4538
Location: Burnsville
As the laser pointer's emitters enter the final stages of charging and the mad scientists Narbon and Begins flee the scene far off in the heavens above a short, balding man with freckles rolls a set of dice. The roll makes no noise that mortal man can here, although it is whispered that the most nerdy of men somehow just know when the 10-sided dice of probability strike against the table of destiny. The man's name is He-who-plays-games-with-the-lives-of-men, but most simply call him "Fate." His dice roll against the table...

Back in the realm of humanity, Professor Zobot wakes up, pushing himself off his own floor. He has 15 seconds before his own creation fires, destroying him and setting off a number of explosives that will destroy his lab. The epiphany of his doom costs him five. In ten seconds he might be able to sprint across the room. The laser's beam, in diameter, will encompass more than that. In his final 10 seconds, Professor Zobot dives behind an overturned lab table. "Oh Sh**!"

The dice roll... one of them off the table. Fate frowns and snorts, bending down to retrieve it, and tosses it again.

Professor Zobot could never remember why he made the furniture in his lab so "me-proof." The answer was in case of something like this. The laser fires, the beam slamming into the room, pushing the table back into a wall and destroying everything else in its path. As the beam rips out of the lab, the table alters the angle of it's path by almost 1 degree. As the blast narrowly misses the head of a giant Cheshire cat and exits the planet's atmosphere, for a brief moment people on this hemisphere of the planet see the beam indicating Mars. Professor Zobot, in what remains of his lab, has suffered sever burns and psychological trauma, but he's fortunately just barely alive. Then the explosives trigger, and the ceilings collapse.

Professor Zobot did not have a regenerator machine, like So it Begins. Nor did he have backup clones, or a robotic double, or even a holographic decoy. He did not expect to be in such a situation, nor did he ever have a contingency plan for his untimely death. The dice roll...and stop at the end of the table, coming up a 21.03 percent. Sometimes there's no stopping dumb luck. From the now unobserved ruins of Professor Zobot's lab, a cliche hand bursts forth from the wreckage. It has lost something, but with it's mind something stirs. Perhaps it began when it was raygunned by SiB, or perhaps it didn't happen until the laser it, or the explosives went off. However, something new has awoken in the vaguely defined city where madmen fight... something benevolent.

Soon the world would bare witness to the Day of the Deranged Do-Gooder!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:52 pm 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:16 am
Posts: 4461
Location: California
Andrew Tinker gasps as a laser just *barely* misses his precious cheshire cat, causing it to hiccup and return to regular size.
Andrew caught the regular-sized Cheshire, shrugging and putting him on his shoulder.
"What in the bloody blue blazes was that? It came from toboz's lab. . . *sigh* I had better go check."
he commands Fluffy to keep up the good work, and when the serum wears off, head back to the lab and call the usual builders.

He walks into the rubble,looking around.
"hello? Any survivors?"

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 1:26 am 
Offline
Heh heh heh.
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
After the explosion, SoItBegins puts the hoverskimmer on autopilot, then tells it to fly to the location of my lab. I can live with that, but there's one thing left in my plan, one small action that I haven't told anyone about.

From the secret pocket of my dress, I withdraw the special slap patch I prepared. It's formulated to destroy all living cells with DNA matching SoItBegins. The rest is easy. First, I palm it, and peel off the backing. Then, I simply look back, and gasp as if I'm shocked. When SIB turns to look, I stick the patch on him. He drops like a stone.

Now, I have defeated David Toboz and SoItBegins, not to mention I have all the stuff he retrieved from DT's lab. This may have hurt my reputation a bit, but... hey, I'm a mad scientist!

Heh heh. Ahahah. Hah hahaha! Nya ha ha ha ha!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

_________________
"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 9:39 am 
Offline
Hyperkeeper
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 1301
Location: Xyon City
Wow! That was a great plan to pull off. Maybe that David Toboz fellow will think twice before trying (indirectly, I'll admit it, but...) to kill me again. Now--

In the seat next to me, Miss Narbon, who's been looking back, gasps. I turn and look. Surely there couldn't be something following us? After that size of an explo--

Something cold presses against the back of my neck. I don't need to see it to know what it is. The nanobots I built into my regenerated body are no use-- whatever's in this patch seems to be eating away at me. It looks like I'm soon going to be back to the traditional brain in a jar.

As I'm thinking this, my other body systems are shutting down, one by one. My torso just became a massive block of ice. There goes my neck.

My last thought before I lose consciousness is, "Note to self: NEVER WORKING WITH JANE NARBON Agai..."

- | -

End of Part 6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 7: Ares Comes


*telemetry failure*

*regen protocol init*

*bunker occupancy scan: 0*

*close hatch, and lock it*

*primary regen: nervous system*

Some time later...


Wha? Where am I? Let's see... not again!! I knew deep down that I shouldn't have trusted that madgirl!

Ah well... nothing I can do now but wait. Let's see... first comes nervous system regrowth, then the bones. Once both of those are complete, the computer'll let me back in again.

Until then.


Meanwhile, on Mars...

Several Martians looked inquisitively at where a laser beam from the planet next door had vaporized the Grand Council Hall. Only a portion of the sign, now saying "--anoga-ro", remained.

Note: All further speech is translated from Martian.

One Martian was bolder than the rest. "This is an outrage! Long did we know that our nearest planet was inhabited, but.... this is a declaration of war!"

Unfortunately, most of the other Martians agreed with him. The Grand Council, minus its assembly hall, was particularly predisposed to listen to the many hotheads that preferred conflict.

So it was that the Martian people prepared to go to war.

_________________
Welcome to the promised LAN.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:42 pm 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:16 am
Posts: 4461
Location: California
Well, Home sweet home. I found Mr. Toboz, and from the kindness of my heart (and my desire to experiment) have brought him home. He's a little. . . off, though. Sort of. . . quiet. And. . . smiling. He could have suffered some brain damage, so i suppose I had better run him through an x-ray or two.

But I am *exhausted*. Getting Kidnapped, making monsters, leaving a little 'surprise' in Jane Narbons bedroom after stealing a photo album for blackmail (she did clown training! Neat!), and the whole thing with Fluffy and Cheshire. . . . what a day.

At least the lab is fixed up (again), and I have a new henchman to help me out. For now, I'll just set Mr.Toboz on the couch, feed Cheshire, and administer the antidote to Fluffy.
*an hour or so later*
ah, everything is all set up. Although, cheshire won;t get down off my shoulder now. Purple cat hair ALL over my coat.
Now, for Mr.Toboz. . . who is, um,

"Excuse me, are you filing my paperwork?"

"Oh, yes. It was just *everywhere*! I thought you could use the help."

"Oh, um, thank you. But you've just been through a great trauma, Mr. Toboz, you shouldn't strain yourself."

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Dawn of the Day of the Deranged Do-Gooder
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 2:05 pm 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:30 am
Posts: 4538
Location: Burnsville
The man pulled his torso out of the rubble with one arm, and let out a hoarse gasp for air. His body, covered in burns of various degrees of severity, also appears to be missing a left arm, cauterized off at the shoulder. After catching its breath, the man uprooted itself and wobbled to its feet...menacingly! Soon the world would tremble in fear or possibly excitement from the wondrous things that it would unleash! The Day of the Deranged Do-Gooder is nigh!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where am I? This place looks like a ruin. How did I get here? All I can remember is pain: White hot, buring pain. What happened here, and how was I involved? It hurts to move my body. Are those burns all over me? Owie... And aren't I supposed to have two arms? I think humans are born with two of them, but maybe I'm wrong....

Wait, how do I know I'm human? What if I'm not? For that matter, who am I? Well, I suppose given the situation, that last one isn't particularly important. What is important is that something terrible happened here, and I think it happened to me. Hmm? Are those pages of paper down there? It looks like some sort of essay... by a "Dr. Andrew Tinker" it seems. Well, since they're not going to help me right now, I'll just file them under this lump of rubble with the word "Processing" painted on it. I think I remember that papers like to be processed, or something like that. For now I need to look around and see if there's anything around that can help me, or at least explain what happened here.

*An hour and a half passes*

This place is weird. I found parts of weird things lying around. The good news is that I found a new arm! There was a metal one just lying around on the ground relatively undamaged. I can't really explain it, but when I was staring at it, the idea of modifying it into a prosthetic just sort of popped into my head. And even without any tools of any kind, I think I did alright. In the end, rather than link it to my own metabolism, I stole this power-ish crystal thingy from a big thing in a half-collapsed room underground. It looked like some kind of satellite, but most of the parts had fused together and become unusable. The power source was fine, though! And when I got the whole thing working, the arm SPOKE to me! Apparently it used to be part of a "Zobot Mk. III" or something like that. It's a bit heavy and unwieldy, but it's nice to have two arms. The only other thing that seemed salvageable was this little hand held gun-thing with the label "18-Variable Raygun" on it. Maybe it'll come in handy...

Then this odd man came up to me. He called me "Mr. Toboz" and said he was here to help me. Even though I was really exhausted, I tried to be polite to him. I even made him some coffee from this ruined coffee maker I was able to jury-rig to work again. It's weird though...when I offered him a cup, he just sort of looked at it and backed away. His name is Andrew Tinker (Which sounds kind of familiar, although I can't figure out why.) and he offered to let me stay at his house while I healed. My new arm seemed against the offer but we had nowhere else to go, so I took him up on it.

Even though I'm pretty beat up, I felt like I owe him for helping me. So after I had a chance to rest on his couch for a bit, I looked around for something to do. His home was really messy and disorganized, so I put what I could in order. The papers that were all scattered around, though...some of them were forms, so I decided to do them for him. They were pretty easy, actually. A lot of them were just math stuff, like that "W-4" one. And that rabbit of his is really nice! When I was sleeping it hopped into my arms and settled down. I don't know if rabbits are supposed to purr, but when I pet it it made some sort of satisfied sound. It's been riding around on my shoulder with this welcoming, fangy grin on it's face.

Dr. Tinker seems kind of upset that I've been helping him. He insisted that I need to rest. He looked kind of angry, so I offered to make some dinner for him. For the life of me, I can't imagine why something like that would get such a horrified reaction from him.

I guess I'll stay here for a while. I don't really like the name "Mr. Toboz" that Dr. Tinker keeps calling me, but it's not worth fighting over. I'll give myself a better name later. Still, it's kind of strange. Why did I just wake up buried under a lot of rubble? And can all humans do things like graft metal arms to themselves, or fill out "federal taxation" forms? I get the weirdest feeling that I shouldn't be able to do that stuff. But Dr. Tinker already seems so stressed out. It's not worth bothering him by telling him about any of this. I'll stay here for a little bit until I recover, and then I'll find some way to pay him back and be on my way.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 5:28 pm 
Offline
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:27 pm
Posts: 848
Location: Here
Well I got my stuff out of the hotel I was staying in before it was destroyed. I am okay with that though because I was going to need another residence anyway.

So now that I've moved my possessions into my new apartment I can settle down for some sleep it's been a hectic day.

:Sigh:

Goodnight world.....

*snores*


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:58 am 
Offline
Heh heh heh.
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
Wow... what is all this stuff SIB and me retrieved from David Toboz's lab? There's all kinds of stuff in here! Not to mention the chemicals I raided. I'm sure there's all kinds of stuff I can use to my benefit. Let's see...

----------

Well, this controllable adhesive certainly came in handy. I'm working on an improved model of my slap patches. The new version has three layers: an inner layer that sticks the patch to me (until I stick it on someone else), a middle, non-permeable layer, and an outer adhesive layer that delivers the substance. It's also now clear. I've been running low anyway.

Now, what else can I do with this treasure trove of stuff?

----------

Neat! David Toboz had discovered a new way to halt someone in their tracks... with sound! I'm going to test that the next time there's a rock concert in town.

----------

Well... All this nice stuff! I think this is too much to handle in just one day! Now, to sleep for now... but soon, I will be cooking up more evil mad scientistism.

:twisted: Heh heh heh.

_________________
"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 3:40 am 
Offline
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:27 pm
Posts: 848
Location: Here
Outside Professor_Tinker's Lab...

*knocks*

The Professor opens the door, "Ah, Mr. Guy, it's a bit early."

"Yeah, but you never gave me a specific time to come in."

"Well, we can deal with that later. I'm glad you came. Mr. Toboz is creeping me out."

He ushers me in and shuts the door.

In front of me I see Professor Zobot dusting and being nice.

I'm glad I didn't go to work for him.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 8:40 am 
Offline
Hyperkeeper
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 1301
Location: Xyon City
Nervous system is almost back online, and bones are at 50%.

Soon...

_________________
Welcome to the promised LAN.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:46 pm 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:30 am
Posts: 4538
Location: Burnsville
Ahh... there's something relaxing about dusting furniture after all the forms and junk have been cleared off of it. Especially when you've just built a Dustotron 3451 device out of random parts you found in a closet! This baby can dust 12 times faster than ordinary human hands, and yet is still delicate enough not to knock over ordinary household knickknacks.

I haven't had this much fun since I modified one of Dr. Tinker's desk lamps into a sessile non-organic predator a few minutes ago! Now in addition to lighting up the room, it can snag nearby insects, spiders, and even small rodents up and artifically digest them to make its light even brighter. I imagine it'll be quite a handy timesaver for pest control.

Hmm...the good doctor just let someone in from the front door. He looks like some Guy that must be perfectly reasonable and trustworthy. Maybe he's an associate of the doctor?

In any event, my burns are healing nicely... pretty soon I'll be able to get going and find my way in the world. I'm kinda excited.

*From outside the lab a loud explosion is heard*

Goodness! What could that have been?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, outside the secret baselab of So it Begins, several black cars pull up and park on the side of the road, and several men in black suits and black sunglasses emerge.

"Remember men, this won't be your typical mission. Mad Scientists are dangerously unpredictable, and are capable of the creation of some truly insidious things. There's a good chance most of us won't get out alive. But remember our goal: We are here to have an important conversation with the madman known as So It Begins!"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:32 pm 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:16 am
Posts: 4461
Location: California
Well, I have given up on trying to stop Mr. Toboz from using my housewares to invent things. . . frankly, my library has never been cleaner.
Instead, after assuring him that he can stay as long as he needs to, I retreat with Mr. Guy to my writing room/lab.

"So what do you think happened?" asks Mr. Guy.

"Well, It's too early for me to make any assumptions, but I have a working theory. You see, what makes a Mad Scientist mad is, well, that's a lot to get into (and I'm sure you're well aware of it). But let it suffice to say that the personal alignment is not necessarily a part of Mad Science. Most Mad Scientists are evil, most likely due to the trauma of the transition. I still remember when it happened to me. . . It was in a library when I was only thirteen. "
I pause, shivering slightly at the memory. A dozen people managed to survive, only by vacating the premises before the blow hit, so to speak. The result had been a city block of destruction and a manuscript that drove the chief of police into a catatonic state. And he was hardly the worst case he'd heard of.

"Basically, I cannot help but feel that Mr. Toboz has, due to the accident, become. . . Good."
Both I and Mr. Guy are silent for the moment, contemplating this turn of events.

A faraway explosion is heard, making me glance up.
"Oh, heavens to betsy what now? I was *just* getting some work done. . . Mr. Toboz! Did you hear that?"

Your post has been edited to correct some of the spelling. -SIB

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:53 am 
Offline
Hyperkeeper
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 1301
Location: Xyon City
*skull and brain regrowth complete*

*reconnecting...*

Phew! Finally, I'm back. Let's see... it seems that Professor Tinker has taken that David Toboz fellow in. The nanobots in Fluffy are still working perfectly. Anyway, it looks like DT has gone good!! It's actually pretty funny-- the yell Professor Tinker made when DT offered to cook him dinner is one I'm saving. Who knows... with a little PhotoShoping, there could even be some blackmail opportunities!

Also... say, who's that at the door?

Black suits? Black sunglasses? I better go project myself out there.

The men in black were examining the sealed front door when the holoprojector came on. A glowing-blue replica of my head (as it normally looks) appeared, with a path of blue light back to the projector above the door. I've found this is actually easier to handle-- people will say, "Oh! Holoprojection." when you're visibly projecting a glowing blue object out there. If you just have a 3-D object appear with no apparent reason, people sometimes take it the wrong way. For now, I took a deep breath, and spoke.

"Greetings! I'm SoItBegins, and this is my lab. Due to events which I am not going to go into at this time, my body is being rebuilt. I can't answer the door right now, and I won't be able to for quite a while, so: what do you want?"

One of the men, who seemed to be the leader, stepped forward. After a pause, seemingly thinking, he said

"Mr. SoItBegins... are you aware that there is intelligent life on Mars?"

_________________
Welcome to the promised LAN.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 2:14 am 
Offline
Heh heh heh.
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
Cool. I didn't know that David Toboz was experimenting with extradimensional storage pockets. Maybe I can implement a hammerspace-like setup.

Also, check out these robot cognition guides! "How To Make Sure Your AI Won't Turn Against You (Advance Reading Copy)". "Big Brain, Small World: Mental Structures over Distributed Networks". "The Mindbuilder's Primer". This stuff will come in handy.

Now, what should I do with all of this stuff I'm unearthing?

I know. I shall test it. On the public at large. The great unwashed. The advance multitudes.

FOR SCIENCE!! :twisted:

_________________
"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:34 am 
Offline
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:27 pm
Posts: 848
Location: Here
I poke my head out the door... and quickly pull it back in. From within my jacket I take my machine-operated-laser-guided-missile-shooting-gun.

"How did you fit that in there?" asked David Toboz.

"Never mind that now. The Martians are attacking."

"Now calm down Mr. Guy," said Professor_Tinker. "Lets not assume that it's Martians."

"It's the Martians. I've run into them before, when Mr. Stevens decided to invade their planet," I replied. "I'll hold them off while you two secure the lab."


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 4:51 pm 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:16 am
Posts: 4461
Location: California
"Oh dear, really? Wait, you survived that?! Remind you to give you a rase." I exclaim, clapping my hands together. Oh, what a find!

"Ah, well, thanks, but thats not really-"

I cut him off, raising a hand.

"Yes, yes, invading martians I know. I'll have you know I'm a little better at keeping on track than most Mads. I went early, after all." I say simply, calmly shooing Mr. Toboz into my lab.

"Toboz, There's a bit of a situation out there, so It's best that you and Fluffy stay in the lab for now, alright? If you get bored, i have some spare robotic materials in the back you can use, alright?" I explain, depositing Fluffy in his arms.
he looks confused, frowning in that odd little way he's developed. Lke a worried. . well, a worried *Good Guy*.

"But, Dr. Tinker, Isn't that dangerous? You could get hurt." he says, reminding me again with a pang how he's changed.

"Well, yes, but I assure you, i will be fine." i reassure him, picking up a seemingly-innocuous black umbrella (Laser sword hidden in the hilt, and usable as bulletproof-shielding when open) and switching out my bifocals with a 'special' pair from a glass case ( Fifteen different modes of vision and some surprises), turning to strike a pose.
"For you see, I am Doctor Andrew K. Tinker, master of the written word, creator of monstrosities never before seen on this earth. Reality cowers before my will!" I declare, stalking ut dramaticly to the front door.

"Come, Mr. Guy! We have a Alien menace to confront. An alliance may be negotiable, and if not. . . well." I kick op[en the door, cackling madly.

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 6:09 pm 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:30 am
Posts: 4538
Location: Burnsville
"But...Dr. Tinker, Isn't that dangerous? You could get hurt." I've got a really bad feeling about this. I should be helping. I should be in the thick of things...shouldn't I? Why does it feel like I should be rushing off to the fight that thing?

"For you see, I am Doctor Andrew K. Tinker, master of the written word, creator of monstrosities never before seen on this earth. Reality cowers before my will!"

I blink and look at the doctor. "Err...isn't that somewhat villianish?" Maybe there's something wrong with Professor Tinker? He was always so nice before. Holding the bunny Fluffy in my hands, I walk down to the back of the building. For a few minutes, I amuse myself building a little laundry-bot out of some of the robot parts in Tinker's back lab. It turned out great, but it keeps laughing ominously and plotting to add extra starch to Tinker's clothing. It's really weirding me out ever since I added that little metal mustache that it asked for. I also found a bit of string and a nifty little laser pointer, which I pocketed!

"I tell you, talking robotic arm, I should be out there, helping out!"

"Query: Would you like to be outside?"

"Well sure, but Professor Tinker said..."

"I remained silent to avoid his insidiousness. Tinker is a mad scientist. Shall we escape?"

"I don't want to escape. I want to..." My head feels spinny. "...to fight. I want to stop those martians!"

"Affirmitive. Deploying the rocket punch."

"A rocket punch? You mean where the hand detaches from the arm and flies at enemies! Yeah! That'll work. I'll just aim it at where I think the Martian is, and a steel fist of....of justice will smash into it! Wait... aren't you supposed to detatch, arm? W-what's with those rockets popping out of your sides. What exactly is going....WHAAAAAAA!"

The arm rockets ignite, thrusting the metal arm, and it's owner forward at speeds not fit for normal human beings. A hole is punched through Professor Tinker's front wall as the arm slams into the Martian drone outside his lab, knocking it over but doing little else to it, and jets into the sky, leaving a contrail behind it. It's fleshy passenger sways in the air behind it, still clutching his variable raygun as the arm carries him towards the city skyscape...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

One of the agents regards SiB's hologram with suspicion. "After an unwarranted attack on mars resulting from somewhere on Earth, we believe there will be repercussions from the Martian government. We need weapons."

He points over at another agent, one who is missing a leg and leaning on a crutch for support. "After his little incident in Moscow, Little Timmy here became convinced that you were one of the most terrifying mad scientists on the planet. The government needs your arsenal, So It Begins."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

In the depths of Professor Tinker's lab, a single being plots a insidious scheme of darkness. "Yesss... and his coats shall chafe forever more! Mwahahahaahahahahahahahahaha!"

Soon the washer of evil would finish its spin cycle, and phase two of his plan would begin.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:13 am 
Offline
Hyperkeeper
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 1301
Location: Xyon City
I felt sorry to give the agents the bad news, but I had to do what I had to do.
"Look, I really can't help you right now. I need a body to actuate the machines in my lab-- some of them aren't linked in to the computer system.

"Also, I was never that good with weapons to begin with. Your 'Moscow Incident' left Tim over there on crutches, but it left me as a small pile of ash floating on the breeze. Why not try David Toboz? He's new around here, but he's good at this sort of thing-- he created the laser that caused this mess in the first place. Now I... wait a sec, his lab blew up. Now where would he..."

At this point, a loud yell announced both the coming and going of David Toboz, as he was half-flown, half-pulled through the street by a rocket-propelled prosthetic arm.

"...that was him just now. Try visiting him. You don't need to fear him-- he's gone Good or something. I think he took a knock on the head. Anyway, if you still need my help, come back again." The head vanished.

As one, the men in black turned and walked after David Toboz.

------

Previously, on Mars...

The Martian leaders were leaders for a reason. Instead of the all-out invasion force that some of the hottest heads had preferred, they decided to send a scouting craft with a few robots over to Earth first. If the probes were attacked, it was likely that the destruction was an act of war.

Of course, no one could ever be certain...

~

The Martian scout craft skimmed through space, sliced through the Earth's atmosphere, and crash-landed a few blocks away from Professor Tinker's apartment. After a short period of time, the door opened and 5 robots came out, all going in different directions. There would be no war until the Martian leaders were certain.

Unfortunately, the first robot was destroyed by one of SoItBegins's external lasers when he though it was a bug.

The second robot turned and met a missile coming the other way.

The third robot was happily flying along when it had a collision with an out-of-control David Toboz.

The chances for Earth avoiding war looked bleak. The only consolation was that such an army, if launched, would take at least 4 days to get here.

It would all be up to two little robots...

_________________
Welcome to the promised LAN.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:49 am 
Offline
Heh heh heh.
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
Oooh. Wow. I've had to create a new filing system to store all this stu-- say, what's that outside?

Two robots! One's damaged, I wonder what happened to it. Who knows what I could do with them. They would certainly be useful.


By dint of some hand signaling, I managed to get the two bots inside my lab. Now-- wait, what are those markings supposed to mean? And what did that bot just say?

Some language analysis later...

Amazing! These robots say they are from Mars! Apparently, that laser of David Toboz's flattened quite a chunk of real estate-- on Mars-- and the Martian leaders suspect this may be an act of war.

Now I truly have a dilemma. I could invite a war, pick up the pieces, repel the invaders, and (in the chaos) become the RULER OF THE WORLD.

Or, I could try to convince the robots that it was all an accident, explain, and hope that the Martians don't attack us.

A third choice is even simpler. I could take the robots to the U.N. and let them figure it out. But, where's the fun in that?

War, no war, or mixed bag? I just love decisions of power like this. It's what attracted me to become a mad scientist in the first place. Well, that and the maniacal laughter and the utter-guile-and-deceit-not-being-out-of-place thing.


Decisions... decisions. :twisted:

~~~~~

_________________
"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 2:08 am 
Offline
Hyperkeeper
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 1301
Location: Xyon City
Circulatory system regrown, respiratory system 28% done. Meanwhile, I've been thinking. In the book "The War of the Worlds", by H.G. Wells, the Martians couldn't be defeated by the Earthlings, but instead were utterly destroyed by the common cold. Perhaps if the Martians really do attack... hmmm...

-----------

Respiratory system complete. In the meantime, I've sequenced a virus that will go after biomass similar to the bio-circuitry I retrieved from the destroyed Martian droid. However, it would be one of those 'last resort' things. I'm uncertain as to what the side effects (on humans) would be. It's nice to have it, but...

Only as a last resort.

_________________
Welcome to the promised LAN.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:46 am 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:16 am
Posts: 4461
Location: California
Well, so far it seems that the beings in the ship didn't make it, but the ship is still *quite* salvageable! Just a few fixes here, slap some titanium here. . .

It could work! It could really work! And now that I know that there *is* life on Mars . . . .

heh. Heh heh. heh heh hehhehheheheheheHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

"Come, Mr. Guy! We need to get this spacecraft to my backyard and start repairs! I want this craft serviceable in a matter of hours or days. If space is in fact inhabited, that Andrew K. Tinker shall be the first to introduce it's beings to TERROR!" I cry boastfully, eyes gleaming with inspiration.

I set about to moving the craft, securing it in my backyard within an hour and begining to work, gleefully quoting to myself.

"Know you why the robin's breast/Gleameth of a dusky red/Like the lustre mid the stars/Of the potent planet Mars?"

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:03 am 
Offline
Heh heh heh.
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
I have spoken to the Martian robots. I convinced them that I was sympathetic to their cause, but there would have to be some conflict to solve this problem. I made sure to single out Professor Tinker, SoItBegins, and Professor Zobot as particularly egregious causers-of-problems.

Soon there shall be no one left to stop me. And then...?

I shall show them. I shall show them all.

_________________
"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:47 am 
Offline
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:27 pm
Posts: 848
Location: Here
Clank, Clank, Clank goes the hammer as I work on repairing the Martian ship.

I know full well that the Martians will have a large force poised to strike the Earth. We will probably run into it. I could suggest that we don't act hastily in our attack and explain this to the Professor, but I've found that not having secrets significantly reduces my chances of escaping unscathed.

So I'll bide my time then.

"Mr. Guy, would you put that a little to the left."

"Yes, Professor."


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 12:53 pm 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:30 am
Posts: 4538
Location: Burnsville
After colliding with, and smashing a small robotic drone, the arm continued to rocket through the city, it's owner on occasion trying in vain to protest.

"-*-!"

"Sir, you should not speak while moving at such speeds, it makes things difficult. Wait until I stop... oh wait, DO you want me to stop? Affirmative."

The arm initiated the cooldown processes, withdrew it's mini-rockets, and looked for something soft to crash into.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, a giant pillow monster attacking the city was crashed into by a tiny human with a metal arm, scattering feathers all across the horizon. The pillow monster was quite dead, although it's lawyers would seek unsuccessfully to prosecute it's unknown assailant for years afterwards, so in some ways it would live on.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok... I'm never asking my talking arm to do that again. Or rather, I'll ask it not to ever do that again. At least I landed on something soft. And there are people surrounding me... looking up at the dissipating cloud of feathers. Hey! They're cheering at me! They like me! They really like me! And some of them in black suits are walking towards me... huh.

"Mr. Toboz, we presume?"

"I'm not sure that I like that name, but that's what people are apparently calling me. How can I help you? Would you like some tea?" I'm fairly certain that one way or another I can come up with a way of brewing a good sort of tea from all these feathers. I think.

"Not exactly. We represent the government, and-"

"Which one?"

"... the government. We're with the IBF-"

"Don't you mean the FBI?"

Two of the agents look at each other, and a third sighs. "Screw the plan. Ok, grab him!"

Men in black suits encircle me, removing weapons from their pockets. Hmm, this doesn't look good...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:52 pm 
Offline
Hyperkeeper
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 1301
Location: Xyon City
Phew! It's a relief to have regrown my entire head. Now, I can breathe again, instead of having oxygen supplied direct. My digestive system and a few of my muscles are back too. It won't be long now...

In the mean time, I-- what's that? Ohohohoho! It looks like the Men In Black met up with David Toboz. They're chasing him down the street, as a matter of fact, and-- uh-oh, there go the arm rockets. I think they must have actuated on their own, as an emergency getaway de--

()*CRASH!!*()

*Clang* (clatter) (tinkle) *whuMP* >Thud<

Ouch. That must have hurt. No sign of the poor guy, although that lumpy sack the Men In Black are carrying looks interestingly... angry.

Oh well. Back to my nefarious plans.

Heh heh heh.

_________________
Welcome to the promised LAN.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 10:35 am 
Offline
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:16 am
Posts: 4461
Location: California
Well, with Mr. Guy's help, this is shaping up wonderfully! We've gotten the ship at about 90% working capacity, and the rest can be set up to fix it's self.
Of course,i need to adjust It to be comfortable for humans to pilot, which will be a little extra, but on the whole I can't help but feel *very* good about this.

hey! Mr.Guy figured out how to turn on the screens that track the position of the robot drones it sent out! I can see where they-
"Oh, no. Oh, oh dear oh dear." I swear, staring at the screen to see if perhaps there is a mistake, I'm not seeing the coordinates I think I'm seeing.
After releasing that it's not gonna happen, I calmly adjust my coat, and turn around to walk into the lab.
"Mr. Guy, you may feel free to go home, if you wish. We can continue the repairs tommorow. I will likely work on it some further, but it is getting late."
no-one would ever call me a inconsiderate employer.

I steel myself, and pick up the phone, dialing the number I never thought I would have to call for any other reason than prank calls and death threats.

"Hello, So It Begins? This is Professor Tinker. I need to speak with you."

a pause, before a voice is heard on the other line.

"What? Give me one good reason why I should listen to you."

I smile slightly, It seems his respiratory system is working, no electronic interface.
"Because Out of the Mad Scientists in the area, I'm hardly the last person who tried to kill you, and I have *never* betrayed you. Granted we have never worked together before, but That still makes me the most honest enemy you have."

". .. . Alright, I'm listening."

"Good. Very good. Well, you are already aware of the martian craft that lander, are you not? Well, I have managed to salvage some of there equipment, and have located the robot drones that arrived. They are in the clutches of Jane Narbon."
I pause to let that sink in.

"I giver her half an hour before she has successfully cemented a deal with the aliens and has probably already seen to it that they consider *us* a threat. And so, well, this is awkward, but. . . well, I have the alien technology, and you have the ability to use it. And we have a common foe on the horizon, so. . . perhaps we could form an alliance. I mean, if you're not busy."

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:23 pm 
Offline
Hyperkeeper
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 1301
Location: Xyon City
FINALLY! I'm back to myself again. I think back to what I said to Professor Tinker.

"Well... I accept your offer. Be warned, however: If you cross me, I will destroy you. Though, seeing as you've never managed to kill me yet, I probably won't have to. At any rate, I'll be over soon. Be seeing you..."

Phew! Now I just have to armor up, then go over to see this mechanical monstrosity. Also, now I know exactly who was making all those prank calls.

---

WHOA.

I take back what I said earlier. It's not a monstrosity at all. The slim titanium alloy capsule glitters in the sunlight, looking extremely inviting. Professor Tinker explains that he's refitted it with seats for humans (an extremely good thing, in my opinion.) I step inside. Wow. A bit cramped, but still very wow. The viewscreen wraps seamlessly around the entire top half of the cabin, giving the impression that the ship is open to the heavens (or whatever you're currently under.) Incredible.

Now, let's see what I can do with this control board...

_________________
Welcome to the promised LAN.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 1:04 pm 
Offline
Heh heh heh.
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
I've been expanding on the tales I've been telling to those two robots. Basically, I've divided humanity into good people and bad people. The good includes me, the local grocer, and Don Quixote. The bad includes SoItBegins, David Toboz, and the entire programming team for Windows 95.

So far, I think that the robots completely believe me.

_________________
"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 3001 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 101  Next

All times are UTC - 8 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
News News Site map Site map SitemapIndex SitemapIndex RSS Feed RSS Feed Channel list Channel list
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Translated by phpBB.fr © 2007, 2008 phpBB.fr
This site is hosted by Free-Forums.org - get a forum for free. Get coupon codes.
MultiForums powered by echoPHP phpBB MultiForums