Comics by Shaenon II

Mad science has never been so cute!
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:26 pm 
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Captain Jess can't help but grin at him-so smug, thinking he's got all the angles covered. "Tell ye what, Roxie....between you and me, let's say you gave me your parole, and that's why you're not clapped in irons, hmm? Now...dinner, you say? Will you bide here a moment?"
Tsiirox assents, and Jess steps into the corridor. And put her fingers to her lips and lets loose with a piercing whistle.
A crewmember comes dashing her way, and Captain Jess holds up her hand. "I want ye to fetch the first mate, pronto-I have some instructions to give her. After you've found her, go to th' galley, and have Devil Hand Muligan fix his special, and bring it here. For two, mind ye. We have company on the Bonny Jean tonight."
"Aye Aye, Cap'n!" Ferret Face gives a rough salute, and dashes back the way he came.
First mate Annabelle Stuart is promptly fetched. Captain Jess carefully seals the letter she's been writing, and hands it to her. "This is to be delivered, by you, and placed in the recipient's hands personally. No one else, ye hear? Wait for any reply, and report back the second yer done."
A note with instructions is handed to the first mate, also.
Very soon indeed, Queen Narbon is holding a missive from Captain Jess.

"Be warned-the girls didn't just cause explosions and a mess on my ship. They went to Queens and back, and caused a ruckus. You'll discover the details fast enough when you get there. I have decided to head on to what we know is the eventual destination of our quarry. If he slips away, I'll be laying in wait. If you succeed, we'll join forces and continue our mission. Speaking of the girls-they're sleeping it off. I'll work them like the devil tomorrow, hangover or no hangover, so they'll think twice before putting me in such a fix again. You can have a member of your crew bring any needed personal belongings of hers to my first mate, if that's acceptable to you. I've instructed my first mate to wait for your reply, and plan to cast off the second she returns.
Enjoy the cake-it came at a high price!
Captain Jess Morgan."

Meanwhile, Captain Jess turns back to her 'prisoner'. Dinner is as delectable as anything His Nibs could find back in Queens.
"As least you had th' sense t' leave that silly wig behind." She smiles, and carefully sets a bottle of something vintage on the table.
"May I offer ye a glass?"
Before dinner is over, the Bonny Jean will be well on her way to Ahi Island.
Too far away from Queens for Tsiirox to swim back.
Needless to say, the lifeboats will be heavily guarded, and Tessie on the alert.
Captain Jess smiles, and takes a taste of the delicate conch chowder. Day's looking up.

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 12:06 pm 
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Tsiirox rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair.

"I'll have you know I hated that wig- damn fluttery. I recall a gentleman's role as being a protector of the commonwealth, not some powdered ponce. Personally, I blame Paris." he groused, examining the bottle. She was *well* aware he had the alcohol imbibing abilities of the average dormouse, he was sure of it. But it would help his case if he could honestly say he'd been plied with wine...

"Luckily, at least Mister TInker hasn't gone prety for it- but he;s good Baronsland stock. Apparently the big fashion back home for *him* is monogrammed weaponry excanges. It's for young couples, of course." he paused, giving her a wry smile.

"Speaking of Mister Tinker, young love and blunt head injury, have you seen any sight of Captain Toboz?"

_________________
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 3:38 pm 
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Captain Jess smiles, and pours about a thimblefull into Tsiirox's glass.
"There. Drink it or else." Her voice is amused, as she cuts a bite of grilled swordfish.
"Now you can truthfully say I threatened you."
Tsiirocks rolls his eyes.
"Oh? Not enough?"
In a heartbeat she's holding a slim dagger to his throat.
"How about this? Better? I wouldn't want to disappoint."
He sips, she smirks, and resumes the conversation as if nothing'd happened.
"You should think about leavin' that stuffy desk job behind, Tsiirox. 'Twill suck all the life out of ye, leavin' ye a souless husk of a man. There's a spot waiting here..."
"You're a pirate."
Captain Jess lifts an elegant eyebrow. "Ah, back to technicalities, are we? Am I such a bad sort? I pillage, I loot-but it's not lives I'm taking. Still, if yer going to be stubborn, I suppose I'll just have to kidnap you. Oh, wait-we did!" She grins, and pours herself some wine.
"Funny you should mention Tobozz-tell me, how do ye feel about a treasure hunt?"
Captain Jess is enjoying herself. Not that it'll stop her from giving Crazy Emily and that Clarissa girl who works for Jane a difficult time tomorrow...
It's good to be the captain.

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:46 pm 
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"You know I can't." he said, a little regretfully, as he sipped a little of the wine- it was nice and sweet, at least. She remembered his prefferences, at least. And the food was delicious.

"Not all pirates are as 'noble' as you are, and it's my job to squirrel that sort out. The Tanty is flush with men willing to trade blood for gold, and more yet sail the seas. I have a Duty." he said, shrugging and managing to look and sound a bit more like a man explaining that if the wood isn't chopped someone will suffer a cold winter than a puffed up Lord bawding on about Justice and Glory. It was just something that had to be done, and he was the man who was to do it.

"Besides, you'd be a sight sadder if me and my boys weren't keeping the cut-throats and murderes of the waves, admit it." he pointed out, giving her a rare little smile. His ears perked up- 'treasure'? Oh, lord, what had that damnfool gotten into this time?

"I might be- if just to damn well keep an eye on you lot."

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:31 pm 
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Captain Jess's voice becomes deliberately casual. "Oh, just a wee bit of a treasure hunt..." Reaching a hand inside her blouse, she pulls out something gold and shiny on a chain.
She dangles it temptingly, and it sparkles in the candlelight.
"Is that..."
"Aye. It's half of the famed Monkey-Eagle talisman. Remember that three headed monkey idol ye leapt off my ship with? I did'na care about that hideous thing, jewel ladened though it was. Ye see, I'd already unlocked it." Smirking, she stows it safely back under her blouse.
"And the other half?" Tsiirox's mind is racing. That will lead to the fabled BlueLight horde! What a prize!
"Ah...that. My, ah, partner had it-but it was stolen from her. The same thievin' rascal has a tracing of my half, and seeks to forge his own."
Jess continues, before he can ask questions.
"So-my partner's after him, and I'm going on ahead."
"....Her?" Has to be a pirate...Tsiirox starts mentally listing all the female pirates he knows of.
"It's strange, though." Captain Jess frowns, ignoring his question. "We know Tozzbot stole her half, and has the plans fer mine...but those were stolen from my quarters by the Dread Pirate Jeremy Irontooth. I wonder...he must've stolen them from him, too."
"Do you mean Toboz?"
"Aye, that's what I said." Captain Jess agrees. "And ye know, Lord Irontooth left some love poetry behind him." Voice innocent.
Admiral Tssirox takes another tiny sip of wine.
"Terrible stuff it was, too. Tessie could write better!" Captain Jess smirks, and leans forward, planting one on him. She didn't think the silly man would be sensible and sign on, but she can always kidnap him again...One of these days, he'll say yes.
A few minutes later, she sits back and uncovers the dish holding dessert.
Rum cake.


Meanwhile, in another cabin on the Bonny Jean-
"ZzzzZZzzz..." Crazy Emily sleeps soundly.
"mm..uh..zzz..." Clarissa mumbles, tosses in her sleep, then settles down.
Let's let them rest-they have a busy day ahead of them tomorrow. Hangovers or no hangovers.
Devil Hand Mulligan looks at the mess in the galley, and, strangely enough, smiles.
That'll be their first chore.

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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 Post subject: The Inevitable Death of Replacable NPC
PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:34 pm 
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-The Crazy Haunted House Mystery!-

The crew laughed as Captain Toboz looked over at their captive. They'd tied up the ghost that had chased all of them around. "Aye, good work, lads! That ghost... is toast!"

Everyone around him groaned at the terrible pun. His counterpart, the David-From-Another-Universe, raised an eyebrow. "Wait... I thought it wasn't really a ghost all along... I thought you and I had figured out that it was..." He reached down to pull the ghost mask off of the tied-up man, revealing his face.

Everyone in the crew, except for the captain and David, gasped. "Old man McErnhirey?!?"

Old Man McErnhirey scowled, spitting on the ground in spite. "And I woulda gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for ye meddling pirates! And that blob!"

The little yellow blob perched on Captain Toboz's hat waved his cocktail sword and smiled. "Nom! Nomom-nom! N'yar!"

Captain Toboz sighed. "I just wish the legends about the Cursed gold had been true." He walked down to the large chest of gold coins they'd uncovered, opening it up and picking out the distinctly mundane golden treasure. "Worthless! Well, not really, but we need cursed gold for our goal..." He sighed. "I can't believe the man who died here didn't REALLY curse the gold he hoarded in life."

Suddenly, a board from the ceiling came loose, falling towards the floor, and striking First Mate Replaceable NPC square in the skull.

Captain Toboz's eyes went as wide as dinner plates. "REPLACEABLE!"

David rushed over to him. "It's no good! His skull is cracked! This might be survivable but I have next to no knowledge of first aid! Does anyone know anything about medicine?"

There was a brief moment of silence.

"What, NO ONE?" David looked aghast.

"Well, we could craft him a peg-head."

"To be fair, most pirates ain't much fer the fixin' a broke limbs, matey."

Captain Toboz looked horrified.

Replacable tilted his head up, feebly. "With... my last... breath... I curse the wretched gold that brought us here... here, the place where I died..."

Suddenly and mysteriously, the gold coins in the chest developed a distinct purpleish aura which felt distinctly ominious, as Replaceable NPC breathed his last.

Captain Toboz shook his fist at the heavens. "NOOO! REPLACEABLE! HE WAS THE FINEST OF MEN!" He sighed, then turned. "Oh, hey! Cursed booty!"

Another NPC stepped forward. "Well, wit' tha rules a'succession, I guess I'm the new first mate. Captain Tibez, me name is Redshirt NPC!"

David raised an eyebrow. "Wait... you're just over it, just like that?"

The NPC clan shrugged. "'appens all the time, matey. Only way ta deal wit death is t'take it in stride iff'n ye be an NPC."

Captain Toboz sighed. "See to it that he's buried outside the house... two of you stay behind to take care of that and get back to the ship as soon as possible. Mister Redshirt, David, yer both with me an' the rest of the team... we're hauling these cursed coins back to the ship's hold. And two a'ye take our prisoner to Queens and turn him in fer running an illegal slaver ring. Maybe we'll even get a reward if we can keep 'em from thinkin' we's pirates..."

Old man McErnhirey spat and grumbled. "Yer all daft pikers, an' I'll be back!"

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:13 am 
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Jane smiled. She'd sent over Clarissa's pink parrot plushie (for her, a necessity) over to the Bonny Jean. Now... it was time to have a little fun.

"Now," she said to herself, examining the ship's shapeshifting controls, "who shall we be today?"

~~~

A short time later, the harbor officials in Queens spotted a trim merchant ship approaching. It flew the British flag, and appeared to be a little worse for wear.

No one recognized it, so it was allowed entry into the harbor, past the warning signs and (empty) ropes warning off pirates. The Ruby dropped anchor, acting like any other ship in the harbor. An official was standing on the dock to receive the ship's boat as it came in.

"Ship's name?" the official asked Jane, who was just stepping off onto the dock.

"The Laughing Raven."

The official made a note in a book. "All right, *your* name."

"Lane. Captain Barbara Lane."

Another note in the book. "Mm-hm. Purpose of visit?"

"Trading, at least in theory. Also, to restock supplies."

This time, the man checked a box. "Cargo?"

'Barbara' grinned, a particularly mirthless smile. "We haven't got any. Those accursed pirates took it all!"

_________________
"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:08 pm 
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Tsiirox raised an eyebrow at the cake, his mind whirring gently on the subject at hand. For one thing, had she meant the love poetry was left with her partner, or Toboz? Either way, there was something damn worrying going on.

"Help me out- are you trying to tempt an officer of the law, bring back fond memories, or just get me drunk?" he teased, accepting a slice all the same. Hell's bells, it *was* the finest rum cake this side of his Grandmothers house. She was *really* stubborn about how many currants to use- or just why her recipe listed a green mallard, or exactly *where* you were supposed to find a talking squid.

"How's about this- I have a duty to follow this up, if just to see that no civilians get hurt. So for the duration... you can call me a crewmember if I can call you a privateer." he nibbled the rum cake, showing shock.

"This is good! Don't tell me you found a talking squid?"

_________________
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:49 pm 
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Captain Jess grins at her guest. "Don't ask me what's in it-Crazy Emily used your recipe. And her special rum. That Clarissa girl is from my partner's ship."
Casually, she pours yet another sip of wine for Tsiirox. When he asks who has the poetry, Toboz or her partner, she shakes her head.
"My fault-let me be clearer. He has her amulet half, and my sketch. Which is puzzling, because the sketch was burgled from me by Jeremy Irontooth. The dread Irontooth dropped the poetry in my quarters. So, I'm wondrin' if somehow that Tibozz swiped the sketch from Irontooth. We know Tobizz has both, because Clarissa's followed him, and overheard him talkin' to his brother. But there'll be time and enough tomorrow t' go over it-ye look a might sleepy, Crewman Tsiirox."
He doesn't realize Emily's rum is Rum, Squared. And perhaps that kind of alcohol doesn't completely bake out of the cake, like regular rum...And those tiny sips of wine are adding up.
Heh.

The Bonny Jean sails on. When morning comes, she's far away from the port city of Queens.
Crazy Emily and Clarissa are sleeping soundly-but not for long. A gang of brawny sailors are ready outside the tiny cabin's door....
One of them stealthily opens the door, and rings an iron cowbell repeatedly.
CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG!!!!
"Gaaah!"
Wimpering, disoriented, the two hungover hooligans both attempt to burrow under the same pillow. And are ruthlessly dragged to the galley.
They left quite a mess, between making cake, and setting off explosions.
Devil Hand Mulligan grins. "Maybe next time you'll think twice. I'd settle for you thinking once! Now, get to work!"
Crazy Em stares about in dismay. Perhaps they shouldn't have kept testing the rum....there's dried batter and soot everywhere, the sink's overflowing. She trudges forward. In a soft voice, "Rissa? Y' wanna wash or dry?"
And the tongs come loose from the ceiling, and land on her head.
"Owww..."
Devil Hand picks them up, and casually adds them to the pile awaiting their attention. "And I'm t' send you on to the Captain when yer done. Appears she had plannned t' go to Queens, with Captain Narbon, but suddenly had to leave one step ahead of the Navy-you wouldn't know anything about that, I'm sure."
Smirking at their shared expression of dismay, he pours himself a cup of coffee.

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:27 am 
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It should be pointed out that Captain Toboz never really had the greatest luck to begin with. Anyone familiar with his history would agree with that.

So he really SHOULDN'T have taken the entire chest of cursed gold pieces of eight. Five or six would have likely been sufficient, but pirates are, as a general rule, somewhat greedy and none of the team Captain Toboz had assembled was known particularly for their common sense.

Than again, perhaps it wasn't ill fortune that brought about this incident. Perhaps it was karma, or fate, or some other such force. But regardless of which force was behind it, the event itself came to pass: Captain Toboz, David, and the rest of the away team carrying away their cursed gold (including Redshirt NPC, who unbenownst to everyone else on the crew had skimmed several coins off the top of their haul.) made their way down the port of Queens JUST as "Captain Barbara Lane" was dismounting from "The Laughing Raven".

And by bad luck, or karma, or fate, their paths were about to cross, as Captain Toboz, completely unaware of that Pirate Queen Jane Narbon was less than 1000 feet away from him, walked down the planks of the pier towards "The Laughing Raven" and, stationed beyond it, The Captain's Fancy, which his crew was in the process of painting a bright blue.

Was conflict inevitable? Was it about to get gory?

Perhaps we'll find out, when someone else continues the story...

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:34 am 
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Jane had noticed. The half-pink, half-blue ship being painted nearby to her ship was too bright to ignore. She scanned her surroundings.

Let's see... if Captain TooMuchBooze's ship is right there, then he... should... be... somewhere nearby...

Then, there he was, walking down the pier with some of his crew.

Jane knew he wouldn't recognize her in her disguise. Her hair was now blond and curly, and her face looked a lot different from that of Pirate Queen Jane Narbon. Inwardly, she smiled, as though she were playing dice with someone and had gotten them to make one massive bet. Time to have a little fun...

Captain David Toboz was walking down the pier when a figure moved in front of him. She appeared to recognize him immediately.

"Oh! It's Captain Zobot! Don't you remember me?"

"Um, well..."

"We were at school together! I remember-- you were the little kid who sat in the back, and who that girl with black hair always bullied!"

They had been at school together, when both were a lot younger. Jane had been the 'black-haired girl'.

"Come on! Let's have a drink and chat about old times."

"But--"

Before Toboz could protest, Jane had linked arms with him and was hauling him off (under the guise of a friendly walk). Jane's crew, knowing the drill, started to engage in completely legitimate activities. No one would ever suspect they were really a pirate ship.

~

There is, it seems, always at least one totally disreputable bar or alehouse in every port. No matter how much the forces of authority try to close it down, it merely prompts the opening of another. Thus, the location changes a lot, as bars decide to go 'respectable' (or gradually become seedy.) Since Jane had last been here, The Goat's Head had gone respectable. It was still dark and dingy, but there was something about it that seemed... wholesome.
Jane had to chatter (about nothing) to Captain Toboz for a whole ten minutes before she found the new one.
The Ship and Bell, contrary to its new clientele, was still light and airy, and anyone walking in the door might be fooled for a few minutes.

"Ah, this looks like a likely place," said Jane, pulling Captain Toboz inside. Ordering two drinks (one with very little alcohol and one with quite a lot), she turned to Captain Tozob. Time to make a little idle conversation. If she was lucky, she could convince him to team up, and they would sail out of Queens together.

_________________
"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:07 am 
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-David-

He watched as the woman grabbed Captain Toboz's arm and started leading him off. "Um... should we do something?"

Redshirt NPC waved his arm dismissively as he commanded the crew to load the booty up. "He'll be fine. The cap'ns been through worse than meeting an old friend."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Captain Toboz-

He raised an eyebrow, smiling. "Really? That was yew?" He looked over at her, reaching for the drinks and accidentally taking the one with very little alcohol in it. "I haven't seen you since I was apprenticed to a hatter." Of course, between then and now he'd ended up stating his own Haberdashery, losing it due to legal trouble, getting on the wrong side of the Law, having an adventure on the high seas, and deciding to become a pirate, so it'd been a little while. "How are you doing fer yerself these days? You're a trader now, like me?" Of course it was a lie, but he was fairly decent at lying, so he figured he could pull it off. Besides, even in a bar like this no one would openly admit to pirating in Queens.

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:51 pm 
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Clarissa held a towel, wearily drying the dishes as Em handed them to her. Nnnnn... her head really hurt...

"Em... what was in that rum?"

Em moaned. "Don't talk so loud, Rissa... my head hurts. And it was the rum squared stuff... We used it to get rid of ninjas." She yawned.

After a few more moments, Clarissa spoke up again, this time more softly. "Em... you've been scrubbing that dish for a while. I think it's clean."

Slowly, the pile of dishes was reduced. As Clarissa put away the last one, Em sighed. "And we haven't even had breakfast yet... it's going to be a long day, isn't it?"

"Mnn..." Em turned to see Clarissa curled up on the table, napping.

"Rissa!" Shaking her shoulder, Em scowled. "You can't go back to sleep just yet... I think..." The kitchen WAS clean, and that was what they had been told to do...


A few minutes later, Devil Hand Mulligan entered the galley, carrying the remains of the crew's breakfast so the two of them could eat, only to find them both curled up on the table. At least the kitchen was clean, though.

_________________
"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

Spam Poison. I think.


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:17 pm 
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Devil Hand sighes, and puts on a fresh pot of coffee. Crazy Emily's nose starts to twitch a little, but she's still asleep. He nudges her.
"gffzbzl..."
"Come on, wake up. You can't sleep on my table."
"Mmm?'
He shakes her shoulder, and manages to get her upright and blinking. "Here. Coffee. Drink."
That's one down. He looks critically at her companion, and fixes her a chipped mug full of coffee that's more than half cream.
"Come on, lass, your day's not over yet. Not by a long shot."
The combined scents have a yawning Clarissa blinking. Her eyes start to drift closed again, and Devil Hand Mulligan scowls. "Drink it, or I pour cold water on you."
Clarissa drinks.
Devil Hand has a few culinary secrets of his own. He plops breakfast down in front of them, and more of his 'special' blend of coffee, and glares fiercely at them until they're done. There! That should keep them awake for a bit.
"All right, you hooligans. Ready for your next job?" Without waiting for an answer, he steps to the door and lets out a piercing whistle.
The two women wince-awake they may reluctantly be, but they're still hung over.
And they're led away to face-
"Oh, no..." Crazy Emily shivers, pitifully.
Captain Jess is unmoved.
"Oh, yes. Th' laundry's been pilin' up a goodly while. When it's done, you can rest."
"All this because we made a mess in the kitchen? I mean, Aye,Aye, Cap'n!" Crazy Emily backtracks, upon seeing the captain's eyes narrow.
"There's the little matter of drunk and disorderly while on duty. And an unauthorized trip into Queens. Captain Narbon and I were plannin' out th' best way to ferret out that Tobnose rascal, when Queens was abruptly made too hot to hold me. Nessitatin' a complete change of plans. Care to guess why?"
"Um...." Crazy Em thinks frantically. A lot of yesterday is a blur. Let's see, Rissa chased a mouse...she thinks?
Captain Jess shakes her head. "You don't even remember what you dumped in my quarters, do you?" She unexpectedly smiles...
"All right, just get to work, you two."
Crazy Emily watches the captain depart, then turns to her friend. The pile of laundry is truly daunting....
"Rissa? Did we leave a mouse in her rooms? Do you remember?"

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:20 pm 
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Clarissa was feeling slightly jittery from the coffee as she looked over the laundry. She wasn't used to having coffee... and breakfast had helped make her feel a little bit better but she was fidgeting and slightly high-strung at the moment. She started to grab pieces of laundry and fling them into a tub nearby to wash.

"Mouse? No, I don't think we left a mouse in her quarters... I think I ate it..." Yesterday was pretty blurry... she must have been pretty drunk... What would Captain Jess be upset about them dumping in her quarters? The rum cake? No... that was tasty. Prim? No... Em said she liked Prim. Tessie? No... Tessie wouldn't fit in her quarters. Hmmm... "We must've left the rum squared stuff in her quarters... she WAS upset we had it, right? I think... That's the only thing I can think that she'd be upset about, anyway."

Clarissa dove at the tub and started flailing around with the laundry and the soap. She was feeling particularly energetic this morning from that coffee drink, hangover or no... Even if laundry *was* boring, but she liked spending time with Em and she had had her parrot when she woke up and that meant Queen Narbon probably wasn't REALLY angry with her about everything. Hopefully.

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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:37 pm 
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The sound of... the sea. And swaying. He was back- back on the Mad Blue Yonder, his ship. He had to be... being trapped behind a desk, never seeing the sea but for glimpses... that had been a dream... right?

Tsiirox opened his eyes, and sighed. Allright, he hadn't really convinced himself... but for just a moment, it had been so nice. He was up in the Crows Nest- it was where he slept on his own ship. He recalled dimly that she had showed him up, where his bedroll was already prepared. he stood, leaning on the edge and staring out over the sea.

...that was it, wasn't that he couldn;t join her crew because of his Duty (although that was part of it) it was that...

"I want my ship back." He sighed, and glanced downwards. hmm. had the girls found out yet, or...?

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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:16 am 
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Crazy Emily shrugs, and joins Clarissa at the laundry tub. Laundry-bleah. "It could be worse-if she was really mad at us...." She shudders. "Captain Jess can get fiendishly inventive. I think she's ticked 'cause we messed up her trip to Queens wi' yer captain. Funny, though. She was smilin'..."
Clarissa is vigorously rinsing out the soapsuds. "Smiling isn't always a good sign. When Queen Narbon smiles, it sends shivers down your spine."
"Yeah, but...." Emily frowns, and helps Clarissa dump out the wash water.
The rigging is soon festooned with piratical unmentionables.
"Em? 'Y sure we should hand the laundry here?"
"It'll dry fastest there. An' th' captain did say we could rest when the laundry was done. Hey, are you sure all we left in her quarters was th' rum?" Crazy Em stretches, working the kinks out.
"I think so...she likes Prim, she wouldn't be mad about that." Clarissa is perched on a coil of rope. Umm, it's sunny here. Warm...
"Yeah, good ol' Roxie." Em smiles, then her eyes widen comically. "ROXIE! We got Roxie! He's here somewhere!"
Crazy Emily cups her hands and yells, hangover forgotten. "ROXIE! ROOOXIEE!"
From his perch in the crow's nest, Tsiirox hears his name being called. And looks down, to see a waving Crazy Emily, and a curled up Clarissa.
And apparently he'll have to make his way through laundry?

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:08 pm 
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Tsiirox rolled his eyes, waving down at them slightly.
"About damn time, you nutcases." he said gruffly, swinging up to sit on the edge of the crows nest.

He carefully looked down the rigging- it was coated with Laundry. Fantastic... he stood up on the edge of the crows nest, and calculated his descent. After a moment thought, he leapt- doing a smooth swan dive into the rigging. He held a hand out and smoothly grabbed a free piece of rope, flipping in mid-air to slow his descent as he swung low over the deck. He swung up out over the ocean, taking a crescent turn to swing over to the two girls, letting go to land smoothly on his feet.

"Looks like I'm stuck on this nutty quest- and you *know* me being taken is going to get Mister Tinker after you, right?" he asked, nonchalantly dusting himself off.

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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:25 pm 
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-David-

He stood around, watching them repaint the ship. He was bored. He really didn't have much to do. He looked over at Redshirt NPC. "Hey... I'm going to go wander around Queens while Captain Toboz talks to his friend, ok?"

Redshirt rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Have fun."

David began to wander around Queens, wishing he had some money of the time period as he wandered into a market. "Oh wait!" He smiled. "I do have some money! That gold we found in the abandoned mansion!" He pulled out a pocket full of the glowing gold pieces of eight. In a few moments, he had bought some fresh baked bread and a bushel of bananas.

Then he saw something familiar. "Hey! That guy looks like Andrew! I wonder if it's this universe's Andrew!" he started chasing after Red Coat Andy. "Hey! Hey! Can I ask you your name?"

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:32 pm 
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Clarissa stretched. She was still too wired from the coffee to sleep, apparently. Although it *was* nice and warm...

"Hi, Prim! It's awesome that you're traveling with us- I haven't seen you in AGES, and apparently you never finished giving Em your rumcake recipe so I had to tell her the rest. Who's Mister Tinker, anyway?"

She stood up. Coffee was interesting... she wanted a nap but she was all fidgety instead... Maybe the three of them could play with Tessie for a bit or something...

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"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 6:22 pm 
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Crazy Emily grins. "Mr. Tinker is my silly cousin. He's in the navy. People call him Red Coat Andy. What, you think Andy's going to visit us too, Roxie? Yay!"
Em looks up at Tsiirox. "So, you're here now. Have you seen Captain Jess? Did you like the cake? Are you going to be a pirate now? Why'd you leave, anyway? But now you can have adventures with us! And you know Rissa, too! She's visiting from her ship-we're having fun! And you're going to be a pirate now, right? Right, RoxieMoxie?"
Tsiirox takes a breath to answer.
Meanwhile, ominous black sails appear on the horizon...

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 8:30 pm 
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Tsiirox

He shook his head slightly, running his hand through his hair. He couldn't help but smile a little a the both of them- he did adore these girls, even if they had been the one to land him in this mess.

"I reckon he might. I am, yes, I did, No, because I'm Captain Tsiirox of the Navy. I might, I do, sounds like fun, No, and absolutely not." he said, smiling wryly at them. good heavens...

"Now, what I might like to know is how in the blue blistering blazes you two were thinking when you kidnapped me." he added, dryly.

-Red Coat-

He turned, raising an eyebrow genteelly, his navy brass buttons flashing in the sun as his coat swirled about him.

"I? I am His Lordship Doctor Lieutenant Andrew Cannon Omega Particle Prince du Risk von Tinker of Sturmhalt, good sir! But in these parts, I believe they know me as... Red Coat Andy." he diddn't blink as a couple of large, imposing, scarred looking pirates shrieked and dived for cover.

"And you are...? No, not our Captain Toboz, are you. You have the feel of a different story to you. How may I be of service then, good sir?"

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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 12:05 pm 
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-David-

He smiled. So it WAS this universe's Andrew! No one else would have such a long, cool, name. "Oh, me? I don't think you and I have ever met... sorry, you just look like someone really important to me." He had to remind himself that he really shouldn't tell everyone he met that he was from another universe... most of them just got confused and sometimes they got annoyed and even when they DID understand a lot of them tried to use it to their advantage somehow... like in the universe where someone had stolen his portal spawner.

"Um, if you don't have anything better to do, do you know your way around town? I'm a bit of a drifter, and this is, uh, my first time in town, and I wouldn't mind someone showing me around..."

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:34 pm 
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Red Coat nodded agreeably, gesturing for him to follow.

"But of course. I needed to search the town, at any rate. You see, we have a bit of a situation- the Commodore has gone missing. And I have reason to believe that I know the likely suspects... but I must be certain before an expedition is launched." he explained, walking down the street.

"And, as well, I had heard that Captain Toboz was in town... I had rather hoped to see him..." he said wistfully, frowning for a moment.

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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:38 pm 
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Clarissa considered. What had they been thinking when kidnapping Prim... "I think it was something along the lines of how we hadn't seen you in a while and it would be really fun and you should come search for treasure with us. Oh! And we made your rumcake recipe, so we wanted to share some with you and see what you thought. I think there was an angry mob in there somewhere too, but I'm not sure."

She climbed back down onto the deck from the rigging- sleeping was pretty much out of the question, even if it was nice and warm... "Why do you ask? It's going to be fun! ...Aren't you happy we kidnapped you?"

She did hope Prim wasn't mad... she didn't want Prim to be mad at her.

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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:44 pm 
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-Past David-

He smiled. "Oh, I'd be willing to help you search the town for him, if you like. I'm... well, I suppose you could call me his cousin, generally speaking of course. I'm actually here in town because of him. He's the captain of the ship I'm working on right now until I get a chance to leave, and we're almost ready to head out. It's nice to meet you! My name is..." He paused. If he introduced himself as David Toboz, he might confuse Andrew's alternate. He'd gotten into plenty of trouble introducing himself as himself in other universes... some people didn't believe him, or thought he was an imposter, or trying to pretend to be that universe's David to cause trouble, and at times had even gotten violent towards him. He decided to pick an alias and went with the first one that popped into his head. "...Jeremy! Jeremy "Irontooth" Toboz. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Red Coat!"

He didn't realize, and wouldn't realize until much later that day, that Captain Toboz would undoubtedly be angry with him over his choice of moniker... he also didn't quite understand why, once he introduced himself, several fierce corsairs who had been nearby had screamed girlishly and dived off the pier in a desperate bid to escape, unfortunately colliding with a young mermaid named Clamette who had been sunning herself in the water near the docks as they had tried to escape.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Captain Toboz-

He paused, looking up at his "Childhood friend". "You know... this has been a nice meeting an' all, but I'm 'fraid I can't really stay too long. I'm kinda in the middle of this bit of a' treasure hunt, see, an' me mateys an' me need'ta be setting sail soon. So unless ye've got some business with me I can't be bein' very social-like, miss... still, pleasure seein' the lass who made me youth so terrifying again..."

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:04 pm 
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Crazy Em grins at Tsiiroxs. "Why'd we kidnap you? Um...because we missed you? And thought it'd be fun, and you could have some of the cake we made, and we're going to go treasure hunting and have an adventure!" She beams.
"Why'd you leave anyway, Roxie?" Her voice is full of puzzlement. "Captain Jess doesn't ask just anybody to join the crew, and I thought you liked it here. Besides, the captain likes you. Oh, do you think Andy will really come visit? I haven't seen him in forever!"
Tessie reaches up a clockwork tentacle, and urgently tugs on Em's sleeve.
"Huh? What is it? You wanna play, girl?" Em's attention is turned away from Tsiirox, much to his relief.
The tentacle points. Ominous black sails can just be barely glimpsed on the horizon...
An alarm goes out. Stations are manned. And the Captain strides out on deck, to see-
"All right, ye bilge rats! Someone get that laundry out of the rigging! NOW!" Crazy Em starts to scurry to the cannon, but pauses at the captain's order. "Cap'n Jess? But...it's not dry yet."
"I DON'T CARE! We are not facing a strange ship with our skivvies out there for all to gawk at!" Jess snaps.
"But...what do we do with-"
"Think of something! Just get it off the rigging, pronto!" The Captain stalks off, to confer witn the first mate.
Crazy Em turns to Clarissa. "Okay, you heard the captain. Any ideas?"

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:11 pm 
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-????-

"Arr harr harr!"

The pirate captain smirked, watching Captain Jess's ship from hers with a spyglass. "Mister Kitty! Lower the skull and crossbones and ready the other thing!"

A large tiger padded up to her. The tiger himself was distinct in the fact that he was wearing a bandanna around his neck, and he scowled. "Cap'n, are you going to stop calling me Mister Kitty? My name is-"

The captain scowled. "MISTER KITTY YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!"

The tiger sighed and scurried over to the mast, lowering the skull and crossbones and raising... a pair of men's boxers.

Captain Drezzie, known better as the infamous Panty Pirate, grinned. "FIRE THE CANNONS! First salvo, men! Aim for the water near their ship! Captain Jess, yer unmentionables will be mine!"

The cannons of the Wardrobe Malfunction fired, shooting at the Bonny Jean, whose inhabitants were shocked to realize... that they had apparently been missed.

Under the water, however, Tessie the clockwork squid was not as happy. Powerful steel cords had burst forth from above the waves, and had grappled around it, binding many, if not all, of it's appendages. For the moment it was out of this engagement...

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


Last edited by Zobot257 on Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:38 am 
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(Author's note: The following scene is not entirely canon. It's assumed that it may happen sometime after Captain Toboz gets out of Queens, but it's not directly related to the game in any real way. It IS however, heavily spoilerific about the game Tales of Monkey Island, and thus should not be read by anyone who is waiting to play, or is in the middle of playing Chapter 4: The Trial and Execution of Guybrush Threepwood)

-Aboard the Captain's Fancy-

Terminal NPC knocked on the door of the Captain's Quarters. "Captain? Your, ah, beau is on deck, fighting our men and trying to abduct you for a date..."

A loud, mournful voice echoed from within the door. "TELL 'IM I'M WASHING ME HAIR! I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!" This was followed by a quiet sob, as Terminal NPC sighed, shrugged, and walked off.

Inside the Captain's Quarters, Captain Toboz was a wreck. Tears stained his eyes, and his clothing was torn and worn. Taking a swig of rum, he shook his fist at the heavens. "HOW MANY MORE HAVE TA' DIE, LE CHUCK, YOU SCURVY SEA COW!?!" He let out a strangled sob, dipping his sword. "HOW MANY?!?"

He wiped the tears from his eyes. "Aye, tis' true what they say... there be no justice on the high seas 'cept that which a man makes 'imself."

He stood up, and using his cutlass began engraving a memorial to the fallen on the wall of his ship. "The mightiest of pirates has fallen this day... Rest in Peace, Captain Threepwood..."

The memorial read:

Rest in Peace
Captain Guybrush Marley-Threepwood
Died November, 2008
Mightiest of Pirates
Slain at the hands of his ancestral foe, the (Formerly) Zombie Pirate Le Chuck
One of the Last True Vanguards of the Adventure Gaming Genre
Forever in our hearts, plundering them.


His legacy is recorded below.

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


Last edited by Zobot257 on Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Seas are Awash With the Sound of Madness
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:52 pm 
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Captain Jess grits her teeth at the fearsome sight of a pair of mens boxers hoisted on high. She lowers the spyglass and curses. This would happen when they've finally done the laundry...
"Her! Blast it! Why now? All right, Em-Release the kraken!"
Crazy Em snaps a crisp salute, the effect marred by a giggle. "Aye Aye, Cap'n!"
"Teeeesie!....Tessie?"
It's soon discovered that the clockwork kraken has falled afoul of the Wardrobe Malfunction's first shot.
"Cap'n, maybe Rissa and I could dive in, and start cutting the cables?"
"No. It'll take too long, as well as make you prime targets. We need both of you on board more. Can Tessie break free on her own?" Captain Jess asks.
Crazy Em nods her head. "Yeppers! But it'll take her a little time."
"Then we'll leave her to it." Captain Jess strides the deck, barking orders. "Prepare the cannon-we'll give it to them broadside! On my mark. Ready...Aim..." Cannoners stand ready by the fuses.
"FIRE!"
A volley of cannonballs hurtles forth at their attackers. Their captain , undaunted, can be plainly heard giving their battle cry.
"PANTY RAID!!!"
Among the Bonny Jean's crew are some archers. It'll be hand to hand fighting soon enough, but there's time to release a volley or two. Flaming arrows seek to find purchase on the Malfunction. One lands solidly in a tiger's rump, prompting a feline yowl of outrage.

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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