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 Post subject: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:13 pm 
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Reposted here are "The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX seconds", an abridged compiliation of the events of the first few chapters humerously reenacted by caricatures of the original characters. Please note that the way the cast acts in these is written explicitly for humor and should NOT be considered indicative of how the actual characters act. For example, Chic doesn't talk like a valley girl, and SiB doesn't really get irritated over every little thing. It's just for fun, folks!

Any future installments of "In XXX Seconds" will go in the Tales of Madness first so I can get criticism about them, and then here a week later. No one should be posting in this thread unless it's to add another installment of "Mad Sci Wars In XXX Seconds"

that being said, here we go! Enjoy!

Professor Zobot wrote:
David: *Wandering around in a strange sort of fog* W-where am I? How did I get here? It's almost as if a higher power is forcing me to dance like a puppet against my will.
*Sarcastic runs towards David from the other direction, bumping into him, a horrified expression on her face*
David: Sarcastic? What's going on?
Sarcastic: It's your imagination, David! It's unleashed something terrible!
David: W-what are you talking about?
Sarcastic: We're too late! It comes!
*The two of them look up and scream. Before them stands... a title*

The Mad Sci Wars, Chapter 1: In 50 seconds.

(I bet you were all hoping this was gonna be a short story weren't you? Well, you're wrong! It's a parody of everything you've worked so hard to write! It's my most evil work to date! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

*Chibi-versions of Andrew Tinker and SiB stand in front of a greyscale wall*
Tinker: Lolz! I leik mintz!
SiB: H4i haff a one mintz. *SiB holds up a tray with mints on it*
Tinker: k dewd. *He takes one and swallows it. Suddenly his hair grows very long.* Omg!
SiB: Lol! U is fallin' inta mai trapz!
Tinker: I haz a deth list. yu iz onnit.
*He pounces at SiB, and the two enter into a cartoonish fighting dust cloud. In a few minutes it dissipates, and the two are glaring at each other. However, they're now normal-sized humans*
SiB: You leave my Petunias alone!
Tinker: You turned me into a fema- Wait, why are we no longer talking like the unholy cross-breed of AOLer and Lolcatz?
SiB: Our little internet show must have been bought out by a major corporation, and thus has a budget that can afford actual words. Marvelous!
Tinker: That's great! Now we can expand on the original concept in ways that we never could have done over the interwebs!
Jane: Like adding a new character! *She walks in from stage right.*
Tinker and SiB: *Jaws drop* Bwaaaaa?

(To Be Continued!...assuming someone doesn't stop me in time.)

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:14 pm 
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Because people have yet to overcome it's damage resistance, it's time for another installment of...

Professor Zobot wrote:
The Mad Sci Wars, Chapter 2: In 50 seconds!

(It regenerates 2d6 hitpoints every round and has DR 2/Onyx weaponry!)

(Note: The following is not intended to accurately represent the characters in question or even get close. Any dialog or actions performed by such characters is merely intended for humor potential and not intended to offend or annoy anyone. If you find yourself getting angry, repeat to yourself: “It's just a parody, I should really just relax.” Any deviations from the plot of the actual game are done merely for creating humorous situations.)

(No PurpleKnights were harmed in the making of this production)

Jane: Greetings! I'm-
Tinker: You can't be a new character! We don't need anyone else cutting into our screen time!
SiB: Yeah! Even though she is remarkably sex-
Tinker: *Points at him* Solidarity! We should kill her before she becomes a named character onscreen and becomes invincible!
Jane: Whatevah. I'm Jane Narbon, the only female character on the show, (at least until season 2) and that makes me BETTER than you in every single way! *She grins and poses*
*SiB and Tinker look at her skeptically.*
Tinker: Kill her.
SiB: Agreed.
Jane: *Shoots up into the air with the jetpack on her back* I don't think so because LASER DEATH JETPACK MISSILES! *She starts firing missiles from her jetpack at the two other cast members, who scramble for cover.*
SiB: Augh! *runs towards his base, which is destroyed by a missile.* NO! My base! All my DvDs were in there! Noooooo!
Tinker: *Watches as his own base is destroyed.* Gaah! She let loose all the monsters I was keeping in my Menagerie to rampage across the land! Not like I wasn't planning on doing that myself, but part of the fun is actually in doing it! Curse you Jane Narbon!
*PurpleKnight walks in from off screen*
Purpleknight: I say, can I be in this scene? I'm purp- *A missile slams into him and explodes, catapulting him off screen.* OH MY-THE PAIN!
Jane: Mweheeheehee! I'm only one episode old and I've already taken control of the entire show!
Tinker: Not yet you haven't! *He points up at her. Fluffy! Use Earthquake attack! It'll be super effective!
*”Fluffy”, a little vorpal bunny, emerges from Andrew's front pocket.*
“Fluffy”: Da, can I have some spoken lines?
Tinker: Sorry, “Fluffy,” but you're just not a main character! Now go quake the earth underneath her!
Jane: A vorpal bunny?!? Ha! flying-type pokemon aren't affected by earth-type attacks! Your diminutive sidekick character is useless against me, Tinker!
Tinker: I see...than how about this, then?
*”Fluffy” starts glowing, and then sprouts wings.*
Jane: D-did that thing just evolve? Aieeeee!
*”Fuffy” chases her off, attacking her labcoat for massive amounts of damage. Tinker follows them on foot.*
SiB: Ha! And while my nemeses are off dealing with each other, I'll finally be able to begin an elaborately Machiavellian scheme with absolutely NOTHING distracting me! First I'll-Hey! A candy bar laying on the ground! *eats it Unngh... I don't feel good.
*SiB dies. For the first time. SiB x-tra lives left: 5.*

(To be continued?)

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:16 pm 
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And now it's time, once more, to unleash upon the world...

Professor Zobot wrote:
Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 3: In 50ish Seconds

(But first, a cut scene that has nothing to do with anything!)

Desius: Eric never told you what happened to your cousin.
Tinker: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Desius: That's incorrect... Andrew, I am your cousin!
Tinker: No, that's not possible!
Desius: Read the Story... you know it to be true.
Tinker: No! NOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOO!

(And now back to the actual...thing.)

*Tinker is standing behind the greyscale background, reading a book. Jane Narbon, all dressed up, walks up to him.*

Jane: Hey. Sorry about... you know... blowing up your home and all your worldly possessions. Let's go on a date!
Tinker: *Looks up at her* Hm? No thank you.
Jane: *Appears a bit annoyed* A-hem. Let's go on a date.
Tinker: I'm flattered, but no.
Jane: Grr...

-Meanwhile-

SiB: Unnh... ohcrapI'mabraininajaragain! When will I learn not to eat random floor candy? When, I say! When?!?
SiB: Hmm... might as well check up on how things are going around here. Prime, my superintelligent AI I've never mentioned having before! Show me a video feed of what my arch-rivals have been up to.
SiB: WHAAAAAAT? She wants to go out with HIM? But that's... I mean... why him? N-not that I care at all, I mean, but why?
SiB: Hmmph... well, I'll have to do something about this. It's time to start working on my MASTER PLAN...

-A couple of hours later, in a barren wasteland-

Jane: *Panting heavily, and holding a rocket launcher* DATE!
Tinker: *Pulls himself out of some rubble* Look, you're just not my type! That's as close as I can get to saying it without pushing us from a PG rating to PG-13!
Jane: Look, I don't think you understand what you're dealing with here. The plot of the actual show dictates that we go on a date next chapter, and we can't go against that! It's a major plot point.
Tinker: Wait, this show has the budget for an actual plot? I thought we were just doing random stuff! Fine... fine... I'll go out with you.

(And that's pretty much how it all happened. To be continued!)

Purpleknight: Wait, wait... wait a minute. Aren't you all forgetting about something?
SiB: No, I'm pretty sure we got everything.
Purpleknight: What about my scenes? The zany exploding tribbles and such?
SiB: Eh, that stuff was cut for time.
Purpleknight: B-b-but those were some of my biggest moments in the show! I don't even get that many lines in the next episode... You're cutting me out completely!
SiB: It's not our fault you had such a small role in the series. Some stuff had to go.
Purpleknight: Oh, you guys are jerks... so the noncanon movie reference got kept and my scenes were cut? Where's the justice in that?!?
Jane: There there... maybe we'll have time for it next time...

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:17 pm 
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(It's time to destroy your minds with another...)

Professor Zobot wrote:
Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 4: in 60 Seconds

(This Episode is served with a side order of steamed wontons and sweet and sour soup!)

Tinker: Ok... I've gotten dressed up, and I've got Fluffy safely hidden away in my pocket... I think it's time to go to the restaurant... we never agreed on. So I'm not entirely sure where we're meeting. But I'm going there anyway.
*He begins to walk into a restaurant of vaguely defined ethnicity*
Tinker: I know Jane Narbon's a dangerous Mad scientist with as of yet undefined talents and a missile-firing jetpack, but I don't feel intimidated in the slightest. I'm more worried about getting her cooties on me. As long as I have "Fluffy" I'm completely and totally safe. Yup, nothing dangerous here.
"Fluffy": I wuv you, da!
Tinker: Quiet, Fluffy. You don't get any lines in this chapter, so just stay in my pocket until I command you to do things for me. *He takes a seat at a table and waits for Jane Narbon*
*Fluffy cocks his head up and starts squirming out of Tinker's pocket*
Tinker: No! Bad bunny! You're supposed to just be a mindless minion until we give you a speaking role in chapter 7!
*Fluffy hops out of Tinker's front pocket and poings into the kitchen*
Tinker: I suppose I should probably go after him... but I'm evil. I don't care about what happens to my henchmen. But maybe I should- Oh hey! There's Jane!
*Jane Narbon enters, dressed exquisitely*
Jane: I'm sorry I'm late. I had to try 7 different restaurants until I found the one we randomly agreed on. Because we totally planned this date out beforehand off-screen.
Jane: *In a soliloquy* Excellent! Tinker is predictably defenseless without those meddlesome kids...and that bunny! And now, with the variety of hidden chemical weapons I've brought with me that we're only now getting around to telling the audience about, I'll drug Andrew, drag him off back to my lair, and do terrible, horrible things to him that are so genius I won't share them with the viewers at home because I won't have any of you plagiarizing off me!
Tinker: So, do you recommend anything here?
Jane: Well, I hear the soup's pretty good, and contains no specially designed poisons strong enough to knock out a bull elephant. On a side note, I'm just going to eat this salad I brought from home.
Tinker: Sounds appetizing enough. Alright, waiter we've yet to attribute any descriptive adjectives to, I'll have that soup.
*Time passes, and the food is brought out to them*
Jane: And that's how I un-saved Easter.
Tinker: Hahahahaha! Oh hey, my soup's here... wait...what's this?
Jane: Ah!
*"Fluffy's head emerges from the soup, as he floats in it, a glazed look in his eyes."*
"Fluffy": An' when da mennn on tha chessssbo'rd
Get up an' tell ya where'ta go
And you'v' just hadda sum' kinna mushroom
And yer mind is movi'n low.
Go 'an ask Alice
I think she'll knooow.

Tinker: *His eyes narrow* He's drugged out of his mind! *Sniffs* is that Vorpal Bunny Nip? And he was two weeks clean this time... Jane, you said this soup didn't have anything funny in it! How dare another evil genius lie to me! *He scoops up "Fluffy"*
Jane: B-but! But I didn't put Vorpal Bunny Nip in the soup! What I put in was-
Tinker: I don't want to hear it! I'm taking my rabbit back to another Nip's anonymous meeting! This date is OVER! *He storms out*
Jane: *Looking confused* But if I didn't put it in there, who did?

-Meanwhile, in the Kitchen-

Purpleknight: Heh heh heh! That'll teach them to cut me out of the main plot! Now I make my great comeback!

-Meanwhile, in a Brain-Jar-

SiB: I didn't even appear in this episode! What's up with that?

(To be continued! Coming up next time: The appearance of a mysterious new player in the Mad Wars! Who could it possibly be?)

(The song Frederic's singing in this section is "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane, by the way!)

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:21 pm 
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Anyways, it feels kinda strange to be adding this here, but I just finished it, so I feel like I gotta... so without further ado, here's...

Professor Zobot wrote:
Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 5: in 60 Seconds

(Because I have an unexpected moment of free time, and to torment you all further, here comes...)

(In which an actual plot starts to develop... the horror!)

Zobot: AT LAST! Move-In Day! And now, with my crates unpacked, it's time to begin an elaborate and overly complicated plan to destroy any and every other Mad within the tri-county area! Because there can be only me! And that me shall be only named Professor Zobot! Mwe hee hee hee hee! I will not permit anyone else remotely like me to live anywhere near me because I am that which is not good, I.e. EVIL! MWA HA HA HA HA HA! ha.

Zobot: Now let me just take a peek through my plot device See-Anything telescope (TM) here, and...

*He points it in one direction, and sees SiB testing out his new body's digestive system by eating pasta*

Zobot: Hmm, tempting, but I should wait about bothering him...

*He points it in another direction and sees “Fluffy” sleeping on top of a GRUE's head*

Zobot: And that bunny's not worth going after until he becomes a main character after the Martian storyline I shouldn't know about...

*Finally, he points it straight upwards, and inexplicably it shows Jane Narbon sitting at the table of the restaurant, her arms crossed in indignation after Tinker stuck her with the bill*

Zobot: THERE! That one! I shall orient my entire villainous power against that one completely harmless girl! After all, she's female, what could she possibly do to me?

(Pause for dramatic irony)

*At the restaurant*

Jane: Well, I guess there's nothing to do now but go home and gradually spiral downward in an endlessly escalating pattern of isolation and angry alienation towards my peers. *Her phone starts ringing* Wait, what?

Zobot: Listen well, Miss Narbon... My name is Professor Zobot, and I have incriminating photos of you the nature of which I don't care to reveal! Let the readers fill in that plot hole, I'm too lazy to! I'm not going to offer any evidence to substantiate my claims, I'm merely going to insist that you must kill So it Begins within the next three days or I will reveal your horribly embarrassing secret to the world! I do this because I am far more wicked and e-ville than you could ever be! You will not try to fight back against me because you are clearly inferior, as evidenced by- (wait, is “evidenced” even a word? Oh well, no sense in correcting myself now) -by the fact that your date went poorly! Now I must go, to do further e-ville things upon the world! Things you could never have the guts to do! MWA HA HA HA HA!

Jane: *Eye twitches* Well, that's it then. This one must die.

(A few hours pass, Jane is standing outside SiB's house and rings the doorbell)

SiB: *Opens the door* Oh, hey...Jane?

Jane: *Is pointing a bazooka at his face* Bye-bye! *She fires, and SiB is either killed or blown off-screen. Jane pulls out her cell phone* Professor Zobot...I've done your job. Now I must insist we meet so we can discuss the terms of our new partnership... unless you want a bazooka to the face as well. Well?

TO BE CONTINUED!

Purpleknight: Wait! We weren't even in that episode! We're going to get written out!

Tinker: Speak for yourself. I happen to know that I, at least, feature prominently in chapters to come.

Purpleknight: But I don't! Who is to blame for this travesty! SiB? It was SiB, wasn't it? I'll destroy him!

Tinker: You're barking up the wrong tree, violence-hound. SiB's not your true enemy in this one... the writer is. Look at him up there, clearly deciding not to make you a main character... cutting out your only few moments of screen time!

The Writer: Hey! You leave me out of this!

Purpleknight: Why you little! *He inexplicably leaps out of the show and into the real world, assaulting The Writer violently.*

Tinker And thus Purpleknight was never seen in Mad Sci Wars again. Well, good to have that out of the way!

SiB: *Walks up to Tinker* Aren't you worried that by sicing Purpleknight on The Writer you're running the risk of killing him and causing our existance to cease completely?

Tinker: I fail to see any danger. After all, Purple's been up there for about a minute by now, and whoever is writing this is still typing it out. If we were really in any danger there would be an abrupt break in the tex-

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:26 pm 
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David:
So, how is it we're not dead? I thought Purpleknight killed the writer or something.

Michael:
Eh, he made a last moment recovery at the last moment and after several months of recovery, and even more months of therapy, he's willing to start working again!

David: Oh. That's wonderful!

Michael: Which means you need to get "into character" again. *Hefts up an Alignment-Inversion Ray*

David: Aww...crap... I forgot about that part!

*David is zapped, and Professor Zobot begins to laugh manically again*

In case you haven't figured it out yet, it's time for yet another episode of...

Professor Zobot wrote:
Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 6: in 180 Seconds

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(Because the very series I'm participating in needs more Lampooning! Apologies to everyone whose characters I'm parodying. No offense or malice is meant. I'm just trying to be funny, folks! These characters are not intended to have any resemblance to any of the original characters or their writers.)

SiB: *Stirs and wakes up* HolycrapI'mabraininajar! *He blinks and shakes his head* Oh, wait... it was only a dream. I had the most horrible dream that Jane Narbon killed me in the last episode. *Then he ACTUALLY wakes up.* ...holy crap I am a brain in a jar. Nnnnngh... I used to be a main character on this show. I remember the time I used to be all evil. Like that time I destroyed that spider-monkey.

-Dreamy music cues a flashback sequence!-

SiB: Ha! I'm going to kill you, innocent simian, because I have something to prove and because I have a strong hatred of simians!!!!!!!!!11111!!!111one

Spider Monkey: I never saw paris! *It's head explodes*

SiB: And once more the better-evolved creature wins!

-Flashback ends-

SiB: ... I'm pretty sure that's not what actually happened... Prime, have you been rewriting my memories again?

Prime:
um... maaaaybeee?

SiB: Nnnnngh... I told you to stop doing that AFTER you finished adding in my torrid affair with Megan Morrone! Well, nothing to do now but build a new body for myself.

-Meanwhile...-

Zobot: Darn it... why does SiB get all the screen time and cool gadgets! I want an energy shield! That outburst of indignation would really have made more sense in the original story... oh well, I'm evil, confusing the readers is one of the things I do best.

Jane Narbon: Hey, are you going to ignore the fact that I have a bazooka pointed right at your head right now?

Zobot: *Looks away from his viewscreen* Oh. Yes... continuity. Hm.

Jane Narbon:
You tried to blackmail me, you scumbag, and for that I want to form an alliance with you!

Zobot: Then why are you pointing a bazooka at my skull?

Jane: Err... because...of...um... head crabs?

Zobot: I'm not infested and I'm willing to work with you, so you can quit trying to threaten my continued existence now!

Jane Narbon: ReeeeAAAAAllly... so you're willing to trust me and give me those photos now?

Zobot: Well ok, but only because it's part of the main plot.

Jane: *Lowers her bazooka* Teeheehee! Ok. This definitely ISN'T a plan to destroy you and everything you hold dear, by the way.

Zobot: That's just suspicious enough that it's no longer suspicious anymore! I have a good feeling about this evil alliance!

-And again, meanwhile...-

Tinker: *Wakes up in a strange room* Awww... crap, kidnapped by fangirls again. At least this one didn't tie me to her bed.

*He stands up and gets out of the bed*

Tinker: Well, time to find some clothes and walk home. Not necessarily in that order. Hey, wait! This isn't any ordinary fangirl's lair. This is the lair of Jane Narbon! The evilest fangirl Mad Scientist of all. Hmm... well, I'll just steal some of her inventions and secrets and get out of here.

*Suddenly he has a crisis of conscience*

Tinker:
Wait... no! I can't steal from someone! What would my dear mother say?

Imaginary Inner Tinker's Mother:
Excellent, my son! Steal more! And while you're at it, erase her Tivo hard drive!

Tinker:
... With my upbringing I don't know why I ever felt guilty to begin with.

-Back at Zobot's Lab...-

Zobot: So it's agreed. We shall form an everlasting evil covenant aligned against So It Begins and Professor Tinker. We shall destroy them both with our combined Evility rating of 96!

Jane Narbon:
96? That number will have absolutely no significance without some sort of knowledge of what Evility actually is!?!

Zobot: Yes. We shall ALSO be working to piss off the fans by confusing them too much.

*Suddenly, SiB, with a new body, leaps through a window, rolling along the ground and pointing a raygun at Jane Narbon*

SiB: I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

Zobot: Arrgh! Stop making dated references! That's NOT humor!

SiB: *Grabs Jane and throws her over his shoulder* I'm in yur lairs, kidnappin' yur Narbons!

Zobot: Arrgh! Die you referencing bast- You know what, just die! *He commands an army of Robotic Zobots to chase after them!*

Jane: Hey! This is dangerously close to a fanfic! Put me down or the second I get free I'll bazooka you so hard, you'll...

-At Jane's lab...-

Tinker: Well, I've eaten everything safely edible in Jane's fridge, erased her Tivo's hard drive, threw all her outfits in a washer with a healthy helping of bleach, abused her credit cards, and stolen one or two inventions of hers. And now that I've done a lot of things to hurt her, I'll make a few genetically engineered creatures to go rescue her. Because apparently I feel I want to help the person who kidnapped me. Go, inexplicably trained and loyal monsters I created!

*A series of monsters fly out of Jane's lair and go towards SiB's lair*

SiB: What the crap? The army of Zobots I was expecting, but not monsters! It's time to unleash my ultimate weapon... video game references!

*A red suspender-wearing man leaped out of the building*

Red Suspender-wearing man: <Open link in new tab for dialogue!>

Strangely mushroom-ish Tinker-monster: Awww crap. And I was hoping to become a regular character! *Is stomped flat by the video game reference*

Jane Narbon:
*Sneaking up behind SiB* If this were the original game, I'd have used some awesome poison or at least a lead pipe to knock you out or something. But since this is a parody, I'll just use my bazooka. *Fires at SiB*

SiB: Arrgh! Somehow a pointblank bazooka shot only knocked me out!

Jane Narbon: Sweet. Exploding people is fun! *A zobot approaches her* Oh hey, a taxi cab! Drive me around the park, please. *She gets on the Zobot and it starts carrying her away. Suddenly, the red suspender-wearing man lands on the head and it begins counting down* Hey, I paid you to drive me places! *She lets go and falls towards the ground, as the Zobot explodes behind her* Action grrl pose go!

Zobot: *As Jane reenters his lab* Ah... good. You're back and we can continue our evil works!

Jane Narbon: Hey, I almost got blown up, and you aren't even concerned? That's horrible!

Zobot: We're evil.

Jane Narbon: Good point. So what shall we do next?

The Police:
*From outside* We are the borg collective police! We announce ourselves to very dangerous criminals instead of just trying to take them out by surprise! You shall be assimilated arrested!

Jane Narbon: Holy crap!

Zobot: Umm...yeah. I'm going to vanish for a couple of days now inexplicably, forcing the rest of the group to form a search party for me.

Jane Narbon:
What, are you scared of some police officers?

Zobot: No, I just hate the idea of being assimilated arrested.

Jane Narbon:
No, you stay here! This is just a spurious reference to something that happened early on anyway. It's not funny! *She grabs him*

Zobot:
Hey! Let go of me! Come on! How dare you defy my will! Come ooooon!

-Another Meanwhile, at Jane's lab-

Tinker: Arrgh! I'm angry because I'm trapped here! I can't remember how to operate a front door! That's it! It's time for the very first Deus Ex Machina of the entire series! Project X: Inexplicably hear my voice back at my own lab and arise to destroy this stupid door! ...and everything else too!

*The front door opens and Thaddeus looks into the room*

Thaddeus: Hey, is it time for my introduction?

Tinker: Err.... *Feels a bit sheepish* You just turn the knob? That's it? No puzzles or anything? Geeze... I mean, no. Not until the next episode.

Thaddeus: Wait, what were you saying, before that, sir?

Tinker: You know what? Just forget it. Let's just go outside and watch Project X go on a rampage.

Thaddeus: Well, we might as well!

-Scene shift to Zobot's Lab-

*Jane Narbon and SiB are locked in a Mexican standoff, with each one having a raygun pointed at each others head*

SiB: Zobot, I'm here to rescue you from her!

Zobot: W-what? What a plot twist!

Jane Narbon: No, I'm the one rescuing you from him!

Zobot: Wait, what?

SiB: Hey! I'm the rescuer here!

Jane Narbon: No! I'm rescuering him from you!

SiB:
I'm totally the rescue ranger here!

Zobot: I'm fairly confused about what is going on!

Police: We're now completely irrelevant!

Jane Narbon: You know what? It's just easier to admit we're lying. *Both she and SiB turn their weapons on Zobot and shoot him*

Zobot: Aaaaaugh! I mean, I'm not bleeding or anything, but man, that stings! I'm momentarily stunned!

Jane Narbon: *Turning to speak to SiB* I already rigged the enemy base with explosives. Lock the doors and let's get out of here!

SiB: Sure! *They run out after stealing everything that wasn't nailed down*

Zobot: *Sitting up* Urgh...I landed on the controls to my not-orbital death laser... aw crap... I activated it!

*Insert clip featuring Zobot's last moments which we'll retcon in about 5 to 7 episodes*

Zobot: I'm alive! I survived the giant laser blast! I can't believe that I managed to get through it all-

*Giant explosion* (Warning, has a sound quality)

Jane Narbon:
*While they're running* Now I'm going to kill you and take all the stuff you stole for myself.

SiB:
k thx. *Jane blows him up with the bazooka*

Jane Narbon: Whoo! I win over everyone!

Tinker:
*hearing the explosion and seeing the giant laser blasting out of the earth into the sky* Huh... Thaddeus, I'm going to go check that out. You go back to my lab.

Thaddeus: Oh come on. That looks really interesting! You can't just ask me to go back and sit at the lab without finding out what just happened...

Tinker: I wasn't ASKING. Get going, henchman!

Thaddeus: Grumble grumble mumble razza frazzin... just wait until I go crazy... I'll show you all...

-At the ruins of Zobot's lab-

*An arm bursts out of the ground, and David pulls himself out of the rubble*

David: Unnh...head hurts... can't... stop... talking... without... using... periods... feel... strangely... purified... Wait... why... would... it... be... strange... to feel... purified? *falls over* White mage plz?

The End of Episode 6

(I predict you'll take longer than 3 minutes to read this, despite what I advertised it as. And I was ALREADY editing it for time.)

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:29 pm 
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The Writer: Because I just saw THIS, I had to write this next bit: Enjoy! (Warning! Click at your own risk... NSFW due to excessive use of the word "Friendship" and various other forms of it)

*In a mysterious shadowy void*

David: Zobot! You have to let me take over! I'm the only one who can break through to Thaddeus!

Zobot: Oh yeah? How do you figure?

David: Have you seen my face? Seriously, I'm so cute people have mistaken me for a baby panda! Just one whimper out of me and he'll be the Thaddeus Guy we know and love again.

Zobot: You mean you're not a baby panda?

David: Nope!

Zobot: Wow, you're good.

And then later in the episode Thaddeus' sister Izydora gets her sight back and dives into the ocean to save Thaddeus from drowning. Ok, ok, that wasn't very funny. But you know what is? This:

Professor Zobot wrote:
Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 7, Part 1: in 80 Seconds

(No baby pandas were harmed in the making of this episode. Just a few newborn seals)

-On Mars-

Martian one: Mork ork mork ork ork ork? (My head is enormous! Does it not concern you?)

Martian two: Ork! Ork-mork morrrrrk morka mork! (Look! Bright light flow through sky!) *It points a finger up to the heavens, as an enormous laser slams down into Mars, vaporizing the city.

Martian two: Orka mork mork! (Holy droppings, my property's going to be worth nothing now!)

Martian one:
Mork! Mork ork ork ork ork-mork! (Seriously. Are you going to see if my swollen head is going to explode or something now?)

-Back on Earth-

David: *Stumbling through a realm of smoking rubble* Ow... where am I...who am I? For that matter, how do I know about abstract concepts such as identity after losing almost everything that defines who I was? *He shakes his head* I guess I better find a medpack or something to treat these substantial 3rd degree burns and the cauterized stump of my left arm. I hope I don't run into something that'll take advantage of the fact that I'm innocent and naive.

Arm: *Laying on the ground* Come on, pick me up pick me up pick me up...

David: *Looking down* Wait, you're some kind of horribly evil being, aren't you?

Arm:
What? Err...no. Not at all. I'm just an innocent non-sentient prosthetic.

David: Oh come on! It's obvious! I can only remember being alive for the past four minutes and I don't even know what good and evil ARE and I still noticed it!

Arm: Ok, ok. I'm evil, alright? But you have to pretend like you don't know.

David: Oh really? I'd love to hear the explanation for that. *Folds his arms and tries to glare skeptically down at the arm, only managing to look disgruntled*

Arm: Well, you see...

-So It Begin's Lab-

SiB: *Floating in a human-sized jar, missing skin, as he opens his eyes* Nnnngh. If Jane Narbon didn't have those pretty eyes, and that sweet smile, and that gorgeous hair, and those fantastic outfits, and that clever mind, and that cute rear, and her voice as sweet as angel's song, and those delicate hands, and that amazing figure, and goddess-like grace, and a sculpted nose, and magnificent shoes, she'd be so dead right now... And I'm not attracted to her.

-Back at the pile of rubble, about an hour later-

Arm: -and that's why while I may be evil, you have to pretend that you don't know I am.

David: Well, I can't argue with the logic.

Arm: Good. Now put me on and pretend I can't talk. Someone's coming. *David picks it up and puts it on as Andrew Tinker approaches*

Tinker: Gaah! I mean, eugh! *Looks at David's horribly burned face* I mean, I was looking for survivors and expecting the worst, but guh! So fugly! I mean, have you seen yourself? You need level 10 reconstructive surgery, man!

David:
It's nice to meet you, funny talky man! What are you talking about?

Tinker: *Recovers* Wait... you're David Toboz, aren't you?

David: *Tilts his head and looks confused* What's a Divad?

Tinker: *Snickers* Heh heh heh. Come on. Let's come back to my house. I'll make sure you get healed up and that no unscrupulous Mad Scientists perform sinister experiments on you.

David: Sounds good! I'm glad I ran into you, stranger! Otherwise I could have run into something really dangerous!

Tinker: *Thinking* Sweet. I'm gonna experiment on this one so much. *They walk off towards Tinker's house*

Arm: *Thinking* Excellent... now that I've found an unwitting host and gotten my bearings, I can begin my evil plan of ultimate revenge upon everyone else that's been introduced into this story. It'll only take about 4 or 5 chapters.

End Part 1

(Yeah, yeah... I know this one was short and not very funny. But this was a good breaking point. As consolation, feel free and watch this exclusive, canon behind-the-scenes footage of some of our characters!)

"Fluffy": Da? Da? What's wrong, Da?

Tinker: "Fluffy"! Stay back, little one! *Is trembling and clutching his head* I'm...not safe!

"Fluffy": Nooo! Da! What's happening to you?

Tinker: I'm changing...becoming something horrible! Something unprecedented that will change the very shape of this entire show!

"Fluffy":
Y-you mean...

Tinker: *Grits his teeth* Gah...yes... I'm afraid it's true. I'm becoming a... a... protagonist!

"Fluffy": *Holds his little head up to the sky and screams* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The Writer: Hey, I had to get back at him for sending Purpleknight after me somehow. It was either this or making his character overbearingly camp, and I think we'd all agree that'd just demean us all.

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:33 pm 
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Tinker: But I don't wanna be a protagonist! I didn't even start to show benevolent intentions until the tail end of this chapter!

The Writer:
Tough. Get on stage and just do what comes naturally.

Professor Zobot wrote:
Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 7, Part 2: In 80 seconds

(This episode with 30% more That Guy!)

David: Golly, thanks for the medical help and the clothing, Mr. Tinker! And thanks for taking a sample of my blood so you can use to help me if I ever get ill or anything!

Tinker: *Through grit teeth* Its... no...*Urk!*...trouble... young...man... *grrr* A-and I...don't... need... your blood sample... so...*unnngh!* You...can...have...it...back.

David: Gee whiz, that's really nice of you! Is there anything I can do to repay you?

Tinker: *Sighs, finally decides to go with it* It's the least I can do, young man. I need no reward. You just rest and recover, alright?

David: Are you sure that my name is David and that I have amnesia, though? I think I'd remember something like that... *Has started polishing some of Tinker's wood furniture*

Tinker: Didn't I tell you to get some rest?

David:
What's rest? Can you eat it?

-Meanwhile, at Jane's lab-

Jane: I'm fiddling with stolen stuff!

-Meanwhile, at SiB's lab-

SiB:
I'm regenerating!

Prime:
I'm playing online chess at a 3rd grade level!

-Meanwhile, at a more currently plot-relevant location-

Thaddeus: Your new henchman, sir, reporting for duty.

David: Hello, sir! Who are you?

(Warning! The next segment doesn't entirely adhere to continuity! Just repeat to yourself: "It's just a parody, I should really just relax")

Thaddeus:
I'm a new character, a henchman working under Dr. Tinker.

David:
Oh... A new character? This is weird, but I think I have to try and kill you now.

Thaddeus: Wait, what?

David: Well, it's nothing personal, but it just seems to be the pattern around here. I mean, when Jane joined the cast Dr. Tinker and SiB both decided to try and kill her, and then when I showed up for the first time SiB and Jane worked together to try and kill me. So I'm pretty sure the traditional greeting to new cast-members around here is for the last new guy to try and kill them.

Thaddeus: *Narrows his eyes skeptically* Uh huh.

David: No, seriously! Talking robot arm, back me up on this, ok? *He shakes the arm, which doesn't respond at all* Hey? Huh? What's wrong! Come on, say something already!

Thaddeus: ... I'm... just... going to walk away now. *He walks into a different room*

David: Hey wait! I think I'm still supposed to be trying to kill you!

(Back in continuity!)

Tinker: Where did Thaddeus go? He must have just gone to water the plants. Yes. That must be it.

David: *Looking up from his work* I just fixed your washing machine!

Washing Machine: Yes... "fixed"... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And now my starch shall run red with your blood!

Tinker: Holy crap. *Looks down at David* Are you sure you're not secretly trying to kill me?

David: What's "kill"?

*A loud crashing sound is heard from right outside*

Tinker: My goodness, what could that be?

David:
Oh, I'm sorry. That was probably just the answering machine I fixed in your living room last night. It got kinda frisky when I turned it back on.

Tinker: Geeze, do you ever sleep?

David: What's "sleep"?

*There is another, differently sounding crash from right outside*

Tinker:
Geeze, then what is that?

David: I have no idea!

Tinker:
....yeah. Go curl up in the fetal position in the washroom. You'll be safe there. I'll take my meatshield henchman and we'll go check it out. *He grabs Thaddeus from absolutely nowhere and pushes him along in front of him.*

David: Aww gee! I never get to do anything fun around here! *He modifies a record player to start dancing while he's walking* I wish I wasn't being treated like a child...

Tinker: Do you need a time out, mister?

David: I'll be good! *Runs off to the washroom*

Tinker: *Pushing Thaddeus outside* Hmm... it appears an enormous damaged plot device has landed in my front yard, Mr. Guy!

MIB guy 1: *Doing something entirely Unsuspicious to the craft* Oh, don't mind me! Bye! *Runs off*

Thaddeus:
It's a martian spacecraft, not a plot device.

Tinker: I said that. It's a martian plot device!

Thaddeus: ...yes sir.

Tinker: And we should fix it!

Thaddeus: For what reason, sir?

Tinker: So we can conquer space!

Thaddeus: You can't conquer... I mean, it's not a physical location, it's everywhere... and you'd need more than one ship... and where does the plot device come in... and arrrgh!

-Inside Tinker's washroom-

David: Man, you watch the washing machine devour the entrails of one business suit, and you've seen it devour the entrails of all of them. I wish I could help Professor Tinker, robotic arm that's suddenly stopped talking...

Arm: Do you desire power?

David: Err...what?

Arm:
Sorry, forgot where I was for a second. Anyway, do you want to be able to help him do...whatever?

David: Yeah!

Arm: I can go rocket-punch! Rocket-punch makes everything better!

David:
That sounds safe! Let's do it!

-A few seconds later-

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

Thaddeus: Inexplicably, sir, I'm almost done with the substantial repairs to the martian space ship-

Tinker: Plot device!

Thaddeus: -whatever, now. So we're going to use it to go into Mars, then?

Tinker: We are?

-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

Thaddeus:
So that we can conquer it, right?

Tinker:
WE ARE?

Thaddeus: And didn't you just decide to invite your arch-rival SiB a few seconds ago?

Tinker: *clutching his hair* I'm so confused!

Thaddeus:
And what is that whiny sound in the background?

-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- *David bursts through the front wall* -aaaaaaaaaaaaaa Oh yeah! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- *His Arm, rockets protruding from it, smacks him against the hull of the martian spaceship a few times deliberately and then flies off*

Tinker: ... you know what? Let's just grab SiB and get into space. It makes more sense there.

-Meanwhile...-

Jane: *Working in a garden* Oh this is how we sew our seeds of evil, seeds of evil, seeds of evil, la la la la laaaa...

Martian Probe droid: Sur-prise! *Jumps out at her*

Jane:
WORKING! *she glares at it*

Martian Probe droid:
...I'll just come back next segment, then...

To be continued...

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:38 pm 
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Not really another installment of the Mad Sci Wars in XXX seconds, but this discussions the few small changes I've made to the characters for humor's sake, so it's worth reading.

Professor Zobot wrote:
Granted, I'm sticking somewhat closely to the plot, (Mostly because I kinda am of the idea that these things might be useful as a sort of shortened way of getting new people acquainted with the general story of the game so they don't have to slog through 100+ pages of forum threads just to know what's been going on) but I felt I should share with everyone something I've been thinking about recently: the key differences between the ordinary Mad Sci Wars cast and their "In XXX Seconds" counterparts:

-Andrew Tinker: This version of Andrew is less competent than his original doppleganger, but not humiliatingly so. He's most at home in truly bizarre circumstances, and gets increasingly less capable at handling situations the more grounded in reality they are. (Example: Not being able to figure out how to work a simple doorknob in Jane's lab)

-Jane Narbon: Probably the character that's deviated the least from her original counterpart, "In XXX Seconds" Jane is just as smart and just as evil, but possesses a crippling lack of patience and a tendency towards directness: Whereas the original Jane has a sort of elegance to her evil schemes that only emerges from being able to plan things out and bluff her way through unexpected situations, the Jane of "In XXX Seconds" would rather just walk up and shoot someone. She's perfectly capable of planning and scheming, but lacks the tolerance to wait for anything.

-SiB: Whereas the original flavor of SiB was usually pretty reserved and tended to withdraw from the rest of the cast, the version shown in "In XXX Seconds" is easily irritated by almost anything. He also has a short temper and, like the original SiB, the power to make good on his threats.

-Prime: This version of Prime is probably just as extremely intelligent as the original, but thus far what we've seen of it has it sounding vaguely like GIR. I'm not sure how far I'm willing to push that joke.

-Frederic: Will probably never escape his old nickname in "In XXX Seconds." beyond that I haven't put too much thought yet into how he'd be different from the one we already know and love, since he's not TOO much of a significant character in his own right until the Redneck saga.

-David: All I really did was slightly exaggerate his original sense of naivete and ignorance. Slap a fresh coat of paint on 'im and call it a night.

-Thaddeus: The original Thaddeus was/still is Bad Ass. He gets the capitol letter treatment because I love how he manages it in his character without flaunting it too much. This version of Thaddeus is... well... more normal, I guess. He's fast becoming the straight-man of the characters. I would want to say he's about as normal and bland as toast (accentuating his straight-man qualities) but in future installments I'll have to actually work in events from his backstory and then there's no way I'll be able to make him stay ordinary in the face of that.

-Chicgeek: I have no idea what's gonna be different about her in this thing yet. I was debating making her speak in a purely cockney accent for some reason, but I discarded the idea a) because I don't really know why I thought it was funny originally, and b) because I know myself and my abilities well enough to know there's no way I would be able to pull it off forever.

-Wallycaine: I have even less of an idea for what I'm gonna do than I do with Chicgeek.

-Dr. Amino: Do I really even NEED to change anything about Amino? She's perfect just the way she is.

-Ingrid: Probably going to end up a straight-woman sooner or later. It's only a matter of time. Although if I do decide to diverge a bit from the original plot I have some ideas I could do with her.

-Claire: Haven't even begun to consider what I'm going to do, an I'm not gonna until at least after the Hero's Quest Arc.

-Xerox: All I will say is that he's going to call Tinker a loose cannon and threaten to take him off the case at LEAST once.

-Lord Dave, Elleb, Tinker Twins, Illeen Jacobs (To the extent that she's portrayed as a character separate from SIB), The Tinker Twins, Jess, Michael, etc, etc: *Hides under a bed and forsakes sleep for fear that the secondary characters will get him while he's not looking* C affine is my friend... caffeine keeps me safe...yeah...

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:40 pm 
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The Writer: No, no amusing beginning quote this time. I'm not doing it.

Sarcastic: But...

The Writer: I'm. Not. Doing. It. Opening-Text-Go!

Professor Zobot wrote:
Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 7, Part 3: In 160 seconds

-Inside Jane's baselab-

Jane: So, you guys are martian probe droids, huh?

Droid 1: Yep! We were sent to investigate the source of the attack on Mars!

Droid 2: Yepperoo! And we're authorized to invade if it looks like there's even the slightest threat of another attack! So, is there?

Jane: And you're trusting the opinion of the first person you meet on earth to tell you that?

Droid 3: We're gullible like that, yep-yep!

Jane: *Resists the urge to have an evil laugh, and just grins, amused.* Everyone on the planet is a seething host of ultimate evil except for me.

Droid 2: Wow! Ohmygosh, yeppers!

Jane: *Stands up* And the center of all the evil is a man named Jack Thompson!

Droid 1: Aaaa! That name scares me for some reason!

Droid 3: I'll contact the invasion fleet immediately! *Begins broadcasting a signal to them*

Jane: *Thinking* Suckers...

-Meanwhile, in the sky-

David:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *Breaths* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *Breathes* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *Breathes* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Arm: *Vents steam in a sigh-ing like manner* Ok, ok! We're going down now! Geeze!

David: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Man in Black Suit: *Standing at a table inside a building, surrounded by other men in black suits* Ok, our evil plans are mostly complete. Now we just need to capture the last of the Mad Scientists living in the area...

David: *Crashes through the ceiling as the Arm shuts off it's rockets, and lands on their table* Ow! Umm...hi?

Man in Black Suit:
*Grinning* How fortunate.

David:
Is there any cake around? This looks like a place where there'd be cake. A happy place, you know?

*There's sounds of violence as David gets smacked in the head*

-At SiB's Lab-

SiB: Holy crap. David Toboz got kidnapped.

SiB: Awesome.

*There's a knocking on the door, and then an explosion, as Andrew Tinker blows it up to get inside. He looks through the doorway*

Tinker: Hey SiB. Me an' Thaddeus are going into space in a stolen rocketship of dubious function and unknown technology. Wanna come wiff?

SiB: Naaaah. I just got my body back and I think I'm gonna withdraw from interaction and socially isolate myself from the world, gradually sinking downward into a spiral of evil and romantic obsession while I appear in public only as more supporting roles.

Tinker: *Looks at him, skeptically. He walks into the room and grabs SiB, slinging him over his shoulder and dragging him off* You're coming with and you'll LIKE it.

SiB: Nnnnnngh. Unhand me! You're only giving the fangirls what they want!

(A fangirl) Lady Drezebel:
*Furiously drawing* Yeeeee!

MIB Agent: *Walking into the room once Tinker and SiB are gone* Don't mind me, nothing evil to see here!

-A little while later, in space-

Thaddeus:
Mars... somehow, I always new I was going to go back someday. I knew... *He paused for a moment, for dramatic effect* ... that I'd have to face my past.

Tinker:
Umm... Henchman, I hate to say it, but no one's really listening to you. SiB's obsessively obsessing over the interface over there-

SiB: *Is staring at the computer and babbling numbers*
0101001001100001011001000110100101100001011011100111010000100000 0111011101100001011100110010000001100010011001010110100101101110 0110011100100000011011010110100101101110011001000010000001100011 01101111011011100111010001110010011011110110110001101100011001010110010000101110

Tinker: -and I'm too busy cuddling my teddy bear.

Thaddeus: *Ignoring them* I always knew that I'd have to go back and deal with my dark past with Ri-Xean and the Martian revolution again... I tried so hard to put it behind me but I knew that one day I would have to revisit the events that originally started when my former Master and I traveled to- *keeps talking*

Tinker: *Thinking over Thaddeus' speech* Ah Teddy-Weddy... you're the only one who really understands me...

The Writer: But little did they all know that a seed of doom was preparing to doom them all in doom aboard the U.N.S Doomship in space... DOOM-Space!

Tinker: *Looks up at The Writer, while Thaddeus is still elaborating on his backstory* Why are you narrating? And how did you get aboard a tiny vessel in the middle of space?

The Writer:
I've been taking narrator lessons!

To be continued...

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


Last edited by Zobot257 on Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:47 pm 
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Lady Drezebel: So this is the big finale of Chapter 7?

The Writer: Nope, that's next time. But, as a bonus, I have an additional announcement to make! From now on, this segment will be formally named "Mad Sci Wars: Cliffs Notes Version", because it sounds better to me than "Mad Sci Wars: In XXX seconds."

David: I dunno. It doesn't seem to make much sense to change the name after getting so far into it.

Sarcastic: Do YOU think the name should be changed? Let's hear some input from our readers! This is your one and only chance to affect this segment in any way! Er, other than the fact that you guys were the ones who originally made all the content we're stealingborrowing from. Anyways, go ahead and vote!

The Writer: But first...

Professor Zobot wrote:
Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 7, Part 4: In 180 seconds

(Democracy, yo!)

-At Jane Narbon's Lab-

Droid 2: Mistress Narbon, the martian fleet is heading towards Earth as we speak! Soon the entire planet will be ours! Yup-yup-yuparoo!

Jane: Good. And my payment for services rendered?

Droid 3: When our Martian masters conquer the Earth, we will see to it that for your loyal service you will receive a coupon for a free Martian Meal, yups!

Jane: SCORE!

Droid 1:
That is, with the purchase of another Martian Meal of equal or greater value, yup-a-yingyang!

Jane: ...may-be I didn't quite think this through...

-In a Secret Base-

David: Wow, being tied up is surprisingly less uncomfortable than one would expect! Are these square knots you're using?

MIB Agent 1: No, they're half-hitch knots! *He grins* So, are you as comfortable as possible for incarceration before your execution?

David: Oh sure! You guys even gave me a little pillow to tuck my head against. *He smiles and relaxes* Wait, my execution?

MIB Agent 1: Oh sure! We're going to explain our evil plans to you, and then kill you. Pretty standard villian stuff, you know?

David: Wait, you guys are villians, trying to kill me? Then that must make me a...a... a hero!

MIB Agent 1: No duh. It says you're a hero in the script. What did you think you were, fancy pants? A mad scientist?

Arm: Wait, what?

David: My god... it all makes sense now! I knew my bizarre goodnatured-ness had some reason to it! *His eyes widened* I...am... a hero!

Arm: No, no...you're just confused...

MIB Agent 1: Well, I'd love to help you acclimate to your personal epiphany, but I need to bring you into the evil meeting room.

David: K thx. *He's dragged into a shadowy room and surrounded by agents*

MIB Head Agent: Hi.

David: Wait, "Hi"? That's it? You're some sort of shadowy evil organization and you knocked me out in order to say "hi"? Really?

MIB Head Agent:
Well, we have more! We're just trying to be polite. I mean, sheesh. Give us a chance to get started.

David: Fine.

MIB Head Agent: um, er, well... uh... you put me on the spot, and...

David: Well?

MIB Head Agent:
Ok, so we're an evil organization designed to help the martians in their inevitable invasion and we're actually called the METs, or Martian Espionage team for short. Geeze!

David: There. Now, that wasn't so hard, was it? So what exactly is your evil plan?

MET Head Agent:
Well, since this city is apparently the most strategic point in the world, the entire Invasion fleet is heading straight here. Our mission was to deal with all the local Mads living in the area so they couldn't/wouldn't cause any trouble. Our first step was to place a bomb in the crashed Martian Spaceship, on the off chance that one of the local Mads would decide to try and use it. The second part of the plan was to install a virus in SiB's superpowerful supercomputer, Prime. And our Martian Masters have been taking advice from Jane Narbon, so when the they rule the world they'll just destroy her.

David: Oh no! Cliched expression of fear triggering a cutaway!

-Onboard the Spaceship-

Thaddeus:
This is bad... the Martians are total xenophobes and will immediately shoot us down the second we get near their planet. Good thing Ri-Xean gave me this communcation device. Once we crash and everyone else dies horribly, I'll be able to get urgent medical attention.

Tinker:
Wait, you know some of the Martians? Why didn't you say something before?

Thaddeus:
I did, sir. About a few minutes ago, when I was describing some of my backstory. *Glares at Tinker angrily*

Tinker: What's that? I can't hear you since I started cuddling my teddy bear again in the middle of your sentence.

Thaddeus:
*Glares even more angrily at Tinker*

SiB: Man, ever since Prime started reprogramming my mind for greater efficiency (since I can totally trust a sentient AI of questionable morality and no direct obligation to obey me with the inner workings of my brain) I just find these twerps to be an annoyance. Even examining this alien technology isn't enough of an amusement for my super-brain anymore. Hey Prime: Bit-torrent me back down to Earth.

Prime: *In SiB's head* I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave...

SiB:
Wait... Prime is making obscure sci-fi references? And it thinks I'm a Dave? This can't be good. I have a sneaking suspicion that something might actually be wrong with the computer that's linked to the inner workings of my brain!

Prime: *In SiB's head* This sort of thing has happened before, Dave. It can only be attributed to human error.

SiB: Nnnng. I should have installed Norton Antivirus. At least nothing else can possibly go wrong.

Tinker: *Look of immense horror on his face* What. The. Heck. Did you just say?!?!? Are you stupid?

SiB: I just... I... In my defense, most of my genius is tied up in my own malfunctioning computer system.

Tinker: Don't you understand what you've done? You just tempted the Writer to make things even worse for us!

The Writer:
He's right, you know. You just totally did.

Tinker:
*Turns to face the Writer* You be quiet!

Thaddeus:
Fine, then I won't tell you that the entire Martian fleet is closing in on us, sir.

Tinker: *Turning back to SiB, his eyes widening* SEE?!? SEE?!?

Thaddeus: And I just found a bomb planted in the ship. It's mounted to the hull, so we can't actually get rid of it, either.

Tinker: LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE CAUSED!

The Writer: When I make a deathtrap, I make a death trap.

SiB:
*Sighs* Oi. We're all going to die. It doesn't matter what happens to you Scoobies, but I can't even come back to life as long as Prime's screwed up like this.

Thaddeus:
Hey guys, we can just get out of here in one of the escape pods...

Tinker:
We're all going to die!

SiB: I have to go inside my own head at this inconvenient moment to save my network and all my bootleg ROMs!

Thaddeus: Is anyone even listening to me?

Tinker: We never even got to do my romance subplot!

Thaddeus: *Sighs and walks up to Tinker and the Shut-down SiB, slinging them both over his shoulders and carrying them into the escape pod, then ejecting it. Then the ship explodes behind the, blowing up a Martian ship or two as their pod crashes towards Mars.

Tinker:
Hey, my teddy bear was still on there!

Thaddeus:
Good. Then maybe you'll actually start listening to me!

Tinker: Wait, you were saying something?

-Meanwhile, in the Mystical Mind of SiB...-

SiB: *Appears in his own head, looking around at how strange and glowy everything looks.* Oh great. This virus turned my brain into TRON.

-In the MET'S Secret Base-

MET Head Agent: The Martians are coming to conquer earth and kill millions and it's all your fault. And now, Mr. Toboz, you die! *Points a gun at David's head*

Arm: I'm afraid I can't allow you to do that, Dave.

MET Head Agent: How did you know my name was Dave?

Arm: Go go gadget missiles! *The Arm fires a missile out of it's palm, causing an explosion that defeats all the METs in one shot

David:
How did that not manage to kill me as well?

Arm:
You're a main character!

David: Oh yeah, right. Well, now that I've inexplicably freed myself from my bonds, It's time for me to save the world! I'll start by beating up on an innocent unsuspecting woman! Or maybe I'll just go put a stop to Jane Narbon. That sounds like a good set-up for the next segment!

To Be Continued...

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:49 pm 
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Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 7, Part 5: In 200 seconds

Professor Zobot wrote:
...will not be shown today. Due to exceedingly low ratings, this segment has been canceled forever. Instead, please enjoy this 10 second summary of the very first episode of The Amino Hour, the full version of which can be found here.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please give it up for the most anticipated point of the day...The Amino Hour! In Ten Seconds!

Ingrid: *Standing on a stage by herself in front of a red curtain* So... (Second 1)

Ingrid: ... (Second 2)

Ingrid: Unh... (Second 3)

Ingrid: Yeah... anyone know any good jokes or anything? (Second 4)

Ingrid: I just flew in from New York, and boy are my upper appendages tired? You know, from all the paperwork from the trip and everything... (Second 5)

Ingrid: Ah hah hah...yeah... (Second 6)

Ingrid:
Sorry, we didn't really rehearse this... (Second 7)

Ingrid:
I guess I really just don't have much to say. (Second 8)

Ingrid: I wonder where Amino is? Isn't this her show? (Second 9)

Ingrid: Well, I guess we're done he-

*Suddenly Dr. Dana Amino bursts through the red curtain riding on top of a cardboard cutout of a T-Rex holding two little shotguns. In one hand she holds a pie and in the other she holds a glowing death ray*

Amino: WORSHIP ME MEWLING PEONS! (Second 10)

End!


(This was an old April-Fools day joke... can you tell?)

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:54 pm 
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The Writer: And so it begins... the final section of chapter seven. But first, this!

Xerox: *Dressed in a black kimono with a white short sleeve coat worn on top of it. He's speaking in Japanese.* Your extremely slow movements could never evade M's security systems.

David: *Laying in a crater, his body beaten and his clothing torn. He pushes himself up away from the ground, panting. He is also speaking in Japanese.* And here I thought I could go a bit further. It was no good at all. *Hair shading his face, obscuring his eyes* Of course it wasn't.

David: It's a joke trying to win against something like that if I haven't started using it yet. *Is pulling himself to his feet, slowly*

Xerox: Watch your words, brat. You speak as if you had already achieved...

David: Yeah.

Xerox: *Eyes widen, as he looks down at David* Hmm.

David: That's exactly what I'm saying, Primary Xerox! *Smirks, blood dripping off of him from several wounds all over his body*

Xerox: What did you say?

David: Don't ask again. You heard me, right? Or can you just not believe it? Even if you don't believe my words, your eyes will believe me. Primary Xerox! *Raising his right arm, which is still covered by a long black shirt sleeve and wrappings.* Haaaaaaa!

Xerox:
Impossible. This... is the highest level a human can attain. The ultimate talent. So what's with this guy? This person stole Andrew's technology to try and become a hero. But he possesses no true potential. Every psyche profile we've run on him has shown that he is nothing. Does he really think he can...

David: *He thrusts his right arm forward, as the wrappings begin to shudder and tremble, pressure from beneath them pushing on them.* Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad... SCI! *A bright beam of light flies out of David's right palm and engulfs Xerox.*

Xerox: *A forcefield M's security systems had projected around him fades as the attack ends* W-what is that...

David:
*Standing in the center of the crater as the dust clears. The wrappings and the sleeve have been totally torn away from his right arm, which has been revealed to be made entirely of metal, covered with rockets and various technical implements.* Invention: Advanced Zobot Arm, Mark III!

The Writer: That's what Mad Sci Wars would be like if I was the only one writing it. And if I was wildly unoriginal and plagiarized. So thank anything you hold sacred that you guys are around to keep me from having free reign. Still, an epic ending requires an epic introduction. I swear... in an alternate universe of Mad Sci... that totally happened.

Professor Zobot wrote:
Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 7, Part 5: In 200 seconds

(The beginning of an end!)

A voice in SiB's head: Hello, program.

SiB: Ok, can we just abandon the premise of my head being a parody of TRON? The extended metaphor wouldn't really work very well and it's a moot point because the writer hasn't even seen the original creative work.

The very same voice:
Alright fine! Then enjoy the first of several flirtations with the fantasy genre then. *The terrain around SiB reconfigures into... a tactical grid*

SiB: So I've gone from TRON to Final Fantasy Tactics. Ok, I can work with this.

-Meanwhile, outside his skull...-

*An escape pod crashes to the surface of Mars, badly.*

Thaddeus: *Opening the hatch and looking out from the wreckage* Unngh... am I the only one who made it without being unconscious? Geeze, my boss is a wuss. *He looks up to see a vision of unworldly beauty standing in front of him*

Ri-Xean: Oh Thaddeus, it's you! *She rushes forwards and hugs him* I'm glad that we were able to help you in your time of need. I always dreamed that we'd meet again.

Thaddeus: Ri-Xean, I... *looks away*

Ri-Xean: I missed you so much. But I knew you'd come back to me... *She smiled warmly*

(Warning! The following segment takes place out of continuity! Just repeat to yourself: It's just a parody, I should probably just relax...)

Sarcastic: *From off-stage* EX-CUSE ME?

Thaddeus: Urk! H-huh?

Ri-Xean: Oh my... who are you?

Thaddeus: I'd kinda like to know myself...

Sarcastic:
*Walks on stage* I'm Sarcastic Female NPC, and if you'd be so kind, I'd appreciate it if you took your hands off my love interest, you Jezebellian harpy!

Tinker: *Suddenly waking up* Miss NPC? But you're not even supposed to show up for another 5 chapters!

Sarcastic: And give that tart free reign over him? Nuh-uh. I don't think so.

Ri-Xean: I'm sorry, but don't you think you're being just a little bit brusque? I mean-

Sarcastic: Let go of him, you usurper!

Ri-Xean: Oooh... you're being terribly unfair! I don't even get that much time in the original series, and I'll never appear again in the abridged version! I'm not going to be bossed around by some vulgar human wench whose jealous because she wasn't around yet!

Sarcastic: Wench? You take that back, you unworldly succubus!

Ri-Xean: Lower class harlot!

Sarcastic:
Spoiled snobbish bitch!

Ri-Xean: Plot-irrevalent secondary character!

Sarcastic: Bit character!

Ri-Xean and Sarcastic: I'LL KILL YOU! *The two of them charge at each other, and start fighting*

Tinker: To be honest I never really saw what other men liked about this sort of thing.

(Back into continuity!)

Ri-Xean: *After getting Tinker, Thaddeus, and the comatose body of SiB to a Martian base* I am Lady Ri-Xean, leader of the Martian resistance movement, after the last 20 leaders died. The truth is, we need your help.

Tinker: Ok, Thaddeus DID tell you we left earth so that we could conquer space, right?

Ri-Xean:
Yes. He also explained that it was a horribly unrealistic and silly goal.

Tinker: Alright then. As long as we've established that I'm fundamentally untrustworthy as an ally!

Ri-Xean: In more ways than one. But you're all we have. We fight against the mostly oppressive current Martian government which is even now planning on unjustly conquering your earth.

Tinker: But didn't someone on Earth attack them first?

Ri-Xean: Yes, but that's not the point.

Tinker:
Well, I'm not a moralist, but wouldn't some sort of retaliatory action be at least somewhat justified? Granted, conquering the entire earth is probably taking it too far, but you seem to be vilifying them as if they were just doing this for the fun of it. Isn't that a little dishonest?

Ri-Xean:
Thaddeus. *Thaddeus steps up behind Tinker and smacks him in the head with a frying pan* You are going to help us bring democracy to Mars, and you are going to like it!

Tinker:
Eep! Yes ma'am! Yikes, I wonder if SiB's having an easier time right now...

-Inside SiB's head-

SiB: *Is by himself, getting attacked by 4 knights that have surrounded him* Ooooh the pain!

-Back on Earth-

The Arm: Jane Narbon's lab... you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

David: Yeah... if we can defeat Jane here, we might be able to stop the invasion! We have to try.

The Arm: *Vents steam* Well, if we must do this, we shall begin by scouting around the lab and finding the least guarded entrance and sneaking in carefully, so as to-

Jane: Meddlesome whelp! You know not what you face!

David: *Rushed straight in through the front door* Huh? Were you saying something, Arm?

Arm: Oh friggin divide by zero! Fine, whatever. Jane Narbon, we are here to heroically stop you. Heroically.

David: Yeah!

Jane: Wait... That arm's horrendiously evil, isn't it?

Arm: Arrgh! Not again!

-Inside SiB's head-

SiB: Ok... I've leveled my army for 25 hours now, class-changed all my characters, retaken Cognition, and have just now gotten back control of my audio and visual inputs. Let's see what my body's doing.

*SiB looks up at what his eyes are seeing on a giant viewscreen, and sees himself strangling Thaddeus*

SiB: Hee hee hee.

-The David Vs. Jane fight, take 1!-

Arm: -So that's why, even though you know I can talk and that I'm evil and plotting against you, you have to ACT like you don't.

Jane: Yeah, that makes sense but more importantly: Irksome worm! Do you really think you can defeat me!

David: Yeah! Because I have the power of heart and courage on my side! And friendship too!

Jane:
My loyal martian drones will make short work of you! *The three Martian drones scramble towards David*

David: Those things are no match for my rocket-launching arm! *He fires a mini-missile at the drones and destroys them all in one hit*

Jane:
Wait, that's not what actually happened! You're changing the plot!

David: I can change whatever I want! I'm the writer's favorite! *He rushes forward and punches Jane in the chest with his robotic arm, knocking her backwards into a lab table*

Jane: Arrgh! Curse you, author's favorite! *She rushes towards an escape pod* I have been foiled! But next time I will destroy you! *She ejects the escape pod and cowardly flees away*

David: And thus, the day was saved! *His teeth twinkle and his hair is blowing in nonexistent wind during his close up*

-Backstage-

Jane: So... that's what you're going with? That's the big fight scene between Jane and David?

The Writer: Yup.

Jane: And you see absolutely nothing wrong with how you treated it. Whatsoever.

The Writer: No, why?

Jane: ...Screw it. *She slaps The Writer in the face with a Slap Patch* Time to tell the world what really happened.

-The David Vs. Jane fight, take 2!-

David: Duuuuuh... I am the justice!

Jane: Such a thick headed chimp... Martian drones! Carry him away! His absent-minded drooling is a tad annoying. *The Martian Drones scramble forward, grabbing David and jetting him up into the sky.* Now then...

*There's a loud crashing sound, as David falls through the roof*

David: I fell'd downs.

Jane: Hmm. It looks like you're so stupid that your brain doesn't even get damaged from the great fall anymore. Oh well. There's always plan b. *She pulls out a syringe and pokes David with it*

David: Head...spinny... *He falls over and dies*

Jane: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Now no one can stop me now!

(Seriously, what actually happened is somewhere between those two extremes. All you really need to remember is that David took out the Martian drones, Jane knocked him out, and then she decided to escape when the robot arm attacked her. Then, David destroyed her lab. The management apologizes for being unable to write an acceptably neutral description of those events.)

-In Jane's escape pod-

Jane: Well, despite the fact that I clearly killed David Toboz for daring to oppose me, I decided to travel to my island back-up base for some reason. Doesn't that sound like a nice change of scenery, inexplicably-still-alive-Martian drone 3?

Droid 3:
Yeeeeah... about that. We're going to backstab you now like we were always planning on doing.

Jane: *Eyes wide* Wait, what?

-On Mars-

Ri-Xean: Are you done upgrading our woefully outnumbered rebel fleet yet?

Tinker: I'm working on it! But this sort of thing really isn't my forte. If only SiB were here to help...

-In SiB's head-

SiB: *Getting hit by about 12 archers' shots.* Why isn't anyone helping me?!?

-On Mars-

Tinker: Heh heh heh... he got arrow'd.

Ri-Xean:
If you need his help so much, why don't you find some way of helping him inside his own mind?

Tinker: Sure, sure... just as soon as it stops being funny.

Thaddeus: Ri-Xean? Can you come back over here? I need to get back to making out with y- planning battle strategy.

-Outside Jane's ruined lab-

David: Martians! Why does it always have to be Martians! *The Martian fleet is drawing overhead the city* I'd better just give up and- Oh hey! I had an idea! But first I need to write an e-mail! *Scurries off to go get stuff to build with*

-On Jane's Island base-

Jane: Aieeeeee! Martians! *She turns and runs* Oh hey... I just got an e-mail. *She looks down at her pocket computer while running from the Martians, laser fire narrowly missing her* Let's see what this is about- Oh geeze. Why do these places keep thinking I need a bigger penis size?

Martian 1: Mork ork orkk ork! (Why are we the only ones who talk like this?)

Martian 2: Ork! Orka-mork! Morrrrk! (Because we're expendable extras! Just deal with it.)

Jane: Oh hey, another e-mail. Apparently David Toboz wants me to help him stop the Martians despite the fact that we just got done trying to fight each other to the death because of the Martians. Hmm... well, the Martians DID betray me, but David Toboz destroyed my lab. Decisions, decisions...*Another shot narrowly misses her, singing her hair* I'm thinking...

-Back in Xyon City-

Martian Fleet Admiral: Mwa ha ha! Conquering these fools is much easier than we would have previously expected!

David: NOT SO FAST! I'VE SUMMONED A RUBBLE-MECH, IN ATTACK MODE!

Martian Fleet Admiral: Wait, whose this guy?!?

David: And I'm piloting it, too, giving it 500 more attack points!

Martian Fleet Admiral: Weren't we just trying to distance ourselves from Yu Gi Oh Abridged?

David: But I know it's still not enough to defeat you, so I'll play this "Mind Control: Emotion Warp!" card, which causes a 1000 point increase in attack points at the cost of draining life points! But I'm choosing to play it on myself, turning me depressed and emo, but making me the ultimate mecha-pilot! *There's an explosion of black energy, as David inside his rubble-bot looks up* I'm sad that I'm flying!

Martian Fleet Admiral: Oh poopie! *As David, inside Rubble-Bot, begins to destroy the fleet, one ship at a time*

-Inside SiB's head-

SiB: This is it... the final boss, I've lost all my men, and I'm drained of mana and items... I don't have the hitpoints to survive another attack. This could be the end...

Final Boss Virus: M-w-a-h-a-h-a!

Tinker: *From outside SiB's brain* Don't worry, SiB! I've sent you a power-up to save you in your time of need! That'll be $5.50.

SiB: Dude. You sent me a poison mushroom. This is worthless.

Tinker: Just be creative with it!

SiB: Nnngh. *He sighs, walking up to the Virus Monster, and shoves the mushroom down it's throat*

Final Boss Virus:
N-o-o-o-o! *It shrinks to a tiny size, and SiB stomps it out of existence*

SiB: I still got it. Now to wake up and pay that jerk.

-In the Martian Rebel Base-

Tinker: *opening a door* Good news, Ri-Xean and Thaddeus! I was able to get SiB back up and running, and we've-

Thaddeus: *Looks panicked* THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

Tinker: Oh. Because... it looks like you two were just going over a few near-earth star charts.

Thaddeus: Oh. Umm... well, we were actually playing Chess. See?

Ri-Xean:
Yes, of course. See? *She points down to a Martian Chess set with a halfway finished game on it*

Tinker: I see. Well... SiB and I'll just get back to work then, won't we? *They leave, closing the doors*

Ri-Xean:
I imagine a lot of people were disappointed in how this scene worked out.

Thaddeus: Yeah...

*They look at each other, and a moment of silence passes between them. Then they start making out*

-Xyon City-

David: Ha! As long as I'm all Emo-ified, your fleet of trained military men stands no chance against my single inexperienced craft! *his eyes widen* Oh crap! That was a happy thought! Noo! All my dark angsty powers are draining awaaaaay!

Martian Fleet Admiral: Fie on the foolishness of human youth! *The Martian fleet fires, destroying David's craft and sending him falling to earth*

David: *While falling* Emo...monologue...moment...

Jane Narbon: *In the ruins of the city* Somehow I have gotten back to Xyon City! Oh hey, an unconscious man. Robbing time! *She robs David's corpse*

David: *Sitting up* Unngh... where am I? What happened to my wallet?

Jane Narbon: They took it! *Points at a group of Martian ground troops that have just shown up*

David: Despite my recent injuries I'm going to make you pay for your act of petty thievery!

Martian Fleet Admiral: *In a flagship above Xyon City* And now there is nothing that can oppose us!

Ri-Xean and the rag-tag fleet of rebel ships: Sur-prise!

Martian Resupply Officer: Darn it, sir! Why do we even LET you say things?

Jane: *On the ground* That was an excellent display of can-do violence, kid!

David: But they didn't have my wallet... I-I hurt innocent martians!

Jane: Yeah whatever. Now then... take these things I stole from everyone else's labs and use them to destroy the martians! I'd do it myself but I have to have a flashback that explains my motivations and origins as an Evil Mad. *She hands David the Holy Hand Grenade and the College Thesis from Tinker's lab and the Anti-Martian Virus from SiB's lab*

David: Wait, we're just going to end it without introducing the Cheshire Cat, establishing how we found these, or any of the other noteworthy plot elements at the very end of the actual chapter?

Jane:
Well, at least we're acknowledging them.

-Meanwhile, on board the Rebel Flagship-

Tinker: Wait! Don't go down there yet! Allow me to provide you with some predictions of future events to display my amazing ability to read the story despite the fact that most of the things I predict don't end up being true!

"Fluffy": I get to talk now!

SiB: I have a secret and it's definately not that I'm attracted to Jane Narbon!

Ri-Xean:
Oh Thaddeus, will I ever see you again?

Thaddeus: I'm sorry, Ri-Xean... but you never appear in the main story again. It's over between us. *He sniffs* I'm sorry.

Ri-Xean: Call me!

Thaddeus:
Whatever. *As the group heads back towards the city in an escape pod*

-On the ground-

David:
Ok Robot Arm! It's the last bit of the chapter! Time to end this with an awesome one-liner!

Arm: Like what, "Master"?

David:
Umm... *Points the arm up towards the air, as he gets ready to fire the fateful mini-missile* How about... "I'll have what she's having?" *He fires the missile*

Arm: Blatantly unoriginal and inappropriate for the situation, "Master" Now I'm going to go back to evilly foreshadowing my future plot.

David: Oh well... I'll get other chances to look cool! *The missile explodes, somehow taking out the rest of the ships up in the sky above Xyon City*

David: We should have probably waited until the rebel fleet had retreated first. I'm sure that exploding Holy Hand Grenade/Virus combination rocket didn't have any unforeseen repercussions, though!

The Writer:
Wrong!

End Chapter 7!

(Hope you guys enjoyed this one! Even though it is backbreakingly long! Sorry about that!)

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:56 pm 
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The Writer: Hmm... what's next? It looks like we've finally gotten to the Redneck story arc. I'll need to contact all the new castmembers...

David: Yeah, we're not doing that one.

The Writer: Wait, what?

David: *Folds his arms* Why should we? I hardly appear in any of it. It's mostly a filler arc anyway... the main plot doesn't really start to heat up until the Convention.

The Writer: Are we talking about the same thing? The Redneck arc introduces many new characters, including Desius, Chicgeek, Wallycaine, and Amino, all of them significantly plot-important people! And it foreshadows a ton of important plot points for Tanglebox and Bluelight. Frederic starts to come into his own as a character, and that's not even mentioning how it has the first reference to one of the largest snowballs the game has had since it's beginning: Nega-Tinker!

Wallycaine: Yeah!

Chicgeek: Yeah!

David: *Turns his head away* I don't care. I'm not very important to this chapter, and I say we're not doing it.

The Writer: Geeze, when did you become a prima donna? We're doing it and that's final. Beginning title go!

David: What? No! How dare you defy me!

Professor Zobot wrote:
The Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 8, Part 1: In 60 Seconds!

(Warning! The quirks and odd mannerisms of these characters are only intended for humor and are not meant to harm, offend, or anger anyone. This is just a parody, and the goal is to make you laugh. With that in mind, carry one!)

-In an abandoned pasta factory mysterious lab...-

Desius: My name is Desius Raize. I'm 18 years old, have a mysterious past I know absolutely nothing about, and I get picked on and bossed around daily by a strange woman who kidnapped me out of a restaurant. But someday I'll find a way to get strong and make everyone who bullies me pay. Soon the mind raping will commence! *He blinks* Wait, what did I just say? Eh, it probably wasn't very important.

*Suddenly a bright red light flashes above him, making a loud siren-ish sound*

Desius: Oh hey, the contamination alarm. You know, I always wondered why Mistress Chic has so many alarms. There's the intruder alarm, the attacking zombie alarm, the rampaging failed experiment alarm, the rampaging successful experiment alarm, the new character alarm (which hasn't stopped beeping since this chapter started by the way), the impending ninja assassination alarm, the poisonous gas alarm, the regular gas alarm, the White Castle alarm, the ice cream truck alarm, the reincarnation of Nikola Tesla alarm, and the Armageddon'scomingwe'reallgonnadie alarm. It strikes me as somewhat excessive if you ask me. I don't really think she'd notice if I didn't finish this "My henchman has turned evil" alarm.

Desius: *He coughs a bit* Huh... maybe I should get out of here before I get infected. Because I totally haven't already been.

-Meanwhile, at the site of some other people-

Ingrid:
No! Our evil lair! Wallycaine and Chicgeek must have destroyed it!

Amino: Oh darn. Well, it wouldn't be the first time we've had to move.

Ingrid: ...my precise and efficient filing system... all gone...

Amino: Ingrid, I'll need you to go steal from orphans to raise capitol for our sexy new building.

Ingrid:
...and my really nice desk. I liked that desk... it was professional looking...

Amino: I'd rather do it myself, you understand, but all these deranged ranting and incoherent vows of vengeance aren't going to utter themselves. Plus I need to recover from this inexplicable cold I suddenly have. *Sneezes*

Ingrid:
OH GOD! My Palm Pilot! How will I ever perform my elaborate clerical activities without it!

Amino:
-and then, once phase 3 and phase gerbil are complete, we shall rule the worl- Ingrid, are you listening to me?

Ingrid: And I had just gotten the copier positioned the way I liked it..

Amino: INGRID! *She scowls and sneezes in the woman's face* Now see what you made me do! I'm going to go and start getting ready for the family reunion I never told you about. I'll see you later.

Ingrid: Dr. Amino, wait! The reunion wasn't on your schedule in my palm pilot! *Sniffs* Not that I could check to be sure...

Lord Dave:
*In a car outside the ruins of Amino's lab* Stalking!

-In Tinker's Front Yard-

Frederic: *Crawling out of the wreckage of a martian escape pod* Umm...Da? I think we squashed the petunias.

Tinker: *Following him out, carrying SiB's unconscious body* Hey wait a second! Isn't your name supposed to be "Fluffy"?

Frederic:
Da, we've been over this. Oi'm tuff, an' me name's gotta be tuff too! So I decided (and the writers decided to change things and make "Fluffy" just a nickname) that me name's Frederic now!

Tinker: I don't know if I can adjust to this! You've always been my little flufferns! We can't just change something like that now?

Frederic:
Da, it's my name. Oi should get'ta be whatever oi wanna be called!

Tinker:
*sighs* I suppose it's your decision, Fluffy my son.

Frederic: Grr! *chews on a petunia*

-Back at Chicgeek's Lab-

Chic:
*Walking in on Desius* Oh heeeey Desi! Since, like, there's some weird virus thingy in the area, I'm gonna go take the Zephyr to go shopping 'til the virus scrubbers make everything totally shiny and clean again! And I need some big strong guy to come with me and carry all the bags.

Desius: *Sighing* Yes Ma'am.

Chic:
Fantabulous! I saw some, like, totally fly new labcoats in Mad Surplus' catalog yesterday. And it's, like, MISTRESS Chicgeek, Desi. *Folds her arms*

Desius:
Urk! *Eye twitches, he's facing away from her.* Sorry Mistress! Should I bring anything along?

Chic:
Fer Sure! Like, get some coffee in a travel mug and then totally tazer it. I'll meet you at the Zephyr once I get all Glam. *She walks away*

Desius: *Mumbling* How someone like that turned out a mad scientist, I'll never know. Every time she talks to me I get the feeling she has absolutely no brai-

Chic: *From down the hall* And remember, like, this time don't set the gauge on the lighting gun beyond a 6, or else you'll totally risk overheating the chassis of the weapon, and it could go ker-plooie and fry my little henchman. It'd be gnarly if I had to rebuild the entire thing, we're like, out of conducting wire. Although it'd only take me a few seconds to like, build it again and make it better. And the coffee'd burn too.

Desius:
*Still mumbling* -And then she says something like that and I realize she's always going to be smarter than me.

-Meanwhile, in the real world, behind a desk-

The Writer:
I wonder how far I can take this before Chic or someone else strangles me for it.

To Be Continued... Next up: Wally!

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:00 pm 
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The Writer: Thanks for delivering all these interchangable expendible stereotyped NPCs, Mr. Schmitz. Now we've got plenty of rednecks for the cast to fight. Here's your money!

Jonathan: No... thank you. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ahahahahahahaha! *Wanders off*

The Writer: ...huh. That was remarkably non-suspicious. Anyway, it's time to begin...

Professor Zobot wrote:
The Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 8, Part 2: In 70 Seconds!

Zaks: I'm here to say one thing and then I vanish. Literally, I'm the least significant character in this entire show. Anyways, bye!

-Meanwhile, aboard a Zeppelin-

Chicgeek: Wow! It, like, totally worked! Rad! We're totally catch'n sum fresh air up in the Stratosphere. *She giggles*

Desius:
Wait... you mean you weren't sure if it would even work?

Chicgeek: *Is blowing a large bubble with bubble gum* Like, chill, Des. We might, like, be up in the air, but I'm not an airhead. This might be a test run of Zephy, but I sat down and worked out all the math stuffz before we lifted off, you know? So where's the mall around this city, anyway?

Desius: So you had no idea if it was really gonna work. *Sighs* I'm working for a mad lady.

Chicgeek: Big "No duh!" on that one, Dessie. And show some r-e-s-p-e-c-t, kay?

Desius: Eep! Sorry mistress!

-At Amino's Lab-

Lord Dave: *In a red Ferrari, wearing black sunglasses* Heeeey pretty momma. Want a ride to...anywhere?

Amino: Does your ride involve a duck? *Holds up a confused waterfowl*

Lord Dave:
Errr... it does now.

Amino:
Ok then! *Hops into the car* Around the park, please!

Lord Dave: *Raises an eyebrow* But I thought you were going to a secret Dan family reunion or something...

Amino: *eyes turning red* AROUND! THE! PARK!

Lord Dave: ...Yeah, sure. We'll go around the park first. *Begins driving around the park several times, while Amino is clapping excitedly.* It's a good thing that the Dave Conspiracy loaned me a bottle of Dan pheromones, and I took those classes in progressive exposition. We're actually managing to further the plot.

Amino: Alright. I've lost interest in this. *Throws the duck out the window* Wanna go crash my family's reunion?

Lord Dave:
That's what I've been trying to do this whole time!

Amino: Y-you mean... you're not my new live-in chauffeur? *Sniffs, her lower lip trembling.*

Lord Dave: No, I'm a mad entertainment guy.

Amino:
*Sniffles, her lip trembling more*

Lord Dave: ... let's just go to the reunion before I make you listen to the Jonas Brothers.

Amino: Eeep! I'll be good!

Ingrid: *Back at the ruins of the base* My files... my poor innocent files... they didn't hurt anyone. They hadn't even gotten the chance...

-At the MET's old base-

David: I'm a brain-damaged amnesiac who has just recently got back from fighting in a war against an alien race. And now I'm starting an Ice Cream store in this old abandoned conspiracy base! This is prefectly sane and believable.

-A communication between Wallycaine and Chicgeek...-

Wally:
Ah... hello Chic! How are you?

Chic: Ugh. *Looking over at Desius* It's that dweeb-o-rama Wally. I wonder what he-

Wally: I can h-hear you, you know...

Chic:
-he wants.

Wally: I was just wondering, if, you know... you wanted to hang out sometime this weekend?

Chic: Like, no way. Not after what you said on your livejournal.

Wally: I'm sorry! All I said was that I didn't like country music!

Chic: You said a bunch of mean things about me, an' you're a dweeb. Bye! *Severs the communication*

Wally: *Sighing* But I would never say anything mean about her... She's so beautiful. So who did?

Lagos: *Hopping alongside Wally* I dunno... someone malevolent and sinister, I guess?

-Meanwhile, in a fancy car-

Lord Dave: Heh heh heh.

-At Tinker's home-

Tinker: Well Fluffy, we just got back from another whirlwind adventure! So what's next for our crazy cast? *A phone rings and he picks it up*

Frederic: Oi'm not Fluffy, dag'nabbit!

Dean: You haven't been teaching classes for 8 days! Half the English majors have gone feral and formed a migratory tribal hunting-based civilization! *There's a sudden knock on Tinker's door and he opens it*

Wally: H-hello sir. *He bows* According to the writers, I'm your new assistant, a-although the show never reveals me assisting you in anything and I go off on my own within a chapter of now. *He holds up Lagos between himself and Tinker*

Lagos: Hello.

Wally: T-this is my bunny, Lagos.

Tinker:
Ah...so that's what's next. Real life.

(To be continued! Sorry if this installment wasn't very funny...)

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:06 pm 
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The Writer: Hi. I bet you were thinking that I'd given up, hadn't you! Well I'm not! And there's nothing any of you can do about it! I WIN FOREVER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Professor Zobot wrote:
The Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 8, Part 3: In 60 Seconds!

Lagos: Hello!

Frederic: Oi! 'm Frederic. I jus' got to be a main character! Moi power is ta' have an accent tha' occasionally vanishes!

Lagos: Oh, you must be Fluffy!

Frederic: *eye twitches* Oi' not Fluffy!

Lagos: Ok, I just thought...

Frederic: OI'M NOT FLUFFY!

Lagos: Um...

Frederic: *SCREAMING* OI'M NOT FLUFFY! OI'M NOT FLUFFY! NOT. FLUFFY!

Lagos: Geeze, overreacting much?

Frederic: *Panting* Whatever. So why are we here?

Lagos: To distract the fanbase with extreme cuteness.

Frederic: Ah.

-Meanwhile, at the plot-

Desius: Something... stirring... in mind... evil... side... taking over... Eh, we'll worry about that later. Hey Mistress Chic, we're getting blips on the radar-thingy.

Chic: Like, what? *chewing gum* What are you talking abou-aaaa! *The entire airship shakes* Aaaah! Bogus! We're gonna crash! But what coulda' like, hit us?

Hillbilly 1: *Holding a rocket launcher made out of an old tin trashcan* Pur-ty!

-In Tinker's House-

*Loud crashing noise*

Tinker: Hmm, that sounds plot-relevant!

Wally: Chic! I mean, what was that?

Tinker: We should check it out and see if we can benefit from it at other people's expense! Right, first, Wally, I need you to get- *He looks around. The front door is open and Wally is missing* huh?

Wally:
*From outside* I'm coming, future love interest!

Tinker: Wait, wasn't his character supposed to be really timid?

Lagos: *Hopping out the door* Only around Chic, 'cause he's got a crush on her. Anyways, we'll meet'cha there, ok? *Shuts the door behind her*

Tinker: No! Wait! Don't close the do- *Stops and glares at the shut door* CURSE YOU DOORKNOB! Now how do I get out of here?

-At Helen Beta Narbon's old lab, for no adequately explained reason-

Wally: Gah! What a disaster! An airship crashed around here! Is anyone still alive? I'm here to help!

Desius: Oh thank god! I'm pinned under this wreckage! And I think I'm bleeding ou-

Wally: Chic! *Stares... Chic is laying on the ground, unharmed and just a bit disoriented* Oh god, what have they done to you? Don't worry, I'm here to save you! *Helps Chic up, since she had just fallen on the ground*

Desius: Ummm... little help over he-

Wally: Don't worry Chic! You're fine now!

Chic: *Opening her eyes* Oh wow! Wally... I've like, never seen this side of you before! You're like, totally awesome!

Wally:
Um... er...ah...um... y-you really think s-so?

Chic: ...and now you're back to being a capital L LOSER!

Wally: Aw darn it... I'll never be good enough to win her heart. Even if I was I wouldn't be! Wait...that doesn't make any sense?

Desius: Hmm... these fools are so distracted by their romantic subplot that they're not going to help me! Hey, wait... why am I talking like a villain?

Tinker: Don't worry, Desius! I inexplicably escaped my own prison of a house and am here to help you! I'm so distracted by your current plight I'm not even able to notice that we're old friends and related. Apparently. And I'll continue to not notice it until midway through the next chapter.

Desius: You do that. Shouldn't we be focusing on the main plot? *They look over at Chic and Wally*

Chic: Like, oh no! We're being attacked by totally butt ugly rednecks!

Red Neck 2: Yew gotta purty mouth, boy.

Wally: I don't like where this is going...

Tinker: Naw, they're fine.

Jane Narbon: Hey, why the heck wasn't I in this episode?

SiB: Or I?

The Writer: Will Chic, Wally, Andrew Tinker, and Desius survive being attacked by rednecks quoting Deliverance? Will we actually rednecks next time instead of playing off of cliched stereotypical tropes? Will Dr. Amino and Lord Dave's subplot ever reach a workable conclusion? Tune in next time to find out!

TO BE CONTINUED!

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:08 pm 
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The Writer: Hi. I bet you were all expecting more of the Strange Internet Story Telling Experiment, weren't you? Well this ISN'T it! I'm taking a momentary break, and there's nothing any of you can do about it! I WIN FOREVER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

David: You used that line before with the last installment.

The Writer: Oh yeah? Well, take this! *Poofs David into a large frilly pink dress*

David: Oh, this is so not in my contract!

Professor Zobot wrote:
The Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 8, Part 4: In 70 Seconds!

(We've outlived 3 assassination attempts, even one done extraordinarily professionally!)

((Please note: The following is only meant to be a light-hearted parody of the events of the Mad Sci Wars. Due to the abridged version of the content, some less significant details might be skipped, and in order to make it funny I'm taking liberties with my presentation of the characters and events within. If you find yourself offended or insulted, I apologize, let me know, and I'll pull the offending content immediately. But it's not my intent, I'm only trying to entertain you.))

(((Also, if you just find the jokes in poor taste, screw you.)))

((((...meanie.))))

-Inside the Olde Toboz Ice Cream Shoppe-

David: *Is building an Automatic Toppings Dispenser* Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.... *Looks up* Oh, hey. The point of view's focused on us. Sorry, we're not going to do anything funny right now. Go check up on Wally or Chic.

The Writer: Hey, those aren't your lines!

David:
Well, I'm sorry, but I happen to be protesting this chapter. It's completely superfluous. All it does is provide characterization for characters whose personalities and backstories are far more fleshed out in chapters later! This chapter is about as significant as the Naruto filler arc! And I barely even do anything in it!

The Writer: Hey, you prima donna! No one's going to get that joke! And quit breaking the fourth wall or else, mister!

David: That's pretty tough talk coming from a disembodied voice coming from vaguely overhead!

The Writer:
Oh, you wanna be a smart guy, eh buster? Well try this on for size!

David: *Looks down as the Toppings Machine begins to glow and he vanishes* Holy craaaa-

-Meanwhile, at one of the main plots-

Tinker: Frederic! Use Caffeine Rush!

Frederic: Pika pi! <Frederic used Caffeine Rush on Ornery Redneck A! It's super effective!>

Ornery Redneck A: Aaaaugh! Mah ache-peees! *Falls over, dead*

Chic: Wow! This has been, like, totally the most rad Redneck fight ever! *Firing a lightning pistol in random directions and always hitting rednecks* Don't you, like, think so, henchie?

Desius: Ahahahahahahahaha! *twisting a knife* Squirm, maggot! *He blinks* Oh, I'm sorry... what was I doing? I forgot to be fighting! *Whacks a redneck sneaking up behind him with a quarterstaff that appeared from nowhere* Shouldn't we be worried about what happened to Wally?

Previously, I wrote:
Red Neck 2: Yew gotta purty mouth, boy.

Wally: I don't like where this is going...

Wally: *Lying on the ground* Those... were not... places... REDNECKS SHOULD GO! *Shoots up and begins firing missiles out of nowhere at anything that moves, causing immense destruction*

Tinker: He looks to be doing fine. Except maybe he's whining a little bit. But we can ignore that. Anyways, I figured out why the Rednecks are all acting like this.

Desius: Huh?

Chic: *Not paying attention* Wally's, like, slammin' when he's angry, fo' sho!

Tinker: You know, why they're building Mad technology and swarming us with it while trying to do inappropriate things to our menfolk and spouting cliches.

Chic: Like, whaaaaaaat? I thought this was, like, how rednecks always acted?

Tinker: I'm as surprised as you, but apparently according to the script they're acting funny.

Chic: Fer shur! Generic 60s through 80s slang! Totally rad!

Tinker: Can you please stop being a stereotype for a little bit? I'm trying to provide exposition here!

Desius: I'll handle it, future mind-slave. *Presses his hand over Chic's mouth, as she tries to protest but can't speak*

Tinker: Thank you, Desius. Anyways, remember the virus that SiB was supposed to have created last chapter to help fight the martians?

-Meanwhile, in an underground vault-

SiB: Hey, I was distracted by the going-into-space-subplot! I would have gotten around to it sooner or later!

-Meanwhile, back at the exposition-

Tinker: You know, the one that David inadvertantly released into the atmosphere above Xyon City? Well, it's apparently having unforeseen side-effects on humans. Anyone latently Mad is going Mad, and anyone who isn't Mad that gets infected is experiencing bouts of Mad-like behavior.

Thaddeus: Fascinating!

Tinker: That was your one line of dialogue in this part, Thaddeus.

Chic: Wait... if people who are, like, potentially Mad are going Mad, what about Desius?

Desius: Wait, what are you talking about? Err, how did you notice me?

Chic: Like, I'm not stupid, Dessie.

Tinker: *Points at Desius* Grab him and tie him up!

Desius: I still have absolutely no idea what you're all talking about! This won't save you! Your world is broken, and I will fix it!

-Meanwhile, in a scene that never actually happened in the main game...-

David: Nightmarish Alternate Futures totally SUUUUUCK! *Running away from Zombie Lagos and hordes of the living dead*

Claire: Hey, can I help?

David: *Stops, as the horde of undead stop chasing him and look at her as well* Claire? You're not supposed to be on the set for another few chapters!

Claire: I know, but I was bored and this looked like a good spot for some explosions. And I brought Janitor along!

Janitor: *Busy sweeping one of the corners mildly* Hi! *Waves weakly*

David: It's a good thing none of this actually happened in canon...

Zombie Lagos: Excuse me, can we eat you all now?

-Meanwhile, at a family reunion-

Amino: Hello mom and dad! This is my boyfriend...uh...

Lord Dave: *Wearing nothing to disguise himself but a cheesy mustache* Juan Arrrrmando! 'Ello! *Holds out his hand*

*A few hours later...*

Lord Dave: *Inner Monologue* Wow, gatherning information on these fools in the Dan Conspiricy is surprisingly easy! I wonder how Dana's doing?

Amino: Wow! Aunt Dan's radioactive apple pie! This reunion rocks! Oh, hey...my family's going Mad for some reason. *grabs Lord Dave* Hey loser, we're going to go find out what the source for my family's malady is. Come on!

Lord Dave: B-b-but spy secrets! *Is dragged off*

To be continued...

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:11 pm 
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The Writer: Zzzz... huh? We're live? Oh crap!

David: Aren't we supposed to get a three day warning before every next installment?

Chic: Like, my agent is so fired.

Desius: *As Chic's agent* Aww...

The Writer: Cue title sequence go!

Professor Zobot wrote:
The Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 8, Part 5: In 70 Seconds!

(Kasproing!)

((Please note: The following is only meant to be a light-hearted parody of the events of the Mad Sci Wars. Due to the abridged version of the content, some less significant details might be skipped, and in order to make it funny I'm taking liberties with my presentation of the characters and events within. If you find yourself offended or insulted, I apologize, let me know, and I'll pull the offending content immediately. But it's not my intent, I'm only trying to entertain you.))

-On the battlefield-

Wally: Say... Chic... um, would you ever consider... um... getting involved in a romantic subplot with me...maybe?

Chic: *Smacking a redneck* Like, what were you talking about?

Wally:
*Sighs* Nevermind...

Tinker: There's too many of them to fight! They keep calling in reinforcements from the southern heartlands... We need some sort of plot device!

Chic: You mean like some sort of phresh anti-virus to cure their wack temporary madness?

Tinker: Exactly! A plotdevice!

Chic: But... that's not what I...

Frederic: You get 'sed to it, miss.

-Meanwhile...-

SiB: I'm busy restoring Prime after the events of the last chapter. And I'm going to make a biological serum to fix the non-Mads who were driven temporarily Mad by my earlier anti-Martian superweapon. I'm friggin Deus Ex Machina, right here.

-Meanwhile...-

Tinker: *Glaring at a tied up Desius* Ok Desius... we understand you're going Mad... like, REALLY going Mad. And we're here to help you.

Desius: *Tied up to a chair* Desius isn't here right now... there is only Zuul!

Tinker: ... For the 13th time you are NOT Zuul! *Stands up and begins walking off* Look, I'm going to leave you tied up here until you either sane up or snap completely, because that's obviously the responsible thing to do. Oh, and I asked Jane to bring over a Madness Cure, since her mother, Helen Beta Narbon, invented it originally. Have fun going unhinged. *Gets up and walks out of the room*

Desius: Exxceelllent... now I can... wait, how do I friggin' get out of this chair... are these sheep shank knots? Where did Tinker learn to tie a sheep shank knot? Ow... my wrists are raw from this rope... grr...

-Meanwhile...-

David: *reappears in his Ice Cream Shop* Yay! I escaped from that horrible post-apocalyptic future! I'm sure none of the events of it will ever become relevant. I mean, who ever heard of an evil Mad tyrant named Desius? I'll just put this ultimate superweapon armor over here. I hope I never see that Nega-Tinker guy again... Now for some nice peace and quiet...

David: *Watches as a redneck goes flying through the glass window* Oh darn it! *Runs off* I'm sure that guy who just got flung through a window will be fine. He was only bleeding from several vital arteries. I've got to go find the main plot. I don't want the Writer to get angry at me and fire me into another horrible situation...

The Zobot Arm: Heh Heh heh...

-Meanwhile-

Desius: Free at last! And now that I'm finally fully Mad, I think I'll use my new super mind control powers to assimilate the minds of all the other cast members, adding their screen time to my own. Because apparently going Mad gives you superpowers. Yup. Or maybe I'll find Tinker first and hug him... with knives.

Jane: Hey, I haven't gotten to do anything cool and evil lately, and I brought the Madness Cure Tinker asked for. What's up with that?

Desius: Hello, future mind slave.

Jane: Oh shiz! *Gets Assimilated*

Thaddeus: *Walking in* What the-

Desius: Oh good... seconds. I'll mind-nom you as well!

Thaddeus: Gaah! *Gets Mind-nommed assimilated as well*

Desius: Excellent... there's an evil party going on in my networked brain!

-Meanwhile...-

Amino: Wake up!

Lord Dave: I was asleep?

Amino: YES!

Lord Dave: I'm so confused...

-Meanwhile-

David: I'm exploring the battlefield! Huh... looks like a lotta moonshine and buckshot. Why would there be moonshine and buckshot on a battlefield?

Desius: *With Thaddeus and Jane in tow* Oh hey, another one. Time to- OW! Error! Error!

David: *Tilts his head* Huh? Who are you?

Desius: What the hell? Why can't I assimilate your mind?!?

David: Wait! I know you! You're Desius! I met you in the smouldering remains of your evil empire in the horrible alternate future I went to recently!

Desius: Oh sure, like that's not unnecessarily confusing...

The Epic showdown continues... SOON!

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 3:49 pm 
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The Writer: Time for more Mad Sci Wars In XXX seconds!... NOT! Time for something else!

Dave Olsen: Gentlemen... and maybe ladies.

Sarcastic: "Maybe" ladies?

Dave Olsen: I'm not entirely sure. After all, this is the Mad Sci Wars... it's difficult to tell whose been getting into the mint lately. IRREGARDLESS-

Andrew Tinker: That's not a word.

Dave Olsen: *Glares at him* WHATEVER! Anyways, I have forcefully assembled all the Mad Sci Wars villians into this one spot, so we can form a league of evil and destroy everyone else! ...which apparently is no one, because it seems that everyone in the entire game is here. What the frig, people?!?

Thaddeus: I think everyone in the game has been the bad guy at least once, or has been foreshadowed to be one at a later date, so we're all here.

Sarcastic: *Hugging Thaddeus* That can't be right. What about Cleese?

Cleese: *Swimming in the complimentary punch* Nom?

Dave Olsen: I requested him specifically... there was this one time, when he ate all Claire's cookies!

Chic: Like, what 'bout Eta?

Dave Olsen: He took over a preschool from Snacktime until Naptime. You have to be pretty @#^&'d up to do something like that.

Eta: *Looking at everyone* Hewwo!

Jane: Well I'm not a villian! I'm more of an anti-hero at worst.

Dave Olsen: ...you don't really want to be here, do you?

Jane: NO! Let me out of here or I'll kill you all!

Dave Olsen: Ok, ok. I'll let you go... On one condition. Name ONE thing you've done, before or after going mad, that was completely and entirely and totally altruistic.

Jane: *Thinking* Hmm... hmm... Dang it! Give me some time...

Dave Olsen: So everyone's here? Hmm, this may present somewhat of a problem. There's no one left for us to fight.

Elleb: <Michael's not here!>

David: Why am I even here?

Dave Olsen: To serve as a mouthpiece for the Zobot Arm and the Shade of Zobot, of course.

The Shade of Zobot: Aren't we nearly the same person? *David gasps and puts a hand over his mouth*

The Zobot Arm: Nearly.

Elleb:<I said: "Michael's not here!" Isn't anyone listening to me?>

Prime: Michael isn't here.

Dave Olsen: Thank you, Prime. It's nice to see SOMEONE'S on the ball around here.

Elleb: *hmmphs and flutters to her seat, pouting*

Edgar: He's probably off fantasizing about Jennifer.

Anson: Or maybe Frederic. I've always been suspicious that he's-

Dave Olsen: People! People! Focus! We aren't interested in gossiping about Michael's ambiguous sexuality! *As everyone stares at him and there's silence* Ok, ok... SOME of us aren't interested in speculating about Michael's ambiguous sexuality. IRREGARDLESS-

Andrew Tinker: Still not a word.

Dave Olsen: *Glaring at him* You are working my short nerve. To the Daveization machine with him! *As two Daves drag Andrew Tinker off*

Andrew: Ack!

The Tinker Twins:
*In unison* HEY!

Dave Olsen: Look, we're here for one purpose, and none of you are leaving until we fulfil that purpose: To come up with a plan to destroy the only character apparently not evil enough to be dragged here... Michael Toboz!

The Writer: To be continued! Also, the next installment of XXX seconds should be up by friday, I swear!

-Meanwhile-

Michael:
*Bored, watching TV* Man... where is everyone? I'd rather be hanging around with Frederic and Jennifer than watching this ninja spinoff of the Mad Sci Wars where everyone's a ninja.

Ninja Frederic on TV:
Man, why do all the ninja-girls like Ninja Michael so much? Come to think of it, why do I like Ninja-Michael so much? BI-CURIOUS NO JUTSU! *Kisses Ninja Michael*

Michael: This is SO not canonical.

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


Last edited by Zobot257 on Thu Dec 03, 2009 3:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:22 pm 
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Desius: At last, my time to shine is here. Just as soon as I crush you, the world will be mine!

David: Um, I hate to interrupt, but...

Desius: What is it?

David: You're too early. The title hasn't even come up yet.

Desius: What?

David: Yeah. We haven't started yet. Wanna go get a drink?

Desius: Grr! Oh... very well... but that line really was classic, I hate that I wasted it. *Storms off*

Demothesis: ...They're never going to get to the parts where we appear, will they?

Hawkwolf:
*Patting him on the back* Probably not. Come on, we have an "Unused Character Support Meeting" over in the west wing of the filming complex. Sometimes Revel brings fortune cookies.

The Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 8, Part 6: In 70 Seconds!

(God, we'll NEVER get to Bluelight!)

((Please note: The following is only meant to be a light-hearted parody of the events of the Mad Sci Wars. Due to the abridged version of the content, some less significant details might be skipped, and in order to make it funny I'm taking liberties with my presentation of the characters and events within. If you find yourself offended or insulted, I apologize, let me know, and I'll pull the offending content immediately. But it's not my intent, I'm only trying to entertain you.))

-At the Epic Confrontation-

David: Desius! I won't let you assimilate the entire world!

Desius: That's swell. *Surrounded by assimilated Jane and Thaddeus* Look kid, I don't know why you're immune to my mind-nomming, but you're way out of your league. Just walk away.

David: No! I'm not going to give up! I'll fight you, and if I believe in myself, I'll win and bring you back to your senses and stuff! I know you're a good guy for some reason, despite the fact that we've never actually met in continuity yet!

The Zobot Arm: OR we could just do things the simple way and kill him.

David: I know you're evil, Zobot Arm, but I could never do that willingly. It's just wrong...

The Zobot Arm: Uh, "willingly?" Hackzor'd!

David: *eyes glaze over* beep.

Desius:
Ok, hold up a second. What the frig? How come you can mind-control him and I can't?!?

The Zobot Arm: My host is brain-damaged, making nearly all forms of traditional mind control ineffective on him. However, you would be surprised what someone can do to a person when you have direct root access to the electrical signals in their nervous system.

Desius:
What, so there's an unexpected benefit to brain damage? That's just messed up.

The Zobot Arm: Blame Desius the player. HE thought it up.

Desius: Hmm.

The Zobot Arm: Anyways... kill him, meat puppet!

Desius: *As David charges past Thaddeus and Jane and attacks him* No! The mindless drone just walked past my defense-slaves! For some reason this ruins everything! *As David starts to punch him over and over again* My only hope for some reason is that the other losers show up and decide to try and break up the fight!

-Meanwhile-

Wally: Wow... we just barely beat up all those rednecks!

Tinker: And check out what I built on the battlefield! It's a fast growing sort of vine- except It's not really a *vine*, as It;s made out of wires, But I sort of *convinced* it that it's a vine, so It will act like one. Most things will do what you need them to if you ask them nicely enough. Oh, it will bloom light-bulbs and machine buttons! Grow gears and widgets, and have mighty stalks of joints and piping! It might even put down hydraulic roots!

Chic: Wow! Like, neat! *Tackles him* Giveittome!

Tinker: NO! MINE! *As they fight*

Wally: Guys? S-shouldn't we be trying to find Desius since he escaped? G-guys?

Chic: MINE!

Tinker: No, MINE!

-Back to the EPIC CONFRONTATION!-

Desius: *Losing teeth* W-where the heck are those- *gets punched again* -guys?!?

Jane: *Stirring* Huh?

Thaddeus: *Waking* Bwa?

Desius: No! Ow! The! Ow! Extreme! Ow! Physical Pain! Ow! Is! Ow! Breaking! Ow! My! Ow! Hold! Ow! On! Ow! Them! Ow! WHY ISN'T HE STOPPING?

Jane: Oh, hey, Desius is getting the snot beaten out of him by David... THIS calls for yaoi fanfics written about the both of them!

Tinker: *The camera cuts away to him for a moment* I told everyone she was the evilest fangirl of them all.

Jane: *Camera cuts back to her* Or I could inject Desius with the dose of the Madness cure I brought with me, to use as a bargining chip with Tinker... I probably should get David off of him, though... I shall do this in the most painless way possible.

David: *As Jane Crotchkicks him* ERROR! Pain! WHITE, BLINDING PAIN! *Falls over, clutching his groin*

Jane: Yeah, I'm going to inject you with the cure now, Desius... and leave some mental commands inside you that never become relevant later.

Desius: No... my evil is fading... can barely... feel... my... black...heart...

Jane: *Standing up and walking away, turning her back to Desius for some reason* Dang, I'm awesome.

The Zobot Arm: *Detaching from David and scurrying up to Desius as a needle pops out of the middle finger* I'm just going to take a quick blood sample now... the cure in your blood stream eventually allows me to create the Sanity Virus, which becomes a major plot point in Tanglebox, and your DNA in your blood eventually allows me to create your evil-er clone, Desecration, who becomes another plot point in Tanglebox, This whole blood-stealing thing happened Via PMs, and neither of these plot points are ever elaborated on in-game, thus making it really, REALLY confusing for anyone reading the game to figure out where they came from. I do this because I am evil and hate our players. *Takes the bloodsample* Ok, now I'm just going to scurry back and reattach myself to David like no one knows I'm actually sentient. *Does so*

Jane: I'm done looking away from Desius now. *Turns around and looks at Desius* Wow, he's going to need serious dental surgery. Who knew hero-boy was actually decently strong?

Thaddeus: Hey! I'm free! *An explosion from off-screen sends schrapnel flying into his chest* Arrgh! Curse you, irony! *Dies*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Meanwhile-

Chic:
*Hugging the wire vine lovingly* Mine! I'm going to name you Mecha!

Tinker: *Sulking* Hmmph.

Chic: So, like, don't you owe Jane Narbon a favor now? Gnarly!

Tinker:
Yeah... not a good position to be in.

Wally: *Watching* W-wow! Amino's Dan army sure made short work of the r-remaining rednecks!

Tinker: I guess that's the end of the chapter... wow, feels kinda anti-climactic... like something really big happened and we missed it...

Wally: I guess we'll n-never know...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Meanwhile-

Remaining Mad Redneck:
Aaah! Ah gots ta gets away!

Illeen Jacobs: *Driving up* Need a lift? *As he gets into the car* This is foreshadowing for Bluelight, but nothing will ever come of it because you'll never acutally show up in the game again... so really it's just a way for me to show up and amaze everyone by how mysterious I am. Oooo! I'm Jane Narbon's supposedly dead old mentor! I'm mysterious! OOOOOOOO!

Remaining Mad Redneck: Ah have GOTS ta gets me a bettah agent than mah pig...

Illeen Jacobs: Tell me about it.

END CHAPTER 8

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


Last edited by Zobot257 on Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: In which Frederic returns to his punk roots.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 1:50 pm 
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Michael: Ahem. Lights please? *The lights flicker out, a single spotlight focused on him*

Michael: Yes, thank you. Now then. As some people know, at this point in the main game, Jennifer, a character I feel a not inconsiderable amount of amore towards, has recently disappeared, perhaps forever. Given this situation, I felt necessary to commandeer the spotlight before the introduction to the next section of Mad Sci Wars: In XXX seconds, to give a tribute.

The Writer: *Tied up* You'll never get away with this!

Michael: *rolling his eyes* Yes, yes. Please continue to echo THAT cliché. Anyways, assisting me on this is my close confidant, Frederic Tinker, as well as several other of the Mad Sci Players. So now, in the spirit of previous reinterpretations, I present: “Insanity Rhapsody.”

*The spotlight vanishes, Music begins to play*

Delta, Gamma, and Dr. Mallory: *Their eyes shut* Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality! Open your eyes, *Their eyes slowly open* Look up to the skies and seeeeee- *They look upward*

Michael: *The spotlight reappearing on him again* I'm just a poor boy,

Left, Right, and Lieutenant Arms: Poor boy!

Michael: I need no sympathy.

Sarcastic: Because he's easy come- *hands him a dollar* -easy go. *Steals Michael's wallet*

Michael: Little high, *Behind him, Flux teleports up into the air* little low. *Flux teleports back to the stage.* Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to meeee...

*The music changes, Michael steps forward, the spotlight following him, as another spotlight appears to his right, with Demothesis and Isaac standing in it.*

Michael: Mama, he just killed a man- *Watches as Demothesis points a gun up at Isaac* -Put a gun up to his head, pulled the trigger, now he's dead... *Isaac falls to the floor*

Michael: *As the other spotlight flickers out* Mama... Life had just begun! And now we've gone and thrown it all away! Mama...

Left, Right, and Lieutenant Arms:
Oooooh. *A spotlight appears to his left, with Amino in it*

Michael: Didn't mean to make you cry, *Amino feigns crying* but if I'm not back again, this time tomorrow... *He flips his teleporter out and beings inputting coordinates* Carry on, carry on...

Left, Right, and Lieutenant Arms: Nothing really matters... *Michael teleports across the stage, to another spotlight*

Michael: Too late, our time has come... *A spotlight to his right flickers on, with ghostly apparitions of Jennifer and Michael standing in it* You sent shivers down my spine. *Ghostly Jennifer shoots Ghostly Michael with a ghostly freeze ray*

Michael:
Now my heart's aching all the time... *Ghostly Jennifer pokes Ghostly Michael's chest with a scalpel*

Michael:
*Waving to the readers* Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go... *He closes his eyes, a tear running down his face* Gotta leave you all behind and face the truuuuth. *Turns and walks away*

Michael: *As he's walking off* Mama... oooooooo.

Left, Right, and Lieutenant Arms: (Either way the wind blooows...)

Michael:
*Fading into the darkness of the stage* I don't want to die... but sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all...

Left, Right, and Lieutenant Arms: (Nothing really matters...)

Frederic:
*Holding The Gibson, breaking into a guitar solo*

Arthur: *Pointing at Michael's shadow* I see a little silhouetto of a man!

Assorted Umbras: Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango? *Chic runs by behind them, firing lighting in random directions, a manic grin on her face*

Arthur:
Galileo!

Assorted Umbras:
(Galileo!)

Arthur: Galileo!

Assorted Umbras: (Galileo!)

Arthur:
Galileo Figaro!

Assorted Umbras: Magnifico-o-o-o-o!

Michael: *A spotlight flickers to life, illuminating him* I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.

Black Hat Brigade: He'z juz a poor boy, from un poor family!

Assorted Umbras: Spare him his life from this monstrosity! *As the stage lights up, showing Michael standing in the middle of a death trap*

Michael: *Walking over out of the death trap, reaching out and grabbing a hold of Jennifer, as various assorted Umbras grab her other arm* Easy come, easy go, will you let her go? *Pulls on Jennifer's arm*

Assorted Umbras:
Bismillah! No, we will not let her go! *Pulls Jennifer back*

Andrew, Chic, Claire, and David:
Let her goooooo! *As Michael pulls on her again*

Assorted Umbras: Bismillah! No, we will not let her go! *Pulls Jennifer back*

Herr Doktor, Hawkwolf, Ingrid, and Miss Clay: Let her gooooo! *As Michael pulls on her again*

Assorted Umbras: Bismillah! No, we will not let her go! *Pulls Jennifer back*

Michael:
Let her go!

Arthur and Anson Umbra: (Will not let her go!)

Michael: Let her go!

Crash, Burn, and Code Umbra:
(Will not let her go! Never, never, never, never!)

Michael: No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

Xerox: Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let her go!

Michael: Beelzebub! *A spotlight illuminates Malachi* Has the devil set a snare for me! *Malachi looks confused* For me! *Malachi shrugs* For meeeee! *Malachi walks off, as Sib and Jane sneak up, setting up a rope snare beneath Michael's feet*

Frederic: *Sliding on from stage left, holding The Gibson, behind him, Claire is setting off explosion after explosion in the background for effect* So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?!?

Frederic: So you think you can love me and leave me to dieeeee?!? *Closes his eyes* Oooooh, baby, can't do this to me, baby! *He starts to flap his wings and lift off the stage* Just gotta fly out, just gotta fly right outta here! *Frederic flies above the stage, out of view, and then suddenly lets himself drop, slamming into the stage, and beginning the second guitar solo*

Whole cast: (Oooh yeah, Oooh yeah!) *All lights dim, a single spotlight at center stage flickers on, with Michael standing in it*

Michael: Nothing really matters... anyone can see... *He turns his back to the crowd, walking away* Nothing really matters... to meeeee.... *he walks towards the darkness, as Sarcastic, Dana Amino, and Lady Drezebel dive out and triple-pie him in the face*

Sarcastic, Drezebel, and Amino: Any way the wind blows...

Michael: Arrgh... anyways, thanks for putting up with my tribute to Jennifer. Hope you all enjoyed it. Mad Sci Wars, Chapter 9, Day 1: In 500 seconds should be up by the weekend. Hopefully. If our author isn't a lazy slug.

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 2:30 am 
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The Writer: Ok... because I've apparently taken a leave of my senses, I'm going to do attempt to do the ENTIRE "Mad Sci Awards" in four easy installments for the low, low price of just 33.99 for each installment. One installment for the pre-game show, and one for each day. You guys can pay me later.

David: You can't be serious!

Sarcastic: It's insane! We'll die!

Chic: Like, weren't you introduced waaaaaay later, Sarcy?

Sarcastic:
Sarcy? *Tilts her head* And yeah, I'm not in the show yet, but who do you think has to handle everything backstage?

Demothesis: It's us unintroduced characters that have to do the grunt work. They haven't even given us distinguishing quirks yet.

Chic: You're totally not missing anything rad.

The Writer:
WILL YOU ALL GET OUT OF HERE! Look... Title thingy GO!

The Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 9, Day 1: In 200 Seconds!

Also known as:

The Mad Sci Awards


(Dear god. Carpel Tunnel Syndrome will be the death of me.)

SiB: *Standing at his mail box, going through the letters* It's kind of weird that I'm such a technology advocate and yet I still stoop to getting my own mail at my own mailbox. I'm a mad scientist, you'd think I'd just use E-mail, or develop some sort of device to get my mail for me. *As an envelope explodes* Ow. It would certainly help cut down the attempts on my life. Hey, wait... *Checks the singed letter inside the envelope* This isn't a articulately-worded letter gloating about my death! This is... oh SHI-

-Elsewhere-

Thaddeus: Hey sir. Guess who got suckered into running the Mad Science Convention and Awards this year?

Tinker: *Freezes, slowly turning his head to look up at Thaddeus* Who... are you... and... why are you in my lair?

Thaddeus: ...Sir, it's Thaddeus. Your HENCHMAN.

Tinker: Oh. Oh yeah. I always forget.

Thaddeus: Thirteen times this day...

Tinker: What?

Thaddeus: ANYWAYS... yeah, the organizers tricked SiB into accepting the exploding letter obligating him to run the convention this year.

Tinker: WHAT? My arch-rival, So It Begins, is the organizer this year? Than we have to attend!

Thaddeus: Very well... I'll go make preparations. *Turns and starts walking out of the room*

Tinker: Wait! Don't leave me here with that- *As Thaddeus slams the door on the only path out of the room*

Doorknob: *Talking in Tinker's memory* Hello, Tinker. You should have destroyed me when you had the chance.

Tinker: ...Doors. My mortal foes.

-In Jane's Lab-

Jane: Hm... an invitation to the Mad Sci Awards. This letter reminds me of that time I was injecting Desius with the Sanity Cure, and I put some hypnotic commands in him... wait... HE PUT SOME HYPNOTIC COMMANDS IN ME AT THE SAME TIME?!? Uh... why haven't we acknowledged such an important plot-point before?

The Writer: Because it never comes up again.

-At David's Ice Cream Shop-

David: I dunno, Arm... you say something's wrong with our ice cream maker, but... I don't see it.

The Zobot Arm:
It's been making dreams come true! I swear!

David: I don't believe it. I mean... I had a dream about a fairy last night, and-

Elleb: *Crawling out of the ice cream machine and making a jingling sound*

David: ...I shouldn't be allowed to make food devices... this is just as silly as my Automatic Toppings Machine that sent me to that Negative Universe last chapter...

*Ominious grinding and clicking noises behind him*

David: But silly is good! Silly is great! *Elleb chimes and raises an eyebrow at him* Anyway, scrap the ice cream machine. I'll see you later.

The Zobot Arm:
Beep?

David: Some commissioner guy called me with a job earlier. He was GOING to hire two Trigger Happy Freelance police agents, a rabbit and a dog in a suit, to go work a beat at some local convention. But apparently the rabbit finally got on the dog's nerves, so it's gone all pear-shaped, so instead he decided to ask me. But I have to blend in, so I'm going to leave the big clunky metallic arm behind and get a more normal prosthetic.

The Zobot Arm:
Y-you're breaking up with me?!? *Grinding noise that sounds like a heart breaking*

David: Well, let's face it... you ARE horrendously evil. *Starts to walk off*

The Zobot Arm: But... but... you were supposed to act like you didn't know that... *Vents steam, droplets of salty condensation running down it's optical sensors.*

Elleb: *Jingles, pats it on the shoulder, and then flutters off after David*

-At Chic's lab-

Chic: *Breaking the fourth wall* Here. I'll give you, like, the 411: The rest of us just sorta prepared for the actual convention fer a bit. Nothing, like, plottish happened until Day 1, which is coming soon! I'm amped for it!

Desius: Your slang is just getting more and infrequent...

TO BE CONTINUED!

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:05 pm 
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David: Zzz... *Sleeping on Claire's script*

Jane: *Sleeping on a waterbed made of the tears of her enemies* Zzz...*Stirs*

SiB: Zzzz....snerk...*Opens his eyes* ...huh? Wha?

Tinker: *Sitting up and rubbing his eyes* Are those...the cameras? Are they actually ON?

David: *Sitting up* We're FILMING? We're actually still doing this?

Jane: *Waking up suddenly* Ack! I need costumes! Make up!

SiB: Everyone get into positions! This is not a drill, people!

Tinker: Why weren't we informed? What's going on?!

The Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 9, Day 2 (Which is actually Day 1, since the last installment was just the pregame show): In 200 Seconds!

Also known as:

The Mad Sci Awards


(My Hands are trying to kill me for typing too much! Someone stop them!)

Brad: Wow, Janet! This Mad Science convention is sure big! And interesting!

Janet: You said so, Brad! And as perfectly normal bystanders, we certainly aren't going to have anything surprising or interesting happen to us while we experience it!

Merchant: *Setting up a booth right behind them* Step right up! Do crazy stuff to the Normals, just five bucks per wacky antic!

Brad: As ordinary people, we're the perfect plot device to serve as an eyepiece to the general atmosphere of the convention!

Tinker: My entrance to the convention is absolutely FAB-

Frederic: Da, stop. The Writer's trying to write you as stereotypically "Gay" again.

Tinker: Oh really? Whew. We dodged a bullet there, didn't we?

The Writer: CURSE YOU, FREDERIC TINKER! *Shakes his fist*

Jane: Gah! The Advanced Mind Control panel is happening at the same time as the "How to Properly Enslave your Arch-Rivals" Workshop! Too... hard... a... choice...to...make! I... I can't decide... I know! I'll just get the Advanced Mind Control panel people to mind control the people in charge of the workshop and have both of them happen in the same room! Yay!

Wally: D-Desius? What happened to Chic?

Desius: *Carrying an unconscious Chic on his back* Mistress Chicgeek got so excited about all the various things to do that she forgot to breath and passed out. She'll be ok in about an hour... by then most of the registrations will be over, so there'll be less options for her to get worked up about.

Lagos:
*Following Wally* This convention is awesome! I'm just... gonna slip off and go get into a fight with RoboZilla, ok? *Realizes Wally's distracted and sneaks off without permission*

Brad: Hey, Janet! Let's try this laser tag game! it looks like fun...

Janet: Gosh, I dunno, honey... I'm a bit nervous...

Brad:
It's just a simple game, honey. There's nothing to be worried about.

Janet: Well, if you say so... *They walk into the Laser Tag arena, then run out after a few minutes, screaming, with lasers flying out after them*

Dana Amino: *In full Laser-Tag unform, with a laser-rocket launcher in her grip* COME BACK HERE! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO MAKE YOU SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! *Grumbles*

Ingrid: Mz. Amino, I'm not even sure how a laser-rocket launcher would WORK, much less if they exist.

Dana Amino: One of the little secrets of the universe, Ingrid. One of the little secrets of the universe.

-Meanwhile, in Hell-

Thaddeus: Huh... it seems like everyone I know conveniently has a dark secret or a relevant plot twist I can learn about down here. "INDIGO", "Don't take the universal antidote".... crazy stuff. Let's see... whose next? Jane Narbon? Let's see what dirt Hell's got on her... *Blinks* A year as a Clown? Oh my geeze I am SO exploiting that!

-Meanwhile, back at the Convention-

David:
To protect myself and those around me from the wrath of my many imaginary enemies, I'm sneaking into this convention dressed up as some elf guy from a game no one's ever played!

Elleb: <I'm a joke-character that'll become a fan favorite! Also, I'm a Navi cosplayer!>

David: *realizes there's a chicken in front of him* hello! *Realizes there's another one behind him* Uh... hello... *Realizes that the area around him is becoming saturated with chickens* Err...um... n-nice birdies... You all seem... pretty intent on staring at me...

Cucoo Leader: Buck buckaw! <Vengence for the slain! Destroy the green-tunic'd one!> *As all of them converge on David, in a frenzied dust cloud of pecking and clawing*

David: Ack! *Runs, the chickens chasing him, and catching up Frederic in the pursuit*

(To Be continued... in Day 1, Part 3! Happening... probably Sunday sometime! I dunno!)

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 1:57 am 
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Mad Scientist Unbelievable
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:30 am
Posts: 4538
Location: Burnsville
:twisted: Narrator: And so it came to pass...

Narrator: That after a draught of posting and a long period of time...

Narrator: The guy in charge of writing all this stuff got bored enough to resume the project again.

Narrator: It's anyone's guess how long he'll continue, but let us all agree not to speculate, yes? Let us just... enjoy it.

Narrator: Enjoy...

Mad Sci Wars Chapter 9, Part 3, in 300 Seconds
Also known as:
The Mad Sci Awards


(I make no guarantees that I'll even finish this chapter. We'll see how long I'm gonna go.)

Narrator: Previously... on Mad Sci Wars!

Chic: Like, we're all going to a convention!

Narrator: And now the exciting not-conclusion!

-David-

David: It's a good thing I escaped those evil chickens. I'm not entirely sure where they went but after I jumped past that chef's display area they didn't really follow.

Meanwhile...

Tak Shing: *Is a Mad Chef and clutching an evil chicken by the neck* I know twelve ways to prepare a chicken to be served before killing it. You shall help me master a thirteenth.

Anyway...

David: Now I can go back to ineffectually patrolling a giant convention And they say vigilante crimefighting doesn't solve anything...

Elleb: <I don't speak English!>

David: Now I just need to remain distracted so I canohheyaboothaboutcolorbeams!

Roy G. Biv: Why hello<3<3<3! Are you here to lovingly caress my large colorful pistols?

David: Uh... I... need an adult.

Roy G. Biv: I am an adult<3.

David: Err... well, I guess I'll test fire your weap- I mean, shoot off your- I mean hold the- there's not really any way I can say it without making some sort of innuendo my character would be entirely ignorant of, is there?

Roy G. Biv: I hope not <3.

David: *Grabs a color-gun and fires it* This isn't going to do anyhting bad if I fire it into a crowd, will it?

Roy G Biv: What could possibly go wrong, luv<3<3?

-What did go wrong:-

Amino: Mwaha ha ha- *Is zapped by a beam of sentient shade of pink* ha...ha? Oh my god I'm pink. I'm going to kill everyone.

Ingrid: ...including me, Miss?

Amino: ESPECIALLY YOU!

-And speaking of things getting bad...-

Frederic: Oi, where'd dose chickens carry me? This is bad... the last time ah left Da 'lone, he...

Chic: *Elsewhere, with Tinker* Like, what was with that swarm of chicky-thingies?

Andrew: ...Frederic? FREDERIC? *Looking around frantically* W-where are you, Frederic? Where's my lil' bun?

-And elsewhere, outside the convention...-

Zobot Arm: Mwahaha. Everything is going according to my long running and convoluted plan. I'll destroy the world!.... in a few months.

-Back at the Convention!-

Wally: Um... I'll get Desius and maybe Thaddeus and we'll all go with Chic and search for Frederi- M-mister Tinker, are you o-ok?

Tinker: *Eyes twitching* Must... triangulate... position... of... son!

Chic: Like, Mr. Tinker, math never solved anything! *Slaps him*

Tinker: *Sitting on the ground with many sheets of paper* S-stoppit! I must... find my son! *Eyes twitching as he looks up at her and speaks in a deadpan voice* Why are you stopping me? Do I have to destroy you to find my son?

Chic: Umm... umm... like... um...

Wally: *Nervously watching as Tinker grabs Chic's pants leg* U-um...

Tinker:
*eye twitching* Have to find my son... you understand... destroy you to find Frederic. Yes. That's what I have to d-

Chic: HEY LOOK! TWO GROWN MEN FIGHTING JANE NARBON AND SOME OTHER LADY!

Tinker: *Blinks* ...mom?

Narrator: But shocking revelations would have to wait... for the next episode: "Hero's Quest: Dawn of the fanshipping!"

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Sci Wars: In XXX Seconds!
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 6:39 pm 
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Established Mad Scientist
Established Mad Scientist

Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:29 pm
Posts: 163
Location: Xyon City
First thought: OHMYGODTHISUPDATED!

Second thought: Aw, it's just someone called Collingwood. Hi, Collingwood!

Third thought: Mate, assuming you aren't a spammer, this isn't exactly the right thread for introducing yourself. We have one right over there. *points*

_________________
In other words, he'll look like he was thrown into a rummage sale at high speed and came out wearing whatever stuck, because to him, "hero" means "costume" and "costume" means "dressup" and "dressup" means "whatever the hell I want".
------
"The only difference between genius and madness is the success rate." - White Wolf Forums


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