Comics by Shaenon II

Mad science has never been so cute!
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 8:46 pm 
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Walking down the street, Wally notices a man walking away from the rubble of a theater building. 'That was the right adress, wasn't it?'

"Excuse me sir, was that the lair of Lord Dave?"

"Yes, and this is him speaking."

"Ahh. Well then, my rabbit and I would like to extend our condolences on the loss of your lair. Here, why don't you decorate your new one with these flowers. And... nevermind. I do know a mad real estate agent if you want him."

Wally waited for a response, figuring that it'd be a great cruelty to give a man without a home a DVD to play. Maybe some time later, after he's settled in.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 6:09 am 
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Dave: Oh I've got one. See Dr. Amino was killed here and I get her lair as soon as I prove to her henchwoman that shes dead. So I'm off to the radio station to give the news, then I'll post a fake news broadcast onto YouTube, which will go viral and everyone in the world will think its true therefore making that henchwoman also believe it. That way I won't have to find a body in that dusty rubble.
And who are you?

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"But how do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." — Lewis Carroll


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 7:02 am 
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"Ah, Ingrid, you're back from the library. Did you find the books?"
"I found quite a few, actually, ma'am." *Ingrid puts large books on table* "Did Lord Dave find the teeth yet?"
*grins* "Better. Look." *shows Lord Dave's YouTube video* "The whole world thinks I'm dead. Now I just have to get Dave to think I'm undead."
"How will you do that, ma'am?"
"These books on necromancy should have a picture of a ghost or deceased spirit. I'm sure with a few well-placed holograph projectors I can make him think I have returned from the dead. Then, by using his precious Internet against him, he will believe that the only way to destroy me is to kill Wally." *uses new evil computer to start new website, entitled 'howtokilltheundead.com'* "And now, I sit back and enjoy the perks of being dead." *sits there silently for a minute* "I'm bored. I'll be at the nuclear power plant wreaking havoc."
"But, ma'am!"
"What, Ingrid?"
"You can't do that. You're supposed to be dead, ma'am, remember?"
"Oh, right. Being dead stinks."


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 2:50 pm 
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"That's quite good. Then please take these flowers as a way of introduction. My name is Wally C., and I'm a new mad scientist to the area. I'm a specialist in Bionics and Drama, so if you need anything, or want a showdown, please let me know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get around to introducing myself to the other living member of the Mad Scientist community."

Lagos hops up to Lord Dave, and looks him up and down. "So how'd you defeat Dr. Amino anyways. Was she terminally stupid or something?"


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 3:35 pm 
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Dave: Well now aren't you a cute thing? I could use you as a very good marketing ploy to get people to buy SUVs. But to answer your question yes, yes she was. She walked right into my death trap and I blew up my own lair with her inside.

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"But how do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." — Lewis Carroll


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 6:53 pm 
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"Well, I suppose it makes sense then. Well, it was nice to meet you, and keep in touch if you want me to act. I might even go for a discount, as you're a mad. Hope you have fun with the radio."

Lagos hops away quickly, in the wake of Wally C. "Next on the list of lairs to visit, chicgeek's. It's the pasta factory on the right."

Wally looks over. "I hope she's in. Well, here goes nothing."

*Knock, Knock*

"Hello?"

"Hello, I'm Wally C., Genetics specialist. I have some tomatoes, if you want them."


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 7:48 pm 
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"Tomatos,hmm? I just happen to have some freshly radiated pasta. Won't you come in?"
My,this was unexpected. I'm glad all my pockets are loaded.
"I've been meaning to get out and meet the other mads, but I've been so busy lately establishing my lair. Perhaps you would care to join me for lunch?"
(and I'll see what secrets I can worm out of you during your visit,heh heh heh)
Clockwork gears,from immense(think batman's giant penny) to microscopic turn in strange configurations on the walls. Various electronic equipment, most unidentifiable, is all around you. Giant tesla coils give a homey glow. A small but elegant silver zepplin is moored agaist the far wall. The racing stripes are so fresh you can still smell the paint. Or could that be the mysterious flask on the bunsen burner,bubbling merrily away, and throwing out the occasional spark? Your hostess is wearing a chic but practical leather lab coat, and brass goggles.
"I am ChicGeek, sometimes referred to as the steampunk menace. And this is...? "
I gesture towards his rabbit. Is it minion,pet,assistant, or possibly master? With hypnosis,who knows? He obviously takes it for granted; I notice he didn't bother to introduce it. Hmm,whatever it is, I'd better keep a close eye on it until I learn more.
"I've just put on a fresh batch of coffee."I pick up the bubbling flask and give him a bewitching smile."May I pour you a cup?"
(BTW,Wally,is it rabbit size,german shephard size,people size,what?)

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 8:23 pm 
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"Oh, where are my manners. This is Lagos, my...assistant. I'll pass on the coffee, as I should get the tomatoes started if you already have pasta. Where might be your kitchen?"

Lagos hops over to the table, and says "I'd like some coffee, if you don't mind. You'll have to put it on the floor, but I promise not to spill any. And Wally? I'd like some milk in my coffee, and I think you still have some."

"Of course, how rude of me." Pulling out a small flask, he pours a small amount into a nearby cup. "He prefers rabbit's milk, you see, so I make sure to have some on me whenever we go some where."

Wally wanders out of the antechamber, still trying to find the kitchen.

OOC: Lagos is a bit smaller than a German Shepard. Look up Gray Flemish Giant, and look for the larger examples. He also has a few cybernetic enhancements, although most are subtle.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 4:46 am 
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"Why don't we all go to the kitchen? Allow me to show you around. Lagos, you are of course welcome to join us with the pasta, but I have some fresh lettuce and carrots, if you prefer. I'll just bring the coffee with us, shall I?"

Hmm, he seems well meaning enough, but friendly or no, they're NOT wandering about here as they will! Even with all the hidden cameras...

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:35 am 
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"That sounds fine. I'd appreciate the help. I've only got three hands, you know."

Wally's robotic hand starts dicing the tomatoes, while he rummages around the cupboard for spices. He didn't think she was going to let him wander the complex unsupervised, but it was worth a shot. Well, as pleasant as the conversation has been so far, time for plan b.

"Do you mind if I use some of these crystals? I find that they make preparations go by much faster." So saying, he pulled out a set of small crystals and prepared to put some into the the pot where he had placed the tomatoes. "Oops, I think I spilled some. You have anything to clean it up with?"

Meanwhile Lagos comes along behind. "I'd love some lettuce, but I don't think I'm willing to give up on the pasta. How about I use it as a topping? I've always wanted to see how irradiated pasta tastes." So saying, Lagos hopped over and began to nose around the crystals, trying to gather them into a pile for easier cleaning.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:54 am 
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"Ma'am, I brought that Chinese food you wanted."
"Excellent. Hey, check this out, Ingrid! They've got one of those Chinese finger-trap things. They're impossible to escape from."
*knocking on door*
"I'll get that ma'am." *walks to antechamber*
I bet it's Lord Dave. It's time to enact my brilliant and devious plot. *hides behind table and activates hologram* My hologram looks perfect, as if I were actually a ghost. To be honest, it's kind of creepy seeing an undead version of myself. I sure hope Dave thinks it's creepy, at least.
*Dave enters from antechamber*
"Well, well, Lord Dave." *speaks into special mouthpiece so that voice comes from hologram* "I bet you thought you were rid of me."
The look of shock on his face is quite satisfying. "Amino! You're alive!?"
"Not quite, Lord Dave. You see, a new mad within the area happens to know a bit of necromancy, and he brought me back from the dead to wreak my unholy vengeance on you." This is all too easy. Lord Dave is falling for it hook, line, and sinker. He even looks a little bit scared, if you ask me. Heh heh heh.
"Of course. I should have known that he would do something like this. He just has to bring my archfoe back from the dead."
Everything is going exactly according to plan. Now I just have to make him think he must destroy Wally. "Yes, the new mad scientist, Wally, decided he'd get a little help in defeating you-"
Dave doesn't look scared anymore. Now he looks like he's realized something important. "Wait. You said Wally was the one who brought you back from the dead?"
Something isn't right here. Why is Dave walking towards the table where I'm hiding? *speaking with a nervous tremor in her voice* "Yes. Wally was the one who brought me back from the dead. Why do you ask?" *table is suddenly blasted by a very large ray gun, revealing Dr. Amino hiding behind it* Uh, oh. That's not good.
*exasperated sigh from Lord Dave as he sees Amino controlling the holographic ghost* "You really are terminally stupid, Amino. You should have known Wally isn't a necromancer."
What? That can't be right. "But he said he was!"
*another exasperated sigh from Dave* "Amino, mad scientists are pathological liars. When I introduced myself to the ignorant citizens of this town, I told them I was a samurai-ninja and could use the Force to track down my enemies. Furthermore, I claimed I was able to escape from those impossible Chinese finger-trap things. Being ignorant, they all believed me. You see, Amino, Wally was lying to you to make himself sound more impressive. And, like the ignorant person you are, you believed it."
Oh, dear. I feel like such an idiot. "But I had everything planned out! I had the books, and the website, and Wally said he was a necromancer when he was talking to Ingrid!"
"And what did you order Ingrid to tell him in reply?"
"That I was dead."
"And were you telling the truth?"
"...No."
"You truly are stupid, Amino. Even the most inexperienced henchman knows that you can't believe everything a mad scientist says."
"Oh, yeah? Well, who's more stupider? The person who believes everything she hears, or the person who can't even kill her?"
(I would say the person who used 'more stupider' in an evil conversation.)
(You're not helping, President Grant!)
"Honestly, Amino, you are no genius. You are merely very lucky. However, you are a villain, and no villain is lucky forever. Good-bye, Amino. This time I will be sure to put you out of your misery."

Dramatic music!
Who keeps playing that music!?!?!


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 4:48 pm 
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Drat. I don't know what those crystals are, but I'm sure not going to eat any sauce now! And it smells so good,too.
"I'll get that,Lagos. Here, you never had your coffee. Let me set it down for you". As I clean up the crystals, I'm sure to pocket a sample for analysis.
"So, Wally-may I call you Wally?-what are these crystals that make cooking go faster?" Not that I'm expecting a truthful answer, but I'll know whatever he tells me can't be what they are.
"Lagos, of course you can have pasta AND lettuce-I just didn't know if pasta was to your taste."
I surriptitiously add a swig of univeral antidote to my own coffee.It'll be interesting to see if this mad and his...assistant...partake of the sauce. Of course,they could've taken an antitidote,too. Why did I let them in again? Oh,well, if we weren't insatiably curious, we wouldn't be mads, now would we?
"My, that robot arm certainly is usefull! I've been toying with a variation of the idea myself." As I make light conversation, I sip my coffee,casually positioning myself where I can watch his cooking, and his lagomorph's reaction to my special brew. It's the same as I drink myself, but unfortunatly, not everyone can appreciate electrically charged hyper-coffee. Interesting that neither of them had any qualms about lagos having a cup. Fortunately I have a zoom attachment on my goggles.

I've got it. As I fix a bowl of pasta and lettuce for Lagos, I fix a bowl of pasta,carrot,and this tomato I picked up before he started chopping for myself.
"Mmmm, nothing like a nice pasta salad! It was so thoughtful of you to bring me fresh tomatos-they add a special touch!" I smile winsomely at him. There. I've avoided the sauce while carefully not accusing him of "overseasoning". Of course he knows that I know that he knows that I, ect. ect.. Sometimes mad subtlety is called for. But I do so look forward to showing him the earthquake gun later..Preferably at HIS lair,heh,heh,heh. I don't have a nemesis yet, and I won't feel I've arrived as a madsci until I do. Could this outwardly friendly madsci fit the bill?
I've gotten the idea for the perfect mechanical enhancement! As soon as I clear them out of here, I'm going to work.
"lagos, wouldn't you like a little taste of this fresh marinara sauce?" I put a spoonful down where he can reach it.
Heh. Now what, Wallycaine?

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:24 pm 
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Dave readys his ray gun, aiming it at Dr. Amino, Ingrid stands ready to jump in to take the blast herself. But... Dave doesn't fire.

Dave: Unless..... Unless you would care to work for me.

Amino: What?

Dave: You see, I'm brilliant at market manipulations, psychology, and destroying the very fabric of society. I can even make people pay billions to get a product that doesn't exist. Yet.... making those products? That is where my fault lies. For all my brilliance I can not create anything of great function. Even my latest creation, the furby/Axe body spray/Tickle Me Elmo, which would have been the hottest toy in existence, was imperfect and though it pains me to say it, ugly. I need someone who can make a product. Something functional and elegant. I believe working together we could educate the world and in turn, bring it under our heels. You create the product and I will supply the people. Victims will line up to get their destruction and like it. Now I ask you, Doctor Dana Amino, what is your answer?

OFF:
An alliance? Absolutely. Why fight on multiple fronts?

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"But how do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." — Lewis Carroll


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:08 pm 
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"These things? It's just a little something I whipped up a while ago. It's essentially all the ingredients for the meal, in this case sauce, stored at the proper temperature and whatnot, so all you have to do activate them and mix. Cuts out all the waiting for water to boil and such. I've found it incredibly useful in college, what with not having much time for cooking. Here's some my favorite blends. I'm sure you can run it through a bioscanner somewhere. Ohhhh, wait, I'm not supposed to tell you to do that, I just assume that you will later. Sorry about that. I'm not used to talking to Mads that aren't twice as old as me. I guess my etiquette isn't up to speed."

Lagos turns to him. "I told you this whole introduce yourself plan wasn't going to work out. Mad scientists don't like it when people show up on their doorsteps. God, how you've gotten this far..."

"I told you, no arguing in front of others. I mean, you're leaving her out of the conversation entirely." *Turns to chicgeek* "I'm very sorry about that, but I have an unusual relationship with my assistant, and sometimes forget others aren't used to it. Anyways, I hope you'll forgive my social faux pas. I'd be delighted if you'd call me Wally. It's a nickname I've grown quite fond of. And it used to... Lagos, why is your tail twitching?"

"I don't know why...unless this coffee is electrically charged. I'm afraid my prosthetic tail is still a bit sensitive to electricity, and has to run off excess energy. I don't think it'll fire anything off, but I wouldn't stand directly behind me. It is quite tasty though."

*Lagos dives into the lettuce and pasta*

"Hmm, the irradiation certainly adds a little something to the pasta. Combined with the sauce and lettuce, I think I may have found a new favorite food. You'll simply have to give the oaf the recipe for this."

*Wally, distracted by his own pasta and sauce, fails to notice Lagos spitting out a chunk of undercooked pasta*

"I must say, I'm glad I decided to do these rounds. You may have been the first not to slam the door in my face, threaten to shoot me, or wander off after making cryptic pronouncements, but I've enjoyed this tea time. How about you?"


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:12 pm 
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"Suprisingly,yes,I have enjoyed this. It is nice to chat with a madsci near my own age. Of course, I am naturally looking forward to causing mayhem and destruction, formenting evil plans, doublecrossing, and all the other fun things involved with mad science. But-may I be frank?-I don't know if I'd rather be nemesis,partner,or aqquaintance, Wally. You may feel free to call again, although I can't always be available for social calls. As a matter of fact, I really must be getting back to work. Would you care for a bag of irradiated pasta to take back to your own lair?"

Seems well meaning enough, which is a bit strange for a madsci. But still, darn it, I do need either a partner or nemesis! As much fun as I'm having creating deathrays and establishing my lair, I really need to get out and do something worthy of a BWAHAHA. Lair-wait-he must have one! I'd better make the time to find out a bit more about him-I suppose my project could wait just a bit longer. Time to turn on the charm.

"Wally, would the two of you care for a lift back to your own lair? We can take the hyper zeppelin. It's much faster than its apperance suggests, I assure you."

And I've seen to it that no one can pilot it but me. Who knows?
Perhaps I'll get a chance to test out the new armaments I've installed.
So many tempting targets...

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:36 pm 
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"Thank you very much for your kind offer. I was dreading another long walk back to the barn, but I'll gladly take a ride on a zeppelin. I've always wanted to see what all the rage was before the Hindenburg. As for the evil plans, doublecrossing, and whatnot, there is a place we could stop by, before you drop me off at my lair. Tell me, would you know where Dr. Amino's lab might be?"

"I think I might, but I thought you already went there?"

"I did, and my joking intro seems to have acquired me a nemesis. One of these days I'll figure out what to say. I'm just glad Lord Dave is still carrying the flowers I gave him. Anything new Lagos?"

"It seems that Lord Dave is trying to form a partnership. I seem to have lost the signal though."

"That's too bad. Well, chicgeek, how do you feel about a little side trip?"


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:10 pm 
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Smiles. "Why Wally, that sounds lovely! I haven't had any dealings with Dr.Amino yet, but if she and Lord Dave have formed a partnership...that doesn't bode well for the rest of us. I suggest at least a temporary alliance. It may be prudent to put a crimp in their plans. Just let me grab my earthquake gun!"

After we're aloft, I casually say-"Oh, by the way, I'm the only one the controls respond to. As a matter of fact, you can't enter or leave the ship without me. I would rather the hyperzepplin be destroyed than captured, you see. It does tend to cut down on double crosses, too. Right now we're travelling at rather a sedate pace, and the cloaking screen is up. Is there anything we need to discuss before I go to hyper speed? "

The hyper-zepplelin is small,but luxurious. Wood panelling-or a simulation so good you can't tell the differece. Brass scrollwork, plush carpeting,very victorian-but with cupholders, state of the art music system, and other modern amenities. Plus a truly impressive control panel, with a staggering array of switches,dials,knobs,levers,little blinking lights. Is some of it for show, or does each have a function? You wonder. The ship is designed for six, so the three of us ride in spacious comfort.

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:22 pm 
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Wally ponders for a moment, then speaks. "Well, if we're going to be partners, even temporarily, I should let you know that I have your lab bugged. Those crystals, in addition to being exactly what I told you they were, were also camouflage for a set of small bugs buried in them. When I spilled some on the floor, Lagos picked them up in her mouth, activated them, and spat them out at the next opportunity. I don't know where they are at the moment, but I should be able to track them down for you if this proves to be more than a temporary arrangement. As for anything else, well, that can wait. I do believe that should be at least a good step towards trust, don't you think?"


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:26 pm 
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"On, and one more thing. Would you happen to have a catapult on board? Lagos keeps begging to go into action, and I have an idea."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Lagos hops excitedly. "Ohhh, I've always wanted to try this. Please chicgeek, please tell me you have something to shoot me out of?"


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"I suspected something of the sort. So if I had eaten some of that sauce...very clever,Wally. I gathered some for later analysis-they're in one of my pockets. I am an expert in radio-did you know that Marconi was Tesla's lab assistant? After several years, the supreme court ruled in Tesla's favor, but people still-excuse me, I do tend to get sidetracked. What I'm trying to say is that you and Lagos have been bugged since shortly after you entered my lair."
Smiles."One can't be too careful."

"Hmm,something to shoot you out of? Let me put us in hover mode for a bit. There's a missile launcher I can modify.Lagos,if you will allow me to take a few measurements?"

"And while we're waiting-what do you bring to the fray? Obviously you know mad cybernetics and biology; what is your preferred attack? Oh, and Lagos, it would be a good idea for you to be in radio contact with us. If I use the earthquake gun, I'll need to give you time to get clear. Unfortunately, I'll need to be within about 500 yards or so first-I'm still working on improving the range. But it does work beautifully-were you in town when I destroyed the Quik E Mart? And I have some long range missiles, and a lovely death ray that's been needing a field test."

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:41 pm 
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Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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"Oh, I understand. I do tend to get in arguments from time to time over who invented Calculus, so I understand you're wish to correct assumptions about Dr. Tesla. As for my skills, I have to say that I'm not entirely sure. I didn't set out for more than a reconnaissance mission, so my preparations are minimal. I guess I'm limited to what I have on hand." *Wally looks at his robot hand* "I have been meaning to test out some of the offensive capabilities of this thing. That, and my prop gun will have to do. I have also done a bit of mad physics, so if you can give me some paper, I'll place Lagos right into the middle of the lab. As for radio contact, well, lets just say I have it covered. In fact, if you'll take this ear bud, I can patch you into our circuit."

*Lagos bounces excitedly* "Of course you can take my measures. I can't believe it. I get to get shot out of a cannon and then... FUN."

"Yes, you'll get to have fun." *turns back to chicgeek* "I'm sorry, but she doesn't get to participate in fights often, so when she gets the chance, well, you can see."


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:55 am 
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"B-b-b-b-b-b-but sir! This..this violates all the tenants of scientific ethics! You can't in good faith do this!"

Splash!

I adjust my glasses and look up at my comrades. One of the more mouthy ones is currently in the pre-purified water, soaking on sewage. "Does anyone else have any objections? No? Good. We proceed with the experiment as planned." I watch as the other members of my research team lift the giant vat and move it towards the filtered, safe water. Soon, the entire water supply for the whole city will be spiked with a chemical compound that should, once imbibed, cause the average human to mutate into some sort of Kafkaesque insect creature. My assistant, Jenkins, is giving me that funny look again. "What's on your mind, Jenkins? About to raise an ill-fated protest, just like Sampson?"

"Naw. It's not like the compound we cooked up will last for more than a few hours, and we'll get some good data from this anyway. But you ARE aware that this region has a lot of mad scientists in it, right?"

"You believe that the mad scientists might try to use the mutagen to their own benefit?"

"No, I think they'll see it as horning in on their territory. We're walking a fine line here, Zaks..."

I chuckle. "Ahh...Jenkins. Let me assure you, I am more than capable of dEAlIng...WIth..." I frown and start to clutch my head. Jenkins winces.

"Oh dear. Do you need to go to the back of the van, Zaks?" I nod, my body beginning to tremble, as he takes my arm and leads mre back to our corporate chariot. He looks back and addresses the crowd. "Alright people! Let's taint this drinking water! Move it!"

The scientists begin dumping our green ooze into the water, as the experiment begins...


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:04 pm 
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Wow. Nobody's ever wanted to ally with me. This could be a brilliant opportunity to bring the world under my sway...of course, it might make the family reunion next week even more awkward then it already will be...Dad really dislikes guys named Dave...I hate that dumb Alliance so much.
"I'm quite flattered by your offer, Lord Dave, but I'm afraid I cannot form an alliance with you at this time. If you leave now, I won't Chinese finger-trap you or have Ingrid throw you in stasis." *points to stasis-chamber in the center of the room* "Consider this your last warning. The next time you visit my lair, I will not be so lenient."
"Very well. I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice." *Dave points gun at Amino*
"Might I remind you, Lord Dave, that you barged into my lair without an appointment again and Ingrid really wants to try out that new sonic blaster of hers."
*Dave glances at Ingrid, who is already pulling out her sonic blaster* "Right. Of course. Please let me know if you change your mind about our alliance." *Dave quickly leaves lair*
*sigh* I really wish I could've taken Dave's offer, but I'm already in hot water with my dad already over blowing up that computer store. And I still haven't finished repairing the damage the Enforcers caused to my lair last time. The last thing I need right now is more enemies just crashing out of the sky. *extremely loud noise as a rabbit-like creature crashes out of the sky and, by an incredible stroke of luck on Dr. Amino's part, is immediately trapped within the stasis-chamber* Huh. That was odd. "It seems some of our enemies are outside. Ingrid, could you go take care of that?"
*Ingrid walks outside with a nuclear-powered sonice blaster* "HEY!!! DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?!?!" *extremely loud explosion, followed by an equally loud crash as a zeppelin hurtles to Earth*
"Good job, Ingrid."
"Thank you, ma'am."
*cackles with crazed look* "Now, I want you go out and buy all the bottled water you can. The Megalogical Rocket Society tells me that the men in white are sneaking green Jello into our water supply to turn us into cockroaches!"
"...Of course they are, ma'am."


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:35 pm 
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"What the...!" Fortunately the zeppelin-and it's passengers-are just mildly shaken up by the unscheduled landing.
"All right." I say in a too calm voice." She wants to play. We'll oblige her."
The underling who shot at us-how rude! Dr.Animo should have "welcomed" us herself-has just driven off in the direction of downtown.
I click a new set of lenses in place."Wally, Lagos appears to be in some sort of stasis chamber. Here, take a look. You said she could handle a nuclear blast? Then this should be no problem."
Aiming what looks like a super soaker.
Wally-"But lagos! She's-"
BOOM!!
"Relax", I say over the radio link(It's gotten a tad nolsy for normal conversation). "Either-a; she's still held in stasis,safe,we go in and get her. Or B; the earthquake knocked the stasis chamber out of comission, and she can escape. Now let's go pay our respects to Dr.Animo."

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:05 pm 
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As I leave a crash rings through my ears. I look around and see a large zeplin above Dr. Amino's lair, which starts to crash down to earth moments later. Ducking out of the way of the falling zeplin, which hits a local park, killing thousands of squirrel mutants, Watching with the expression of a man who stares at a train wreckage knowing he should run but simply can't look away. He can't make out the two figures but he feels the earth shake beneath his feet. Dr. Amino's lab shakes on its not so very earthquake proof foundation. Debris crashes down around the street. A street lamp falls behind Dave. Fire trucks and police sirens can be heard in the distance, coming to the locals.

Dave: Perfect. The fool refused my offer and now she knows what it means to refuse my help.

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"But how do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." — Lewis Carroll


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:15 pm 
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"Lagos, what's going on down there? Are you ok?" Wally called frantically, running towards the rubble that marks the lab of Dr. Animo.

Lagos crawled out of the rubble of the stasis chamber, and shook her head. 'I think I might have weakened it when I crashed into it, otherwise it mightn't have fallen apart in that earthquake. I better check out and see if I can find where the good Dr. has gotten off to.' "Wally, calm down, I'm just fine, your force field held up. I'm going to start searching the ruins. Try to get here soon." She started removing sections of wall by the expedient of kicking them into the air, having them land in the nearby reservoir. Peering intently at the newly revealed area, she tried to uncover signs of life.

Wally panted as he ran towards the spot where the large sections of wall were flying away from. He knew that her force field would hold through any large scale trauma, but he was unsure if it would survive repeated attempts without burning out it's battery. His feet pounded the pavement as he attempted to make sure that his companion was safe and secure, and failing that, beating the crap out of the ones who attacked his reputation in the first place. True, most of the damage so far could be blamed on him and chicgeek, but angry doesn't bow to reason that easily.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:28 pm 
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I rush after Wallycaine. "I can see her, lagos,I mean, with my goggle attachments! This way!" I point to the left. "She's okay,Wally!" I cry, not knowing if he even hears me in his panic. Blast. Perhaps I was a bit too eager to use my favorite weapon. "We'll get lagos,then kick Dr.Animo's scrawny butt!"
This started out as such a lark.Well, if Dr.Amino wasn't my nemesis before, she is now.
Stop. Think. The zepplin is sealed-no one can enter. The auto repair has been engaged.Hopefully, we'll be able to soar out of here after grabbing Lagos. And teaching the good doctor some manners. Think. Wally can find lagos easily, between the rubble she's kicking up and their radio. Radio. I am the mistress of radio and electricity. The multiscanner! Her henchman is gone on some mysterious errand, others will crowd the scene soon, but we know Dr.Animo is here. Scanning...one human lifeform. Switching to vision mode-It's her. Groggily shaking her head. Only a little rubble separates her from lagos. She'll notice her any seecond now. "WALLY!" I scream."DR.ANIMO IS WAKING UP RIGHT BEHIND LAGOS! HAVE LAGOS QUIT KICKING RUBBLE AND JUMP TOWARDS YOU! GIVE HER THE DIRECTION! I HAVE A CLEAR SHOT-I'LL DELAY HER! NOW,WALLY!"
Click. Focus. Click. Sniper sight engaged. I have one chance to make this shot. Dr.Animo starts to stand. Wait. Lagos has jumped out of the line of fire.
Engage.
FWAAAAAMMM!!!!
A twisting stream of lightning leaps from my gun, through the rubble,and engulfs Dr.Animo. Now, that's going to take some bactine!
Heh.Heh. HA! BWAHAHAHA!!!
I look around for my companions."Wally! Let's get to the hyper-zeppelin!"
"Wally!"
........
"Wally?"

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:56 pm 
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A flash of lightening leaps in front of Wally and Lagos, striking the murky figure in front of them. The resulting thunderclap knocks both backwards, into one of the remaining walls. Wally slumps to the floor, temporarily unconscious.

Lagos looks around. Beneath her is the currently unconscious body of Wally, the robot arm grasping on to her back. It seems that the emergency procedures worked out well, even if it didn't have to go far to reach her. Alright, it sounded like the Victorian lady's zeppelin was back to flight worthy, so time to skedaddle. Working her way under the body of Wally, Lagos diverted power to the augmentations in her legs, and prepared to jump.

Wally awoke to a strange sensation that resembled hopping. He looked down, and realized that the reason it resembled hopping was because it was, in fact, hopping. 'Well,' he supposed, 'there must be more ignoble ways to get off the battlefield than being carried by a rabbit. Not a great many, but a few.'


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:21 pm 
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Smothering a grin at the sight of Wally and Lagos hopping my way, I go on ahead and enter the zeppelin. Briefly the thought crosses my mind about how suprised they'd be if I left them here. No, this has been such an enjoyable day. Irradiated pasta, playing with my toys-er, I mean field testing my inventions-,and I may have gained a new nemesis to boot!
Plus I find I'd rather not abandon them. Odd, that. I wonder if he'd be interested in more than a temporary partnership. The havoc we could wreck! And it would be-dare I say it?-fun.

They board, rather ungracefully. I ruthlessly engage lift off while they're still sprawled in an ungainly heap. Hee! Engage cloaking device.
And...hyper-drive!
Wheee! I call out merrilly "Any other little errands to run before we arrive at your lair? Whoops, too late,we're here!"
I love doing that!
"Wally, I'd like to take a little time to double check the repairs on the Zephyr, if you don't mind. Where would be the best place to park? It's a good thing this isn't a full size zeppelin!"
"And I just happen to have a bottle of champagne chilling. After all, if one must travel, travel in style! " I'm beaming. I destroyed someone's lair! Well, the three of us did.Close enough. "Care for a toast?"

_________________
.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:35 pm 
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"Wha, huh, *sputter*. There, feeling better. I think you could park in any field near the barn. The neighbors don't actually till those fields, so I get to use them how I wish, as long as I'm not growing crops. Champagne? I suppose that a little toast couldn't hurt. Would you like to take it here or in the lair?"


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