Comics by Shaenon II

Mad science has never been so cute!
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:05 pm 
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... I wouldn't worry about length. Seriously. We tend to average one to four paragraphs, easy.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:27 pm 
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Heh heh heh.
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Claire: Given recent events, I'd like to make you an offer now.

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"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:29 pm 
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Sorry wolfin :( I try to keep it lively but we really need more people in the practice to make it start jumping.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 5:57 am 
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Quote:
Claire: Given recent events, I'd like to make you an offer now.


Jane don't hurry too much. Izydora will be gone by the end of this chapter maybe, just maybe. I'm not sure how I'm going to play her leaving.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:06 pm 
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If you still want to hire me, Miss Narbon, I can wait until after the thing with Izydora is resolved, even if it takes a while. Just let me know if/when I should come in.

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"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

Spam Poison. I think.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:40 pm 
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~*~ Another city, a few days ago... ~*~

“Hey. You ever read the original tale of Aladdin? After Aladdin gets his wishes from the genie, he’s got everything – he’s filthy rich and married to a beautiful princess, making him heir to the throne to boot. He puts the genie’s lamp on the highest shelf in his bedroom, and vows not to use it again.

“One day, while Aladdin’s out, a man comes to the palace, with an incredible deal: he’ll exchange all old pots, pans, (and yes, lamps) for bright, shiny new ones. The servants grow busy enough taking advantage of the man’s business that even Aladdin’s wife becomes interested, and throws the magic lamp to the old seller in the courtyard.

“Instantly Aladdin is stripped of his wife, his riches, and the entire palace. Everything is transported elsewhere. As Aladdin returns to what was once his home, his uncle is somewhere laughing...

“What do you think of that? Speaks volumes, doesn’t it? About hubris and fallacies and such?” Janet Torvalds leaned forward to grin impishly at her captive, a skinny man whose limbs are bound with yellow happy-face ties.

“I’ll find you,” he growled. “I’ll hunt you down for this.”

“I’m sure you will. The neural chaff will keep you from escaping too quickly. By the time you can think straight enough to come after me, I’ll be Somebody Else’s Problem,” she added, lovingly patting the small metal cube hanging from her belt.

The captive blanched. “You stole that too?”

Janet rolled her eyes and reached for a syringe of shimmering gray liquid. “You didn’t learn anything from Aladdin’s story, did you? Dr. Gluon – sir – I’m just the Janitor. You invited me in. It may be my fault you’re tied up in your underground bunker in your skivvies, but I believe very strongly that you needed to fall.” She found a vein and injected the hapless Mad with the contents of the syringe, watching as his eyes went fuzzy from the strain of trying to follow any train of thought.

“’Bye, Derek, babe!” she called, slamming the heavy door shut behind her. “Just think of it as – haha – the price of a happy ending! Mwa-heh-heh. Mehe. Mwa-ha-hAHAHA~!”


~*~ Present day, in a certain well-known city ~*~

Casual passersby may have wondered about the homeless woman getting off the Charington bus. How had she earned enough money to make the trip between cities? Why was she dressed in tattered clothes if she had? And then there was her age. Wasn’t she young enough to still have a future? Surely a job at McDonalds would have at least kept her finger-bones and ribs hidden. But there was something about her eyes that withered questions before they were asked. Those eyes were old beyond her years, and always slightly unfocused, as though she was constantly looking back at some hard past.

The homeless woman weaved down the street from the bus station, making her way by whimsy rather than any sense of direction. As she walked, something curious happened... she appeared to be getting dirtier the further she walked. Finally, the woman gave a glad cry and pulled a refrigerator box out from behind a dumpster. She dragged it into a nearby alley, tearing away part of a side for entry.

Satisfied with her work, the woman reached into a pocket and withdrew a small metal cube, which she tapped, and then placed just within the cardboard box.

“Well, that’s done,” Janet said, plopping onto the cement.

“You can get off now,” she added. The dirt she’d accumulated seemed to boil off her body to pool around her feet instead. “I appreciate the welcome. I’m sure I’ll get to know most of you very quickly.”

The dirt rippled sheepishly.

“So tell me about the city,” Janet said to the dust mites, and they obliged.

“That many Mads, huh?” she murmured, when they were through. “I mean, I knew, but... Wow. There’ll be no lack of work, I suppose.”

The dust mites bounced their agreement.

“I hate to put you to work so quickly, but would those of you living with Mads deliver these for me?”

The dust mites, making a mass movement that could only be translated as “Pshaw,” were only too happy to receive the flyers that read:

Quote:
“Let the Janitor Work Her Magic on Your Home, Lab, or Hideout!
The best price around – ten dollars plus your trash (no stealing – you approve what gets taken first)! Secrecy guaranteed! And best of all, a well-scrubbed, organized lab that will cause your enemies to bow to your superior skills!
The Janitor will visit you soon to answer any questions and schedule cleanings.
Don’t call us... we’ll find you.”


As the dust mites began trickling back to their homes, Janet called softly, “Do any of you live with the Professor – ah, Andrew Tinker?” A patch of the mites halted and inched their way back towards the woman in the hobo outfit. She took their copy of the flyer and put it in her box. “Sorry guys, but he’ll just have to wait.”

The remaining dust mites scurried away, discussing the way the nice baggy lady had suddenly seemed so tall and, well, clean as she smiled at them. And the Janitor, standing beside her box in the midst of a Somebody Else’s Problem Field, began to cackle.


(Sorry - I know "Janet" is only one letter away from "Jane." I just couldn't resist making the punny pseudonym. If it's any comfort, most people will only know her as "the Janitor" or, when in hobo wear, "Alice.")


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:37 pm 
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Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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Ohhh! Fresh meat!
In the words of Zombie Des (Minion from planet 312a487d), may I say the formal welcoming speech in his quaint regional dialect:
BRAINS!
BRrrr...aaains!
Arrghh... Brains!

Sorry I mixed a little bit of Street Zombie into it, but honestly, it's a shame for what passes as a member of the shambling dead these days. And with the recent explosion of New Age Zombieism culture, it's hard not to let all the new street slang slip into your proper zombie cant.

Sigh, I remember when you could Braaaiiiiins! for a couple Brrraiins.... now its all brraainns... Bbrains... bRaInS.
Shame really.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:20 pm 
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Brains? B-b-brains? Braaains... Brain-brains.

Yeah, I don't know Zombie. I hope I sounded humorously inept? Or at least philosophically vague?

I meant to say thank you, though. Please, take a coupon.

Quote:
Free! Your pick of the technological marvels the Janitor creates with your trash!


What? You're a hench? I prefer clean for Mads, but you've been so welcoming...


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:24 pm 
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Welcome, JaneTor!

You know, it's really nice to have more people around here. It reminds me of an old saying. "You never know when-"

*Sees Zombie Desius out of the corner of his eye* "UNDEAD SCOURGE AT 7 O'CLOCK!" *He whips out several firearms and begins unloading them at Zombie Des in rapid succession. Once he's done, he turns around. "So anyways...I kinda forgot what I was saying, but welcome anyway. Do you do restaurant-related trash? I kinda have the remains of an old malfunctioning Ice Cream machine that I need someone to cart off for me.

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We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:41 pm 
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Of course! Maybe you'd also be interested in my trash-rehabilitation services? I won't guarantee it'll work in... quite the way it's supposed to, but it will work!

Hmmm, ice cream... flavored snowballs? ...specialized-snowball fights... there's probably a market for that... *eyes unfocus slightly*


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:48 pm 
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Ah...of course! I can't see anything going wrong with that!

Just be careful to change the power source. It originally was powered by human Wonderment, and that led to some odd side-effects. And try to avoid touching the Toppings dispenser. I won't give any lawsuit-incurring details, but if you try to get it to disperse Oreo chunks it may accidentally fling you into a far-flung alternate future.

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We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:31 pm 
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Human Wonderment?! Wooow. What a great idea! Surprising it hasn't been used before...

(A few centuries ago, a cackling man with a pipe harnesses pure childhood wonder in order to annoy the children's penny-pinching parents. He successfully disappears into another dimension, only to find it entirely populated by unicorns, rainbows and sugar plum castles. Two years later he is killed in an unfortunate accident involving a giant marauding marshmallow man.)

Unfortunately, I don't think I'm good enough to fix the power source. It'd probably draw from other human emotions instead, and then things really would go wrong! No, I think a less dangerous power source would do. I personally like paper shredders. Rig them up with a bit of denim and some twine and they can run forever!

...It's too bad about the alternate future thing... I really like Oreos. A weight system to counterbalance the flinging, perhaps... But I have no hench, so testing might... B-but the Oreos... Crunchy-sugary-goodness-Oreos. Oh motherfudge. I'm going to try it anyway, aren't I? *resigned grin*


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 10:12 am 
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Seeing what an interesting thing you gentlemen and gentle ladies have going here, I humbly request (demanding with a death ray can get you only so far) to join the ranks of the prestigious line of work of mad scientist. My name is Sir Hawkwolf (got kicked out before getting a degree) and I hope my resume impresses you. I have been personally responsible for the mini kangaroo infestation in Lexinburg, work with Dr. Angleton on the improbable booting system and even worked on the Agnostic Super Fortress currently owned by Prof. Evan and his legion of glass lobstermen.

I do have my own working underground lair but it is still a work in progress.


Last edited by Hawkwolf on Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:19 am 
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Hello Hawkwolf!

I'm not the guy in charge around here by a long shot, but I will say that it's good to see more people interested in the game. I don't see much of a reason why you wouldn't be invited.

Anyways, feel free to hang around... if you post in the Practice Wars a bit, I can at least guarentee that someone will pop up and entertain you there while you wait for an invite.

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:24 am 
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in the second wars one or the one in this section? Honestly I feel like I am stepping into something way too big for me for a while so I do hope patience is one of the traits in good supply.


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:49 am 
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This thread is for this this game, not the second wars. Although if you wanted to join the second wars, I'd be the person to see about that. And as for the "stepping into something way too big for me" feeling, don't worry too much about it. You're not expected or required to know EVERYTHING that's happened in the game thus far to join in the fun.

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:54 am 
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Ok thanks. I am interested for the second wars but didn't see a signup thread. Now thinking back on it, I bet the second practice wars is probably it in a self proclaimed fashion.


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:50 pm 
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Johnathan Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmitz wanted to be registered as a mad scientist. Again. "How many are we up to now, eighteen?" The field agent said as he looked at the news on his cellphone. That wasn't even counting the ones registered as "dead."

Marta Jingleheimer-Schmitz had carried on the traditional name of "John" to a new generation. Therefore the agency assigned a new generation of rookie field agents to watch each one. Rookies like me.

I was being assigned to the big guy with the ponytail in the corner. I was told that all the Johns were different and the name "Jingleheimer-Schmitz" would look good on my resume when I was transferred. Still, he didn't look much like a mad scientist, and my senior agent wasn't sticking around like he expected any problems.

I ordered the pretentious pasta and got ready for a long night of watching the man play solitaire with his laptop. I wonder if he had wi-fi on that thing. Hmm, my cellphone's ringing? A call from HQ?

"IDIOT! DON'T ANSWER OUR CALLS IN A PUBLIC PLACE!!" An encrypted voice barked, "TAKE IT SOMEWHERE PRIVATE!!!"

"Yeesh! sorry..." I said, ducking under the table. But they had already hung up. I looked up and the John was just putting the ace away. Lousy solitaire, this is not what I expected on my first day as a secret agent.

Okay I might have EXPECTED it, but I was sure was hoping it wasn't true...

I needed another drink. Luckily my pasta had arrived. This waitress was a lot cuter than the last one. It was a shame she dressed more like a waiter. I mean "black tie, white shirt, black pants?" Not exactly Anna Millers. She set down my steaming plate of pasta and even a bottle of champagne. Then she set another plate down opposite me?

"Miss? I only ordered one plate of pasta..." I looked up at her.

"But dining alone is suspicious..." She smile mysteriously. And without further ado, she sat down at my table and picked up a pasta fork!

Wait, "black tie, white shirt, black pants" were all part of the spy uniform I was wearing. Did that mean she...? Before I could even ask about it, a saucy noodle fell on her once clean white blouse. She barely looked at it before she untied the tie and stripped off the shirt, revealing the little black party dress she wore underneath. At least, I hoped it was a dress, once upon a time such a slip might be considered underwear. She even held up the pants to show she was ditching those under the table too. Somewhere in the distance there was a slap, as if by an unrelated waitress to an equally unrelated customer. But I couldn't take my eyes off her...

"So how was work today, Jim...?" She asked as she somberly slurped noodles.

"Work?" Oh, #@%$ I'm on the job here! I looked over at Dr. Jingleheimer-Schmitz, but he was busily angrily hitting "undo" on his solitaire game. He must not have played his cards right. "Work, work's going fine."

"So nothing big happened?" She asked, eyeing me suspiciously...

"Oh, you know, just the usual..." I started to sweat a bit, hoping I was doing the script right and the right script. Curse you, spy speak.

"Then dare I hope, you actually remembered our anniversary...?!" It takes a fine actress to do such a bad poker face.

"Happy Anniversary, Darling!" I smiled, trying to hide my utter relief.

"JIMMY!" She squealed, hugging me. Spy speak, you are so SO forgiven! "He actually remembered our the anniversary of our FIRST DATE!" She shouted to the restaurant, visibly flushed.

"Oh, it was just like this, wasn't it! Running into each other in the restauarant..." She poured us sparkling champagne. "Here's to... well... us..." She giggled as if she couldn't look me straight in the face. I however couldn't keep my eyes off her.



She just seemed so absurdly happy that I might remember something like this. Of course, I...

"What was your name again?"

"Okay, I think that's enough champagne... Well, maybe just one more glass!" She giggled, "The bubble tickle..."



I barely noticed when Dr. Jingleheimer-Schmitz started packing up his laptop, but I could NOT let him leave the restaurant without me watching him. I waved the waiter down with "Check please."

"Check, check! Sound check" My "date" put her hand to her ear as if testing an invisible microphone. Then she giggled like she was just drunk.

"C'mon you." I said as I took her by the arm.

"Oh, please, call me "Cammy!" ♪ I wanna grow old with you! ♫ I wanna die lying in your arms! ♪ " She launched into an offkey rendition of an electronic remix. I think this is what the spy academy meant by "refuge in audacity." We left the restaurant with only a few stares and a distant smattering of applause.

"Sharing in everthing you do♪" I'd even joined in by the time we reached the door, "♫ I wanna grow old with you... ♫"

Thankfully the cool night air sobered us both up. Dr. Jingleheimer-Schmitz was a notorious walker, so we couldn't tail him with anything that had fourwheels and a spraypaint disguise. Her heels clicked softly behind me as we gave chase on foot. Dr. Jingleheimer-Schmitz seemed oblvious to us, then suddenly-

"Police! Quick, in here!" She pulled me into an alley. From the darkness of the alley, we could indeed see the flashlight beam, hear the footfalls of the beat walking officer. Why was she scared of the cops? Who was this girl, really? And what was she-

She pulled our lips together into a soft, shocking, soothing embrace. The cold of the world was forgotten, or rather it wasn't cold anymore. The officer shone his spotlight upon us. "Everything alright here folks?"

"Just trying to get a little privacy, officer..." She said as she leaned her head against my chest. Her hair smelled... nice.

"Carry on." He tipped his hat to us and went on his way. Why did that officer look familiar...?

The tiny figure that clung to me shiverred. My job. Dr. Jingle-whatever. "Umm..."

"Give me a minute, I'm FREEZING in this skimpy thing..." As if I needed to be reminded about her bare legs.

I reached into my pocket and pressed the button on my keychain. Some other people might have starters that warm up their car in the cold, cold winter. But not everyone has a car that will drive itself to your doorstep to make that short, chilly dash as short as possible. Yeah, I was abusing my spy car privileges, and for picking up a girl no less. But if they were really so uptight about it, they shouldn't have made it out of a sportscar.

In minutes we were warm, several streets down and I was watching Dr. Jingleheimer-Schmitz enter his living place of business. Window lights on, then window lights out. "So, what do we do now?" My passenger asked from the dimly lit interior of the car.

"Now, we wait..." I said, stoically looking at my target's homebase. Just like a real spy.

She turned my head twoards her and slid the shades down my nose so she was looking deep into my eyes. "You have nightvision goggles. Don't you think there's a better use for them?" Then she turned out all the lights. And then I understoood.

Oh boy, did I understand...





...or I thought I did.

Late in the night, I was aroused from my sleep. I don't know how late it was, even the radio clock had been turned off. Late enough to be early morning I guess. And there she was, right by my side. Memories of the last few hours flooded my half-awake mind until I was fully awake to see...

...that she was near tears. "I'm sorry..." She whispered, "I am so sorry..."

"Hey..." I tried to reach out an comfort her, but she pulled away, "...what's there to be sorry for?"

"Because I am powerless to act without the sufferance of my Creator..." She looked at me pleadingly.

"Creator...? Not... not Dr. Jingleheimer!" I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to!

"I'm sorry..." And then she was gone.

Gone like... gone.

I reached forward and felt around until my hands fell on the passenger door. I stepped out my car and looked around frantically. I was invisible for a living, and there was no way someone could disappear that fast...

...she couldn't be gone...

But there was nothing but my empty car and the empty street. Across that empty, empty street was an empty karate studio and an empty laundromat. And right between them, "J-tech", the home business of Johnathan Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmitz...

"DR. JINGLEHEIMER-SCHMITZ!!!" I kicked in the door, a man in black, sunglasses and desert eagle blazing in the morning light.

"His name IS my name too..." He had the audacity to sit behind the counter and make JOKES!

You know, the black suit, black glasses, identical haircuts? They all combine to make us field agents "faceless." But a face isn't faceless when it has tears running down it... "WHERE'S CAMMY?!?"

"Who?" The @#%#-er actually looked genuinely perplexed.

"THE GIRL!!! you created her WHERE IS SHE!?!?" The gun shook in my hand. I was going to shoot him. I was ACTUALLY going to shoot him, in cold blood. For her...

"*I* created?" He seemed surprised, @#% he was hard to read. Then a slow, sad smile dawned on him. "Look on the shelf behind you..."

I didn't trust him. I didn't trust him enough to take my eyes of him. I looked. There were racks of bubbling test tubes. And one test tube that didn't bubble. It had a label: "Liquid Girlfriend."

"Its a hallucinogen." He said, with his hands up in a gesture of "Don't shoot." God, I wanted to shoot him! "Developed by my grandfather shortly before his lab blew up. Poor grandmother acted so distraught at the time." He was surpressing an evil chuckle, I just knew it, "If you drink that, you'll be able to see her again."

"H-How..."

"Its a targeted pheremone volatile, everything around you looks normal. But there's someone extra, someone perfect..."

"I'd decide quickly if I were you. If your brain recovers too much from the effects, you might still recieve a vision of loveliness, but it won't be HER."

There's a deadly seriousness in his next words, "It won't ever be her again..."

My eyes dart back to the vial. Its so close... "WHAT DO YOU WANT!!" God, I feel like trembling, but my gun's never been steadier...

"Want?" He smiled in an almost fatherly fashion, lowering his hands until it seemed he was gesturing for a hug, "Dear boy, don't you know..."

His smile didn't fade, instead it grew BIGGER, grew eviler, "...The first one is ALWAYS FREE!"



His evil laughter chased me down the steet as I clutched her in my arms. Her, and what little hope for the future there was left for us...


THE END


You may hear the song referenced in this piece at the following link(s):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPuCwhcg_WQ

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of the tallest tower - with a sniper rifle.


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 1:52 am 
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Niiice stuff. Very nice stuff. You may well soon be headed for MSW writerdom!

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Welcome to the promised LAN.


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:30 pm 
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I concur. Very impressive...

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"Only If It's Funny".


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:08 pm 
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Hello, fellow doctors and other various evil men. I, am only known as Herr Doktor. I Perform Complicated surgeries in my--- oh my. The latest er patient, has escaped his bonds.
MY HANDS! YOU TOOK MY HANDS!
Strap him down!
NO! GET YOUR NASTY SYRINGES AWAY FROM ME AWAAAAAAaaayyyyyy....
Ah, as I was saying, I am a competent surgeon. In addition to normal medical equipment I take many devices of my own invention and some that even fall outside the realm of reference(s). I seek work as a henchman to a suitably evil genius. I took medical classes at the University of Berlin, But I was expelled for... intellectual differences.
*flashback*
Vat do you mean that I can't make supersoldiers? All it takes is steroids, some neural inhibitors, it'll cost you mabye one hundred dollars, less if you have the meds on hand for classes!

It's Unethical

I'll Unethical you!! *Grabs Bonesaw*

Get Away! *whack* gahhh! Sharp! *slash* OH god, ohhhh.

Ahhhhhh, summer days...

Unlike many of the others here I have no need for this 'insurance' or for benefits other than lots of medication.
Why, you ask,? Well, long term parasitic superviruses can make for a nasty doctors visit unless you have the antidote. *Whistles innocently*

I know ways to medically circumvent nanobots and many other forms of trickery. If you need a henchman who is well-versed in the application of toxins and a master of... interrogation, I'm your new doktor! Now, this man hasn't paid his medical bills.

Hi, Doc!
Hello Brian.
I think I need another referral doc, My hair got longer. Do you know a good dermatoligist?
What does your hair have to do with dermatoligy?
Oh, Isn't that the term for those new-age treatments?
No... Oh, What's this? you have um CompeltianMoronian Syndrome, I have to give you some meds for it. *picks up syringe filled with strange extract*
Is that all natural?
It's made of Guatemalan Insanity Peppers but the name is a misnomer. *injects*
Habble hooga nagga nagga hey! *Runs Into street babbling about the lizard Queen*

Nurse: Doctor, I thought you said the name is a misnomer!
It is, the peppers are native to Brazil.

So, I have to go give my old boss my two slice I mean week notice. Hope for an evil choice. Bwaha. Ha.

_________________
Rumors of my death are probably true. I make a very clean looking zombie.


Last edited by Herr Doktor on Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:41 pm 
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Mad Scientist Unbelievable
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Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:16 am
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Location: California
Hmmm... interestig. A genuine, classical Mad Scientist/ Unethical Doctor?
A refreshing choice.

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:45 pm 
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Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:18 pm
Posts: 288
Location: Washington
Sure, Although I think that the reference has escaped you at this point. Ah well. I took the Hippocratic oath but what can I say, I'm such a hyppocrite.

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Rumors of my death are probably true. I make a very clean looking zombie.


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:58 pm 
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Mad Scientist Unbelievable
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Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:16 am
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Eh, the only one *I* can think of is Team Fortress... but as I'm not particularly video game savvy I wouldn't know. So, yes, it's likely the reference has escaped me.

_________________
"Only If It's Funny".


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 6:16 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:30 am
Posts: 4538
Location: Burnsville
It's nice to meet you, Herr Doktor! I hope you'll stick around! We can always use some fresh blood around here, and I'd love to know more about your character...

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 9:25 pm 
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Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:18 pm
Posts: 288
Location: Washington
He is completely insane, as in absolutley. He's a few doses short of a medical regimen. But, his skills make him a deadly hench but not exactly a superb solo mad. I got a friend interested and he thought up a master od disguise type fellow. Has anything like that been done? otherwise we've been thinking up even more... (most references will be video games)

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Rumors of my death are probably true. I make a very clean looking zombie.


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 10:22 pm 
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"Romus, a powerful name for a powerful man."
I extended my stare.
"do you admit that you have a sick need for power?"
I remain in silence.
"Ah, no response, avoidance?" The man paces...paces...paces...
I stay unmoving, assited by my bonds.
"You seek to create an empire of evil do you Mr. Romus?"
"Heh, the empire is all around you, men like yourself, some men, some androids, all seve me."
The FBI agent smiles arrogantly, "Sure, and I'm Elvis Presley."
I sit up in mock excitement, "Oh my god, the drugs didn't kill you!? I need your autograph!" The agent seems rather angry, hmmmm.
"You do not have an evil empire, we found you with a flare gun sticking up a fast food restauraunt For a taco! God, these so called 'evil geniuses' more like evil wise guys."
The agent just made a big mistake...very...big.

I stare at him and laugh, just laugh, somwhere between evil and utterley insane laughter to be precise.
"Knock it off!" He's settled into the only other chair, determined to meet his doom.
He has no idea that I no longer reside in my body, but in the mind of his best friend, who had been co-opted by two centouians the night before. 'I' rush in to stop the interrogation.
"chad! he's not our problem!" (wonderful acting I must say.)
"what, why not?"
" He's certaily not martian."
I make my puppet smile... why, no one will ever be our problem again. 'I' raise a rather large gun to the man's head and can't resist a movie quote... "not a force in the verse..."

My puppet unties me, none the worse for wear. My true body looks at him, "you are now released."
The puppet collapses, although still living he has been given a new identity, and he will never learn of his past. Any man is the tool of my mind, my body corrupted by technology and more disturbing entities infused into me by my experiments, I set off, my own legion...

I set out to reclaim my empire, and now, I have come for yours... beware any person.. for although I have little control over mads beyond basic motor skill access, you can't be safe from the billions around you, for they could be mine, and will eventually be mine. As will you, in the end.

_________________
Beware the legions of Romus...


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 9:21 pm 
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New Madsci
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Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:56 am
Posts: 22
Location: Louisville, KY
Greetings gentlefolk. my name is Mithril Jack and I am a bard by trade. My quest is for admittance to Ye Mad Alchemie Wars. Here is an excerpt from Who's Who Among Multiversal Troublemakers (4th edition)

Quote:
Mithril Jack, alias Jack, Smilin’ Jack, Songbird, Flynn Fairbanks, Mithril Jerk, and That Gods Damned Mother Plucking Jack-Ass, (among others), is a swashbuckler, musician/showman, and accidental multiversal traveler. Originally hailing from the dimension of Hybornika, Jack earned the eternal enmity of its sorcerous barbarian warlord Gronan the Destroyer by stealing the black string from the fabled Golden Harp of Chaos. Gronan had planned to employ the Harp in his plans for multiversal conquest, but without that string, now residing on Jack’s guitar, he feared being unable to control the incomplete instrument’s powerful magical energies. Agents of Gronan now hunt Jack throughout the infinite spheres.

Jack stands 5’ 11” and weighs 165 pounds. He is fair of face, with brown eyes, a pencil thin mustache, and sandy blonde hair that seems to change style to suit whatever situation he happens to be in. One might say that his head has a “mullet space”. When not playing a gig, he wears comfortable clothes in forest green and black. He wields a rapier with a silver alloy blade. His seven-stringed guitar is worn with much playing but is obviously well cared for. It has six mithril strings in addition to the aforementioned black one. It never leaves his side.

Besides being a puissant swordsman , Jack is a capable spell weaver, using his songs and his guitar to focus his enchantments; however, he will avoid plucking the instrument’s black seventh string, as the results have proven …unpredictable. His patron deity is Panish, the Hybornikan god of fashion and good taste. Other planes may or may not have equivalent versions of this deity.

_________________
Oh, I could be anyone I wanted to be,
Maybe suave Errol Flynn or the Sheik of Araby,
If I only had a pencil thin mustache,
Then I could do some cruisin' too!


-----J. Buffet, troubadour extraordinaire


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 8:52 am 
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Mad Scientist Unbelievable
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Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:30 am
Posts: 4538
Location: Burnsville
I'd be happy to have you join the Fantasy game! Just wait for Chic and Tinker to give you an opportunity to jump in, and welcome to the adventure!

_________________
We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun


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 Post subject: Re: The Mad Scientist Wars Signup Queue
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:55 am 
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Established Mad Scientist
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Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:35 am
Posts: 101
Location: What is a location but a point in a world without meaning?
"Madness extends to all parts of the human psychie. We have Mad Scientists, Mad Artists, Mad ENGLISH PROFESSORS... we even have Mad Accountants, although thier specific kind of madness is one hardly noticeable.

...

Hm? What? Oh, right, yes, my name. My name is... uh... Hold on."

The speaker hurredly digs around in his pockets, unearthing such things as old mint packets, coins, a magnifying glass and three molars of unknown origin. He finally procures his wallet, which he opens. After a second of looking at his driver's licence, he seems to remember something.

"Ah! Yes!" he says, replacing his items, "My name is Revel Cogson, I'm sorry. I'm a philosopher. Now, where was I...?

...

Oh, sod it."

In frustration, he whips off his half-moon glasses, polishing them on the worn sleeve of his dinner jacket.

"I dont know, I really don't. One day, you figure out the meaning of life, run down the street screaming 'Eueka' to the nearest pub, have a few celebratory bottles of scotch and the next morning you can't remember a goddamn thing!"

Replacing his glasses and smoothing back his unkempt ginger hair, he kicks his heels, completely lost in his train of thought.

"I mean," he continues, "It's not like once you've figured out the solution to the universe that you'd NEED a drink anyway, unless the purpose of life is to get drunk. In which case, life seems pretty monotonous to me. What's the point of getting a P.H.D. in Philosophy if all you need to do to be happy is get whammed every night? perhaps everyone else had already noticed that, and I'm just the statistical remainder of the great Problem of Life? perhaps I'd like a scotch? Yes, that seems more likely."

Withdrawing a hip-flask from deep within another pocket, he chews his lip, launching again into an extended hypothesis.

"Perhaps I got drunk because the purpose of life is to die? it would explain why I proceeded to ingest three bottles of what scientifically could be called poison immediately after realising the secret to a happy world. Still, even if it is, there's no reason for the Secret Police to keep tabs on me! Surely if the epiphanies I broach to other people induce madness and sucicidal depression, then one must assume that those epiphanies are in keeping with what is good and right in the world? Must we conform to our social norms when we cannot be certain that there is even such a thing as normal, when everyone hides his true nature behind a façade of conformity...? Can I take another drink?"

He seemed to think about this for a while.

"... yes. yes I can. After all, if ingesting what I percieve as an enjoyable and relaxing drink were really that detrimental to my happyness, then I would not have proceeded to do so after realising the Universal Truth then, would I? Sheesh. Kant was full of crap."

---

_________________
This is, of course assuming you are not figments of my imagination. Of course, it is impossible for you to be, as your imagination is simply the application of things you have learned in new ways. If nothing was real, then I would not have any experiences, and thus no imagination.

"Science does not have a moral dimension. It is like a knife. If you give it to a surgeon or a murderer, each will use it differently."
- Wernher von Braun


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