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Mad science has never been so cute!
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 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 6:14 pm 
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This is actually pretty terrible, and a work in progress, but I'm not likely to have much time for it anytime soon and I wanted to put something up. If you want to invent a reference, please feel free. Just be sure to use the format style of the first reference entry.

Potential Use of Microalgae in Plots of World Domination

Dr. Geneve K. Beard
published through Port Limb Oceanographic Institute, in association with the Fathom Atlantean University


Microalgae are important and often overlooked organisms in all aquatic environments, especially marine. The marine environment is itself often overlooked in quests of world domination, despite the fact that it makes up more than 70% of the planet. In this study members of the microalgal community were genetically manipulated in multiple ways deemed useful for a plot of world domination. The modified organisms were then released in isolated, randomized test plots of several types, and their effects compared against controls. My findings suggest that microalgae do in fact have exciting potential as mechanisms in the creation of a new world order.


There are those among the mad scientific community who hold that the only way to really succeed in the fields of havoc, destruction, and ultimately total world domination is with giants. Giant robots. Giant death rays. Giant betentacled monstrosities from other dimensions. Giant spiked death balls. Giant gerbils. From the brightest and most likely to survive of those young minds just turning to madness, to the most distinguished of our number, there is no shortage of those who will argue that one simply cannot properly conquer so much as a northern Pacific island without the aid of a gross perversion of science at least 20 feet tall.
All of them are complete fools.

The following is a study of the potential applications of mad biology on members of the protistan microalgal community, specifically Phylum Bacillariophyta, or diatoms. My goal was to determine in what ways these microalgae could best be manipulated to serve the purposes of world conquest, how easily they can be produced and deployed for such purposes, and what effects, negative or positive, said modified organisms may have on the marine environment.
Diatoms are eukaryotic, photosynthetic, single-celled organisms lacking a visible means of locomotion and encased within a silica frustule, or shell. While they can be roughly divided into two morphological types, the pennate (or rectangular and elongated) and the centric (or “petri dish like”), there is a remarkable diversity among them, with over 10,000 known extant species and at least as many more known only from the fossil record. They prefer colder temperatures overall and are plentiful in cold waters as both single independent cells and colonies, but in especially cold temperatures are capable of going dormant for long periods of time, resting in the benthic zone in protective, heavily ornamented frustules. Diatoms are responsible for up to 35% of the entire world’s oxygen supply. There are also species of diatom which produce domoic acid, a potent toxin associated with amnesic shellfish poisoning. Diatoms known to produce domoic acid include P. multiseries, P. pseudodelicatissima, and P. australis. Common symptoms of amnesic shellfish poisoning, other than amnesia and other neurological symptoms, include vomiting, diarrhea, hemorrhaging of the stomach, headache, dizziness, vision problems, weakness, seizures, irregular heart rhythm, and hiccups. For these reasons, diatoms are of incalculable importance while simultaneously holding incredible destructive potential.


P. multiseries were treated with DNA from T. mesmerisa, or the Hypnotic Tulip (original creator unknown), using plasmids containing the gene for the coding of Protein X (believed to be the source of T. mesmerisa’s hypnotic abilities). They were then cultured in 16 18x37 meter tanks with salinity at 35 ppt +/- .2 ppt and temperature at a constant 23 degrees Celsius. The resulting cultures were treated with a preprogrammed biogenic nanite wash. 40 undergraduate student “volunteers”and 40 great white pelicans (Pelecanus onocrotalus) were assigned to one of 4 treatments: exposure to altered P. multiseries, exposure to unaltered P. multiseries, exposure to the nontoxic related diatom P. subcurvata, or control. Each subject was assigned a number, and a random number generator was used to determine the treatment each subject received. The subjects were monitored for a two-week period before remote biogenic nanite activation and a two-week period after remote biogenic nanite activation. They were then subjected to a multiwave-based hypnotic suggestion broadcaster keyed to the biological signals of the nanites, which was keyed to broadcast randomly selected commands from a master command list and record commands given in order. During this period subjects were monitored for two more weeks, their behavior recorded and susceptibility to the command lists estimated based on both consistency over time and susceptibility (lack of resistance). Both consistency and susceptibility were rated according to a 5-point rubric, five being greatest consistency or least resistance and 1 being least consistency and greatest resistance. (Note: Significant aspects of method removed for security reasons. For full methods, request full paper through email at


Treatment 1: Control. Of the 10 human subjects, all displayed no unusual behavior or symptoms before or after nanite activation or broadcaster exposure. Of the ten pelicans, eight displayed no unusual behavior or symptoms. Two pelicans spontaneously combusted in an unrelated incident.
Treatment 2: P. subcurvata. Of the 10 human subjects, 9 displayed no unusual behavior before or after nanite activation or broadcaster exposure. The tenth began collecting and mutating local littoraria snails to create an unstoppable gastropod army, destroying approximately 1/10th of the campus dining hall and the research vessel drydock, during . This is believed to be unrelated to the subject’s exposure to P. subcurvata. Of the 10 pelicans, none displayed unusual behavior or symptoms.
Treatment 3: unaltered P. multiseries. Of the 10 human subjects, 9 displayed severe symptoms of amnesic shellfish poisoning, including gastrointestinal symptoms, dizziness, fainting and amnesia. 1 developed chronic hiccups, which may or may not have been a result of exposure to P. multiseries. Of the 10 pelicans, 3 died (but were successfully revivified with standard techniques), 6 developed nonviolent erratic behavior but lived, and 1 developed violent erratic behavior and lived. Of those who developed nonviolent erratic behavior, all appeared to fly erratically, roost in unfamiliar places, collide with moving and nonmoving objects, and decrease or cease feeding behavior. The one who developed violent erratic behavior, in addition to the above symptoms, began to attack students by swooping in low and attempting to enclose the target’s head in its beak. No serious harm was done to any of the students. Symptoms persisted for five days in 4 of the nonviolent erratics, and persisted for the full 4 weeks in all other continuously surviving specimens, upon which they were handed over to the Ornithology dept. for treatment.
Treatment 4: altered P. multiseries. Of the 10 human subjects, all exhibited hiccups and reported seeing “dancing blue spots” intermittently for approximately 1 hour after initial ingestion, and afterwards reported few or no symptoms for the two weeks before biogenic nanite activation or broadcaster exposure. 3 reported forgetting major class assignments after activation and before broadcaster exposure, but whether this is connected to the ingestion of altered P. multiseries is questionable. Of the 10 pelicans, none displayed unusual behavior during the first two weeks.
After activation of the biogenic nanites, none of the subjects initially exhibited symptoms associated with Amnesic Shellfish Poisoning. Seven of the human subjects did report increased fatigue. In this situation it is possible that the subjects’ midterm exams were confounding factors. By day 3 of the two-week period all were exhibiting unusual vulnerability to several forms of broadcast hypnotic suggestion being used by other, unrelated experiments, and 5 reported periods of memory loss extending no longer than 15 minutes. There was a 100% success rate in command obedience in both pelican and student populations upon activation of the broadcaster, with all subjects scoring 5 in both consistency and susceptibility. (Note: Significant aspects of results removed for security reasons. For full methods, request full paper through email at


Initial results of a small-scale mind control experiment suggest that modified diatoms are highly effective as mind control devices. With their ability to self-replicate, wide habitat range, and importance as one of the key organisms in the food chain, they should easily affect anyone and anything that can be affected by an ordinary Harmful Algal Bloom, which includes nearly everyone who lives on or near the coast and also nearly everyone who eats fish relatively high on the food chain. It is possible that further modification could result in easier control of modified diatoms, and a thorough knowledge of world currents would allow for easy dispersal, but much more testing should be done before there is any attempt to release a modified diatom strain into an uncontrolled environment to ensure that there will be no serious adverse effects on wildlife or human health.
Unfortunately for you, I am Mad and therefore have already completed the testing and further modifications using methods that cannot be published even in Mad-leaning scientific journals, mostly because they are rather difficult to convey in anything resembling a known language. My perfected diatoms are currently in waterways worldwide, and will grow or shrink in number, like ordinary HABs, depending largely on nutrient input. Their modified domoic acid will bioaccumulate in a wide variety and large numbers of sealife, as well as a fair amount of the world human population. I am effectively able to act on a wide variety of threats, from controlling the actions of every human who has eaten tuna withing the past three months to reenacting scenes from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds.
I need not explain, I am sure, how serious a problem anthropogenic excess nutrients and resulting HABs are today, but perhaps now certain political powers will feel just a little bit more motivated to actually do something about it.


Wisp, Aeolian. Sea breezes carry effects of toxic HABs inland. Miskatonic Journal of Ocean Sciences. Sept. 19; 42(1): 8-10.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 6:24 pm 
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...Dr. Geneve Beard, you win the internet. At least for the day. Maybe for the week!

We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:00 pm 
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And now...

Mad Sci High Shorts!


Student: *Raising his hand* Professor Revel? How would you define the word "Concise"?

Revel: That's an excellent question, child! I think it was the ancient Mayans who had a saying about this- *Closes his eyes to think*

*A few minutes later*

Revel: -And so with great influence and sufficient evocation, it should be clear to everyone that the Epicureans had a rather interesting viewpoint on the definition of words in general and the fluidity of how ideas combine to create meaning, and- *Opens his eyes to an empty classroom* Oh drat. They did it to me again!

-Drink Me?-

*David and Jane are in a Chemistry class, conducting an experiment.*

Jane: Oh, hey, I'm going to have to ask the professor about something. *Sets a vial of blue liquid on the labtable* While I'm gone, don't you drink this test tube!

David: *Raising an eyebrow* Why would I drink anything?

Jane: I dunno... you just seem the type. Anyway, don't touch it!

David: Whatever. *Watches as she walks off* Hmmph... like I'd drink a test tube of random colored liquid... even if I am curious about what it is... *Turns to glance at it* No!

Ellen: *In the background* So did you hear what Jane's project is?

Clara: No... what is it?

Ellen: She and David are apparently making some sort of blueberry softdrink! It sounds really yummy!

Clara: I wanna try some!

David: Mmm... blueberry... you know, it IS fizzing a bit... that's probably Jane's prototype... I wonder if... wait! I said I wouldn't! *He looks at it longingly* but... I'm soooo thirsty... and it's really warm out, and she probably wouldn't notice if I took a sip, and... gah, what am I thinking?!?

Test Tube: Daaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvviiiiid!

David: AUGH! *Dives under the table* Who... who said that?

Test Tube: It's me... the test tube. Look at me as I froth and bubble... just imagine how refreshing and smooth I'd taste... don't you want to drink me? I'd really appreciate it...

David: Yes! No! No... I mustn't give into temptation! Besides, Jane's my lab partner... she'll get angry!

Test Tube: Aw... but does all that really matter? Imagine how sweet I must taste... and if you don't drink me, you'll never know...

David: I want to... but... but...

Test Tube: I guess I shouldn't expect so much from a goody-two-shoes nancy boy.

David: *Blinking* What.

Test Tube: You heard me. You're a straighter edge than a ruler!

David: No one talks to me like that! I'll show you! *Chugs the contents in one gulf!* Ha! *Blinks* Ooo... I don't feel so good....

Jane: *A few moments later, she returns* What the-?

David: *With glowing blue eyes, facial tentacles sprouting out of his face, and snakes growing out of his shoulders* I'm notsh gonna lies ta'yas... I drunk the potionmajig!

Jane: Why? Why would you do something so stupid?!?

David: Wells... *Falls over, passed out.*

Jane: *Pulls out a large beaker filled with more of the blue fluid* Sweet! I can't believe that worked! Now let's see if I can get Chic to drink some and see what it does to her!


Tinker: *In Bed* I'm so awake... but I need to get some sleep... maybe I should count sheep? Let's see...

*A tiny gazebo jumps over his bed*

Tinker: One gazepup... two gazepups...

*A gazebo in a red suit jumps over, then one in a blue suit*

Tinker: gazepup, blue gazepup? *eyes wide* AUGH! I'VE BEEN TRANSPORTED TO THE HORRIBLE WORLD OF DR. SEUSS! *Hops out of bed and runs off, screaming*

We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:34 am 
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Wow, I haven't written any stories in a long time... at least, it feels that way...

Claire awoke to someone banging loudly on her door. Wha? She blinked sleepily. Grandpa had left a note on her bedside table. Huh?

Wait, that was TODAY?!

She threw herself out of bed, and dived out a window. It would probably take whoever it was a few more seconds to break down her door, but they'd follow soon.

Run, run, run- where to go, where to hide...

She didn't even have any weapons besides her wrench and a bunch of explosives!

She ran as quickly as she could, only to realize that a missile was closing in behind her. Eep!

Duck around a corner- it followed. Jump through the window, and it hit the side of the building- she could go out the back, maybe, and around the corner, hide in an attic until he passed by, double back...
No, wait. He was already in front of her.

“Miss Tabby, you are hereby-“

She jumped, managing to leap over him while brining her wrench down on his helmet. He wasn’t knocked out, but she had managed to temporarily stun him. She had to get away… She threw an explosive behind her, hitting him square in the chest as she started to run again.


"Miss Tabby, you are hereby notified that you are to report to central hall to serve your taxtime."

Claire sighed. 2 hours, 41 minutes. It wasn't BAD, but she'd been hoping to do better... Of course, she hadn't known that there would be titanium yarn here... She would just have to remember to avoid this place next time. And it was better than last year's 2 minutes. Of course, she didn't know who the TN guy WAS last year...

She tugged with her arm. She was still stuck. And the TN guy had just left her there. Sigh... Tug, tug, tug… maybe she could reach some explosives eventually? Or if she could struggle enough to initiate stress fractures…

~Even more time passes~

"Where were you for the last few days?"

"The TN guy caught me... and then I was stuck... The big warehouse has lots of titanium yarn, so be careful when it’s your turn."

"Did you remember to report to central hall?"

"...eep." Claire darted off as her Grandpa chuckled and continued his experiments.

~At Central Hall~

"Um, I'm here to report for my taxtime..."

"Miss Claire Tabby?" The man working behind the desk checked the records. "Four days, 21 hours, and 19 minutes. Hmm... that's quite a while..."

"I got stuck. There was yarn."

"Mm." It wasn’t like they even took reasonable excuses. He grinned. "Aha. I think I know just the thing for you."

~Back at home~

Claire nervously opened the door. This was going to be painful... At least they'd provided her with a neat orange suit.

"Mister Tabby, you are hereby-"


Claire was flung backward by the explosion, which somehow managed not to destroy the lab at all. Grandpa was probably far away by now... she ran after him. She didn’t have any good tranquilizers or anything… and she was almost out of explosives, and she was probably the only one on the planet who didn’t have a gun…

This would be a bit more difficult than she was used to. Grandpa would probably head around to the library, then up the tower, slide down…

She ran for the launch area. He wouldn’t leave the planet without her, and he’d get distracted by the explosions, so that was the last place he’d go. If she could catch him by surprise, she could… umm…

There he was! “Mister-Tabby-you-are-“ He whirled, tripped her, and set off yet another explosion.

By the time she had managed to climb out of the crater, he was gone. Gah! She’d get him eventually. They were nice explosions, though.

She got out a shiny tracker. Maybe if she could corner him, get his feet stuck in cement, pin his hands and arms, and speak really really quickly...

This is what happens when I read the entire Buck Godot archives in one sitting right before doing a whole bunch of mindless work. And I like the thought of Claire and her Grandpa being on New Hong Kong.

And now, just to be even sillier- Claire and the Winslow!

Claire: Hi!

Winslow: Hi!

Claire: Hi!

Winslow: Hi!

Claire: Hi!

Jennifer: ... *has a popsicle* I think we're gonna be here for a while.

"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Kaboom!" -Marvin the Martian

Spam Poison. I think.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 2:59 pm 
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"Wake up! WAKE UP, ALREADY!"
"" She blinks, disoriented. Confusion and the acrid smell of smoke and elecricity, lights flickering, and the noise...
She lifts her head, with a great effort, and then slumps again. Detached, she's barely aware of the curses, and being slung over his shoulder. She's out of it completely before he finishes strapping her in.

The next time she awakens, it's in a crowded, smelly craft, bobbing on the waves.
It hurts...easier to close her eyes. Random bits of conversation floating around her.
"We don't have the resources to coddle her! She's too badly hurt!"
"She's the engineer. We need her."
"To do what? The ship is down, probably scattered in chunks across the ocean floor. And you remember what the scans showed? It's horrifyingly primitive here!"
"All the more reason to keep her alive. And that's an order."
"Order? You're captain of nothing, now! And I say we-"
A scream is heard, echoing harshly in the enclosed space.
"Anyone else wish to challenge my authority? No? Good. Contact the other pods. We make for that island. Keep in close formation."
"...Some of them are damaged, Sir."
"I know. That's why we stay close-if one fails, we can divider the passengers among us."
Grumbling. "We're stretched as it is. These were never intended to hold so many!"
"Did I hear a complaint?"
"Good. We are landing among primitives, so we make the best show of force we can. NO one shoots, whatever the provocation. Clear? They'll learn respect soon enough, but we are not launching into a battle. Yet."
"Aw, captain, they're armed with swords and sticks! Energy weapons will seem like deadly magic to them, right?"
"And we'll make full use of that. But we are vastly outnumbered, and you will see all too soon that a hole made by a thrown stick can kill as surely as a hole made by a laser."
The engineer drifts off again, to the sound of his voice.
"...and even though we took those blasted pirates with us, we may find a few of them escaped as well. B'Lor's slippery enough..."

Daylight. A gentle breeze, soft cushions under her. She sits up, prompting the young girl seated beside her to gasp, and run for the door. There's an open window-no glass, just curtains and shutters to close against the elements. She's staring out the window, at an alien landscape, when a familiar voice is heard.
"About time you got up, Mo."
Turning, she frowns. "Don't call me that! N'wadd'a, I remember the long have I been out?"
"Long enough. The ship's history, we're stranded. The records were correct-the Progenitors were here. The natives are a particularly crippled varient, though."
The Progenitors. So far past, no records exist. Except the variety of humanoids seeded throughout the far flung reaches of space.
"Crippled? That girl looked normal enough, aside from her dress."
"Get used to that mode of dress-if we are to fit in, if we are to survive as a species, we must blend in. And...crippled they are. Oh, the intelligence is as good as ours. We can even interbreed. But, they are trapped in their forms."
"...You mean?" Horror crosses her face.
"They are born to their forms. Cannot change them in the slightest, even for healing. If one of them had sustained your wounds, it would have killed them outright." N'wadd'a tosses a thick folder onto her lap.
"Study, while you finish recuperating. And study fast, Morri of the Gan. Battle isn't hear yet, but it's coming, and I need my Engineer."
Slowly, she picks up the reports. "You said...if we are to survive as a species. The seed banks? Were they...destroyed?"
The Captain sighes. "Shielding the chamber was all we could do. If it survived intact-and it's theoretically possible-it will stay intact. But it's unaccessible to us."
She bows her head, briefly. So much lost...Any serious colony ship does not pack its hold full of passengers alone, even if they are in deep sleep and do not need to be coddled. More efficient to take basic genetic material. Enough to populate a planet. Grow as few or as many as the situation allows, once territory has been found.
" said we could-" she falters briefly over the word-"interbreed? What will our descendants be?"
"Dian thinks our genes are dominate enough to survive."
So, the ship's doctor survived, too! She smiles, but loses the smile as the captain continues.
" They won't all be like us, especially with the dilution of years, but...enough will be. Even if it sleeps in their dna, it will be there. Long range? We keep track of our descendants, as best we can. Teach them, even if the teachings will become garbled over the years. We'll have to concentrate on a few lines..." He frowns. "But that's long range planning. We will survive. Get up to speed-I'll send Dian in to check on you."
"Oh-" He turns casually, on his way out the door. "That rat bastard B'Lor survived, too. But it cost him an eye." He pulls aside a curtain, revealing her armored flight suit, skintight and gleaming deadly black.
She never thought she see it again. She's still staring, as he departs.
Timidly, a throat is cleared. The girl is back, with a bowl of soup. Morri nods, and applied herself to food and study.
She glances at her battlesuit, and smiles lazily. The servant girl shivers, suddenly uneasy. It's...
Like black wings passing overhead.

Approximately 1400 BC. And yes, shamefull liberties were taken with myth and history. Ha!

.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 6:45 pm 
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A brief explanation may be in order. I've read a lot of celtic-inspired fantasy. Evangiline Walton, Nancy Springer, L. Sprage de Camp, and a host of others drew from this well 60-80's.
But it's a mythology most aren't terribley familiar with.
So, a brief description of the myths I'm stealing borrowing from.
Irish mythology. The Tuatha De Danann were a legendary people with mysterious powers who landed in Ireland around 1400 B.C. or so. They fought for territory there, against the native Fomorians. Enemies were the Fir Bolg, a race described as giant-ish, or at least ogre-ish. The leader was Balor of the Evil Eye.
King of the Tuatha de Danann was Nuada of the Silver arm. In the first great battle, he lost his arm, and had to give up the kingship, as the king must be physically perfect. After his physician Dian Cecht made him an arm of silver, he regained his title.
The Morrigan is the Tuatha de Danann who is the goddess of battle, and is protrayed surrounded by ravens. Some versions have her as a triple goddess, a la the norns, but that's a variant I'm not using. Another legendary figure is Lugh of the long arm.(I know-what is it with these people and arms?)
The T. de D. are merely said to have come 'from the north'. They had four great treasures, that they brought with them from their four cities.
One of them was Nuada's sword.
There's a town in County Kildare, Ireland even now named Maynooth. In irish, the name is Maigh Nuada, or, the throne of Nuada.
Eventually, they were defeated/departed after many long years-some versions have them removing to fairy mounds.
None of this is needed to get any tales I'm writing.
Basically, I've hinted for forever that the Earth shapeshifters, the rare, hereditary varient that they are, have an extraterrestrial origin.
And I like the idea of their landing on Earth becoming the stuff of myth.
Now, as to how much of this is known and remembered.... :twisted:
I'm not saying.

.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente

Last edited by chicgeek on Mon Mar 01, 2010 6:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:00 pm 
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My name is David.

I am currently on assignment working undercover for the United States Military.

I'm currently trapped in a laboratory that has less than 6 minutes left before a self-destruct sequence finishes, killing anything left inside.

The only things I've got on me are a nonfunctional robot arm strapped to my shoulder, a pistol, and whatever I can find in the labs around me.

And there's just one thing going through my head:

They totally lied to me when they said this didn't involve mad science.

The Writer known as Zobot presents...

David Toboz and the Cataclysm Engine

A classic Mad Sci Wars story in the style of an Indiana Jones movie.

Coming soon to the interwebs nearest you.

We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:34 pm 
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David Toboz and the Cataclysm Engine


David looked up from his desk. "Oh! Hello! It's nice to meet you, sir...?"

The man in front of him was wearing a large blue suit with several medals pinned to it. "Mister Toboz, aren't you the slightest bit concerned that I just walked into your bedroom unannounced?"

David tilted his head and looked confused. "...SHOULD I be? You're not trying to kill me or anything... or at least you're not holding a smoking heat ray, and that's better than my last unannounced guest..."

The man folded his arms behind his desk. "Regardless, Mister Toboz... My name is Lieutenant Anthony Hicks with the United States Military Intelligence, Anti-Terrorism Division. You're a hard man to meet, Mr. Toboz."

David's response was to raise his left eyebrow, his lips bending downward into a slight frown. "I... am?" His tone was blank, his face surprised. "I can't imagine why..."

Lt. Hicks scowled. "It might be because of the sentient stone warship you live in and it's opinions on allowing people to roam its trap-riddled halls." He dusted a few pebbles off of the shoulder of his uniform. "Incidentally, the south wing of your lair will have to be repaired. There are several explosions that were set off, and a number off little rock devices were broken in the... confusion."

David reclined in his seat, resting his feet on the desk. "So what do you want with me?"

Lt. Hicks paused. "We have a mutually beneficial deal to propose." He looked around. "May I take a seat?"

David looked around. "Um, sure!"

Lt. Hicks looked around, not noticing any other chairs in the room. He began to speak, than saw David looking at him expectantly. Feeling a bit put-upon, he frowned and then, awkwardly, took a seat on the floor, looking up at David. "Recently, we have been following the activities of a small cell of political extremists named S.N.U.G.G.L.E.K.I.N.S. We have discovered-"

David paused. "What does the acronym stand for?"

Lt. Hicks frowned and took command of the conversation again. "Trust me, you don't want to know. It's very disturbing. Regardless, allow me to continue." He regained his composure. "We've recently learned from our sources that they are developing a new weapon of war. Intelligence on the subject is limited, but from what we know, it's some sort of Superweapon, of the class 4 variety." He took a breath. "It's a Weapon of Mass Destruction on a level comparable to an enormous bomb.”

David's eyes widened. “They've built a bomb?!?”

Lt. Hicks shook his head. “No, no... it's LIKE a bomb. In terms of destructive potential.”

David raised an eyebrow. “So what DID they build?”
Lt. Hicks rubbed his back. “Ah... we don't actually KNOW... our intelligence efforts report that it's really, really destructive, though.”

David looked at him. “That's... really vague.”

The military man nodded. “I know. That's part of the reason we need a Mad Scientist. We don't know WHAT we're up against here... information about the Cataclysm Engine is just locked up too tight, and we don't reliably know what sort of technology or weaponry we're up against. We need someone who can be exceedingly flexible when it comes to technology. Someone who can just... know... what they're dealing with just by looking at it, without too much time for analysis. A mad scientist isn't the idea person for the job, but they best fit the bill.” He looked up at David. “Your country needs you, kid.”

“I don't quite understand.” David looked down at him. “Why not just ask M for help? They're government peoples, like you, and they do mad sciencey stuff... I don't understand.”

Lt. Hicks paused. “Ah... well... because, uh, it doesn't really involve Mad Science. We can't use M's resources on something that isn't relevant to it's purpose; it would be a waste of taxpayer money.”

David looked at him. “But... it involves some sort of unidentified technology that's you somehow know is rampantly destructive. Isn't that Mad Science?”

Lt. Hicks raised his finger, wagging it at David. “NO, it'd be Mad Science if it involved a lot of cackling, and technology that wasn't plausible yet. And maybe more lightning. We don't know if there's any lightning involved with this yet.”

David paused. “But... it COULD be Mad Sciency, couldn't it? We don't know enough about it.”

Lt. Hicks shook his head. “No, no... we're fairly sure it isn't.”

“But... you don't KNOW anything specific.”

“Yes, that's true.”

“But you know it doesn't involve Mad Science.”

“Yes, we're quite sure.”


“That information is classified.”


“So can we count on your help?”

David turned his head away and put an arm on his desk. “I don't know...”

“We can make it worth your while.” Lt. Hicks stood up and spun David's spinny chair back to lock the two of them into a stare.

David looked back. “I don't hero-for-dollars.”

Lt. Hicks smirked. “We weren't thinking of paying you in money... tell me... did you know all the things that a man named “Professor Zobot” did?”

David blinked. “W...what?”

Lt. Hicks stepped back a bit to give David and himself some space. “The self-proclaimed Professor Zobot was a Mad Scientist who committed a large amount of crimes. He did a lot of bad things to a large number of people... mostly while trying to take some sort of vengeance on his brother, but still.”

David raised an eyebrow. “I'm... look, I'm not Zobot!”

Lt. Hicks nodded. “I'm aware of that. I'm not trying to threaten you. Legally, there has been a division between the man 'Professor Zobot' and yourself. However, that being said, he also left behind a lot of valuable things. Things which were seized by the government, and are currently being held under study. These are things that... less scrupulous factions in the military want to adopt, to weaponize . But if Zobot were to receive a presidential pardon for all his aforementioned crimes, legally there is nothing that could be done with them except turn them over to him, since none of them violate any “illegal weaponry” laws CURRENTLY on the books. If you were to claim status as Zobot or his heir, and received legal backing on it, you would be in the sole position to keep this equipment from falling into the wrong hands. Lives could be saved, Mr. Toboz. We could see our way to making all this happen for you... what do you say?”

“...” David paused, closing his eyes. “...ok, I'll do it. But just tell me one thing, will you?”

“Anything I can.”

“You're absolutely SURE this doesn't involve Mad Science, right?”

“Yes. Quite sure.”

“Because, you know, the way you described it, it kinda sounds like-”

“It doesn't involve Mad Science!”

“So you're sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure!”

“Really, really, really sure?”


End Prologue

We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:35 am 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist

Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:40 pm
Posts: 473
Chic has at least shown interest in this so here it is. Basically there were more flashes of memory for Hawk and Miss Clay and I only wrote a small fraction of it. So here is some more. And unlike the main post, don't expect them to be in chronological order. Maybe the history is not quite accurate but what these people went through, was real enough.

What was past, forms the present, what is present, interprets the past. When both is combined, a path to the future is shown. The only certainly, is time marches forward. Whether you hop around or go with the flow, time ALWAYS move forward.

==Miss Clay==

She was Victoria, a southern belle married to a plantation owner. She sat on her chair on the porch, looking out at the fields, being tended by the slaves. They worked hard, never complained and the best part is, they where completely loyal to her and her alone. While her husband thinks he is in command, he is really just second in command. He bought the slaves, she secretly brain washed them and made them complete slaves. Now if only she can keep the dang Yanks from winning the war...

She was Marry, an Englishwoman during the industrial revolution in London. She was walking the streets by herself, trying to get home. She have heard reports of murders of woman at night and was not anxious to be next. A strong arm came from out of the darkness and clamped over her mouth, dragging her deeper into the darkness. Her initial scream was muffled by the dirty hand and she heard a man chuckle. She reached for her necklace and held it tight. Suddenly the air was filled with electrical energy, shocking the man. He spasmed and collapsed to the ground, twitching. She took off running for home, glad one of her husband's mad device actually worked...

She was in France as Julie during the cold war. "But papa, I don't get it. Why are the Americans are after you?" She was only 10 years of age and her father was rushing around the house, packing. He stopped and knelled down next to her. "Julie, they want my inventions. I know too much. And what the Americans want, the Americans will get." It didn't make since to her, when did nuclear powered portable generators be of interest to the Americans? Didn't everyone had one?...

She was Sandra, in Salem. She was accused of being a witch and proof was needed either way. She was a witch but not in the same way they think. For she found ways to make things work... differently then they should have. Plants don't eat animals but yet she found a way to make them. Dead wood do not normally turn to lead but she found a way to do so. Now she was in jail, waiting to be put to the test tomorrow. Good thing for her some of her plant creations was coming to rescue her...

She was Francine in the United States during the 70's. "Please Thomas, no more. I can't take it anymore." Her brother, Thomas, held a hypodermic needle in his hand, filled with a sickly green fluid. She curled her young 16 year old body on the ground. "No more, please no more." She whimpered. Ever since the war had cracked Thomas's mind, he have been experimenting different kind of drugs on his sister. No was around to stop him since the parents had died in a car accident only a year ago. He grinned and without remorse, injected his sister with the drug...

She tilted her tired head from the desk, straining to see Hawk in front of her. ~Ugh~ she thought. ~I stayed up way too late again working on that silverfic decelerator again~ She joined up with Hawk and his other partner as a 3 way partnership. She slumped her head on the desk again, trying to push away the mad thoughts in her head and tried to sleep. Life was much simpler before she became a mad...

She moved her mechanical body through the shop, trying her hardest not to bump into things. Her metallic body was still new to her and she was still clumsy. Ever since that accident that destroyed her body and Hawk transferred her mind into a robot (Obviously there was a small loophole in the contract he exploited), life have been interesting for her to say the least. She is legally dead and her family believes so too. Much easier to believe she was dead then becoming a metal monster. Maybe this will all clear up once they figure out how to reconstitute her old body...

All choices have a ripple effect. Not only forward but backward and even crossing other dimensions.


He was Stefan in Germany during WW2 on a secret project. "Gentlemen, I Believe we have something here." He faced his small team of scientists. Officially they didn't exist. The team have labored hard to create a new secret weapon that will turn back the Russians from advancing unto Berlin. Now they may have something. A sonic cannon, capable of being mounted on a tank chassis and able to punch through even the hardest of armor. "Lets have a drink to celebrate our creation then." He poured a coup of wine for everyone on the team and handed them out. He smiled as he watched everyone took a sip, while avoiding touching the drink himself. He had no attention of handing his invention to the German high command. They have already lost. Why should he go down with them. No. He was going to take it and build his own army...

He was his Father again. He was consulting the doctor about his young son, hawk. "What do you suggest then? An asylum for kids?" The doctor looked over his notes again. "His brain is chemically unbalanced. He picked up a rare gene from somewhere that laid dormant all this time and now just became active. He won't be able to function in normal society on his own. But I think I can help. If I run a few more tests, I believe I can custom tailor a drug that should rebalance your sons mind." He looked worried. "Anything you can do to help my son Dr. Taylor...

Hawk was Jason, a coal miner in the late 60's. He was popular among his college for all the safety equipment he helped developed and produce for his fellow coal miners. and improved face mask that converted bad air into breathable air, a coal antagonizer to help break up coal without the risk of setting it on fire, improved support beams that has stopped any sort of cave-ins. Although his strange grin and his occasional mad crackling makes them a little uneasy...

The grains of time cannot be touched by mortal or immortal hands. What makes you think you are any different? You cannot tell what time to do. All you can do is work within time.

Would have been more for Hawk but since I did this so late, kinda got too tired to finish. Next time.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:04 am 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:40 pm
Posts: 473
A family by any other name

A typical day at the Clay household on a Saturday. Moses woke up first and his running around the house soon woke up the rest of the house at 7 in the morning. Jacob and Anna stayed in bed as long as they dared but got up in defeat soon afterward. The T.V. was turned on and Moses sat watching cartoons while munching on a bowl of cereal. Beth sat down next to him with her own bowl of Cereal. She tugged on his sleeve to get his attention and signed to him "I wanna watch Cartoon network. They have some good cartoons on right now." Moses picked up the remote and changed the the channel.

Frank leaned over the couch from behind and whispered. "You know they hired trained Chinese Monkeys to draw these cartoons? They are cheaper then regular humans and do the work half the time. Moses looked at Frank with a confused look. "I thought they were using those monkeys to work at the mines?"

"those are different trained monkeys." He straightened up and walked over to the kitchen to get his own bowl. Marison followed suit, still in her Pink Pajamas with matching slippers. "You should like stop telling them such stories Frank. They are like easily manipulated at their age you know. And can you like not eat all the cheerios this time? Mom wants to like have food in this house for more then a day."

"Not all of those are just stories Marison. There are many secrets in this world that needs to be exposed. And why do you even wear that thing?" Frank pointed at Marison's Pajamas. She huffed. "Like what is wrong with I am wearing? You wear like the same shirt for five days straight! You sleep in your clothes! That is like so disgusting you know." She made a face. Frank turned back to his bowl and finished pouring his cereal and milk. "Not my fault I want to be ready just in case we get invaded in the middle of the night."

Meanwhile Urza have woken up to the blaring sound of the Tv. She checked the time and was not surprised to see it being around 8;15 in the morning. Sleeping past that time has proven an impossible feat around this house. She sat up and navigated her cramped room to her dresser and grabbed a fresh set of clothes. She stuck her head out in the hallway. Down one end of the hall was the only bathroom in the house. The other end of the hallway lead to the living room and the kitchen. She listened and determined all of her siblings were grabbing food first. Good. That means she can be first to take a shower. She tippy-toed towards the bathroom. She extended her hand to the door when the sound of running water can be heard from the other side of the door. ~Must be dad~ She thought with some gloom. She decided to wait for her turn by the door while her stomach complained.

Anna in the mean time went to her computer to check on her online company. She usually let the kids have the run of the house for an hour or so in the morning unless they do something way out of line. This allowed herself to compose herself to face the day. She loved her children dearly and spends as much time as she can with them. That is why she worked from home. But even loving mothers need some personal time and space.

She looked through her doorway to see her oldest child waiting by the bathroom door while Jacob took his shower. It was amazing really. Urza seemed to have little patience with anyone older then her. Anna can see even from here how impatient Urza was getting waiting for her father to be done. Although ever since moving a city she never heard of before, Xyon wasn't it? Ever since Urza moved there to go to college, she seemed to have a greater reign on her temper and exercised greater patience.

Moses was getting hyper on cartoons and the sugar rush he was getting. He had pour extra sugar in his bowl despite being told not to. He started to fidget and started to poke Beth. Beth in response poked back. This instigated a poking war between the two with reckless abandon. Beth, being ticklish, began to laugh silently at the poking and spilled her bowl all over the couch. This did not slow the pair down for neither have even noticed until Marison came over. She quickly broke up the poking fest and made both of them clean up the mess.

A shower and a bowl of cereal later, Urza felt much more refreshed. She sat down on the couch and noticed the still damp spot on the couch where a bowl of cereal and milk was spilled. She raised her eyebrows but did not pursue any further. It would explain why Beth and Moses were not meeting her gaze.

Later on the day Anna came out of the room and noticed the state of disarray the house is in. She clapped her hand and announced to all of her children who were on the couch watching tv. "Alright boys and girls time for the weekly cleanup!" Urza and Frank, I want you to get the living room. Marison I want you to get the kitchen. Beth, Moses, I want you two to pick up your toys and clean the floor once Urza and Frank is done." All the floors in the house was faux hardwood. The carpets removed long ago due to the abuse the children was doing to it.At least the hardwood was easier to replace and clean.

There was some grumbling as they all slowly got up, turned off the tv and started cleaning. That is until Urza turned on the 14 disc cd changer. Each family member placed two of their favorite music albums in that thing for just an occasion. Setting it on random and repeat, Urza cranked up the Volume so the rhythm can fill the house. Musical choice from easy Jazz, Rock and roll, Disney songs, country, Celtic music, etc etc etc.

For 3 hours, The Clays cleaned up the house, every part of it including their own room. The washing machine and the dryer worked for longer. For lunch Jacob cooked up mac and cheese with a side of salad. The table was only meant for 4 people but all 6 Clay's managed to squeeze themselves in. Money was not the issue about getting a new table but there was not enough space. The Living room doubled as a dinning room. Frank was pondering something and asked Urza. "You know, I have heard there are many crazy things about that city of Xyon. Did you know The lost city of Atlantis is actually buried underneath it? Also it is the headquarters of the Sasquatch Militia."

Urza commented "I have not seen any Sasquatches when I was there." Frank pointed his fork at Urza 'That is because they are in disguise. Incognito. You never know one even you walk past them on the street." Anna butted in. "Frank, no pointing at the table. You will poke an eye out like that." Urza concentrated on her meal, deciding not to comment to Frank about just a fraction of what she has seen there. The conversation moved to the news about the recent fire in the business district.

Moses, feeling a little bored, carefully sneaked his fork over to Marison's plate and stole some noodles right under her nose. He has had a lot of practice being sneaky. Nobody at the table noticed. So he tried for his father's plate. When his fork crossed the threshold of Jacob's plate, Jacob said "I give you 8 points for getting this far 5 for originality and 2 points for approach." Moses, quickly stuck his fork into one of Jacob's noodle and quickly retreated his fork.

After lunch Beth asked Urza to play dolls with her. Urza agreed and played dolls with Beth in Beth's room. They switched to girl talk sign language so not to bored the boys. Moses tugged on Frank's sleeve to play with him outside. Marison grabbed a foam football and followed suit. The house was small and so was the lot it self. Fortunately the cal va sac was usually car free for the most part. It helped the house was at the end of the dead in street. The football toss eventually transformed into a game of tag and into a wrestling match between Frank and Moses with Marison being the referee.

The trio came into the house some time later, tired and worn out. At least Frank and Marison was worn out. Jacob, who was watching tv relaxing, found himself surrounded by three tired and sweaty children. He sent all of them to their room to change and clean up. "You all stink sweaty! I don't want you ruining the couch any more then it is. I am surprised it lasted THIS long with you little monsters running around."

After Frank and Moses got cleaned up, Frank pulled Moses off to one side and signed to him in brotherhood. "I got an idea, how about we ambush Urza. I will lure her out and you will pounce on her ok." Moses nodded with excitement. Frank poked his head in Beth's room and found Urza helping Beth dress one of her dolls. "Hey Urza, I need your help with something." Urza looked up and got up. "What you need help with?" She asked. Frank motioned with his head to the side. "here let me show you." He walked out of sight, the opposite side Moses was waiting. Urza followed after Frank only to to feel a weight land on her back. Get gave out an oof and stumbled a bit. She reached to one side and grabbed one of Moses's leg and tugged with little success.

Frank turned around and gave Urza a big bear hug, picking her up along with Moses who was still clinging to her back. Urza gave out a small shriek before she realized what was going on. "Hey no fair! No double teaming!" Moses got off as Frank carried Urza to her room and flung her unto a bed, laughing. "Oh I see how it is" Said Urza. She grabbed her pillow and threw it at Frank, hitting him in the head. Before Frank can recover, Urza grabbed another pillow and smacked him, forcing Frank to retreat from her room. She closed the door and gave out a small huff. "Boys." She smiled and shook her head and decided to work on some homework for a while. THEN she will get revenge on Frank.

Frank was not done, after he was chased from Urza's room, He stomped into Beth's room, pretending to be a great monster. Beth gave a small squeak and tried to get past Frank. Frank gave a mighty roar (not too loud) and picked up Beth and swung her upside down. Beth giggled silently and held on as Frank carried her around the house a bit upside down before depositing her on the couch. Jacob chuckled himself. What he would give for a full day of silence. With that thought in mind, He grabbed Beth and tickled her, making her squirm under his hands and silently laughing.

Anna called out that dinner was done. The family trickled from where they were to the table to see pork chops, mashed potatoes and green peas. After saying prayers, the family enjoyed themselves on the meal. Multiple conversations was going on mostly about this and that. After dinner, Jacob took away the dishes as the family settled on the couch and put in a movie. Saturday was always movie night. This time it was Madagascar 2. AT the end of the movie, Marison and Urza took the sleeping forms of Moses and Beth to their respective rooms. The rest of the family sat on the couch talking until one by one each said goodnight and went to bed, Urza being the last to go.

As she drifted off to sleep, Urza was glad for her family and thankful that she can spend some time with them on this day. In a couple of days she needs to go back so not to miss any classes or work. She could not imagine having any other kind of family she has now and still be this happy. One day she planned to have a good family as her own...

Last edited by Hawkwolf on Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:20 pm 
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
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Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:30 am
Posts: 4538
Location: Burnsville
David Toboz and the Cataclysm Engine

Part 1: A falling conversation.

David woke up to the sound of helicopter wings beating through the air, and the cold breeze slapping against his face. He opened his eyes to find himself staring at clouds. "Wha-AAAAAH!" Two arms behind him shoved him out of the moving craft. He felt his body shift and gravity take control, as he started plunging downward, through a cloud, and into a sea of endless blue sky.

His point of view gradually shifted, as he gazed down at a large island that was growing larger to his eyes as he plunged towards it. Tropical trees dotted the scenery, but the island itself was dominated by a large volcano, and what looked to be several buildings crafted along it's side. He would have panicked had he been any other person in these circumstances, but he had fallen out of the sky so many times he'd practically made a second career out of it. Panic wouldn't help him survive the agonizingly painful yet disturbingly short moment of impact, so he just didn't. Then, he heard a voice buzzing in his ear.

Boss? Hello? Can you hear me? Reach into your backpack and pull on the cloth cord?

David raised an eyebrow and was about to ask why Sarcastic was talking to him during freefall, and how, but decided it might be wiser to do as she said first. He reached up into the backpack strapped to his body, and yanked on the very first cord-ish thing he found. The top of the backpack exploded in white cloth, and he found something pulling up on him. He looked up to see a large white cloth spread out above him, attacked to him by several ropes. “Huh.” He was probably less scared about all this than he should be.

Great! Sensors report that your downward velocity is reducing! Now find the headset-like thingy and put it over your ears, and pull the microphone attachment over your mouth.

Deciding that he really had no reason NOT to, David did so.

Ok! We can talk now! Go ahead, say something!

“Sarcastic, why did I just fall out of a helicopter? And why are you-”

-Sorry to interrupt, boss, but you have to call me by my codename from now on, just in case this line is compromised. I'm “Pentakon”, ok? Anyway, I'm talking to you because those government guys you agreed to work with decided you'd respond better to an operations commander who you knew, so they asked me to do it. I have a whole team of scientists and engineers in my dorm, and it's kinda weird... at least they're giving me this awesome new computer, and-



“...Pentakon, why did I just fall out of a helicopter?”

Well, er... it was kinda a joke... when you went to bed after the mission briefing, they thought it'd be funny to just toss you into the mission.... apparently it's kinda a tradition to haze the new guy like that with these guys. They're kinda like a super secret black op frat or something.
“A joke?”




“I'm not sure I got it.”

Generally the people on your ends of pranks like that don't, Mongoose.

“...did you just call me Mongoose?”

Oh yeah! I forgot about that! That's your codename for this mission: Gaseous Mongoose!

“Um... can I have a different codename? Please? This one makes me sound like an animal with flatulence issues.”

Aw... but it's a humorous homage to the Metal Gear games! Solid Snake, Liquid Snake... the only unused state of matter was Gas, so all of us at Central command thought-

“Fine, whatever! I'll be a stinky animal! I don't really care... grr... is it 'pick on David' Day?"

"Hey, considering how silly this group is, I'm kinda surprised they didn't replace your parachute with an alligator, Mongoose."

David sighed. "If they could have found one, they probably would have. Anyway, I kinda need to stop talking. I'm landing soon...”

Ok! I'll be monitoring you via the chip in your suit, so don't hesitate to call in if you need advice!

End Part 1

We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun

Last edited by Zobot257 on Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:57 pm 
Mad Scientist Unbelievable
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Location: my own little world
A few years have passed since the Tuatha de Daanan's forced landing. The native Formorians have been fought, made treaties with, fought again-but cannot triumph over N'waa'da, and his second in command, Morri of the Gan. She stalks behind him now, in her black battle suit. This battle will prove decisive. De Daanan and Formorian alike are united to fight the remnants of the Fir Bolg. There aren't that many of the pirates left, but the Fir Bolg are fearsome. Their captain especially is held in supersitious dread by the populace. He lost an eye in the fight that stranded both Tuatha de Daanan and Fir Bolg on this primitive world. And promptly replaced it with a laser. It's rumored the pain has driven him past depravity and into madness. The natives whisper in dread of B'Lor of the Evil Eye.
First Engineer Morri isn't above using superstition herself. So simple to tweak the broadcast frequency built into her suit, to attract the carrion birds known as ravens to follow her into battle. Whispers follow her..."it's The Morrigan...the morrigan...."
She smiles grimly. Whatever it takes.
And ducks inside the largest tent to give her report.

"N'waa'da? Did you know Ceri's pregnant?"
"Good. The sooner we start having children, the better." He absently glances over the latest dispatches, and sets them aside.
Morri sighes.
"Why such a sigh, Engineer? Aren't you happy for your sister?"
"Oh, I wish her well. It's just...brought it home, I think. Our children here, they'll not believe a word, however they're taught. Growing up here, how can they? And the ship is beyond my reach. Not escaping would be bearable, if we only had access. The computers, the seed banks...we could populate this world, if only-"
"Enough!" N'waa'da stretches, shifting taller, then cups her chin, gently. "Thanks to you, we have the location roughly pinpointed. Thanks to you, we have enough working tech to survive, to gain a foothold. If the details are mixed with legend, become myth-so be it. We survive. We establish a tight clan structure. The very fact that our children shapeshift will be enough to convince them to stick together in this place, even if they forget where we came from."
"Until we die out. Enough years go by, the genetics will get more and more diluted. And they lose even that." Morri's mood is as black as her battle suit.
"That will take hundreds, perhaps thousands, of years. Even so-we have won, Morri! We survive, in whatever form." He grins, and flexes his right arm, covered with gleaming silver from fingertip to shoulder, the last working piece salvaged from his own armor.
"Already we are legend! You know what they call us. Nuada of the Siver Arm, King of the Tuatha de Daanan! The Morrigan, Goddess of death and battle! If that's the immortality we're offered, then I accept! Let tomorrow's children fight tomorrow's battles. We have our own to fight. Now, Engineer, let's go and wipe out those Fir Bolg bastards to the last man, so our desendants can survive, in whatever form they may."

Years later-
"And it came to pass that Nuada lost his arm, and his kingship, for a king must be physically perfect. But his royal physician, Dian Cecht, made him a new arm, all of silver, and he reclaimed the kingship from Bres. Bres, in turn, joined forces with the giant Balor, and Lugh of the Long arm joined Nuada's court. Indeed, Nuada stood down in Lugh's favor, and when Nuada was killed by Balor, Lugh avenged him. All the Fir Bolg were destroyed, and the Tuatha de Daanan ruled many long years."
The teacher pauses, and his gaze is drawn unerring to the boy staring out the window.
"Sean! List the four treasures the Tuatha de Daanan brought with them from the north."
The boy's attention is rudely drawn away from the tantalizing sounds of the outdoors. Other boys are fishing today, and he's stuck in here, listening to fairy tales! He swallows his disappointment, and racks his brain. It doesn't do to upset the teacher, as they've found to their dismay.
"The four treasures. Gorian, the spear of Lugh." What he could do with a mystical spear! What were the others? Think, think. "Muirias, the cauldron. Falias, the stone of Fal." Bah. What use are a magical pot, or stone? "And Findias, Nuada's sword." Oh, even better! Now, a magical sword makes sense!
"Acceptable, if slow. You shouldn't have had to think about it."

A few years later still-
"What do you mean I have to marry Ceri!"
"It's been decided, so you might as well hush your arguring. It's for the good of the clan."
"That's ridiculous! Her father isn't important, or weathy! She's not even the prettiest, so why her?"
"She's comely enough. And she's a Gannager, which is reason enough. That's a bloodline that needs to be carried on."
"That old fairy tale!"
His father scowls, and shifts into a threatening form. "Is this a fairy tale, boyo?"
"And have you achieved it yet?"
"...You know I haven't."
"You will. Or, marry her, and at least your children will. You know the rules, lad. The clan above all. Hide in plain sight, survive."
"Da? What if I don't achieve it?" Sean voices his secret fear.
His father sighes, and shifts back to his usual form.
"That's as the gods will. You still carry the blood. You're still family.Needed to protect, and teach. It'll be all right, son. Now, Ceri's in the north field. Why don't you go walk her home?"
"...Yes, Da."

A young girl is to be burned as a witch. She shifts form, to resemble one of the jailors, and flees.
A holy hermit, in his cave, meditates on the the ancient writings in his care.
A group, cloaked and hooded, meet clandistinely in a cave. Decisions are made, and carried out.
A hole is swiftly dug, treasure dumped within. Rocks and brush replaced carefully, to hide the spot from the invaders. Someday, they'll come back to reclaim it, they think. Doesn't happen.
A location, couched in story, in rhyme, degenerates to a bit of childish doggerel. But it sticks, and is passed on.

The world turns.
A modern day executive peers over his latest stack of reports. He hasn't found the needle, but they're closing in on the haystack...

.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:56 pm 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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A study in spacial timing and the relationship between a pair of cowboys in the old west during meal time after a hard long drive (Or in other words, What's for dinner bub)


Wan' some beans?

naw, trin' to loose weight heera


Wan' some jerky?


You go' any of 'em gizzard stew?

fresh out 'm 'uh fraid

Wan some bug pie?



Heera go

mighty kind of you par'ner"

Last edited by Hawkwolf on Mon Mar 29, 2010 11:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 4:53 pm 
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David Toboz and the Cataclysm Engine

Part 2: Ominous Thunder

"Now then, Mongoose, remember that you're going to have to sneak into the base without being seen, if possible. It might be wisest to try and take out a perimeter guard and steal their uniform so you can move about unnoticed."

David raised an eyebrow. "S- er, I mean, Pentakon, what are you talking about? I already kinda did that."

"Wait, what? But my instruments... I mean..."

David pulled the guard's pants up his legs. "You're not very GOOD at using this spy-tech stuff they gave you, are you?"

"Hey, first day on the job. Gimme a break!"

David sighed. "Look, I appreciate the effort, I really do, but if you're not experienced with the surveillance technology, it might be best for me to just go it alone...." David donned the turquoise perimeter guard's coat and slid his well-maintained rifle behind his back, after making sure the safety was on. "I mean, it's not like there's much you can do other than talk, is there?"

"Don't worry, Mongoose! I'll be paying close attention to- oooh! The tech guys have a lan game of Quake 4 going!"

David sighed and rolled his eyes. "Anyways, I think I can handle myself...”

He put on the official perimeter guard's hat and began to head towards the complex he'd seen while falling from the sky. The trip was short and uneventful, but he finally crossed towards a large security waypoint. There was a large chain fence built around the facility, the tops covered with barbed wire. As near as he could tell, the waypoint, which consisted of a small shack sitting on the side of a dirt road, with a wooden bar lowered along the road to prohibit entry. Not exactly ideal security (except for the guards with guns David could see stationed there) but it seemed like a standard issue precaution at most secure facilities, and this evil organization seemed to adhere to convention just as much as the next militaristic terrorist organization.

David approached, and found himself facing down the discerning glowers of two other guards: one standing in the guard shack, and the other one approaching him with a rifle in his hands.

A guard with a label reading “Hello! My name is Petey!” pointed a gun at him. “Halt! Who goes there?”

David froze. “Huh? Oh, I'm just a perimeter guard! You know, just guarding it up... I'm coming back for my break, so...”

The guard narrowed his eyes. “I've never seen you around before... what is your name?”

“What is your quest?”
“Um, are you sure we're not slipping into a movie sketch?”
“Oh yeah... regardless! What proof do you have that you're a guard?”
“I'm wearing the official uniform? And I have a gun? And I'm definitely a guard?” David's face was incredulous.
“Pierre had a mustache and an elongated nose. How come your face is so different?”
“I was... attacked by a feral band of plastic surgeons and barely escaped after being horribly experimented on?”

The guard in the security station nodded. “He's got you there, Petey! Ever since a few of them escaped and formed their own tribe on the other side of the island, we've had trouble with that sort. Remember when Fred came back after being missing for a few hours and we had to order the Woman's uniform for him?”

Petey the guard paused. “Oh... yeah... forgot about that. Enter, perimeter guard!”

David started walking in, highly confused. “Wait... that doesn't make sense... that excuse was definitely too flimsy to make sense by itself... what's going on here? Also, ew!”

We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun

Last edited by Zobot257 on Wed Mar 31, 2010 4:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 10:19 am 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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Location: Washington
~Several years Ago~

Herr woke up, alone in the large barracks. He knew the only reason for waking up like that. He slowly got into his uniform and walked to the room that served as base headquarters. He looked around himself, taking in the unkempt grounds and the ruined buildings. He snorted. This used to be Fort Knox. Some impenetrable fortress. God I hate this timeline. North America is dust, Europe has such corrupt government that its not even worth going there unless you take a stack of cash. I just want to be home. I don't really have one anymore, though. They've made sure of that. He scoffed and kept walking, finally ending up at a door recessed into the side of one of the ruined buildings. He opened it and walked down the staircase, into a well lit hallway. He continued down the hall, and entered the room at the end of the hall.

Herr saluted sharply to a shadowy figure seated behind a desk. The desk was covered in scorch marks, but there were no holes and the burns lent it a rugged character. An arm shrouded in shadow waved at him, and Herr released the salute. The shadowy figure passed a folder across the table, and Herr opened it. He read through, and nodded. “Alright. I understand.” He saluted once again and returned to the hallway.

He walked into a room just off of the main hallway that was large, larger than most of the area above. Herr stepped inside a tube and pressed some buttons on a keypad. He felt distant, and then he fell to the floor of the tube, unconscious.

~Several universal sets away~
Herr appeared in an alley, wearing clothes different from the norm on the streets and those he'd been wearing not a moment before in the base. His hair was different, too. It was jet black. He smiled and set off down the street. He stopped, as if considering some forgetting fact. He walked towards one of Xyon's universities, moving with a purpose. He walked inside, all the time looking like a jaded student. He stopped in front of one classroom and stepped inside. He watched the professor and remembered the file.


-Mission Objective-
Neutralize the target and capture Tyranus particles for further study and application.

-Mission Intelligence-
Your target is Andrew Tinker. In this universe, he has yet to discover his powers. This universe is set 45 omega units in the past from ours. You will have 5 days at the most before a catastrophic realization of potential. The earlier the particles are removed, the better.


The Shadow-Herr looked back up at the seat, where this strange meek version of Tinker was bumbling around. So unlike the rest of them. Interesting, it was almost as if this close yet this far from the zero universe, only small things were changed. Meek instead of confident. He shrugged. A body was a body. He looked inside himself and drew upon a well of energy. He snarled and threw a ball of it at the professor. The energy came out as a ball of blackness, and it engulfed the man. Andrew's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed. A look that almost equated sadness crossed The Shadow's face, but it was gone as soon as it had come. As the students left screaming, The Shadow walked up and looked through the dead man's jacket. He found a small notebook, that all versions of Andrew seemed to possess and he sniffed it, like he was testing the scent of a particularly delectable gourmet dish. He smiled and pocketed the book. He let out a bark of laughter. “Mission completed.” He then faded away, like he was never there. Shortly after, another Herr, this one clad entirely in white and gray, came into the room. There was a blue sheen to his eyes. He leaned down to Andrew's side and left a small pad of paper that read only, "I'm sorry." He stood and walked away. Having exercised what little power he had without the shadow, he winked out of existence in the hallway.

Rumors of my death are probably true. I make a very clean looking zombie.

Last edited by Herr Doktor on Wed Apr 07, 2010 11:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:03 pm 
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Location: Xyon City
I seem to recall an ad for a product known as My First Wire!™ some time ago.
It gave me an idea.

A(nother) Television Ad

A little girl sits in her bedroom, at a low table. She's having a tea party with her stuffed animals. One seat is occupied by her teddy bear. For a few seconds, the camera focuses on the tableau. It seems as if this scene will never end.

It does. The door bursts open (accompanied by dramatic music) and a man bursts in. The man is dressed all in black, carrying a sharp, curved sword. The girl sits up in shock.

The man leers at the girl, moving in closer to grab her.
"Ah. So you're the one I was sent to kidnap," he says. "Let's hope your daddy cares about you."

Slowly, slowly, he advances on the little girl. The girl doesn't scream. Instead, her face sets into a determined expression. The man speeds up. The girl dodges behind the table. The music gradually crescendos.
Then, the kidnapper lunges.

The screen goes black. A scream is heard.

When the image returns, the man is nowhere to be seen. Something is poking out of the teddy bear's mouth— it's a bit of a finger! As we watch, even this is pulled in.

The girl picks up the bear and hugs it.
"Awww... you'we the bestest Mr. Bear ever."


New, from the people who brought you My First Wire™: CuteHiddenDanger™!

The screen shows a variety of cute stuffed animals, accessories, and pieces of decor.

Now, your little girl can have all the deathtraps and weapons of her Madboy friends— with all the camouflage and cunning you'd expect, as they blend in! Choose from a wide variety— everything from your classic Entry Trapdoor, to new twists such as the Fanged Princess Gloves, the Warp Rug, and the Magical Disintegrator Spray Brooch... or, if you've got a little inventor on your hands, they can disassemble and rebuild for the ultimate sneaky experience!
All effects reversible. Batteries sold separately. Not responsible for unintentional triggering caused by electromagnetic interference. Do not feed regularly.

Ask your mom and dad for CuteHiddenDanger™! Available at toy stores near you!

~end of ad~

Welcome to the promised LAN.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 10:39 am 
Established Mad Scientist
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A Taxonomist's Nursery Rhyme

Mr. Lump and Mr. Split
fought the whole day long
for what good Mr. Split thought right
good Mr. Lump thought wrong.

Mr. Split and Mr. Lump
fought all through the night
for what good Mr. Split thought wrong
good Mr. Lump thought right.

Now Mr. Split saw sixteen snails
where Mr. Lump saw one,
and Mr. Split wrote fifteen names
where Mr. Lump wrote none.

So Mr. Split and Mr. Lump
they both did rant and rail
and nearly killed each other o'er
the naming of a snail.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:48 am 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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Another weird night for me

Mad science is just like a box of chocolate, never know what it taste like till you try it.

Note to self: Point the slim end of the deathray away from self and towards the hero.

If you first fail, invent a time machine and try again and curse the consequences.

If God did not wanted us trying to take over the world, he would have handed the planet to us on a silver platter from the start!

Dr. Wilrantwright knew his plans for world domination were thrown right out the window when the hero used the defenestrator device. (blame my dad for that one, literally)

random stickers and signs: (warning, we are not responsible for any misleading messages!)

"If you can read this you are already under my control."
"My other car is a doomsday device."
"Forget the dog, beware of owners' deathraps."
"Violators will have their rights violated and experimented on." (Still trying to figure out how a person's rights can be experimented on)
"No soliciting, the evil hamsters are loose."

Vote for signs:

"Vote for Danny, the ONLY elder god who isn't trying to kill you."
"Vote for nTinker, as if you have a choice."
"Vote for David, he knows what he is doing we swear!"
"Vote for Jane, she has the antidote for the poison she just gave you."
"Vote for Foigran, the only one with experience with infinity."
"Vote for Xerox, who else have handled mads like him?"
"Vote for Laitu, hard to say no to a catgirl."
"Vote for Mimic, extra arms means more work gets done."
"Vote for for Eta, his lisp is overshadowed by his determination."
"Vote for Cleese, nom we say more?"
"Vote for Revel, gain from his perspective on reality."
"Vote for Burn, she got a hamster wheel."
"Vote for Claire, explosives and cake for all!"
"Vote for Kinestro, creator of DOOOM!(TM)"
"Vote for Amino, for the rule of awesomeness applies to her."
"Vote for Drezebel, before she draws you."
"Vote for Miss Clay, no one can out whack her."
"Vote for Crash, computers are more efficient."
"Vote for chicgeek, can't go wrong with a mad jaeger."
"Vote for Jess, the slipperiest of them all."
"Vote for Ghost Claire, has nothing to hide."
"Vote for Rose, it might make her stop cursing."
"Vote for Rolf, has survived the Hetrodynes."
"Vote for Herr Doktor, He's German!"
"Vote for Beard, ocean resources needs to be preserved!"
"Vote for nDrezebel, none can out terror her."
"Vote for Hawk, understand both sides of the coin."
"Vote for Demo, an expert in his field."
"Vote for Michael, might keep him from destroying the world."
"Vote for Andrew, understands what really is going on."
"Vote for Jennifer, look at what she has to put up with."
"Vote for Temptress, foils Jane more then anyone else."
"Vote for the writers, they pretend they control everything."

(And this is the part I realize just how many characters there are and how many I know and THEN notice how many MORE I DON'T know.)

Hand a man a fish, feed him for a day. Change him into a fish, feed another man for a day.

Last edited by SoItBegins on Mon Jun 14, 2010 10:43 am, edited 3 times in total.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 1:04 am 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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MORE random things! Hope you don't mind.

The time tagger

"Ivan, I NEED MORE LIGHT!" Galvant demanded as he tried to do his work. "Aye sir." Ivan readjusted the flashlight for Galvant. Galvant, chortled to himself as he stepped back from the wall to see his masterpiece. "MWUAHAHAHA I HAVE DONE IT!" His voice echoed around the musty Egyptian tomb yet to be discovered. "Indeed you have sir." Ivan agreed. he directed the light to reveal better at what Galvant did. "Now everyone will know I was here first before anyone else!" There on the wall, the paint still drying, are the letters, "Galvant was here."

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:29 am 
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A is for Abomination, which you and I create!

B is for Breakthrough, proof that you are mad!

C is for Converter, useful for converting things!

D is for Doomsday Device, nothing says you are serious then a planet cracker.

E is to Evil, the best reason for taking over the world!

F is for Fools, people who stand in your way!

G is for Generators, you ALWAYS need more power!

H is for Harry, who was a jerk to you in College.

I is for Insidious, which makes for a successful evil genius. (shame on you for needing to look this up)

J is for Jet Packs, Plan B requuires them

K is for Kinetics, that silly little force.

L is for lackey, disposable and easy to replace.

M is for Monologue, tell them why they are wrong and you are right.

N is for No, the answer you don't accept.

O is for Overkill, something you think you never achieve.

P is for Power-packs, for powering your weapons on the field.

Q is for Questions, save them for afterwords.

R is for Revenge, best served cold.

S is for Sneaky, helps your plan work.

T is for Torture, saved for a select few.

U is for Usurp, another way to gain power.

V is for Velcro, next to duct tape in usefulness!

W is for Work, something you let others do for you!

X is for Xyon, the testing grounds for mads

Y is for You, who it is all about.

Z is for Zipline, for those fast low tech getaways.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:07 pm 
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(Reposted here, so people can comment on it if they want to! Remember, I thrive on your criticism and your compliments!)

Professor Zobot wrote:
David: Zzz... *Sleeping on Claire's script*

Jane: *Sleeping on a waterbed made of the tears of her enemies* Zzz...*Stirs*

SiB: Zzzz....snerk...*Opens his eyes* ...huh? Wha?

Tinker: *Sitting up and rubbing his eyes* Are those...the cameras? Are they actually ON?

David: *Sitting up* We're FILMING? We're actually still doing this?

Jane: *Waking up suddenly* Ack! I need costumes! Make up!

SiB: Everyone get into positions! This is not a drill, people!

Tinker: Why weren't we informed? What's going on?!

The Mad Sci Wars: Chapter 9, Day 2 (Which is actually Day 1, since the last installment was just the pregame show): In 200 Seconds!

Also known as:

The Mad Sci Awards

(My Hands are trying to kill me for typing too much! Someone stop them!)

Brad: Wow, Janet! This Mad Science convention is sure big! And interesting!

Janet: You said so, Brad! And as perfectly normal bystanders, we certainly aren't going to have anything surprising or interesting happen to us while we experience it!

Merchant: *Setting up a booth right behind them* Step right up! Do crazy stuff to the Normals, just five bucks per wacky antic!

Brad: As ordinary people, we're the perfect plot device to serve as an eyepiece to the general atmosphere of the convention!

Tinker: My entrance to the convention is absolutely FAB-

Frederic: Da, stop. The Writer's trying to write you as stereotypically "Gay" again.

Tinker: Oh really? Whew. We dodged a bullet there, didn't we?

The Writer: CURSE YOU, FREDERIC TINKER! *Shakes his fist*

Jane: Gah! The Advanced Mind Control panel is happening at the same time as the "How to Properly Enslave your Arch-Rivals" Workshop! Too... hard... a...! I... I can't decide... I know! I'll just get the Advanced Mind Control panel people to mind control the people in charge of the workshop and have both of them happen in the same room! Yay!

Wally: D-Desius? What happened to Chic?

Desius: *Carrying an unconscious Chic on his back* Mistress Chicgeek got so excited about all the various things to do that she forgot to breath and passed out. She'll be ok in about an hour... by then most of the registrations will be over, so there'll be less options for her to get worked up about.

*Following Wally* This convention is awesome! I'm just... gonna slip off and go get into a fight with RoboZilla, ok? *Realizes Wally's distracted and sneaks off without permission*

Brad: Hey, Janet! Let's try this laser tag game! it looks like fun...

Janet: Gosh, I dunno, honey... I'm a bit nervous...

It's just a simple game, honey. There's nothing to be worried about.

Janet: Well, if you say so... *They walk into the Laser Tag arena, then run out after a few minutes, screaming, with lasers flying out after them*

Dana Amino: *In full Laser-Tag unform, with a laser-rocket launcher in her grip* COME BACK HERE! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO MAKE YOU SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! *Grumbles*

Ingrid: Mz. Amino, I'm not even sure how a laser-rocket launcher would WORK, much less if they exist.

Dana Amino: One of the little secrets of the universe, Ingrid. One of the little secrets of the universe.

-Meanwhile, in Hell-

Thaddeus: Huh... it seems like everyone I know conveniently has a dark secret or a relevant plot twist I can learn about down here. "INDIGO", "Don't take the universal antidote".... crazy stuff. Let's see... whose next? Jane Narbon? Let's see what dirt Hell's got on her... *Blinks* A year as a Clown? Oh my geeze I am SO exploiting that!

-Meanwhile, back at the Convention-

To protect myself and those around me from the wrath of my many imaginary enemies, I'm sneaking into this convention dressed up as some elf guy from a game no one's ever played!

Elleb: <I'm a joke-character that'll become a fan favorite! Also, I'm a Navi cosplayer!>

David: *realizes there's a chicken in front of him* hello! *Realizes there's another one behind him* Uh... hello... *Realizes that the area around him is becoming saturated with chickens* n-nice birdies... You all seem... pretty intent on staring at me...

Cucoo Leader: Buck buckaw! <Vengence for the slain! Destroy the green-tunic'd one!> *As all of them converge on David, in a frenzied dust cloud of pecking and clawing*

David: Ack! *Runs, the chickens chasing him, and catching up Frederic in the pursuit*

(To Be continued... in Day 1, Part 3! Happening... probably Sunday sometime! I dunno!)

We've learned a lot, but this still isn't going to be easy. But I don't think the elder star's confidence in us was misplaced. I know we can do this! We'll set things right! ...somehow.

"There is a fine line between a good King and a Despot. A King is best when His subjects barely realize that He exists. When His work is done and His will is fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
-Xin Yun

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 10:50 am 
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Zobot? That was great. I especially love the line about Jane Narbon sleeping on a waterbed filled with the tears of her enemies!
I'm looking forward to the rest of the mad sci awards in XXX seconds.
Chic, however, is roaming the forum with an assault bazooka that's bigger than she is, looking for you, so you may want to post and run. :)

And, because Tinker requested it in chat, something silly.

Dr. Seuss's Hot Jammy Shark Death

This is a shark
It lives in jam
Its name is Mark
It goes nyam nyam

It eats ham and spam and goes nyam nyam
Swimming in the boiling jam

Pectin and Francis, now there's three
A shark for you and you and me
See one leaping through a hoop!
And now they do a loop de loop

Ham and spam and red hot jam
Everybody go nyam nyam!

Unwanted guests had best beware
In the moat there floats
Some underwear
All that's left of Ninja Dan
He was a very foolish man

Bam! and wham! gone in the jam
Everybody go nyam nyam!

NegaTinker smiles with glee
In the dark guard sharks
Smile malevolently
Sue escaped but lost an ear
And lost all taste for jam I fear

No jam or ham for Sue and Dan
Everybody go nyam nyam!

Let's look closer-what do you see?
A foot? mother's calling me
Home for lunch, or maybe brunch
Bye bye sharkies! Time to munch!
Jam sharkies think it's lunchtime, too
Swimming in the red hot goo

They think my name is Spam-I-Am!

Gone with Sue and Dan and ham.
Jammie Sharkies go nyam nyam!

.. not how Science works, love. 1st, you build the machine, then it tells you what it's for.
Do you think I had the 1st idea what a squidhole was when I invented it? Certainly not! I was just messing about! That's when the very best & very Maddest Science gets done. I thought,Why, this alabaster octopus looks like it wants a nice transmission inside it,& fairly soon I had a thing that obviously had a Use, though what that Use could be was a total mystery.
(Sameness Engine) I haven't the 1st notion of what it's for! That's not why I made it-I made it for the sheer joy of making something new! It's getting up to tell me what it wants me to do, though, I can just feel it. It's been giggling a lot at night.
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland
C Valente

Last edited by chicgeek on Sat Apr 24, 2010 10:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 11:55 pm 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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Writer: Grrr I am having trouble coming up with ideas
Miss Clay: Well how about something non sequitur?
Writer: What you mean?
Miss Clay: Well Zobot does those strange mad sci wars in XXX seconds which kinda sounds well dirty to me but don't tell him that why not something like that?
Writer: Hey that is a great idea! *Drags Miss Clay*
Miss Clay: Wait! I didn't mean with me!

~~The search for the perfect script~~

scene 1

*curtains open up to view a desolate theater, A lone man is at the entrance checking for tickets, if there was any customers. Hawk comes up with Miss Clay in tow with two coconuts.*

Miss Clay: Why are we doing this again?

Hawk: Because the writer is bored, wants to do something silly and he is threatening to give our contracts to Jane.

Miss Clay: *grumbles* Oh yeah.

Man: Tickets please.

Hawk: I am gathering a group together to look for the perfect script, is your manager here?

Man: So you are looking for the perfect script at a movie theater?

Hawk: Yes I am, I demand to see your manager.

Man: Why does she have two coconuts?

Miss Clay: Hey I like coconuts!

Man: they are not even in season!

Miss Clay: This is the modern era, you can get just about any fruit any time of the year.

Hawk: It matters not, I demand to speak to your manager.

Man: Look if you expect me to believe that not you are looking for the perfect script but my MANAGER will want to come with too? What do you take him for, a sucker?

Hawk: Would it help if I change him into a sucker?

Man: certainly not!

Miss Clay: Did you even bring the suckerizer?

Hawk: Shush, I am trying to negotiate with the man

Miss Clay: Looks more like the man is telling you off

hawk: I so have this under control!

Miss Clay: Humph, I have seen babies driving blindfolded while alseep with more control then you right now

Man: Excuse me.

Hawk: You deaf?! I am about to have the man break down to my demands if you had not stepped in!

Miss Clay: If I had not stepped in? Boy you got a lot to learn about being in command. For a mad scientist you sure are lacking in certain departments. And WHY am I carrying coconuts!

Hawk: Coconuts can be used for many things. And I was doing just fine!

Man: Excuse me bu-

Hawk: *uses the suckerizer to turn the man into a large sucker*

Miss Clay: What did you do that for!

Hawk: He didn't cave into my demands so I followed through with my threat. Isn't that what a mad scientist do?


Hawk: Oh... well how was I supposed to know!

Miss Clay: Because it is YOUR mouth not mines?

*Both start walking off arguing*

Man...errr sucker: Man I hate my job

Writer: *flips through the script* Ummm yeah I am going to need more actors for this.
Miss Clay: *is dressed in dirty rags* You better! No way am I being the hag!
Writer: Hmm I wonder if I can "borrow" some other characters. Oh yeah you have to redo the first scene.
Miss Clay: WHAT?!?! Why?
Writer: *flips through the script* Because I need to change a few things?
Miss Clay: *smacks the writer on the head* Deal with it! No way I am doing more then I have to just because you are too lazy to think this through *stalks off*
Writer: Ow *rubs head* I should write away her whacking abilities one of these days. Glad I didn't have anyone comment about Miss Clay actually carrying around two SETS of coconuts. I better get back to work, gotta a lot to change............. wait a minute. This sounds too much like work! *throws the script away* Improv, don't fail me again!

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 11:45 pm 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist

Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:40 pm
Posts: 473
Writer: *comes in with a a large stuffed bag over his shoulder* Alright places everyone!
Miss Clay: I want to protest this script, it does not even make sense or follow logic!..... What is in the bag?
Writer: Nothing? Anyways it DOES make sense, you just have to see the whole thing and put together before it makes sense.
Miss Clay: How does dancing poodles have anything to do with the plotline? *pokes the bag which moves* That is a hole lot of nothing. *glares*
Writer: Look just get into places or else I will carry through the threat of forcing you to touch the topping machine!
Miss Clay: Humph Like that scares me
Writer: Hmmm *whispers into Miss CLay's ear*
Miss Clay: *pales a little* You wouldn't dare!
Writer: I will if you don't go through with this!
Miss Clay: Humph *stalks off*

~~The Search for the perfect script~~

scene 2

*Both Hawk and Clay are in an old forest area*

Miss Clay: *grumbles* I can't believe we agreed to this.

Hawk: *shrugs* Just think of it as a time waster. Try to enjoy yourself.

Miss Clay: SO why are we here?

Hawk: Well there is a man here who could know or have what we seek.

Miss Clay: Who is that?

Hawk: I forget, doctor something. Was tough to understand that angry mob who was looking for him.

Miss Clay: Great.

*Both comes up to a castle*

Hawk: Wait this was not here a second ago... This must be the place! *knocks*............... *knocks again*

*Door open to reveal and rough looking man with a hump on the left side and an eyepatch*

Miss Clay: Let me guess, you are Igor and this is Frankenstein's castle.

Egor: It is "Egor" Miss and this is FrankenSTEEN's castle. Frankenstein was his uncle Miss.

Hawk: And no one has ever taken care of that hump?

Egor: What hump sir?

Hawk: *shakes head* never mind. May we talk to the owner?

Egor: Of course *opens the door*

*Hawk and Miss Clay makes themselves comfortable in the waiting room as Egor gets Dr. Frankensteen.*

Miss Clay: *looks around* This place needs cleaning. *notices the dartboard* and very familiar.

Egor: *comes back with Frankensteen, who looks very similar to Galvant.*

Frankensteen: You wanted to talk to me fools?

Hawk: Yes we are on a quest for the perfect script.

Frankensteen: Nope sorry. Now are you done wasting my time?

Miss Clay: What no tea? No biscuits? No offer for us to stay the night so you can experiment on us in twisted ways?

Frankensteen: No. First off I have enough guests here to experiment with. Secondly I got an angry mob scheduled in a few hours AND I don't think you are the right material for my experiments.

Miss Clay: What?! Not good enough! I will show you not good enough!

Frankensteen: EGOR! Escort these two off the premise right now!

*Miss Clay grumbles as Egor sees them out.*

Miss Clay: Wait wasn't your hump on the other side.....?

Egor: I have no idea what you are talking about *kicks Hawk and Clay out*

Hawk: Ok that was silly

Officer: Alright alright that is enough. This has gotten too silly. I am shutting it down.

Writer: *storms on stage* Who are you and what are you doing?

Officer: I am an officer of the Bureau of Off-Cantered Stories.

Writer: B.O.C.S.?

Officer: Yes and you have gone too far!

Second Officer: Hold it! I am placing all of you under arrest under article 23.2.6b under the unofficial scripting rules.

Miss Clay: and that means?

Second Officer: Ending a script without a punchline

Writer: This is ridiculous, but isn't you arresting us like this also denies this of a punchline?

Second: Wait, I think you are right! *is grabbed by a third officer*

Miss Clay: So who was in the bag?
Writer: um a new actor for the next scene?
Miss Clay: You kidding me?! You are doing another scene after this!
Writer: Yep!
Miss Clay: And you kidnapped somebody else character who you are somehow going to force to play a part in the next scene? That means Galvant and Ivan did this WILLINGLY?!
Writer: Well I told them this might get him recognition with the LOV.
Miss Clay: That is just stupid. They are more likely to laugh at him for this then accept him.
Writer: I know
Miss Clay....... You are evil
Writer: I try to be at times
Miss Clay: *whacks the writer in the head and stomps off*
Writer: Ouch! What did I do? And why is Miss Clay always difficult to work with? *grumbles*

Last edited by Hawkwolf on Tue Apr 27, 2010 8:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: A Fairy Tale, MSW Style
PostPosted: Thu May 06, 2010 10:11 am 
Heh heh heh.
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
An idea struck me.

The Twelve Dancing Princesses

Once upon a time, there was a King, Davenport or something his name was, but that isn't important right now. There was a King, and he had a Queen who he loved and admired, and the two of them together had twelve children. Through some quirk of fate, every one of those children was a daughter, and thus a Princess. The youngest was no older than 11, and the eldest in her mid-twenties.

Now, one day, the King was going over the household accounts when he noticed some extremely odd entries. It seemed that the bill for shoes for his daughters had grown extraordinarily high, as had the energy usage from their rooms. At the same time, each and every one of the King's daughters had recently started losing copious amounts of sleep, as could be seen from their faces.
So, the King called the Princesses into the throne room and asked them, one by one, what was going on. Unfortunately, all the Princesses were highly skilled in the art of lying, as they had learned under the tutelage of the eldest Princess (who by some quirk of fate had black hair, in contrast to the blond of her mother and sisters), so all answered sweetly and innocently that they had no idea what the King was talking about.

The King, though somewhat dejected at the thought that his daughters would lie to him so wholly, was not dissuaded, and so he asked the Queen to bug the Princesses' rooms, quite carefully. After some thought and planning on behalf of the royal couple, the King and his daughters attended a performance at the Theatre, and while they were gone, the Queen, quite carefully, entered the Princesses' rooms and placed cameras and microphones where she thought they couldn't be detected. (She also took the opportunity to plant bugs in the Royal Bedroom, but that is a story unto itself.)
When the King and the Princesses returned home, the Queen greeted them all warmly, making no reference to the events that had occurred while they were away. That night, the King and Queen hooked up the receiver for the bugs, connecting them to a recorder. Then, they went to bed themselves.

The next morning, the royal pair reviewed the surveillance tapes. In the footage, all was quiet until about half an hour after the Princesses' bedtime. Then, the feed from every single recording device, no matter how well hidden, went flat. This continued for about 10 minutes; then, the devices came online once more, revealing that the Princesses' beds were empty.
The King and Queen watched with a mix of curiosity and apprehension, as the footage continued to show twelve empty beds. Then, about 15 minutes before dawn, the feeds died again. When they resumed, the Princesses were back in their bedrooms, asleep, once more. Their beautiful dancing shoes, which had vanished with them, were significantly more worn.

Now, the King and the Queen had become quite curious about what their daughters were getting up to. The Queen, seeing that something was interfering with the Bugs, resolved to ask the Princesses about it herself, and stay up late to see if she could find out what was the matter. So, the King went to bed that night and left the Queen talking to all twelve of the royals' daughters, all sitting in a circle on the floor of the eldest Princess's bedroom. The next morning, the Queen returned to the King, having apparently spent all night talking.

"So, what was it?" asked the King, in a rather anxious way.
"As it turns out, nothing," answered the Queen. "Just some mild tomfoolery in the line of Midnight Laser Tag."

The King wasn't entirely sure that this was a believable explanation, but still gave his daughters a long lecture about the importance of sleep in our daily lives, no matter how alluring leisure activities seemed. The King slept soundly that night, and many after that. The Princesses, for their part, appeared much fresher in the morning.
Several weeks later, the King was indisposed and ended up skipping dinner. Instead, he went to bed early. As he got into bed, he noticed something odd: his wife's own dancing shoes now looked worn and torn. Bewildered, he tried to think why this might be. However, as he was indisposed, he was unable to work this out and fell asleep instead.

At 3 AM, the King was woken up by the tolling of the bell of the clock in the City. He felt much better. Then, he looked to his left side. The Queen was not in bed with him. Puzzled, he went out to the hallway. She was nowhere to be seen. A sudden suspicion seized the King. He rushed to the Princesses' rooms. Sure enough, every single room was empty— and the dancing shoes of the Princesses and the Queen were nowhere to be found.
Not willing to let the explanation of Laser Tag get by him, the King began to search nearby rooms for places where a game might be held. He searched large rooms; small rooms; and even strange rooms, while the castle guards he passed mentally shrugged and figured that it was none of their business where the King went at 3 o'clock in the morning. After he had searched many, many rooms, he came to a conclusion. The Princesses, and the Queen, were nowhere to be found. There was nothing the King could do, and causing a panic did not seem to be a good idea. Instead, the King went back to bed.

The next morning, the Queen, the Princesses, and the shoes were back in their respective positions, and the King was starting to think very carefully. It was starting to become obvious that the Queen had been regularly giving him a sleeping-potion of some sort, then gallivanting off to join the Princesses wherever they went all night. Finally, an idea occurred to him. It, perhaps, did not seem like the best of ideas, but it hopefully would work.
So, without delay, the King had signs posted around the Kingdom, saying,


The King seeks brave adventurers
to help him discover where it is
his daughters, the Princesses,
disappear to every night,
to return tired and with worn-out shoes.
Adventurers will have
three days and three nights
to find the cause. However,
anyone who does not succeed
within this timeframe
will be summarily tossed out of the kingdom.

Reward: Marriage of one of the elder
Princesses, or a chest of gold"

Gradually, word got out that the King had a foolish idea in his head, and adventurers began to traverse long treks to reach the castle. None were successful. All of the Princesses had learned well the arts taught them by the Queen. The adventurers, male, female, handsome, ugly, dumb or smart, all succumbed to the Princesses' powerful sleeping potions, gladly accepting the food and wine the daughters brought them. And, for those who were paranoid, there was always the (drugged) scented massage oil. All the adventurers enjoyed their three days, yet fell mysteriously asleep for their three nights— and, true to the King's word, all were escorted to the borders of the realm and booted across.

Now, it so happened that in the realm there lived a likable young man named Stanley, who was apprenticed to a shoemaker. Stanley was a good worker, but prone to getting odd notions in his head. So, one day Stanley got an idea. After thinking about it a bit, he said to the Master Shoemaker, a man named Williamson, "I think I'm going to go try and figure out why the Princesses disappear every night."
Stanley and Mr. Williamson had all seen the posters (which were large, hard to miss, and posted on many notice boards), but few residents of the King's realm had gone to try their luck at solving the mystery. All who had tried were now living in the next country. So, Mr. Williamson said to Stanley, "No— you must not go! You'd lose your place in the country— and you haven't learned fully about shoes yet! You'd lose a livelihood, and I'd lose an apprentice, and it would be a loss all round!"

But Stanley said, "It's a good argument, but I've made up my mind. I'll figure out the riddle, or be tossed out trying!"
And so, packing a bag with traveling goods, he set out for the castle. When Stanley came near the castle, he was hailed by a "pssssst!" from a hedge. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he headed for the source of the noise.
When he got there, he saw an older woman, wearing a long white coat and tinted glasses. She was carrying a mug of wine, despite no apparent source being nearby. "Are you—" began Stanley. He was going to ask Are you a fairy, but the woman began to speak.

"Finally. Someone who looks halfway decent. *ahem* How would you like to be the person who discovers what's going on up in the castle?"

Stanley said he would like that very much.

"Good. My daughter's daughters have been getting up to quite a lot of tomfoolery, and the oldest are getting around marriageable age. As if that wasn't enough, my own daughter's joined in. It's about time the thirteen of them came back to reality instead of vanishing all night."

Stanley began to realize that he was in the presence of a relation of the Queen. He began to get on one knee.
"Don't bother, kiddo," said the woman. "Now, here's what you have to do:"
She reached behind her and brought out two items: a belt and a bottle.

"First, put the belt on. Yes, that's it. If you need not to be seen, touch the buckle, think hard about not being seen and it'll make you become invisible. When you're done using it, touch the buckle again, think hard about being visible once more, and you will be."
She tucked the bottle into Stanley's pocket.
"That bottle is an antidote. If my granddaughters (or even my daughter) offers you food, or drink, or whatever, make sure you take this in advance."
Stanley was not stupid. Realizing what the woman was insinuating, he looked at her with surprise. She wasn't done talking.
"It won't necessarily work against anything you rub on the skin, so if they offer you something like that— lip balm, sunscreen, even soap— decline. Or run. The King will just figure it's your... adventurer's method. Good luck, kiddo!"
The woman, now grinning a wicked grin, smiled, drained her mug, produced a box of wine from nowhere and refilled the mug from it, gave an ironic little wave at Stanley, then vanished.

Stanley journied up to the castle, and saw the King. The King looked him over, decided he seemed no better or worse than the large number of other adventurers who had come before, and let him set up a sleeping bag in a far corner of the eldest princess's bedroom (with a stern warning that, in case he thought of trying anything funny, all his daughters knew martial arts). The King then introduced Stanley to all the Princesses in turn.

That evening, Stanley was examining one of the pairs of discarded dancing slippers that he had discovered stuffed in the eldest Princess's closet. Out of habit, and partially from a desire to flex his skill, he began repairing it. The shoe had been through inestimable wear. What could have caused this?
As he worked, one of the Princesses (the third eldest) came into the room bearing a tray. On it was a most delicious-looking dinner. Stanley thanked the Princess politely, then, remembering the words of the old woman, drank a small portion of the antidote, then followed it with the meal.

That night, he settled down into his sleeping bag. The castle room was larger than he was used to, and he slowly drifted off to sleep (naturally, thanks to the old woman's help). Much later, he awoke with a start. He had missed his first chance to find out what was going on! Then, he realized that it was very late at night, the room was dark, and the only light came from a glowing blue portal. In a conveniently placed mirror, he witnessed the smallest of the Princesses, followed by the Queen, all dressed in opulent clothes, leaving the portal (which closed behind them), then heading out the room door, presumably to their own bedrooms. The eldest entered her closet, returning with her nightgown, whereupon she got into bed.
Making a mental note of this, Stanley went back to sleep.

The next morning, the King summoned Stanley to him, and asked to know what he had discovered. Stanley said, "Your Majesty, I have one possibility I am working on, but I will need more time to fully understand what is going on."
The King said "So be it," and Stanley returned to the eldest Princess's room, to wait for nightfall.
This time, Stanley did a thorough search while he was sure no one was around. If the Princesses and the Queen were coming out of a portal, it would explain the worn-out shoes and fancy clothes— they were going somewhere else, presumably having a good time, and returning. Out of habit, he continued to mend the shoes he had found in the closet. He had finished mending 8 pairs, and was working on his 9th when another of the Princesses came in, bearing a tray. Taking a drink of antidote first, Stanley ate with gusto, then finished working on the shoes and prepared to go to bed once more.

This time, he only pretended to fall asleep. Once the eldest Princess was quite sure he was breathing regularly, she got out of her bed and went to her closet. She emerged in another luxurious outfit, with matching (brand-new) shoes. Going to the door, she made some sort of hand signal. The other Princesses, and the Queen, came in, in similarly fancy clothes. With a flick of her hand against a device, the eldest Princess conjured the same portal Stanley had seen before. The Princesses went through.
At this point, Stanley touched the buckle on the belt the old woman had given him. Thinking hard, he faded from view. Getting up silently, he was just able to get behind the Princesses and make it through the portal before it closed.
What he saw dazzled him beyond belief.

The Princesses had emerged in a wood, with massive trees surrounding them. The trees's leaves were made, not of wood, but of every kind of metal in every color of the rainbow. It was night, and the leaves glowed in a surprising variety of opalescent colors, easily lighting the Princesses' (and Stanley's) way. The mosses under their feet formed a soft carpet, and glowing bugs danced in the distance. With no hesitation, the Princesses moved down the path.
Obviously, they've been here before, thought Stanley.
Soon, the Princesses came to a wide expanse of water. Twelve large disc-shaped antigravity craft lay, waiting, by the waterside, from large to small. A princess got on each. As the last disc left, Stanley noticed a handle on its underside. Running, he jumped after the retreating craft, and just managed to catch the handle. The antigravity motors took it all in stride.

And on the other side of the lake...
...was a torchlit, open pavillion, with a glowing center. Each of the twelve Princesses moved onto the pavillion center, rising into the air with a "Wheeeeee!" Stanley looked up to see where they were going, and nearly froze with his mouth open.
Above the pavillion was a gigantic Castle, seemingly constructed of air, cloud, and starlight. Gaily-colored pennants of light hung from the battlements, as it shimmered (as the moonlight refracted through it) with all the colors of the rainbow. Stanley stepped onto the center of the pavilion, rising to the Castle.
Inside the Castle, Stanley followed sounds of music, as well as any glimpses he could get of the Princesses (and the Queen) as they followed a route they knew well.

The Princess arrived into a huge ballroom, where a great ball was taking place. Many handsome gentlemen and beautiful ladies were there; Stanley recognized exactly none of them. He was sure that he had seen a few in an old book on faeries he had seen once— but the book had called them myths. There were even two unicorns: one red and one blue.
The Princesses (and the Queen) danced, gossiped, enjoyed themselves, flirted with a great number of handsome young men, and admired (and were admired in turn) by twelve Princes, from young to old, nearly a match for the Princesses themselves. Hours seemed to pass. The Princesses, and Stanley, never got tired; but hours passed nonetheless. Eventually, the Princesses (and the Queen) took their leave, with regret; and then, only because their dancing shoes had all but worn out.

Stanley followed the Princesses back through the passages of the Castle, taking notice of a sign on the wall outside the ballroom. Returning to the pavillion, he followed the Princesses (and the Queen) back across the lake, then through the forest to the place where all had entered. With another flick of her hand, the eldest daughter opened the portal once again. The Princesses, the Queen, and Stanley stepped through, returning to the eldest Princess's bedroom. By the time the eldest Princess came out of her closet after changing into her sleepwear, Stanley was thoroughly visible, in bed, and asleep.

The next morning, the King summoned Stanley to him again, asking to know if he had discovered anything more. Stanley told the King the whole tale, from the portal, to the Castle, and back again. Once he had finished, the king looked at him in a funny way.
"I do not mean to dampen your tale, but that is quite a yarn! Do you have any proof of this?"
Stanley did not, but he did point out that he had one day left. Then, he asked the King, "For this, the final day, I have a small request. Would it be possible to engage the services of your tailor and your technologist?"
The King readily agreed, and Stanley went to instruct them what he needed.

After he had gone, the King called in the Queen.
"Did you give the adventurer, Stanley, anything of yours?" he asked.
"No, why?" said the Queen.
"Well, he came with a most marvelous story," here he described it, loosely, "and I feared he was hallucinating."
"No," said the Queen again, "I haven't done anything to him."

Then, she went to talk to her daughters. The jig was up.

All that day, the Royal Tailors and the Royal Technologist worked on what Stanley had asked for. Meanwhile, Stanley was repairing shoes. He was just putting the last touches on the 13th pair when a messenger walked in, delivering him the finished creations. He accepted with thanks, and stuffed them and the shoes in his bag. Shortly afterwards, the Queen herself came in with a tray of food. Stanley picked at it until she left, then took a drink of the antidote (a larger one than usual, acting on intuition) and finished the meal. A little while later, a servant came in and offered to escort Stanley to a bath; but, he remembered the old woman's warning and declined, politely.

Faking sleep was easier this time, and time passed swiftly until the Princesses filed in, portal glowing and ready. They were dressed somewhat differently this time, but the exquisite dancing shoes were once again new pairs. Before they went through the portal, the eldest Princess held up her hand.
"What is it?" one of the others asked.
"I searched the adventurer's belongings," answered the Princess, "and he had a bottle of Grandmother's antidote."

The Queen straightened up, a smile playing around her face. "That's not a problem— he did see us last night, but he brought no proof. All we have to do is make sure he sleeps through tonight, and we're home free." Bending down, she gave Stanley a long, full kiss on the forehead. At first, nothing seemed to happen. Had the antidote triumphed? Then Stanley realized he couldn't move, that the room was starting to get dark. His last thought before he fell truly asleep was Oh, darn it...

He was awoken by a hand on his shoulder. Another hand tipped the last few drops of something from a bottle into Stanley's mouth. He coughed, and sat up.
It was still dark, and the King stood in front of him. "You know, the more I thought about it, the more your tale seemed just like something my daughters would pull," he said. He helped Stanley to his feet. "I can't help you as to where they've gone, but if your story is true, at least I can level the playing field."
He smiled. "Go get 'em, tiger," he said. Then he was gone.

Stanley looked at a nearby clock. He had only missed an hour or so since the Princesses (and the Queen) left. Now, he had to figure out how to follow them. What was it? The eldest Princess had stood here, in front of the fireplace, and gestured.... like so?....
To his (partial) amazement, the portal opened before him. Readying his belt, he stepped in. As before, he headed to the forest. Then, he came up against the river. The antigravity craft had left, but a boat, with a boatman in a opaque cloak and hood. "Can I cross?" Stanley asked. The boatman looked up at him, then said, "If you wish to cross, you must pay."

Stanley had left his money pouch and normal belongings back in the eldest Princess's bedroom, to make room for what he carried in his bag now. "Er.... how?" he asked, aware he sounded rather sheepish. "You have two ways for hiding upon you," the boatman answered. "I desire exactly one." Stanley sat down on the bank and began to think. Finally, the boatman took pity on him. "Your belt. I swear, no one understands perfectly good riddles these days..."
Stanley shrugged. He wouldn't need it, at least for what was to come. He just had to hope the boatman would do round trips. Giving the boatman the belt, he sat as the man (if that's what he was; it was impossible to see with the robe) pulled on the oars, taking the boat to the pavilion. Without hesitation, he charged into the center, and up to the castle.
(And behind him, the boatman chuckled to herself, saying "Good luck, kiddo." Then, she rowed away.)

Once he arrived in the castle, Stanley ducked into a dark corner, removing the items he had asked for from his bag. The most obvious of these: an elegant costume, a wig, and a white half-mask. Putting the lot on, he checked his appearance in the mirror. His own guildmaster wouldn't have recognized him now. Then, he progressed by way of the memorized route into the castle ballroom, now decorated as a fantastic setting right out of a story book. The poster he had noticed before was now by the entrance, in a fancy stand.

Tonight - Castle in the Air
Grand Unmasking - Midnight

And, following the sign, every guest, every beautiful lady and handsome gentleman, wore an elaborate, plush costume. From beasts of legend, to characters from lore, to farmers and tigers, to costumes of people and things that would only be invented much later, the room was filled with masked dancers, enjoying the party atmosphere, now made doubly exciting by the anonymity. A few of the more adventurous guests had taken to playing small jokes on the others, but most were merely enjoying themselves. Stanley, in his costume, wig, and mask, fit right in.

Stanley had chosen well when it came to his disguise. In a classical outfit, complete with long, curly wig, he had become a classical Cavalier. Now, he joined the dancers, bowing as he approached the eldest Princess (costumed as a woman with a fox's tail, yet still recognizable by her long, black hair). The Princess was rather flattered to see someone she didn't know approach her, and the two danced together. The shoemaker's apprentice visited other parts of the room— nibbling on snacks from the buffet, taking in the sights— but he always found himself drawn back to dance with the fox-woman, as she herself found herself curious about the mysterioius Cavalier.

The night passed swiftly. Soon, it was nowhere near Midnight, but the Princesses (and the Queen) prepared to leave. As before, their dancing shoes had become worn to pieces. Seeing this, Stanley headed for the Princesses. Bowing, he said in a deep voice, "Ah. Leaving so soon, madam et mademoiselles?"
The eldest Princess smiled at Stanley. "Ah, sir, we would love to stay, but our shoes have all worn out! So, we must go..." It was time for Stanley to play his trump card. From his bag, he took out the twelve pairs, from largest down to smallest (and the pair for the Queen), and said, "Will these do?"

The Princesses (and the Queen) stared, surprised. Mysterious (and rather handsome) strangers were one thing, but mysterious strangers who just happened to have more than a dozen pairs of shoes on them were another. "Are they magic?" the Queen asked. Stanley answered, speaking to the royals, "Not of themselves; only by your wearing of them do they become truly magnificent."
The Princesses, flattered, tried on the pairs of shoes, making little gasps of surprise and wonder as they discovered they fitted perfectly. Stanley found himself bedazzled by the eldest Princess's purple eyes, visible through her mask, and soon found himself escorting her to the dance floor, with the other Princesses following behind them.

The night once again passed in a great spectacle of dancing. Stanley met quite a lot of beautiful women, but he realized he was starting to get quite taken with the beautiful eldest Princess. He danced with her more than any other, and even looked on as she played a few tricks (in line with the theme of her costume). At one point he wondered what time it must be back in the castle; then, he forgot it as he was twirled by the beautiful Princess.
Then, a gong sounded.
A man and a woman who were apparently the hosts of the party (they were dressed as a mythological angel and devil) got up on the stage where the musicians played, to make an announcement. "It is time for the Grand Unmasking," they stated. "But first? Let us dance!" They and the other guests, who had done this before, got in two great circles, with the men on the outside and the women on the inside. Stanley faced the Princess, then the guests began to dance, the circles intermingling and twining around each other in a curious dance, of which Stanley had never seen the like. He passed the Queen once, and the other Princesses twice; for a second, he was even caught up in a whirl with the female host, her horns and tail glittering in the refracted, super-bright light from the moon.

The piece drew to a climax; the dancers moved faster. To Stanley, everything felt like it was speeding up. The music gathered its strenght for one last dramatic burst as the circles whirled faster, then slowed.... and with one dramatic shout, he was standing back before the eldest Princess. The dance was over. Stanley and the Princess removed their masks (she smiling at the thought of discovering the identity of the mysterious Cavalier), and bowed to one another.

He straightened up. The Princess looked at him. And froze.


The next morning, the King summoned Stanley to him yet again. This time, the Princesses and the Queen were present. Stanley, back in his normal clothes, told the royals of his experience (including dancing with the eldest Princess, the gift of the shoes, and the Great Unmasking.) The King looked at him solemnly, and said, "I'm afraid my daughters— and my wife!— have told me a tale far different than what you have just said. So, I will ask you. This time, have you any proof?"

Stanley smiled, pulling from his bag the camera he had had the Royal Technologist hide in his costume. "Most certainly, O my King. Um, do you have a video monitor?"

The King watched as the video followed the progress of the dance, and everything, just as Stanley had said. Finally, he turned to the Queen.
"My dears," he said, "if you were having so much fun, why on earth did you not bring me along?"
The Princesses (and the Queen) began to stutter, all at once. The King waved his hand to silence them. "It doesn't matter. Now, all that matters is what we do about it." He looked at Stanley, who was gazing at the eldest Princess. She was beginning to return the glances.
"Now, here is what I think needs to happen..."

So, Stanley was hailed as the solver of the mystery, and returned to Mr. Williamson and learned the rest of all there was to know about making shoes. Then, once he had become a master shoemaker, he and the eldest Princess (whose name was Jane) were married, in an opulent royal wedding. The King joined the rest of the Royal Family in their midnight dances— that is, after he had the Technologist modify the portal's time dilation so that the Princesses (and the Queen, and the King) could still get a full night's sleep. And as for the Princesses' shoes, whenever a pair wore out (and they did so much less, with proper craftsmanship), Stanley was there to repair them. Now, the Princesses (and the Queen, and the King) could dance all night, instead of leaving halfway through. At the next Masquerade, Stanley came in the costume of a shoemaker, as a touch of wit.

Much, much later, the old King and Queen died and Stanley (now the heir to the Kingdom) and Princess Jane were crowned. Much, much, much later, when King Stanley and Queen Jane had daughters, they let them discover the Castle in the Air for themselves, though by then it had metamorphosed into a discotheque. The King himself mended his daughters' worn-out dancing shoes, gradually strengthening and beautifying them, and so the new generation of Princesses experienced the fun given to the older generation.

And so, the secret of the Castle in the Air (and a general talent for making and repairing shoes) was passed down through the royal line, through generations of Princesses and Princes and Queens and Kings, and all had quite a lot of fun (even if they did sleep a bit overlong in the mornings.)
And still, some people say that if you go by a certain castle at midnight, even in these modern days, you can see a glow, and hear strange, ethereal music... if it was coming from a portal to another world.

The End

"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Fri May 07, 2010 1:06 am 
Heh heh heh.
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Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
A Small Vignette

The Far Future

Jane was working in the garden when one of her grand-daughters ran up to her.

"Gwandma Jane! Gwandma!"

"Yes, dear?"

"I wanna leawn how to be a con woman! Will you teach me?"

Jane considered this request for a few seconds, then said, "All right. I'll teach you, if you give me ten dollars."

The granddaughter duly reappeared after a short while, with ten dollars. Jane took it, smiling in a grandmotherly way.
Pocketing the bill, she said, "You see? That's how you do it. Thanks for the ten dollars."



"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Tue May 11, 2010 6:50 pm 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:52 pm
Posts: 618
Location: Two steps ahead of you
There was a room that was more than a room. It had no walls, no ceiling, it just went on and on forever with only a floor as a boundary. It was white. Not off white, or white with years of age, or even fresh coat of white paint white. It. Was. White. Colorless white, there was a perfect balance of color and radiation so that there was only the colorless white all around.

Stacked on the floor were sheets of paper. They were circular and as wide as a car. On their surface were words, written so incredibly small that there was no distinction of individual words to the human eye. They simply appeared to be black sheets of paper. And they were stacked together in gigantic piles, each centering around a central point and spiraling down slowly into tailing stacks that slowly degraded into single sheets of paper. The mountains of paper dotted the landscape in all directions, and if one were above it all at enough of a distance they would see the stacks dissolve into the shape of atoms, then molecules, people, buildings, planets, stars, star systems, and even galaxies. On the endless white background it was as if the universe was being shown in inverse.

A man stood on a sheet of paper that was still blank white. He was old, terribly old. All skin and bones, and mostly bones at that. A his wispy white hair blended into his wispy beard, each seemingly on the verge of blowing away at the slightest breeze, which would never come. He was stooped over at the waist, almost double, so that his beard tickled the paper. He held a pen in one hand as he stooped a little lower and began to write.

Slow at first, and slowly picking up speed, the man wrote of another universe, words changing in size as he wrote, seemingly at random until the next spiral of words reached the ones that came before. He wrote of the beginning of the universe, of it’s planets, it’s sentient life, even the stories of all the atoms were accounted for.

A pause. The man did not read much of what he wrote, but this was different, this was important. He had written of a man, barely old enough, barely mature enough to be called a man. This was not unusual, but this man wrote of the old man as the old man had written of him. Both considered for a moment, as the old man continued to write, was it the old man that wrote the younger, or the younger that wrote the old man. Both were certain of their existence but both wrote of the other writing themselves. So did one create the other, or were they two parts of a puzzle, existing only because the other declared it to be so?

A fade to black, and then light seeped under the eyelids of George P. Farthurer. He awoke slowly to stare at the ceiling. The elderly man was getting on in years and his mind was beginning to go. With each passing day it became harder to distinguish reality from the dreams. He had no recollection of his younger years, only the last book he wrote before he arrived in the retirement home.

It was an innocent book, a book any person could read and not feel childish or left behind. But it held a secret. Latents who read the book became mad. No one knew the book was the cause, not even Farthurer, but something about it’s words inspired latents to the breaking point.

And now Farthurer closed his eyes again, maybe for the last time.

The room was white, and mountains of paper that spelled out universes spread out in every direction. A young man stood stooped over a disk of paper and smiled warmly as he wrote. Another day another universe.

"When you have to shoot, shoot, don’t talk" -Tuco, The Good the Bad and the Ugly

10 ghost tackles.

DOOM! and DR.KINESTRO! are both trademarks of the Kinestro co. and are not to be used, displayed, shouted, written, or thought without express permission of the Kinestro co. Perpetrators will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, then dealt with personally by DR.KINESTRO!(tm).

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Fri May 14, 2010 3:48 pm 
Heh heh heh.
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Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:02 am
Posts: 1324
Location: Behind you
~A Thought~

Lady Drezebel was in the middle of an artistic work when the knock came on her door. Alternating between cheery and grumbling in the space of a few seconds, she went to open it. There was no one there, but a small crate rested on her doorstep.

Shrugging, Lady Drezebel lugged the crate into her room, then drew up a crowbar to open the box. Inside were a number of smaller boxes, a very small box, and an envelope entitled "Read this First."

Ignoring the letter, Lady D opened one of the smaller boxes. Inside were 6 bottles of soda, and a paper that said, "Out of a general concern for your health and welfare, you really should read the letter first."
Whoever had sent the crate had guessed exactly what Lady Drezebel was going to do.

Grumbling to herself, the Mad artist opened the letter. The missive was written in an elegant cursive hand.

"Dear Lady Drezebel:

I apologize for not sending you a wedding present previously, but I trust that you will find what I have made up for you an equal recompense.

The boxes within contain a number of ordinary-looking items— from bottles of soda to a 'diary'— that have been rigged to enwrap anyone who uses them in tentacles after a short delay. (Now aren't you glad you read the letter first?)
The smallest box contains a control unit and receiver. The former allows you control over the tentacles of any of the items, and is easily concealable on your person; as for the latter, a high-quality covert imaging system has been embedded in each of the aforementioned items, allowing you to record and view the resulting commotions from any angle.

I hope you enjoy the gifts— I would be quite happy to know your opinion of them if it is not too much trouble.

Wishing you a happy (though belated) wedding,

Jane Narbon"

Drezebel stared at the letter for a few seconds. Then, she started digging through the boxes, in an excited manner reminiscent of a kid going through a candy store.

Several Hours Later

When Richard came in the door, Lady Drezebel was putting the finishing touches on her... er, 'work of art'. Of the crate and its contents, there was no sign.

"Hi!" Lady D said, getting up from her easel. "Want a soda?"

And far away, Jane relaxed in her boudoir, smiling. She could feel the chaos spreading...

"My conscience is feeling all prickly."
"A bit of absolute power can remedy that."
Kid Radd

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2010 8:38 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 1301
Location: Xyon City
A shard of inspiration struck me.

Somewhere Else

A man, little older than a young adult, sat in a darkened room. A spotlight shone on him.

From out of the darkness, a thunderous voice came:

The man replied, "What do you mean? I was kidnapped and brought here, and now you ask me..."




The man sat a bit straighter. "No! I don't watch movies, anyway."


"What use do I have for those?"


"Nope! Don't listen to music, either. Heck, I don't really have uses for music."


"I've got more or less everything I want out of life on that account."


The man smiled. He knew he probably shouldn't be answering, but he really couldn't resist.
"Books," he said.


"Oh, just some basic stuff... Plato— I know it's under the Timeless Estate license, but... and a few philosophers. And some books about intellectual property law."

Silence. After a short time, the man behind the microphone (that was creating the thunderous voice) turned to another man.

"Search his house. Go over everything. I think we may have an anarchist on our hands!"


Welcome to the promised LAN.

 Post subject: Re: Tales of Madness
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 3:51 pm 
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
Brilliant (but still Mad) Scientist
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Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:52 pm
Posts: 618
Location: Two steps ahead of you
OK, it's not exactly mad science, but there's still lots of sci-fi material in it. This is the script for an RPG I'm working on making with Hawkwolf titled Planet Ship 008. It's mostly a sci-fi action/mystery... a bit genre mixing. Any critiques or ideas are appreciated.

Scene 1(A cliff face where many laborers are chipping away at rocks)

Guard 1:You! Get back to work! You already had a break only an hour ago! Next one’s not until lunch!

Guard 2:Quit talking! This isn’t social hour you maggots!

Prisoner 1: Awww, c’mon I’m working! Can’t I talk too?

Guard 2: What was that? You want punishment for your crimes? Well I can help with that!*electrocutes prisoner 1*

Prisoner 1: Auugh!*collapses*

Guard 2: Now get back to work!

+++Pan to the edge of the cliff where three prisoners are standing together and working.

Friend 1(Bob): Geeze, they get more and more strict every day.

Friend 2(Casey): Hrm…Yeah.

Friend 3(Davis): It seems to be stress, they’re pressured about something and they’re taking it out on us.

Bob: The why isn’t important Davis. What’s important is that we need to get the heck out of this place.

Davis: I disagree. Knowing their motives is just as important as escaping. But since escaping is more likely than finding out the source of their stress, we should discuss that.

Bob: So…I’m right. Planning the escape is the most important thing here.

Davis: Yes, but for the wrong reason.

Bob: Still right.

Davis: For the wrong reason.

Bob: Yeah… still right.

Davis: It doesn’t matter! You came to the proper conclusion, but through the improper means!

Bob: Again, I’m right.

Casey: *steps between Bob and David*Stop it you two.

Davis/Bob: Fine.

Davis: In any case, the escape plan.

Davis: Every day the guards change shifts at 04:00, 08:00, 12:00, 16:00, and 20:00. Now they usually change every four hours, but the 20:00 group doesn’t change until 04:00, eight hours. That’ll be our best chance to escape.

Bob: But we’re locked in the dorm overnight. Unless you’ve got a key ca- *Davis holds something up* When’d you swipe that?

Davis: On the way up here. When I ‘tripped’ and ran into the guard. He’ll probably think he just dropped it somewhere on the way here.

Casey: Good. When do we leave?

Davis: It’ll have to be soon, they change keycards every other week.

Bob: I vote tonight.

Davis: I would say that’s impatient of you, and that there’s no way we could finish all the prep work in one day, but Casey and I already finished.

Bob: Huh? Why didn’t anyone tell me?

Davis: Because you’d rush.

Bob: C’mon, that’s not true!

Davis: “I vote tonight” remember?

Bob: Hmph, I would have waited if it was necessary.

Davis: And told all your girlfriends about it in the process to brag.

Bob: Would not!

Casey: Liar.

Bob: Fine! Fine. Whatever. So we leave tonight.

Davis: Tonight.

Guard1: You three! No talking!

===Later That Night===

*Davis Bob and Casey sneak through the halls*

Bob:*whispering* Never been to this section of the building…

Davis:*Whispering*Keep it down …

Guard:*walking down the hall*

*the three hide around a corner*

Davis:*whispering* There are more out than there should be…

Casey:*whisper* Maybe they suspect an escape?

Davis:*whisper*… It seems that way…

Guard:*shouts* Three missing from the dormitory!

Bob:*whisper* Gee, you think?

Davis:*whisper* Dammitdammitdammitdammitdammit

Casey:*whisper* Just keep moving.

*the three keep moving until they come to a door and enter to avoid a few guards*

Bob: *whispering* Damn that was close.

Davis:*walks past Bob* Yes it was. Now keep moving.

*PLAYER explores the room, which is crowded with junk. Eventually finding a hidden door which leads to a much more pristine looking room with tons of boxes and containers*

Bob: Ok…a storage room…Now what?

Davis: We look for something to help us escape.

Casey: I’ll guard the door.

*player control. Explore room, find a lot of high tech maintenance equipment. And eventually several suits*

Davis: These are odd… but they seem to be armored at least, that might help if we have to make a run for it.

Bob: I found a few tools, and they look pretty heavy duty.*holding up a steel saw…accidentally turns it on and drops it.* Oops.

Guard:*shouting* I heard something over this way!

Davis: Wonderful… Well suit up and grab something that looks dangerous.

*everyone in a suit*

Davis:*picks up a arc welder* -!- Huh? That should not be that light.

Bob/Casey:*pick up a bolt gun and steel saw* -!-

Davis: Okay… so these suits give enhanced strength? OK, right… That works.

Guard:*bursts in* Found ‘em! *battle start.*

===After Battle===

Davis: Wow… am I the only one that noticed that being shot wasn’t very effective?

Bob: Nope, I definitely noticed that… This. Is. So. COOL!

Casey: No time to celebrate.

Davis: Right. Grab what you can and we leave.

*player control: Go through the building to escape.*


*still player control: Move through guards to the fence*

Bob:*tears fence down* I love these suits!

Davis: But why are they here? And who made them? I’ve never seen anything like this. Even the stuff I managed to steal from the warden’s office never mentioned anything like this.

*The three walk over a rise*

All three:-!-

Bob: Uhm… that’s fairly intimidating…

Davis: That was over the hill the whole time?

*pan to show a big wall in the distance*

Bob: Now what? I don’t think this thing can tear down that…

Casey: There’s a building at the center.

Davis: So, we head through there then.

*the three head down the hill to the building in the wall*

===At the door to the building===

Bob:*pulling on Door* OK, I’m not getting anywhere with this.

Davis: Hmmm…*examines computer panel at the door* *suit beeps. <Unauthorized alteration of base code. Resetting to default.>*

Computer:<Welcome maintenance crew 00037-A. Access granted>*doors open*

Bob: Nice trick. How’d you get it to do that Davis.

Davis: I didn’t. It did it on it’s own.

Bob:… so, how’d it do that?

Davis: I don’t know that either…

Bob: Least useful genius ever.

*all three enter*

(A large number of guards inside)
Wall Guard1: Shit. They got through the door!

Wall Guard2: And the automated defenses are all down!

Wall Guard3: Automated defenses or not, we have to stop them!

*player control: battle.*

*after battle*

Bob: Ok, these guys are tough.

Davis: It looks like they’ve got similar suits to ours… just more worn out.

Bob: Yay, guys with super suits too. This escape just gets better and better all the time.

*player control: explore base until they find the exit.*

*outside back door*

*Giant exosuit and several guards approach*

Gsuit: All you three! No one attacks members of the ring guard without consequence!

Bob: Ring guard? Who’s that

Davis: Well the warden’s files briefly mentioned a group called the ring guard, but only that they would sent ‘soldiers on probation’ to work as guards.

Gsuit: Wait, you’re the ones that hit the work camp earlier? Even more reason to put you down.

*player control: battle*

*after battle. More guards approaching*

All three:*running*

Casey:*turns around* Keep running, I’ll hold them off.

Bob/Davis:*stop running*

Davis: Are you crazy! There’s no way we’ll just leave you behind!

Bob: You heard the lady! *grabs Davis*

Davis: You ass, let me go!

Bob: Shut up Davis, Casey knows what she’s doing.

Bob:*drags Davis off*


Bob/Davis:*walking in silence*

Bob:*stops, while Davis keeps walking* -!-

Davis:*turns around* What’s with you?

Bob: Look at that. The grass just stops over there…

Davis:-?-*walks to edge of grass* Huh, odd. *steps over edge of grass.*

Suit:<Oxygen level at 100% Approximately twenty four hours of oxygen.>

Davis:-?- Oxygen levels? Ok, so there’s no air on this side of the grass?


Bob: Now what?

Davis: We don’t have much choice, this goes on in both directions. I’d say we see if we can find the edge, but we may have to head in.


Davis/Bob:*still walking*

Davis: well it’s got a curve to it, but it’s a wide curve and I can hear those ring guard guys coming this way.

Bob: So we have to head into the place with no air.

Davis: Well, hopefully it’ll deter them from following us.

Bob: Gah, why can’t we catch a break.

Davis: We’re escaping from a prison, did you expect it to be easy?

Bob: No, but I figured we’d either get out in a couple hours or be dead in that time. It’s been eight hours and we’re still being chased.

Davis: Yes, well we aren’t the ones who got to decide that, so keep moving.

*the two walk into the grassless area*

*guards approach*

Guard1:They went in? That’s suicide.

Guard2: Well, they might just try to come out somewhere else.

Guard captain: Set up a perimeter. If they come out, I want them captured!
Guards: Yes sir!*leave*

===later, inside the airless area. ===

*Davis and Bob walk through the desolate landscape until they come to some odd carvings on a hill, just before the dirt gives way to metal*

Davis: Fascinating, I’ve never seen anything like these…

Bob: Don’t care, I don’t want to suffocate, so let’s keep moving. OK?


Both:*reach the metal section*

Bob: Now what? A metal floor? Why’s there a metal floor?

Davis:…I don’t know.

Bob: Dammit, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.

Davis: Shut up! None of this has ever been mentioned in anything I’ve read! None of it! The ring guard was barely mentioned, the dead zone nothing! These suits, nothing! Being smart doesn’t mean I know everything automatically dammit!

Bob: Fine, fine. Calm down. Do you at least have any guesses?

Davis:*sigh* I don’t know… The technology required to create a stable vacuum alone is beyond anything I’ve ever read about. The only thing I have enough proof to make a guess on is that this vacuum is spherical in shape. Walking along the edge of the vacuum I could ascertain that it had a definite curve and a sphere does provide the strongest structural support. And judging from the curve I’d say it’s around twenty kilometers across.

Bob: So, do we have enough air to get out of here?

Davis: yeah, we should, assuming we don’t run into too large of an obstacle.

Robot:*approaches* Attention, you are not authorized to enter this area. If you do not leave, you will be considered a threat to repair work and will be neutralized.

Bob: Is that a large obstacle?

Davis:*sigh* Probably…

Robot: Attention, you have ten seconds to turn back, or you will be neutralized.

Davis: We can’t go back.

Robot: Subject refuses to vacate premises. Neutralizing.

===player control: battle===
===after battle===

Bob: Ok, and now there are robots…

Davis: *sigh* Nothing to do, but keep moving and hope we find something that gives us a hint as to what’s going on.

===Player Control: Explore area===


Davis:*steps forward and floor collapses out from under him*

Bob*runs over to edge of hole* Davis! You ok?!

Davis:*from inside hole* … Well nothing’s broken…

Bob: Can you get out?

Davis: Maybe…*jumps but not high enough.* Apparently not.

Bob: Do you have a rope?

Davis:… No.

Bob: Why not? That’s like the most basic of the basics!

Davis: Yeah, well I don’t have any.

Bob: Ok. Well I’ll see if I can find anything that’ll work, you try and climb out.

Davis: Right.

Bob:*walks off screen*

Robots:*approach hole and climb in*

Bob:*in next screen. Walks towards the top after checking some things. Stops at the top.* -!-

Camera:*pan up to show giant hole in the ground, show planet and stars in hole*

Bob: What. The…?

Camera:*fade to black*

Screen: End Prologue.

"When you have to shoot, shoot, don’t talk" -Tuco, The Good the Bad and the Ugly

10 ghost tackles.

DOOM! and DR.KINESTRO! are both trademarks of the Kinestro co. and are not to be used, displayed, shouted, written, or thought without express permission of the Kinestro co. Perpetrators will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, then dealt with personally by DR.KINESTRO!(tm).

Last edited by Demothesis on Mon May 24, 2010 4:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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