Comics by Shaenon II

"Wanted-Drivers. Must have experience with mad tech. Mechanical skills a plus. Will train those with sufficient aptitude, but if you don't have a good grounding in the field, don't waste my time. Hench, Mad or Sane-but acrophobes need not apply. Pay commiserant with experience. Stop by Atomic Motors to schedule an interview."
Kid Atomic reads it over, nods, and hands it to the barista. "Post that for me, will ya, babe?"
"Eddie, aren't you busy enough? You build them, sell them-heck, M requires you to certify and license each buyer, so you have to train them-and now a taxi service? Not to mention taking on a hench." Desdemona sighs, but tacks up the notice.
Kid Atomic grins. "Same ad went to the fish wrappers this morning. And I'm goin' to amble on over to M, post one there. And Laitu? Little hepcat's an apprentice. Kid's got potential."
Affectionate pride fills his voice. He'd thought her just a cute kid who liked bikes-but Laitu surprised him with her intuitive grasp of mechanics. Teaching her is a pleasure. Now, if he could just get her to quit calling him Master...
"Stubborn." Desdemona shakes her head. "Eddie, this isn't because of the wedding, is it?"
The cocky James Dean smile softens briefly. "No, I've been plannin' this gig for a while now. I make enough mazuma with the wheels, but as you so accurately sum it up, it's time consuming. Don't mistake me-I dig what I do, and make them pay through the nose for the privilege. But I've kept my lamps open-there's plenty who want to travel in style, but can't afford one of my babies. Or they just aren't the type to be trusted with one without crashing it. Or have the dough, but plain can't be bothered-you got your mad biologist, maybe she likes the ride, but learning how to handle a rocket isn't in her skill set, and takes away time from the lab, too. So, Atomic Taxi. Want to impress a date, or get to a meeting in style, or just like the speed? Heh. They'll pay a premium for the flashy ride, too. Yeah, I'll be busy getting it...off the ground."
The cocky grin returns, as he's thwaped on the arm.
"But Mona, once this is set up, it's going to be sweet. I'll be free to spend more time on the custom work-which is what I dig the most, and by a most happy coincidence, make the most at. See?"
Desdemona nods. He has planned this out..."You know your insurance is going to go through the roof, don't you?"
"Thus my being more than particular about who I hire. Don't sweat it, baby, already had a meeting with M and the accountant. We figured out which hoops to jump through to keep it manageable." He picks up his to go cup with one hand, while the other gently raises her hand to his lips.
"Mmwah. Later, beautiful."

He leans against his personal rocket bike for a minute, watching Desdemona through the front window. Just for a moment.
Anyone familiar with old cinema will think of teen rebel archtypes, or if they're really into history, Buck Rogers. And smile, perhaps a little amused, before they pass. Not that he'd care. A freshly mad teen, landing suddenly and alone in decades in the future? To get where he is now, there's steel under the schtick.
No one hears him quote softly to himself, "She walks in beauty, like the night. Of cloudless climes and starry skies, And all that's best of dark and bright, Meets in her aspect and her eyes ..."
He chugs his triple espresso mocha, then speeds off, a lance of atomic fire trailing behind him.

A taxi was entering the city from the North. As it passed a large sign, before going under a bridge, it's occupants read it.

Welcome to Xylon, City o[obliterated by huge scorchmark]. Enjoy yo[unreadable due to same scorchmark].

Axel was thinking "This is gonna be the best holiday ever!"
Sarah was suddenly struck by a massive sense of foreboding.
Damien was muttering over and over to himself under his breath.
"Only three weeks, It's only for three weeks, we're only staying here three weeks, she'll pick us up in three weeks..."
Maybe if he said it enough times he'd believe it.

"So, why are we in this dump, again?" asked Axel, looking at the peeling wallpaper and damp patches on the ceiling.
"Because this was the cheapest place that didn't have some kind of mad scientist's runaway experiment in it." sighed Damien. "And it still wasn't that cheap."
"Kunda gave us an infinite credit card! We could be swanning it up at a poolside penthouse with a minibar right now! So, why are we in this dump again, again?"
At that point Sarah, came in, carrying the bags. "Thanks for waiting, guys, not. Next time you can carry your own - Why are there holes in the floor?"
"Mice." said Damien.
"Unless they have cat-sized mice here, which I wouldn't entirely be surprised at, then I'm the Queen of England." Damien ignored her.
"Axel, do you want to crash the economy of this city?" Behind him, Sarah facepalmed.
Axel grinned. "Is this a trick question?"
"... yeeeeeah. Didn't think that one through. Okay, how about this - if we keep spending money with out any apparent source of income, it will attract unwanted attention. The more we spend, the faster this will happen." Sarah facepalmed again.
"What if we tell them we're drug dealers?"
"That would very probably not help at all." He turned to Sarah. "Help me out here."
She walked past him to the nearest bedroom. "Nope. I need a shower. Bye."
Damien scowled. "Okay, you know what? I hold the pursestrings. My decision. Live with it."
"You're no fun at all."
"Fish and chips for dinner."
"Yay! You're fun again!"
"Get off me! And what's wrong with my cooking?"

-Inside Axel and Sarah's hotel room-

(My apologies for this, Sarah. It's very silly. Regardless...)



The chairs and tables in the room began to tremble as...

"...Did... someone... say... cooking?"

Straight through the closet door burst a man. A man wearing a frilly chef's hat, an apron that could only be described as ornate, as well as a pair of relatively burn and acid resistant pants. Strapped to his back was an entire set of portable cooking apparatuses, including a lovingly well-maintained set of cooking knives, a wok, and a number of rare and exotic spices. The man stood 5 feet tall but looked taller due to the way he carried himself.

"You!" He pointed at Sarah. "Am I to presume you dabble in the art of cookery?" He folded his arms. "My name is Tak Shing. Traveling Mad Chef and disciple of the Path of True Flavor! You, who are new to this region of the world... have you the bravery to accept my challenge to a proper cooking battle?"

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-Natalie-

Natalie got about 15 feet before she realized that something was following her. She turned around to realize that the armor Loki made was following her. She looked back at it and glared. "You. Stop that."

She kept walking, only to realize that it didn't have any intention of leaving her alone. She scowled. "Ok. A bit more bluntly, then." She swung her sledgehammer at it, sending it flying. Only to start slowly hovering back towards her. She scowled. "Darn it!" As it drew near, Natalie hefted her hammer back for another swing.

The spectacle was enough to attract on-lookers. Who were suddenly a bit surprised when a little green blob resting between Natalie's... tracts of land... started growling at them. It was surprising enough to cause a watching biker to crash straight into a tree.

Axel opened his mouth, smiling. Damien, after staring at the strange man, spotted this, and clapped his hand over Axel's mouth.
"I know what you're thinking. No closet jokes."
Axel rolled his eyes. "Mph."
Sarah folded her arms.
"My cousin's the cooker, not me."

Damien groaned.
"I don't know if it's possible to have dimension-lag, but I have it and as a result I am tired and grumpy and the reason I suggested takeaways was to AVOID COOKING TODAY!"
Axel looked back and forth between the chef and Damien.
"Does this mean no fish and chips?"
"Shut up. However, I can't refuse a challenge. I just ask that we postpone it until I'm at by best. Also, I have no ingredients..."
Sarah wandered off to unpack at this point.

-Tak Shing-

He frowned. "...very well then..."

He crossed his arms and sat down. "Then I shall wait here, until you are properly prepared for our most epic of confrontations. Do not dally, young watercress."

Tak Shing sat there, apparently meditating, showing apparently no sign of any intention of leaving or being evacuated.

Axel grinned again.
"How long do you think he's gonna sit there for?"
Damien sighed, scratching his head. "As long as he's quiet, I don't care. And I can see this turning out like the incident with the Palace Guard and the Sharpie, so I'm forestalling it right now by telling you not to."
"Not even a little -"
"No."
Axel shut up.

Damien went towards the door.
"Now, I'm going to get the takeaways. Don't wreck the place while I'm gone. See ya."
And he was gone, muttering something that sounded a lot like "damn Mads."

Axel looked around the room. Sarah and Damien were gone. The strange cooking guy was completely unresponsive to whatever he did. Besides, the only way he could make the hotel room any worse than it was would be to use a wrecking ball. That might actually be an improvement...

In a cafe in downtown Xyon, a thought popped into a lawyer's head. He turned to his partner and whispered conspiratorially. "Did you hear? That crazy hench is in town. You know the one."
The other's eyes widened. "Him?"
The first lawyer nodded. His friend let out a low whistle.

The crazy hench in question had far simpler ideas popping into his head. Something along the lines of, 'I'm naked, and I need coffee. Pants first, or caffeine?'
Pants won.
Barely.

Rumor yawned as he prepared his coffee, wearing black sweats and his one of his Dr. Io t-shirts. That was the easy part of his day. Things went bad fast.

It's a well known fact that henches pick up things that once belonged to their former employers. The coffee cup that Rumor was holding was one of those objects. Its previous owner, Dr. Silverfoot, was absolutely inept at inventing anything other than teleporters. So, rather than learning to make other inventions, he just made teleporters.
Lots.
Of.
Teleporters.

And so, that's the story of how Rumor ended up in the kitchen of a dingy hotel room, staring at Axel with a blank look on his face, and a total lack of weapons. This was a tricky situation that would require his greatest negotiating skills.
"Hi."
Smooooth.

Axel looked up as another strange guy suddenly appeared in the room.
"Hi."
Here was a new friend/distraction/someone to annoy/have fun with!
"Hi!" he said cheerily. "Do want to throw knives at the wall with me? Oh, wait, hang on."
He rummaged through one of the bags that Sarah had left on the floor, pulling out a thick, obviously well used binder. He flicked through it hurriedly.
"Can't do that, can't do that, he said he'd kill me if I did that again... Ah, here we go. "No throwing knives at people", but there's nothing in here about walls or... other... inanimate objects."
He started rummaging through the kitchen drawers.
"Bonus points if you can get one to "accidently" ricochet and hit that guy!" he said, pointing to Tak Shing, who to his credit gave no indication he'd heard.
Whistling, Axel started to gouge a target into the wall, watched by a sorely caffiene deprived Rumor.

Sparky makes sure that her collar is secure-after all, it's hard for a green, six legged, two tailed, pony sized dog to avoid animal control. Oh, she's registered at M as a sentient lifeform, but why tempt fate?
And she's bored. It's quiet without Chic around. She's played catch with Mecha, and had a fun time learning the intricacies of Cripple Mr. Onion with Godfrey. Who knew the AI was so good at cards? She's sent an email to Archimedes, asking if he could come to Xyon sometime. It'd be such fun to see him again! They could hang out, she could show him around...maybe they could even chase Khan!
But for now she trots purposefully up to the window of the city's newest takeout place, Fission Chips. Her tails wag happily at the delicious smells. Ooh, it's Cold Fusion Cod night! Yay!

Rumor looked down, then proceeded to down the scalding coffee in one gulp. "#$%^!"
Yep. He was awake. He tossed the mug aside and watched it disappear into thin air.
"Okay, assuming that I wasn't injected with something, or placed into some psychotic dream state, I might as well get some knife practice in. It never hurts." He frowned. "Unless physics are being bent. Then the knife usually ends up in my face. You're not bending physics, are you?
He hoped not. He always had to wrack his brain to engage in mind bending battles of wit this early in... whatever time it was.

He sighed and started tossing knives with Axel, running through his daily mental check.

Alive? Check.
Not captured? Seems so.
Still have all my limbs? Check.
Still have that strange feeling that everyone seems to be thinking about me? Check.
Ready for action? HAHAHAHA.
No.

Sarah was singing. It wasn't one song, it was many sort of smooshed together, flowing into one another, lyrics made up or not there at all in places. It echoed. It was nicely counterpointed by the running water.
It was, in short, like every other shower song ever.

"~ mmna na da da de da, by the beach, life's a -" Kthunk. She stopped, puzzled. What was that sound? She waited, but nothing happened further. Oh well.

"~ la la la, just shut up, your name's not enouuugh, to something something something meeeeee!~"

Kthunk.
Kthunk.

Okay, whatever that was could wait until she'd finished.

Kthunk. Clatter. Smash. Kthunk. Kthunk. Angry cat noise. "Woohoo!" Kthunk.

Sarah kept singing, as the noises kept coming, wishing they would have some kind of rhythm.

Splortch. Scream.

Let Damien handle it.
...Now how does that song go?

-Sarcastic's pretty bad day-

She chased after the villian who had started all the hullaballoo in the Xyon City University's Physics lab, Der Sabintiger, with a little pink blob-thing riding on her shoulder, cheering excitedly and waving little arm-nubs at her.

Der Somethingorother looked back at her. "Who the heck are you? What's with that silly costume? Sheesh, will you people let me go already?"

Sarcastic scowled. "GRR! You're way too annoying to get away with this stuff!" She pounced, slamming into his back, knocking him over.

Der Sabintiger scowled. "Hey! Get off me!" He kicked... "You have no idea what I'm capable of!"

Sarcastic sighed. "Oh yeah? What are you capable of?"

Der Sabintiger whipped out a raygun, pointing it at her. "This!" He fired... "Feel the wrath of my TIGER RAY!"

Brizzap!

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-Svafa-

"Oh, golly... are you waiting for me?" She looked at Liam. "Err... I just sorta figured you could just undo whatever it was from here... Uh, alright.... I guess I'll just have to..." She started floating and floated over to him, taking him up in her arms and lifting them both off the ground. "Ok... I guess we'll have to go see my "sister" then, I guess." She sounded a bit uneasy, mostly because she and the other Valkyrie, Brynhildr, got along poorly at the best of days. "Uh... ok... this is gonna get kinda fast for a little while, so just try to hang on, ok?"

As the two of them started taking off, Natalie walked past on her way back from the Physics lab. She looked up at the sight, instantly frowning.

Natalie's chest growled at the two strangers as she watched them fly off.

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-Tak Shing-

He opened an eye as the two other men began to practice their knife throwing around him. "....what is this? Is that intended to be knifeplay?" He looked at the knives. Then, he reached slowly, deliberately, into his pocket and withdrew...

...an orange.

He tossed the orange up into the air, and stood up slowly. In a quick, flourish of a movement, he drew forth a cooking knife from the supplies on his back. "Cooooooookiiiiing isssssssssss PASSION" He screeched as the knife danced through the air, flurrying around the orange. Pieces of orange peel scattered in the air, spattering around the room, pieces of orange rind getting everywhere.

And landing on the ground, in a neat circle, were perfectly-even orange slices. Tak Shing looked at Rumor and Damien. "You do not take proper care of your utensils, young chefs! Throwing perfectly good knives at things is only going to dull the blades. A true chef mustn't waste their tools away like that, understand?" He bent over and picked up the orange slices, offering one to each of them. "Orange slice?"

While Damien's brain goes Holy crap a giant green talking dog! Where's the exit?, and then shuts down, his mouth goes on autopilot.
"Sorry. I was just wondering if I should eat stuff that comes from a place with "Chernobyl Special" on the menu."
Sparky grins, exposing yet more fangs.
"Yuuurrr new in towwwn, rrrright?"
"Me and my cousin and my roommate, yeah." He turns to the person behind the counter. "Two scoops of chips, three fish, please." They bustle away. He looks at Sparky. "Want me to get you anything?"

Did I just offer to buy food for a talking dog? And I thought hanging out with Axel made my life weird.

MEANWHILE IN XYON CITY ...very little time shenanigans were occurring, indeed, at all. Aside of course from the somewhat nonsensical chronodaisies- which began life withered in a pot, and ended it as seeds. However, time it's self occurred as normal.

It is a sort of variation on the theme to the tune of: 'If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound'?

Ignoring the nonsense of any tree truly not having a listener available to attend to it (as well as the possibility that in such a scenario, abiding by quantum physics, it might very well make any sound it likes), something similar occurs within a story. Which is to say: If time passes, and no one is there to see it, does it still affect the plot?

And so here we have a useful week or two of time- between when the Big Names of Xyon have mostly all gone off to Europea, and when they will arrive back. In the meantime, things are happening, cooking duels are occurring, rumors spreading, and some possible candidates for the Big Wahoonis in Xyon are arriving...

((Heya folks! This is the Story B thread as outlined in the Mad Lounge- for the new folks to setle into the game without things getting confusing in the main game, and for mucking about in Xyon during the time the Usual Suspects are inoccupado. Once the current chapter is sewn up, the two threads will be merged. One cannon, two threads- and one Storyteller with a lot less confusion. Have fun! ))

Sparky grins at Damien, wagging her tails happily. "Aww, thanks! Thaaat's rrreally nice rof you!" She trots up to the counter. "Fourrr orrrders of fish, extrra rrradium, an' hold th' chips, please."
Sparky holds out her front paw. "Name's Sparky! Nice t' meet rryou! Arrre rryou on vacaation?" Hmm...she should do something for him, since he bought the fish. "rrI have some free timme-th' mad rrI live with is on vacaaation. If ryou need someone t' shoow rhyu arround, or if rhyu have any questions rbout Xyyon, rrI can help!"

Damien shook the paw and bought a newspaper while he waited.
"Thanks for the offer...pay to know what you're getting into. How good are you at keeping mads harmlessly distracted? I could use some free time. Of course, that's if you want to."
Meanwhile he was thinking Radium? You know, that explains a lot...
"By the way, the cold nose trick? Really? That was low."

-Sarcastic's Continuing Bad Day-

Brizzap!

"Mwahahahahahahaaaa! How do you like my Tiger Ray, Lady Dame Superhero!?"

Der Sabintiger looked up, cackling madly. Where Sarcastic HAD been pinning him down before, there was now a giant apex predator feline with a weight somewhere in the light 400s. Ruby, who was sitting between the tiger's ears, squee'd. Der Sabintiger grinned. "Victory is mine! I'll just use my everpresent natural affinity with all felines and-"

The Sarcastiger growled. "<Shaddup and put that away.>" With one fierce paw-bat, she knocked the Tiger Ray away from him, where it slid onto a nearby road and got ran over by a passing truck, destroying it instantly. She snarled at him.

Der Sabintiger looked terrifed. "Err...crap! I never got around to developing an everpresent natural affinity with all felines! HELP!"

People around looked at the scene. And here's where it went all pear-shaped.

Sarcastic Female NPC is a woman with what is known in the medical community as a "Supernatural Disorder", a condition where she has a mild yet life-changing scientific or supernatural disability which affects aspects of her day-to-day life. In her particular case Sarcastic suffers from what is known as "Clark Kent" syndrome: Even the slightest change to her physical appearance makes her look completely unrecognizable to anyone looking at her. Being changed into a tiger hadn't gotten rid of that. People gasped in horror.

"Like, ohmygawd! That man's being attacked by a tiger! A nonsentient one! LIke, ohmygawd!"
"Someone call animal control!"
"That thing's a maneater! Everyone on Xyon Campus! PANIC!"
"Where's that superhero chick?!? She'll save us!"
"Eh, it's probably another mad scientists' creation rampaging. Someone from Interpol will throw a rock at it or something."

Sarcastiger looked up on shock. "<Wait! But I'm actually stopping the badguy!>" Unfortuantely, Sarcastic Female NPC in a tiger's form no longer had the ability to speak like a human... and since she'd spent her whole life as a human, didn't know anything about speaking feline.

And then things got ugly as Animal Control arrived on the scene with tranquilizer darts and shooting guns...

As a Sarcastiger was hauled away, two onlookers watched, confused. Could these two gentlemen be those who would save the poor transmogrified damsel in distress?

Khan, who was himself a sentient talking tiger, looked up at Ryan, who was an ordinary human. "Wait, who was that babe the pigs just dragged off?"

Ryan licked his ice cream cone. "Khan, that was probably a nonsentient tiger. Are you even attracted to those?"

Khan shook his head. "Aaaah.... no, not really. Shame, though. She was cute."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "I'm not even sure I want to know what criteria you use to evaluate that..."

...perhaps not. Alas, poor Sarcastic... what will happen to you now?

Ruby 'Eeeee'd happily, clinging to a furry ear. She giggled- having acquired a pair of orange and black tiger ears from being so close to the ray. this was the best day *ever*! Only now people sure were awful loud... she concentrated, and poofed a collar onto place, with a little jingly bell and a name tag- reading, clearly, 'NPC'.

Sparky has the grace to look sheepish. "Well, it got yourrr attention. And, surre I can! It's been kinda quiet, wi' Chic gone."

"Chic?"

"My mad. Well, kind of. She tech'ncly has rrepsonsibility forrr me, even though rrI'm a rregistered sentient lifeforrm...gives me a few extrra layers rof prrotection. S'why I wearrrr a collar. Suure, I'm on file as sennntient at M, but animal contrrolll gets a little overrrzealous. They tend t' shoot first, check forr awareness later."

How true that is...

Damien files that under "useful to know".
He watches with vague concern as someone sprinkles a blue-green glowing substance on some fish. Isn't that dangerous? I'd hate to come in here with a Geiger counter.
The person behind the counter hands him the packets and he pays with the credit card.
"Here you go."
"Thank rrrou."

Meanwhile!
"I wanna try that!" goes Axel. He grabs an orange and goes crazy at it with a knife. This results in orange going everywhere. Tak Shing makes a disparaging noise at the carnage. Rumor, knowing about accepting food from Mads, declines.

Double meanwhile!
Kunda is looking at an odd sort of map. The lines seem to float above and within the page. They shift without apparently moving. Look at it too long and your eyes start to water. She turns it around, frowning.
"You sure this is the place?" A robotic dog is lying on the ground next to her with a bored expression.
"Shush."
"Ah. So you aren't."
"No, it's just that it keeps moving. It shouldn't do that."
"So where is it now?"
"Mechanicsburg..."

This is what happens when I don't grab my gun as soon as I get out of bed.

Rumor sighed and grabbed an orange, tossing several knives at it, cutting it into one square, one rhombus, one trapezoid, and one pentagon, which fell to the table, surrounded by a perfect circle formed by the other small bits of rind and orange. The knives were lodged in the wall, still having had enough force to cause serious damage. He took a quick bow, then started looking for escape options.

Must get out. Only one cup of coffee in system. Brain shutting down.

Damien bids goodbye to Sparky and walks back to the hotel.
When Damien walks in the door, he stops.
"Axel, is this like the time you decided ordinary blenders were for wusses?"
"Well, actually..." starts Axel, but Damien cuts him off.
"Rhetorical questions, Axel. Learn to recognize them."
It's after he's put the fish and chips on the kitchen bench that he notices the second new thing in the room. He says nothing, but walks back over to the open door.
"Why, goodness me, it's a door. Do you know why doors were invented? To keep random people from wandering in. They don't seem to be very good at that, but maybe they're better at letting random people out?", he says, with a pointed glance at Rumor.
Axel giggles.

Sparky-
Has scarfed down her fish and chips, and is currently roaming around Xyon. And Damien wants her to help distract a mad later! Sounds like fun. Beats staying home and updating her facebook page. Well, he has her cell!

Between the mads and the college students, Desdemona is having a busy day at the Coffee 'N Toffee. The sweet smell of caffine is doing its usual job of luring passersby into the shop. Hmm, and it looks like Kid Atomic's ad has drawn some interest already...

Speaking of Kid Atomic, he doesn't even slow down for the animal control van currently blocking the street, but smoothly shifts gears and takes to the sky again. Idly glancing down, he sees two officers struggling under the weight of a tiger. Eh, nothing unusual there. Might as well make a run to Mad Sci 'R Us and stock up.

It's a pretty quiet day at The Library, too. Perhaps a bit unusually for a college library, it's open to students from both universities, as well as the town in general-but Redding students and staff have priority.
Farnsworth's new assistant librarian is doing a decent job of keeping order while the jaegerbrarian is on vacation. Zia has successfully arbitrated a dispute between two senior faculty on which one gets to reserve the Alexandria wing for a seminar, she's calmly remonstrated with the obsteporous ghost in section B-11, and there's only been one hooligan suspended in a net over the tiger pits so far.
Everyone knows Zia Vecchio, the perennial student. She is one course shy of a degree for every program the college offers, and several they don't-but gave that up for reasons of her own to become the new assistant. Looks like a twenty something woman with long black hair, and has for some time. Rumor abounds as to what exactly she is, but she isn't saying.
No one has ever thought to ask Mavis, the Library's resident AI.
Or Dr. Minerva Dries, the mad librarian who created this, the world's largest library, before retiring to Mechanicsburg. Who collected. every. book.
Not that either one would answer.

-Natalie-

As she was walking, a friend of hers passed by on a bike. He waved. "Hey Natalie!"

From between her bosoms, there was a loud, fierce "Rrrr!" growled out at him

Her friend was so startled he forgot to stop at a crosslight, and triggered a mad stop from oncoming traffic to avoid hitting him.

Natalie kept on walking back towards the dorm room she and her roommate, Sarcastic Female NPC, shared. A teacher of hers passed by, waving casually at her.

From Natalie's cleavage a fierce primal sound echoed back at him. "Rrrrrrrr!" A little green blob sitting between her... tracks of land... waved little arm nubs at the offending teacher, who was so astonished at the sound that he walked into a tree.

She got near her dorm, and as she did, a nearby frat-brother gave her a passing wolf-whistle.

This provoked bouncing and angry flailing of arm-nubs. "RRRRRRRRRRGRRRRRGRRRGRRRRR!" As a little green blob bounced up and bapped the offending man in the forehead, knocking him over on his butt.

This elected a brief smirk from Natalie, who reached down and patted her teeny friends headdish area. "Ok, you're growing on me, little guy. I'ma gonna call you Erik the Green."

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-Tak Shing-



Watching this, Tak Shing laughed. It was a deep, cheerful belly laugh. "Now this one I like. Boy, your skills are a sharp as a well-maintained butcher's knife, but your mind seems as dull and unappetizing as unsauced and overcooked pasta! You'll burn the roast feeling like that!" He patted Rumor on the back. "My cooking battle with these people can wait until tomorrow. Shall I treat you to some of the best coffee in Xyon city? Let me take you to Joes..." He looked over at Damien and Axel. "You two! You must train, for the inevitable clashing of souls and pots and pans must be tomorrow! Pick your style of cuisine of choice, and we shall cross wooden spoons and let the people of Xyon City decide who the greater chef is!"

(OOC: Shall we have a reader-contest? Come the next "day" in game, whoevers dish more people find more appetizing wins a silly award of bragging rights?)

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-The Sarcastiger's ridiculously bad day-

She lay, tranquilized, her mind in a haze, at the back end of a truck, as two animal control workers looked in at her.

"So whose the Mad who owns THIS thing? Awfully normal for a mad rampaging creation, huh? Does it talk?"

"Nah. You're thinking of the tiger who lives on Campus. That Khan guy. I'm not even sure this thing IS a mad's creation."

"Oh yeah... hey, has anyone tried to get that little pink blob-thing off it's head? Now THAT'S got to be a mad scientist's creation."

"Louise tried once at the college."

"What happened?"

"He got Made Over. I don't even know how that thing BRANDISHED a sewing machine, nor how it worked so fast, but he was running away before it got him into the frilly dress but just AFTER the makeup and hair dye. Thing really seems to want to play with the kitty."

"Huh... so where's this tiger going?"

"Well, ordinarily we'd just put it to sleep, since we don't have the facilities to contain a non-sentient tiger for long around here. But it's got a collar, so someone must own it. We're keeping it in the pound overnight to see if anyone comes to claim it, and then if not she's going to the zoo."

"The Zoo, really?"

"Yup. To be put with the Mad Species exhibits. Apparently they still think she's some sort of mad animal."

"Geeze, that's rough. Poor thing. Well, let's get 'er to the pound, then!"

Truck doors were closed and a large truck rolled away.

Rumor shrugged. Whoever'd come back to the hotel room didn't seem to want him there, and he really did want some more coffee. He pointed at Axel. "If you want to talk to me, just... Look for me. It's like a Ouija board sort of thing."

He turned to Tak Shing and grinned. "I could go for a cup of coffee... Or six. Shall we?"

Damien watched them go. "... I can't believe I just did that. I must be really hungry."
Now, how to introduce the subject....
A little winged version of Sarah appeared over his shoulder.
"If you want someone to do something, the best thing to do is let them think it was their own idea."
How, exactly?
"With a contrary person like Axel, letting him think you don't want him to do it would work."
You get scarier every day.
"Just doing my job." The little whateveritwas disappeared.
He pulled the relevant piece of paper out of his pocket, read it, then sighed and tossed it away.
"Well, that's not going to happen."
Axel pounced on the paper. "What? What's not going to happen?"
Damien swiped at the paper and missed. "Nothing! Hey, no! Don't read that!"
Axel pushed him away "Drivers wanted... I could do this!"
Damien finally managed to snatch the paper away. "Well, you're not. Do you even know how to drive? Because just being able to dismantle and reassemble a car doesn't mean you can."
Axel nodded. "Sure! Accelerator, brake, clutch, steering wheel... easy! Please, Damien? Please please please?"
Damien pretended to think about it. "Well..."
"Please!"
"Okay -"
"Yes! Yay!"
" - but only if you talk to me before spending the money you earn."
"Okay!" Axel went off, humming happily. Damien phewed.
"You have learned well, my young padawan." The real Sarah was standing in the doorway, smirking.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Damien said.
"Suuuuure you don't." she said, walking past him. "Now let's eat."

Kid Atomic looks at the eagerly grinning mad in front of him. "So you're new in town? That's cool. You can always just plug the address in the dashboard. And you know cars. But how's your drivin', Slick?"
"I can drive!" Axel makes a move towards a gleaming retro rocket car, and Kid Atomic holds up his hands, laughing.
"Whoa there! You'll get your test drive. With me, dig? You need superlative motoring skills for this gig. And you gotta deal with the masses, mad and sane, that you'd be chauffering."
Kid Atomic shows Axel to the car he has reserved for this. It's a cherry red number, chrome gleaming on the tailfins.
"You drive, I ride-let's see what you can do."

Damien woke up when the sun had gotten to an angle that allowed it to claw at his retinas. He groaned.
Cook off with crazy guy today... I'd completely forgotten.
Drat.

-Axel-
"What do the lights mean? Ooooh! What's that over there?"
Axel is the kind of guy who can pilot anything. Respect or even acknowledge the rules of traffic? Not a chance.

Kid Atomic doesn't turn a hair. "Back to the shop, Slick. Bring her in for a landing." The rocket car barely misses a steeple. Shingles may have been blown loose. Pidgeons may have been left cursing in the distance.
Eventually-
"You're a natural born rocket jockey, no two ways about it." Kid Atomic's mouth twists in a wry grin. "But Axel, you're not cut out to be a chauffeur-type. Ain't happenin'. Tell you what, though-how do you feel about tryin' out for a mechanic?"

Elsewhere-
Joe's Diner is always open for business. And people flock to it. Heroes jostle for space at the counter with villains. Brawls? Not on your life. Nothing more than snarking. No one wants to be banned. That would mean no more pie!
Outside, the neon sign glows. Inside, there are tables, as well as booths with plush 50's leatherette cushions. There's a cleared space for when people get the urge to dance, right by the jukebox. A classic model, all neon and bubbles. Framed pictures of famous mads, good and evil, line the walls. Tables are set with heavy white diner china, and real cokes fizz in old fashioned glasses.
There's a long counter, a row of stools in front of it. Josephine is holding down the fort at the moment. She gives the machine beside her an affectionate pat. Gladys has a red enamel casing, and little lights blink and flash according to her mood. She beeps cheerfully, sounding like the inspiration for R2-D2.
Joe's Diner. Located smack dab between the Hall of Eternal Heroism, and the League of Villains. Best food you'll ever have. Would we lie?
Well. Maybe. But not about that.