Comics by Shaenon II

Ariel: [to Burn] I can guar-an-tea I haven't.

Tyler: [rimshot! he has finished with his song]

Ms. Gunsmith: [smiling grimly] Let's say one-second rounding, since you just used it. Pay up.

Jane: [flapping her arms wildly, still enmeshed with David. Still falling] Lean! Lean!

Neal: *shrugs* While your basis for that statement is frankly ludicrous, it's not worth my time to argue about. I'll mail it to you after I go home, so you should get it in a week or two.

Burn: ...what? You haven't what? *looking at the wrong chapter in her textbook* Why is history so haaaaard?

David: Ow! *Rubs his head* Jane? Ow. You went flying upwards really fast... what's up?

Sarcastic: *To Laitu* You do realize he's a hero in the same sense that John Egbert is, right?

Michael: *To Sarcastic* You do realize she's way too young to get that reference, right?

Sarcastic: So are you, but you got it.

Michael: ...quiet.

Sarcastic So what changes about me anyways? *Takes the list out of Jennifer's hands* ...apparently I no longer have an oversized crossbow. Aw.... I liked that thing.

David: *Fiddling with his robot arm* I THINK there's some feature here that'll keep us from dying... maybe something that slows down the speed of gravity or something? Recalibrates the framithrusters? Toggles the... something? *Presses a button, which results in shooting a puff of confetti and streamers at Jane while they're falling* ...apparently that's the "Party Cannon" feature. Oh hey, did you know this thing has wifi? Wait, what even IS wifi?

Teeny Robotic Catgirl: *Crawling out of Jane's washer, all confused and missing critical files*

Jane: What's up? We are! [grins] I've always wanted to make that joke.

Ariel: [to Burn] If history is hard, have you tried time travel?

Ariel: [to Sarcastic] May I see the list? Perhaps I could read others' destinies upon it.

Ariel: [to Michael] If David is John Egbert, does that make you Dirk Strider?

Ms. Gunsmith: ....how are you talking to three people at once, kid?!

Ariel: [to Ms. Gunsmith] Magic.

Tyler: [has found his way to where Teeny Robotic Catgirl is] Who are you?

Burn: ...how would that help? I've been to Luna and I still don't know anything about their economic or political structures. I don't even know how Mayari runs and that's where I was staying, let alone anything about the whole country.

Neal: If you had been paying attention at the museum you would know a little.

Burn: The tour guide was talking about how transistors were made for most of the tour, and I was TIRED. And how does Ariel know magic, anyway?

Arthur: She probably finished her homevork in time for her to practice it. *turns her textbook to the correct chapter*

Laitu: ...John Egbert is a reference? *confused*

Axel: How do they work? *makes a swipe for the hat*

David: *Yup, still falling.* Huh... this one button doesn't do much. The arm doesn't really do anything, except beep a bit when I push it. Unless there's a delay for some reas- *As the GRAPPLE FIST launches, embedding robot fingers in the building nearby and pulling David and Jane towards the building wall* WWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Sarcastic: And there they go. He'll probably hit the wall and knock himself out, leaving him suspended for hours while he's unconscious. Dunno what'll happen to Jane, though. *Looking at Laitu* You don't know John Egbert isn't real?

Michael: She probably doesn't know who John Egbert is, she- one moment. *Walks over to Axel, and puts a hat on him which causes any tools he attempts to pick up to teleport out of his hands* There. *Walks back to Sarcastic and Laitu* As I was saying, you're probably just confusing her. Like when you were telling Eta about Exalted.

Sarcastic: Bah. Give the kid a few years, he'll be rolling up Dawn-Caste tanks and gaming circles will thank me for it.

Michael: You have ridiculous motivations.

Teeny Robot Catgirl: *Shrunk in the wash, and now lacks the Teeny Ram required to process her original programming of Destroying Claire, and is thus confused about what her purpose is.* P33p b33p b33p? *Looks up at Tyler, confused*

Laitu: I don't know who John Egbert is at all... there are a lot of people I don't know, and some of them are real, and I don't see why I would be expected to know someone who WASN'T real anyway.

Neal: I'm not sure how practical him knocking himself out for a few hours is... or is it to counterbalance the probability of him not dying? He's a Toboz, right?

Isaac: There are multiple conversations at once and at any given time there are probably at least two that contradict each other. Where did you get this hat?

Chic: Laitu! You and Teal are going to visit me, right? I'll make mac and cheese with sprinkles. *admires Laitu's motorcycle*

Jess: Em, don't you remember what happened in chat?

Chic: Yeah, why? I got to be Amtie Eep for Teal, and Laitu's aunt, too, and it was fun! Even if Laitu is apprenticed to my rival.

Jess: And the adorable teeny catgirl kept bringing you mice she'd hunted down and killed and expecting you to eat them.

Chic: Oh...right. *looks green* Maybe I can slip the mice to Sparky.

Jess: And you'll have to make sure Sparky isn't around, or visit Laitu away from your base. She doesn't like big dogs any better than Claire does, right?

Chic:...Well, I still wanna be their Auntie. We'll work it out!

Sparky: Mice? Those arrre for cats! Save them for Khan. Hey, are Khan and Sahara still around?

Penny: Well, I don't know how much we remember of the time travel adventure, or what the status of jaegers and heterodynes are, but I'm still bringing back some mimmoths! *skritchies Petunia behind the ears*

Rex: *pokes a cold nose into the back of David's neck* Are you going to just hang from this building all day? Pidgeons are going to start roosting on you.

David: Zzz.... *cold nose'd!* YAAH! Huh... my head is really throbby.... ow. I feel like I hit a concrete... *looks at the concrete wall* ... yup. That's about right. Huh. Looks like I'm still holding onto Jane. Um... now how do I get down from here? *Fiddling with his robot arm as a pigeon lands on his head* Ack! Get off! Gettitoff!

Sarcastic: *To Neal* Yes, he's a Toboz. And while I'm not an expert, I am given to understand their form of madness is really more like dumb luck or something. I think? I don't get how it works. Something about chaos or whatnot.

David: I think this button does it... *Pushes it while trying to get the pigeon off his head, causing his robot arm to gradually lower himself and Jane downward* Yay! Now it'll be a while until we get fully down, and I hope this cable's long enough, but hopefully it'll work!

Sarcastic: *Handing Ariel the list*

Michael: Does Frederic still exist? I'm still figuring out everything.

Sahara: *Dragging Khan back into chat by the scruff of his neck* Just get in here!

Khan: NO! I DUN WANNA COME BACK TO CONTINUITY! THERES CRAZY DOGS IN THERE AND NOT ENOUGH CATNIP!

Laitu: I'll come visit you LOTS! *beams as Aunt Chic admires her motorcycle* Can we build things? If Mommy and Daddy say it's ok?

Teal: Peep! *has a HAMBURGER for Aunt Chic! Caught it and killed it herself!* Aumtie! *dragging the box she captured it in*

Crash: ...a 6-inch-tall catgirl just stole my hamburger and hissed at me when I tried to take it back. Is... is there some sort of patch that helps with that? Do I need to be upgraded?

Claire: *pokes Michael* Of course Fredric is still around! If he weren't around I wouldn't have a little brother and that would be SAD.

Burn: And I would have failed out of English by now. He's been helping me with it a lot.

Neal: I'm skeptical as to how lucky constant concussions are... maybe he's just bad entropy manipulation.

Michael: *Stepping between Neal and Sarcastic* Let someone who has an idea about the facts explain. The "Toboz Madness" so to speak is characterized by being stimulated by entropy or disorder. The more chaotic and/or disorderly things are around them, the more undefined variables and whatnot, the more "Mad genius" a Toboz gets. Up there is actually pretty tame, so I think my Uncle is more or less effectively Sane.

Sarcastic: Hmmph. Just because I haven't studied it...

Khan: ...did a tiny human/feline hybrid just walk past carrying a burger? Is that a thing that just happened?

Sahara: Shush. I'm inviting Sparky and Penny and Jane and whoever else is interested for a Spa night.

Chic: *after Teal drags the box over and presents it to her * For me?* opens it cautiously, sighs in relief when she sees a hamburger* Aw, thank you Teal!

Penny: A spa night? Count me in!

Sparky: *blinks* You're inviting me? A dog? Um...okay.

Kid Atomic: Hey, is Axel still workin' for me as a mechanic, or is he solo now?

Zia: Damien, do you still have the Hesviubwa? If so, I'll add another gross of ink pens to the next office supply order for the Library.

Sarcastic: Let's see... going over my notes... I think I have enough here...

David: *Having finally landed* Hiya Sarcastic! What'cha doing?

Sarcastic: I have to give a fifteen minute long presentation for a College Teaching Class on a subject. I figured I'd do one about Mad Science.

David: ...Mad Science?

Sarcastic: Well yeah. I see enough of it. You learn to look for certain signs and cues and how to react to them properly. See, I've noticed that- *Unintelligible due to loud noises near David*

David: Er, I'm sorry. I missed that last part because the static reflux vents on my new cybernetic arm were clogged by debris and if I didn't clear them out quickly it would have exploded killing both of us. What were you saying?

Sarcastic: ...this is a case in point right here. Mind if I run my presentation by you to see if I'm solid?

David: Sure! I like helping!

Sarcastic: *Clears her throat* A-HEM. Welcome to "Understanding Mad Science: A Primer for Norms, Mundys, Sane Folks, and Henchpeople." In this 15 minute long presentation, I hope to cover the basics of recognizing Mad Scientists and how to properly and safely interact with them. Before we begin, I would like to state for the record that none of this is meant as a comprehensive guide to the subject; quite the opposite. Mad Scientists are fundamentally diverse and chaotic and tend to exceed or disobey structured definition. However, by keeping these guidelines in mind, you should be able to identify the "average" Mad Scientist and know how to avoid offending them or incurring their wrath or worse: Making a social faux pas that causes them to think you're asking to be experimented on.

David: Ok, good so far... *Sitting and listening helpfully!*

Sarcastic: Let's start with how to identify Mad Scientists and Prospective Mads. In my research I found a number of different methods that psychologists and behavioral scientists swear by, but by and large I couldn't seem to find any method that every authority on the subject agreed on. Some prefer the Offenheimer Method, of firing a shiny object through a sunbeam at high velocities while the test subject watches and observing their reaction. Other experts believe the best way of proof-positive identifying a Mad Scientist is the Sandusky Method, whereupon you leave the test subject in a room with a bunch of random sciency-junk and wait for ten minutes. Still others have put forward the thus-far untested Farnsworth Method, where you use high-powered and potentially cancerous brain scanners as well as a pair of forceps and a dentists' table to study the shape and electrical activity of the test subject's brain.

David: Wait, what was that about potential cancer? Are there crabs involved somehow?

Sarcastic: Quiet! But I discounted each of these methods because they failed to meet some basic criteria. None of them can be conducted without prior preparation, they all cannot be done without the subject being suspicious as to the nature of the test, and two of the three tend to leave smoking craters after being conducted. Instead, I prefer a much more simple and improvisational method. While it may not be as comprehensive, it is generally a good litmus test for common traits associated with Mad Science.

Sarcastic: This method, which I have dubbed "The Nerd Response", is simple. As the test subject to perform something technical or mathematical that is inherently simple, and observe to see if they begin to complicate it.

David: Wait... um, maybe I'm missing something, Sarc. But how does that even work? I don't quite understand.

Sarcastic: Well, maybe this would be a good time to give an example. Let's say I ask Dr. Geneve Beard to feed my friend Ryan's goldfish, which I have here. *Points at a goldfish tank on the table nearby* Your average joe would probably just take the feed seated conveniently next to the tank and sprinkle some in. Especially if they know very little about the care and raising of goldfish. A statistically likely, although not necessarily guaranteed response, from Dr. Geneve Beard might begin with her examining the food, noting that the nutritional level of the food is horrible for this specific subspecies of goldfish. This would then cause her to begin checking to see if the goldfish is malnourished, which may require her to temporarily remove it from the tank and move it to a facility where she has more access to tools and testing apparatuses. Apparati. However you pluralize that. In any event, from here her behavior would probably diverge depending on the state and condition of said goldfish, but it's a good example of how Mad Scientists in general tend to complicate things beyond what they need to. Hypothetically, of course.

David: I'm not sure I can believe that all Mad Scientists, or even most of us, do that.

Sarcastic: Wanna put it to the test? My car's been showing me the Check Engine light for the past two days and I was hoping to ask someone who knew machines to tell me what it means, and- *blinks as David runs off* Boss? BOSS! NO! PUT THE TIRE JACK DOWN! I WASN'T GOING TO SUGGEST WE TEST IT WITH YOU! I DON'T NEED APPENDAGES ADDED TO MY CAR!

(Want to see Sarcastic go further into her presentation about "Understanding Mad Scientists?" Volunteer your character in the MSW lounge or just heckle in character chat!)

Geneve: *walks in* Hello all. What did I miss?
Mimic: *waves! Muted friendly colors!*
Geneve: *observes abandoned goldfish* Hm? ...Is that... flake food? *picks up jar* ...Tropical flake food? Oh you poor thing. *promptly steals goldfish*

Jane: yaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~ *flumph*
[her fall is broken by the appendages David has just installed on Sarcastic's car.] ... ow...

Tyler: [has wandered out of Jane's lair... somehow... with TRC sitting on his head.] Peep to you too, then?

Ariel: [reading] Wha—?! There's only information about myself... meta sensor failure... at least I'm going to college.

Jane: [on her feet again] Sarcastic? I can help you understand Mads~~!~! [grinning] Test me~?

Ms. Gunsmith: [handing out fliers to her gun store. In particular, makes sure to hand them to Chic, Jess, and anyone else who looks like they might use something gun-like] Nice to meet you— have you heard of my shop? All guns, energy weapons, cannon, and other high-tech projectile weapons bought, sold, and maintained!

Wally: *stumbles in through a rift in time and space* ...Is this like, going to be my thing? I'm not even a physicist... I mean, I learned how to make a dimensional portal out of necessity, but-

Lagos: *whacks him upside the head, then drapes herself over the back of his neck* Look, you don't see me complaining about having to dirty up my metal with your silly organic bits, so just keep quiet and do your biology.

Wally: My silly organic bits?! Those silly organic bits are what's keeping you around, and don't you forget it! *takes a deep breath* ...Isn't have a pet supposed to be relaxing?

Lagos: Of course it is. You just don't pet me enough.

Wally: ...Right. *sighs, and pets her* ...So obviously, we haven't been changed much by this whole thing, considering I think I missed out on it in the first place. So apologies if I ask any stupid questions... especially to you, Chic. *hugs her*

War: ...I thought I replaced you already.

Wally: Huh. This could be awkward.

Chic: *tackleglomps Wally* Hi<3!

Sparky: Lagos! Sahara's having a girl's spa day. Wanna come along?

Mecha: Sparky, maybe she'd rather blow things up with Claire.

Sparky: The two activities aren't mutually exclusive.

Francine (Nega-Chic)-Hmm, I wonder if Caine vanished through a rift in time and space, too.

Penny: I wonder what Doctor Beard is going to do with that goldfish.

Jess: So, Tyler-do you play with a band, or are you a solo artist?

Sarcastic: *After seeing David modify her car and Jane fall on it* Welp. My car is totalled. I hope my insurance has some sort of "Acts of Mad" contingency in it. They don't justify crazy people falling under "Acts of God." I checked.

David: Aw... and i'd just finished giving your car rocket-legs...

Sarcastic: *Looking at Jane* Ok, sure. I'll test you. Hm.... something simple. Something simple... it needs to be something that would pertain to your interests, but also something mundane... hmm... Ok! Let's say... go make a pitcher of lemonade for everyone, ok? And once you're done I'll continue.

Neal: Ah, gotcha. That makes more sense than some sort of Mad-style law of large numbers.

Teal: Peep! Peep! *pokes Wally's metal arm with her spear* Peep peep. *finds him worthy of Auntie*

Jennifer: *listening to Sarcastic* Hmmm... Is Claire (and by extension Rose) just an acknowledged failure mode of Madness tests at this point? *reading a textbook and holding a red pen*

Claire: Lagos. Pst. Lagos. Wanna help me test this demolition-grade firework I found? *holding it up and grinning*

Crash: Ariel, I don't suppose you have any drivers for tiny catgirl cheeseburger theft prevention?

Caine: ...Actually, I usually just hide in the basement whenever my double disappears. Mostly because I don't want to get dragged along with whatever craziness he gets into annoyingly regularly.

Wally: *is tackleglomped* Hey there loverly <3. *looks at Teal* Peep peep peeep peep. *turns back to Chic* It's good to see you again.

Lagos: Oooooh... those both sound fun. Maybe next time, though, Sparky... Wally always tries to keep me from using too much when we're out and why are we still talking when we could be blowing stuff up?

Sarcastic: *At Jennifer* As of yet there aren't statistically enough Claires that they've become relevant to the larger number of sane researchers in Mad Science. Or at least, none of the books on the subject have mentioned her. Actually though, Claire-like behavior is covered in a later part of my presentation.

Tiny Robotic Claire: P33p p33p p33p? *Appreciates the ride, sitting on Tyler's head and asking him where they are, expecting him to speak p33p. And also asking if drivers for teeny catgirl tail motions exist or not.*

Khan: ...why are a small rabbit and a girl who is clearly a cat fangirl detonating things in the back yard?

Dr. Beard: Aha! I've got it! Goldfish are already omnivorous by nature, so I just need to enhance its digestive capabilities! That way, if the owner continues to feed it incorrectly, it can live off of the poorer food with no ill effects by bolstering it with other things! Like the owner's fingers!

Mimic: *sads because not allowed to eat the fishie*

Laitu: *peers at the goldfish* Does the omnivororousness include eating kitties? I don't wanna be eaten by a fish. Claire would tease me.

Jennifer: Oh, you mean Claire usually doesn't bother them now that she stays off college campuses.

Teal: Peep! Peep peep. *toddles to the other end of the table and pokes Sarcastic with her spear* Peep.

Claire: *having fun!* It's explosive AND PRETTY COLORS!

Tyler: [appears AMPLIFIED for a moment, and lit like on stage. To Jess:] I am the band.

Jane: Here you go~! :3 [returns with a pitcher of lemonade. very excited] I brought glasses, too.

Ariel: [comes up to TRC] Peep peep, peep, peep. [offers her some drivers for tail motion, wirelessly. to Tyler:] Here— use this. [hands him a dictionary of English-to-Peep]

Tyler: Ummmm.... 'peep'?

Maria Narbon: So Francine is getting involved with Caine? Maybe I should look around for someone paranoid.

Chic: Maria, Nega-Me and Nega-Wally have been an item for a long time in game, from before the posiverse and the negaverse were separated.

Francine: I thought Maria had her eye on Lexus?

Jess: *looks at Tyler's show* Heh, nice. Hey, Tyler, my kid IF would probably like to meet you. Zir's really into creating music.

Penny: Sarc, are you still in college in the reboot, or are you regressing to high school age? *admires how Dr.Beard modified the goldfish*

Jess; Ms. Gunsmith, how about Roscoe for a surname? Since it's slang for gun.

Chic: Wally, have I met Walter and Nancy yet? And do they know you're in the HEH yet? *leans on his shoulder* You can stay with me if you need a place to plan taking your base back over from War. We can share the lab and create abominations against God and Man to storm the place. <3

Kid Atomic: *presents Laitu with her own set of mechanic's coveralls with the Atomic Motors logo and a name patch with Laitu embroidered in pink*

Jennifer: *pours herself a glass of lemonade*

Neal: I thought you were trying NOT to be stupid this time.

Jennifer: I want lemonade!

Neal: Pff, see you in a month, then.

Jennifer: It's not poison! That would be counter-productive!

Laitu: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *tackle-glomps Kid Atomic*

Wally: *smiles* That'd be nice. And yeah, they know about HEH... I think they've met you, though it wasn't too long ago.

War: *sighs* Darn temporal shenanigans. I suppose this is one way to get him to move out, but seriously...

Axel: @ Kid Atomic Hi, can I still work here? Hi Laitu!

Damien: I swear I heard someone mention Madness tests. @Zia Yes, I still have the oof! *gets tackled to the ground by a ton of excited fur* ...Hsvieubwa. Ow.

Sarah: *swipes on of Gunsmith's fliers*

Ms. Gunsmith: [@Jess] How did you stumble on that?! I thought I'd buried all record of my middle name. [embarassed]

Jane: The lemonade? Don't worry, there isn't anything in it. That's not time-delayed, that is.

Ms. Gunsmith: [@Sarah] Anything catch your fancy? We've got everything from cannon to sniper rifles.

MN: Yeah, I'm kinda sweet on Lexus. It's just a matter of finding him... [getting dressed in a ghoul costume] ...he's so nice and paranoid.

Jane: [@Wally] So what's it like at the HEH? I'm curious~ [totally not spying]