Comics by Shaenon II

In order to facilitate in the discussion of all Mad Science Wars and activities, I hereby create this topic for discussion by participants and onlookers, and...

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You get the idea. Here is the place for everyone to discuss the Mad Scientist Wars and the Mad Scientists (Henchmen as well).

So, go ahead. Say something. You know you want to.

Welcome to the Lounge, everybody. I should have thought of this one sooner.

Doom has come to all!
But first, I'd like some tea. With lemon and sugar.

Hmmm, what an interesting little place. I wonder what'll happen here soon enough. I think it might involve minor amounts of destruction.

Your tea, sir,
While the lemons are fresh, sugar was deemed too "normal," sir, may the house offer instead mutagenic strain 22 beta*?

And you, Mister Wally, sir? What refreshment would you prefer?

But on to the actual purpose of the lounge. I was following the twisted convulations of the actual wars versus the more straightforward brawl of the practice and I have to wonder. Are they happen simultaneously, in the same suburb that shall not be named? Or is the practice going to be retconned out into nothing? Heh, just imagine the chaos, when you tell aspiring mad scientists they need to break the world bad enough to end it.

*Mutagenic strain 22 beta has been known to cause death, deformity, growth of new appendages, changing of species and/or gender. Safe handle includes staying away from it at a distance of no less than 200 miles in any direction. Do not shake MS22b. Do not drop MS22b. do not stare at MS22b for long periods at time, it may consider it a challenge. Do NOT taunt MS22b.

mutagenic strain 22 beta? What am I some low class fool? Give me the 25!lol.

As for where we are: Good question. I assumed that its just in a smaller town and once we get into the big war, we can relocate anywhere and gain the attention of the other Mad Scientists who then might want to destroy us.

Now my question is: Whose hosting the mad scientist award ceremony?

I think I might have a nice Plutonium Parade, non-alcoholic. Oh, and an lettuce broth for my friend. He likes mutagen-22, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to give it to him in an enclosed enviroment.

Very good, sirs. Your drinks will be out momentarily, and the help is donning the lead suit for the 25 as we speak.

As for the awards, is there an actual hosted event here in the MSW area? Though the highlight is not who's hosting it, but instead who's crashing it.
I think this years favorite is So It Begins, but rumors that he played fair and by the rules are hurting him in the last strech. Jane Narbon, I hear, has been bribing and blackmailing like it's going out of season, so she may take the prize. Or at least kill whoever wins it and claim it anyways.
That Guy is expected to take the best supporting hench, by virtue that the other contestants are all dead. But, with last minute returns from the dead, you can never be sure.

Well, the real problem with mad science fancy-dos like that, Desius, is that it's so hard to keep the contestants that DIDN'T win from trying to vaporize the entire place during the awards ceremony. There are very few events for the mad science community because when you get enough of them together, there's always trouble.

Truth be told, I've never seen the point of those sorts of events, anyway. TRUE mad science happens in the dead of night, with sparking equipment and bubbling beakers, not crowds of people and cocktail drinks. And no, I'm NOT angry that I didn't get nominated for an award this year! Bah, those judges wouldn't know cybernetics if they were assimilated...

Anyways, this was a great idea. We need a place to be able to say things without having to try and destroy each other. Plus, here in the lounge I don't have to worry about that pesky amnesia, thanks to the handy non-canonomiter I installed! Oh, and I promise that I'm going to try and decrease the verbosity of my posts from now on. I'm fairly sure everyone's tired of reading my tirades of stuff, or something like that.

Nonsense Professor Zobot, this is the internet where tirades of stuff are welcomed, and if not welcomed grudgingly accepted.

Ah, Garçon? A cup of strong black coffee/tea hybrid, please. Heavy cream, and just a little hyper-sugar.

To the note of the first, i like to believe that Wars Alpha and Beta (so to speak) take place in neighboring towns in an Undisclosed area of America.


And as for the Awards, i make a point of attending yearly, as the event holds some family history to it. You seem, my parents met there, after my father was kidnapped to speak on a panel and Mother nearly killed him in the collateral damage.

*Sigh* Jane Narbon is very likely to win, I suppose. . . . but I can't help but favor So It Begins, as he has been a rather long-term rival of mine for some time now.
And I. . . . . am never even in the consideration, as far as I know. Well, except the time I stormed the school systems with my GRUE army and a well timed series of electrical blackouts. But that was years ago when I was just Literature Major Tinker.
Ended up loosing to that prat with the stupid kill-o-matron, just because he caused more property damage.. . . Although, I did get issued Order of Frankenstine for actually getting my demands met.

(Heh heh heh.)

Good choice, sir. I'll send out the order right away.
I'm deeply sorry, Lord Dave, it will be a moment longer for the 25. It has escaped and is currently running around in the vents eating the busboys. Alas, we've only lost five so far, so I worry the 25 may have gotten a bit stale.
And for you good sir, here is your lettuce broth and your Plutonium Parade, non-alcoholic as you requested. The house wishes to remind you to wear your lead sheet while you drink it.

Speaking of the practice vs. actual, are there going to be martians invading the practice? Honestly, despite the global threat, I can't help but picture only a few select people actually know about them.
Order of Frankenstine? Impressive Prof. Tinker! Did you get a medal?

We know about it, but we're ignoring it.

Hee hee! Why, thank you. It was a nice compensation for not actiually winning of The year. . . although, less death threats.
Actually, It's a pin, this one here, see? *points to a small badge on jacket lapel, shaped like a silver lightning rod*
It's really just worth some bragging rights, but it did help me get my current job at the University! Apparently, someone on the staff wanted me 'Under Surveillance'. I never figured out who. . .
I mean, who would be worried about a Mad Scientist English major?

Thank you muchly. Just place the broth in front of the large rabbit, and I think I'll take that apron. I might have to make some modifications though...

Hmmm, I'll just have something light,I think. A pan-galactic gargle blaster, with a twist of lemon, please.
Not a bad little place. The decor could use some strategicly placed big gears,and..."Ooh, is that the Order of Frankenstine? Very nice. I've always wanted one of those. It would complement my holy medal of St.Tesla quite nicely."

Very good sir. I'll have it made up right away.
Mr Wally, we strive to accommodate all our guests needs, so feel free to modify our safety devices. However the house wishes to remind you that hostile or excessive actions with be met with the full displeasure of our staff and patron. In such an event, I am instructed by our patron to remind you of these three little words.
Heh. Heh. Heh.
That is all. Any refills or new orders while we wait? Do not hesitate to ask.

So what brings you to this neck of the woods, chicgeek? Are you a long time watcher of the wars? Or are you planning on joining the fray?
Though in retrospect, I seem to have hi-jacked the thread playing the waiter. Does anyone have any objections or anything to it? Let me know, I don't want to sort of push anyone or thing aside, being the relative newcomer here me-self.

Desius,Chicgeek is a ma'am,not a sir. And a very chic ma'am.

By all means,highjack away-I've enjoyed your waiter persona. I am a long term lurker who has decided to attempt to join the fray. it's too much fun!
Heh.Heh.Heh.

Welcome chicgeek. Welcome to the danger zone.

Why, welcome Miss Chicgeek! always a pleasure to have another Lady of Style in this little oasis.
It is rather nice, isn't it? O don't know if you would have heard of the GRUE raid on the United States Schooling System, but I got my demands met, so Hence the Order of Frankenstine.
It's not much, but it gives me some comfort. May I ask what your Modus Operandi might be?

And Desius, don;t be silly. Your impeccable service and conversation are the shining attraction of this establishment. Remember, all Mads are at Heart, Geeks. And most geeks are not know for conversation, so we really need all the help we can get.
Besides, according to my knowledge of Narrative Causality, without an Authority figure we wouldn't be able to be pleasant with each other.

Oh,Professor Tinker,I dabble. Wardenclyffe death rays,electronics,what can I say? I do so enjoy the classics. Ah,so those were your Grues! Always a pleasure to see the world of acadamia shaken up a bit.

Desius, may I offer you and the professor some of my special electrically charged coffee? It's quite stimulating. And the curly hair is a bonus!

Oh dear, I'm dreadfully sorry, ma'm. Please excuse me while I suitably punish myself. Would you prefer the hand in the mutated ill-tempered goldfish, they are most effecient at stripping flesh from bone, or perhaps....
Ah I see you have already decided to personally administer the punishment. Very well, good choice ma'm.
Speaking of, ma'm, your drink has arrived. Be careful of the lemon twist, the lemons here are a wild carnivorous bunch raised off the busboys.
And here is, at last, the 25, Lord Dave. I hope your wait hasn't been too long.

I have always wondered Prof. Tinker, are your GRUEs based off the Jack Vance, "the Dying Earth" series, the Zork series, or some other sources that I am unaware of? And do they have those grue traditional weaknesses?

Now, if you would please excuse me, I must go and drink my punishment.

Oh, REALLY? I think i've heard of you Miss Chicgeek. The Steampunk menace, if I am not mistaken, no?
I must confess then, that I am a fan of your designs. The Hyper-Zeppelin especially. The classic design, the beautiful recollection of Mad Sciences heyday, with the maneuverability of modern invention.

*sips charged coffee* Eep! Whoo, that;s a buzz! I'll need some of this next grading season. And yes, they;re my speciality. GRUES, Vorpal Rabbits, Pirana Plants, a Cheshire Cat, and now I'm working on an Owl Bear.

And Desius, you are quite right.
'The grue is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its favorite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its fear of light. No grue has ever been seen by the light of day, and few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale.''
They share a weakness to light, of course, but I have actually devised a set of goggles that counteract this. They still prefer shade, of course. But that's what blackouts are for . . . heh heh heh.

Hmmm, a few tweaks there, a few dohickies added, and voila. I now have a fully radiation resistant protection agent, encased within a mildly stylish lab coat. Anyone else want one? They also seem to be lightly bullet-proof, but I'm not going to guarantee that part of the design.

It is quite nice to meet you chicgeek, and I hope your mechanical monstrosities don't run out of fuel anytime soon. Hmm, have you ever given any thought to the idea of steam-powered prosthetics? I could see some interesting work done in that area.

Thank you for the lettuce broth, Desius. So many humans, like that bumbling idiot with the bright turquoise lab coat, let the lettuce steep for far too long, and then you don't get any of the crunchiness on the side.

*Lagos turns to Professor Tinker*

So, Professor, you have a Vorpal Rabbit? I'd be very interested in hearing about him, if you have the time. It's always interesting to find out about another modified lagomorph.

Hmm, I'd accept one, WallyCaine, if you're willing to give them away. You can never have too much protection from radiation in our line of work. Of course, I'll have to insist on making a gift in return for you, but that can wait.

*Grins* I'll give you that Professor Tinker's GRUEs seem formidible, but having spent a night on his couch, I managed to meet a few of them. Don't be fooled, domisticated life has ruined them. Oh sure, they'll eat the odd adventurer or two, but they've developed the unfortunate habit of getting chatty with potential meals. I will admit that the ones I met were very learned on the subject of Anthropology, however.

But where are my manners? Chicgeek, Desius, WallyCaine, Lord Dave, and Dr. Amino, it is a pleasure to meet all of you. Good luck, and may none of you get destroyed by your own creations. *Looks up* Oh waiter, may I have a Gin and Tonic?

I'd gladly share them. Just need another lead apron... Thank you Desuis, and a little work... Any particular color Professor Zorbot? Oh, and thank you for the well wishes. I'll admit that I do have some experience with the whole getting attacked by your own creations, *glares at Lagos* but no destruction as of yet.

I wouldn't know what you're talking about. And hypothetically, even if it did happen, you started it with that whole "I am your Creator" bit. I mean, seriously, have you ever seen that work?

That was only because you'd eaten the rest of my experiments for the day. And I'll have you know...

*things degenerate into loud arguing*

All right, I won't do it again anytime soon. Just remember, I'm just as much a genius as you are. Respect that.

Fine, fine, just try not to argue in public. It's demeaning.

*Turns to Lagos*
Why, indeed I do! Fluffy, a Winged Vorpal Rabbit, to be precise. I bought him from a pet store when he was a regular little baby rabbit and modified him with an experimental serum I had worked on for a while. I added the wings for maneuverability.

He's also very intelligent, but if he can speak (and he *should* be able to) he's yet to do so. He has proven to be an invaluable assistant and a loyal companion.
*Fluffy pops out of one of the pockets of Tinker's red jacket, and inclined his head at Lagos*
Ah, there he is now. *Fluffy hops up to Lagos*

*turns to Proffessor Zobot*
Thats only because i told them not to eat you, you ingrate! Besides, before I gave them their goggles, they'd never had a chance to be seen, so it;s not my fault that besides the red eyes, toothy jaws, and claws that they mostly look like black-furred cute animals!

Hmm? What's that Fluffy?
*Fluffy inclines his head and makes a 'squeak' noise*
Oh, I wouldn't dream of keeping you! Go on ahead outside and stretch your wings a bit. I'll see about ordering you some of that raspberry tea you are so fond of, dear.

*fluffy hops outside to where Lagos is*
*scratches behind his ear, hops up and hovers in the air, and speaks- in a mild cockney accent*

'Ello, Lagos. It's nice to meet you, too.
I can talk, true, just usually I don't have much to say, and Dad can understand me anyways. He needs a listener, most days, yanno?

So howdjer Scientist make you? Dad already told you about me, just he left out that I was the runt of the litter. I probably woulda been snake food.

Why,Professor Tinker,you're too kind. The Hyper-Zepplin is a particular favorite of mine. The Steampunk Menace? I rather like that. And what a fascinating array of creatures! Tell me, is it difficult to keep them from turning on each other? I'm sure that's no problem with fluffy-he's obviously so intelligent. I did try raising a raccoon once-since they're already equipped with hands,it seemed like it could be potentially quite useful. But alas, it really isn't my area of expertise,and when it got into the coffee-.Sigh. It's still a painful subject. I believe I shall stick with mechanical augmentation for the nonce.


Turns to Wallycaine.
My dear sir,my mechanical monstrosities never run out of fuel! But you do raise an intriging idea-steam powered prosthetics. Radioactive steam,caffinated steam,hmmm.....I'll have to run some tests when I get back to the lab. Something that could launch a missile, and brew a perfect cup of tea before impact. I like it! And if I may make a suggestion, have you considered mechanical additions to your own creations? Not that they aren't already quite capable, I hasten to assure you. But it's such fun to...accessorize.

Professor Zobot,Lord Dave,Doctor Amino,Wallycaine-and of course Lagos and Fluffy-it is indeed a pleasure. Desius, I...Desius? Oh,dear. The coffee may have been a wee bit strong today. Don't worry, just one cup shouldn't have any permanent effects. The excess energy will wear off,why, you're hardly twitching at all now! But if you do need to work off some energy, perhaps you should see if the lagomorphs would like some nice seasoned wood to gnaw. If that's a trait they share with mundane lapins, the mahogony bar may be too tempting otherwise.